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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 3/25/2006 3:12:38 AM |
A woman is not a car. She doesnt need to be test driven.
Your kidding right? Well am I allowed to at least grope her a little?
So what kind of person thinks that sex with a woman is like hoppin in a caddy and taking her for a spin? So do you consider the short girls Yugos and the big girls like F350 Power stroke diesels? So if she is over 45 is she like a Rambler or one of those 1960 panel side station wagons?
(just riding you a little bit, Texan) | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 4/1/2006 6:43:54 PM | | I would have to say that 99% of the guy that I have known said they would wait and then about a couple weeks later were pushing to get into my pants. I know this isn't all the guys out there. I don't know if I could wait until I was married but I know that after enough mistakes in my life I would want to wait until I knew that I loved someone or wanted to be with them or could see the relationship lasting. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 4/1/2006 7:06:03 PM | You know i swear i read in a few places that between 80-90% of marriages fail upon waiting till marriage for sex.
After reading that.. hell no i wouldn't want to wait. If im getting married, i'd like to give us a the very least, a fighting chance to make it. With those odds, i just plain dont think its worth it. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 4/2/2006 9:34:25 AM | | ^^^ Fair enough perspective, but let me ask you this: what if you wait until marriage and there is no sexual compatibility at all? It just doesn't work between the two of you? Are you then going to forego sex for the rest of your life? I personally know dozens of people who have divorced due to sexual incompatibility (different drive, unwilling to try or do certain things, etc.) after several years. People change. But what do you think your chances would be if you had bad or no sex from the beginning? | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 4/2/2006 12:50:54 PM |
(Msg 716) man this is an age old question,but the answer is very simple.guys should wait because if you build a relationship off of sex what do you have after the sex gets routine?nothing is what you have so i say guys should wait.
My way of thinking is two people build a relationship while the sex is powerful and mind blowing. That is the purpose of those feelings.
We are all different. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people on this system and some say they can't find anyone. It's absurd! Why? Because they are looking for someone just like themselves or someone that fulfills a specific list of requirements.
The sex, the passion at the beginning of the relationship is supposed to enable us to want to be with the person regardless of any list. Sure, the initial passion cools down but by that time we should be synchronized with the other person. The passion period gives both people the time to fit together.
The activities we enjoy, the attitudes we hold, the way we look at the world are all a result of what our particular history was like. The purpose of the passion is wanting to be with the person and trying new activities, looking at the world a different way. As the passion cools we become accustomed to doing and enjoying different things. We grow together as a couple. That is the excitement and if the initial attraction was truly there in the beginning it will remain.
I feel the problem is sexual attraction has not been given it's rightful place. Rather than two people utilizing the feelings and building something they deny or supress the feelings. They base a relationship on what they like doing today, on how they look at the world today, knowing those things are going to change.
Relationships do not end because someone finds a skiing partner. Affairs do not happen because someone crosses paths with a person possessing similar political beliefs or owns a cute dog or recycles their newspapers.
A romantic relationship is a sexual relationship and sex has to be based on sexual attraction, not because the partner is a good cook or votes Conservative or donates to the Orphan Fund. In other words if the sexual attraction is the result of something not sexual common sense dictates it will diminish when those things change.
While we all age our bone structure does not noticably change. Tall people remain tall. Studies have shown people are attracted to the symmetry of one's face. Simply put, beauty is judged by how far our eyes are set apart. The shape of our nose in relation to our eyes and mouth. Those things do not change. If we are truly attracted to an individual we will continue to be attracted to that individual and that attraction is important. While we all know that sex sells everything from condoms to cars why do people insist on denying it's power when it comes to relationships?
Sex isn't everything. "This" is more important than sex. "That" is more important than sex. Why is their logic so illogical? | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 4/2/2006 1:09:32 PM | | true sexual incompatibilities are hard to work through but there are ways to work around them.because when i was married there were a lot of sexual hiccups on both of our parts such as unwillingness to try certain things.but after getting to know a person for so long and things open up so much.now right before we got divorced things opened way up. but we divorced because she loved the streets and clubbing more than me and her children.but like i say there are ways around most sexual incompatibiliteies. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 4/2/2006 4:48:35 PM | there are ways around most sexual incompatibiliteies
Well, I can't take your pronouncement on faith; I would need several specific examples of how sexual incompatibilty can be worked out. Here's a few areas to think about:
Disparate sexual drives: how can this one be overcome? It's physiologically set. No amount of pleading, "working" on it, communication, teasing, is going to increase the desire to have more sex for the one with the lower sex drive.
A narrow definition of what is, and is not, acceptable as to sexual variety: role playing; sex outside; dom/sub exploration; animalistic spontaneity; long-drawn-out romantic play; oral, anal sex; even certain positions; .....and the list goes on. Some people get over their sexual squeamishness or lack of adventure. Many others never will.
An inability or unwillingness to listen to what the other lover desires between the sheets:..Many people will say and do a lot of things with their partner to please them outside the bedroom, such as engaging in social activities they normally find boring or even displeasing, simply to engender mutual good-will and cement their future together. (There was an interesting topic on this forum the other day about a guy who disguised that he was a social butterfly when it turns out he was a stay-at-home loner after he "had" her after a while).... But when in the bedroom, in the heat of passion and in long sessions of naked (emotionally, not just physically) union, it's much harder to disguise the fact you may not be as compassionate or sensitive as your PR job at a restaurant made it sound.
Simple issues involving possible physical problems between the two: size (his and hers) incompatibilities; sexual dysfunctions which may or may not be tied to the other specifically; ineptness, or a general lack of artfulness and imagination.
There are others, but I would love to hear specific feedback on ways to overcome these very real-world problems that plague many would-be lovers. And, please, focus on the specificities: "our love is so strong it will overcome all obstacles" is not an answer. | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 720 | |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 4/2/2006 4:56:22 PM | Err how do you know if they are right without having a sexual relationship as well ?
I could be with someone who was great in all other aspects, though if we didn't match sexually, there would be no long prospects, that's good friend material.
So I wouldn't marry someone without knowing, regardless of religious brainwashing. | |
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MarkCK
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Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 721 | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 4/3/2006 12:38:26 AM |
And, please, focus on the specificities: "our love is so strong it will overcome all obstacles" is not an answer. - rory27
How about, "Oh hey, we MEANT well!" Or, "Suck it up! God didn't guarantee you a satisfying sex life." Or maybe, "Ha ha! Grin and bear it!" Or perhaps, "There's always internet porn and a box of kleenex with lotion!" | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 4/3/2006 1:03:24 AM | | I had a guy wait 17 years and that was his choice. It was love at first sight for me, don't know about him but considering it went on for that long he must have felt something too. No other person has made me as nervous as him, except for Kipper (long story). He was the first guy i ever french kissed..lol...how embarrassing..i must have been pretty bad...i was in grade 8 he was in grade 11 (Mr. Popular dating Ms. Popular in Grade 12). Needless to say he was far more experienced then me. He had a reputation for having women crawl through his bedroom window. Yet in all those years I've spent with him, he held out. In all honesty, I think he was waiting til mairrage. We had this pattern of seeing each other every 2 years, and I'd crash in his bed with him but he would never try anything. We finally did hook up...17 years later...lol. We didn't work out..and he got married a year later. Altho sometimes I think I would have liked to have given that a second chance. He certainly was much more of a gentleman, stand up guy then most guys I've met. | |
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