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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 5/15/2006 9:45:07 PM |
How can an intelligent woman age after 30 be bad in bed ,unless she hasn't had much experience (with one man or many doesn't matter) . She can't , it's not possible . Smart girls learn things . work at it . please . - mike919293949596
My friend, I hate to disillusion you, but yes, there are smart, 30-year women who know NOTHING about sex. (I'm sure there are similarly disequipped men, but I don't know THAT from experience.) I'm not saying this because I'm the expert. I'm saying this because I've met women who knew a LOT less than I did. They were otherwise smart, mature individuals.
I've also know women who were as dumb as a box of rocks, and left me bleeding and moaning in the gutter. And ordered Chinese take-out afterwards.
Smarts in the head does not translate into smarts between the sheets.
Sometimes it seems like sex is the only thing that matters to guys. Which is wrong ... I don't know who you are, but THANK YOU. Dude, we are a part of the few. This just proves how selfish and greedy most men are. Some call things off if they don't get sex within the first three dates. Sex is the most important thing to them. If the sex isn't great, then things can't work out. Even if the woman is perfect otherwise, they still can't sacrifice great sex to be with her. - mystriousnetrix
Correct me if I'm wrong, mystriousnetrix, but if I recall from a previous conversation, you are an 18-year old virgin. Perhaps it was even earlier in this same thread.
That means you haven't even entered into the adult dynamic of sexuality in a relationship. Ever. So you're arguing with a lot of guys who have been where you are, and walked a lot further down the road. Some of us have BEEN in relationships where the sex sucked. For a long time.
(Note that I am not addressing whether or not you can, or should, wait. That's your business. But you often try to play yourself off against the rest of us like you're some kind of saint, when really, all you are is an inexperienced kid.)
I'm sure, inside your own head, you sound very noble. But I've known PLENTY of men and women, both, who have tried to make relationships work when the sex sucked:
- She likes it every day. He doesn't like it, and tolerates it MAYBE once a month.
- He likes twice a day, kinky and freaky-deaky. She won't do anything except Missionary I, and sometimes rolls over and goes to sleep after she cums. They have sex once every other month.
- He is 2 inches long and maybe a half-inch wide. She doesn't even know if he's in, sometimes.
- She's as big as a house downstairs, and he feels like he's throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
- She can go all night. He is a premature ejaculator who won't go to counseling, won't seek medical treatment and doesn't care that she's frustrated.
I could go on and on and on.
And it's not just men who complain, and who want good sex in their relationships. That's just trash-talking to impress the ladies. As you start getting closer to 30, you will see a lot of women leaving marriages and longterm relationships where they are absolutely fed up with men who don't satisfy them. Women hit their sexual peak later than men. I didn't understand the truth of this until I dove back into the dating pool in my early 30s.
How many women do you think would say "No" to a man that can provide for her and their family, is caring and honest, and anything else a woman desires if he askes her to marry him just because he can't "satisfy" her completely in bed? - mystriousnetrix
My friend, you are in for a VERY big shock as you grow older. I love how you put the word "satisfy" in quotes. Trust me: when you've satisfied a woman in bed, you'll know. And you'll understand that a woman's satisfaction is VERY real, and her desires are VERY important in the bedroom.
You begin with a semi-valid point: sometimes a woman will sacrifice sexual compatibility for a man who can provide for her. I've seen that happen.
But you are evidently unaware that many women in that position either (a) have a little something-something going on the side, or (b) eventually divorce the "provider" and take half of his money, while leaving him for the pool boy. I've been hit on by plenty of married women with a nice rock on her hand and an expensive car in the parking lot. If you honestly believe she's going to give up on sex for your bank account, then you are a sucker/sugar daddy waiting to happen.
I believe that women would be more willing to give up great sex for a man that excels in other areas. You men that place sex so highly on the totem pole, think about that and get a little respect for women. Reorder your priorities. - mystriousnetrix
Bahahahahaha!!!!
And where did you learn that women are more willing to give up great sex for a man that excels in other areas?
It wasn't from a woman, I can tell you that. Usually, the people - both men and women - who are willing to give it up are the same ones who don't like sex to begin with.
If you don't like sex, and you're willing to give it up, then that's not a sacrifice.
I think it's true that women often take a closer look at the whole package. But there are plenty of women who put sex a lot higher on the totem pole that you seem to understand.
Scroll back through this thread, if you don't believe me. There are PLENTY of women who agree with me. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 5/15/2006 11:05:01 PM | and the answer is still........NO. nor would i consider buying a car (new or used) without test driving it. sexual relationships are part of marriage. why would i marry a woman not knowing if she and i are sexually compatible, perhaps to discover that there is no fit, no compatability? y'all have a groovy day    | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 5/16/2006 1:40:46 AM | Oh wow!! thats the million dollar question aint it ...? And holy cow did ya ever get alot of responses to this. But, thing is, I would wait till the right person came along. Not so much marriage...nothing is written in stone er paper er whatever. For ever n ever amen is not good enough for me. Its how I would feel about that other individual, or your comfort zone sorta speak. ...In other words I would never get married again...heh!! its just a legal paper thing...ta me its like toilet paper...dont mean nuttin... | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 5/16/2006 2:44:02 AM |
(Msg 828) Sex is a great way, an indispensible way, to find out many things about the other, and to see if you have a chance to get to long-term status.......Having (not talking, commiserating, understanding, having a mutual vision about) sex is the only way two prospective lovers will ever be able to find out if they're sexually compatible:
Right on! IMO, sex is similar to hunger. We don't work on being hungry or horney. We either are or are not. Furthermore, we all have our preference in foods. One can describe a type of food but we don't know if we like it until we actually taste it.
Color, texture, sweetness, spicy, etc....... all those things we consider when deciding if we like a particular food can be compared to kissing, caressing, holding, movements, rhythm, verbal sounds, etc that go along with sex.
When someone says sex just falls into place that is a big red flag letting us know the importance, or rather the unimportance, they put on sex. The one thing only their partner can supply and they do not care or are not concerned about the quality? That tells us all we need to know regarding their attitude towards sex. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 5/16/2006 4:09:18 AM | I think the biggest turn off would be that someone else had sex with her but you didnt and will not. Because she's playing you...
She's telling all her friends, "oh me and Ronnie haven't had sex and we are not untill were married"
Then her exboyfriend walks by and she starts to fantasize with drool coming down her mouth about the different positions..He had her in.
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 5/16/2006 2:19:45 PM | Hi everybody,
but this is a weird discussion. What are we talking about, sexual intercourse, oral sex, petting? Where does sex start and stop?
I am from Europe (Germany). Nobody, no woman, no men, no whatever ask this question. Everybody is more or less convinced that sex has a lot to do with experience...especially good sex. Furthermore, sex is an immanent part of the development of your personality.
So, I wonder whether this discussion is due to the up to date still very strong influence of religion in the usa.
And to be honest, doesn't the slogan 'No sex before marriage' (whatever it exactly means) focus on women? I am sure that, the percentage of guys who take the slogan serious is negligable.
It is a religiously motivated slogan to control the sexual behaviour of women. This is medeval.
To close the cycle, for me it would be a problem if my girlfriend believes in that slogan...even if I love her very much. But understanding is as important as love. I guess the relation would not survive a very long time.
Frank | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 5/16/2006 2:59:05 PM | Doesn't anybody get sex education anymore? Just because it might not be so great initially doesn't mean it cant become mind blowing with time, practice, experimentation etc. Ditching someone over that as the main reason is pretty much the shallowest thing I've heard. Everyone who is convinced that the perfect person for them has to be a great lay right away...just read Savage Dan, watch the educational show "The Sex Files" (not sure what channel...probably TLC or showcase), and tune into Sex with Sue. Good sex is a skill. Is it great purely by chance sometimes? Absolutely, but relying on that means closing doors to partners that might have everything else (the more important things I might add...like compatible ethics, upbringing, beliefs, sense of humour) you are looking for.
Incidentally I believe the greatest tool in having good sex is a giant....................................................................................................
sense of humour and sense of play ;)
Also as an aside Rory...while triste may indeed mean "sad" in French...Tristan is in origin an old Welsh name (welsh as a language was around long before the French we know...as were the celtic myths that French troubadours nicked from their northerly neighbours) and it means "clamour". While Tristan and Isolde may have been popularised in the middle ages by the french, as a celtic myth it goes back much further than that as Tristan and Isolt. No connection really between triste and Tristan. Just felt like putting my scholarly hat on too ;)
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 5/16/2006 3:54:47 PM | marriedfarmboy wrote:
Who made up that rule anyway? I really mean WHO decided it is bad to have sex before marriage? Does anybody REALLY know whos rule that is?
Various ancient power-grabbing authority figures, such as the Roman Emperor Constantine's Council of Nicea, which distorted Christianity forever. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 5/16/2006 3:59:03 PM | tristanandisolt wrote:
Incidentally I believe the greatest tool in having good sex is a giant....................................................................................................
sense of humour and sense of play ;)
The mind is the largest sex organ.
So, Dude, you're into Wagner? | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 5/16/2006 5:37:15 PM | tristanandisolt, I'm not disputing other origins or meanings to the name "Tristan". Many words have multiple meanings. It's what makes the beginnings of language, and cross-referencing, so fascinating, even ambiguous. But there's nothing ambiguous about the emotion one is left with after reading the seminal "Tristan and Isolde" story. It is one of sadness, and the French were apt in linking the emotion to the story.
Also, although the myth goes back further, the point of my initial post about this was that "agape" was born out of the ethos of the time, of which the "Tristan" story was a fitting symbol.
Doesn't anybody get sex education anymore? Just because it might not be so great initially doesn't mean it can't be mind blowing with time, practise, experimentation etc.
Education is only helpful in, at best, an ancillary way, as a means for two (sexual) strangers to have great sex. Yes, it's very useful to know the basics of how a man and woman are stimulated to orgasm, do's and don'ts of mechanics, etc..., but sex is all about passion. Passion for the other partner can't be learned or taught. We're either turned on by our "significant" other, or we're not. Nothing logical about it at all. Even if we find them physically attractive, what they do, what they don't do, how they do it, has everything to do with how we'll respond in kind. Many attractive men and women are dumped by their partner in short order, and in most cases, it has nothing to do with them playing the field, and everything to do with the realization that the one running felt no sexual chemistry with their partner.
Let's face it: many people simply suck at sex (no pun intended). Again, nothing to do with a lack of education. Great sex is a high art. Some people will never be all that good, or even interested in it. (the latter being a great point. Even education, at its most basic, is useless, if one partner is unwilling to learn, or put it to use).
Let's use the "education" arguement to that of learning and playing basketball. Michael Jordan could teach hundreds of people the technique of playing better hoops, but most will only learn or improve in a rudimentary fashion. This is just the way it is: many are physically uncoordinated, others simply won't "get it".
For too long modern psychology has been the altar to which the masses bow down in deference to matters of love and sex. But again, sex is not logical: it is all about passion, mystery (there's a word you don't see revered in phychological circles. Everything has to be explained in authoritative terms to keep the money-mill churning), nuance, and organic development.
Everyone who is convinced that the perfect person for them has to be a great lay right away
This has never been my contention. In fact, I maintain the opposite. Though there are many partners one can safely forego after one or two trysts, great sex, indeed, does require patience and time, in many instances. But the safest avenue for this exploration is as the biggest activity and focus of the courtship. Since sexual compatibility is complex and often a no-go, the safest route is to develop it in a less-pressurized relationship where a mutual out can be had without the Damocles sword of divorce hanging over the couple's heads.
I had sex constantly for three years with my ex-wife before I decided that she was the right one to marry. And we started on the first date. (The marriage ended after eight years, but had little to do witrh sexual incompatibilty.) Great sex, of itself, won't guarantee any bliss after marriage, but basic compatibility is one less major issue to deal with during those long years of different conflicts. | |
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DeepC
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Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 847 | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 5/18/2006 1:50:23 AM | no way I wait till marriage regardless of the situation. Some may say its a religious comformity, some a ridiculous request (especially if you are active prior to the relationship), some its not even concieveable notion for someone to wait one person and keep it honest and needless to say i agree with all the above. Its a matter of perspective, for the hopeless romantics like tritanandisolt it may be feasible for a man in love to take the virtuous and idealistic pledge to be "patient" (or foolish however you may view it). However, for my more realistic and practical thinkers out there like rory27 we understand that sex is an intricate part of a healthy relationship.
waiting till marriage can cripple a promising relationship. it can build tension between people and more importantly drive a man to cheat no matter how much love is involved. when you marry someone you are just legally confirming what you already feel about the other person. which is the full commitment from your significant other of mind, BODY, and soul. In my mind i can not consider her no more than a good friend if she doesnt commit to me that physical part of her that i know is so vital. I know the whole "friends before lovers" idea but i have to be her lover before i become her husband.
Some may trivialize sex as an overrated action between two people. to those people i dedicate this long laugh at you  
but seriously to the virgins out there i say this, there is a 95% chance of your first being some ***hole you'll never marry. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 5/18/2006 6:58:17 PM | | Dear Taran23, If I could meet the right woman for a relationship and it works out for the both of us. Yes I would wait to have sex until I was marry first. The reason for this is because I promise to God in heaven that I will not have sex before marriage. I think that it is the right thing to do. God said you must keep the marriage bed pure above everything else in a relationship. From Kirkbute | |
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but at least I married the one I lost it to. but then again I divoresd her woh she was mean lol
