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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 8/30/2006 6:58:21 AM | Emotionally, I don't really get either side here; they both think sex is so important. On the one side you have the people who think sex is such a vital part of a relationship, which I don't get, and on the other side you have the people who think it's vital to save sex for marriage, which I don't get either.
I'm 48 and still a virgin, and that's neither a terrible tragedy of brutal self-denial, nor a great achevement of morality and resisting temptation; I've just never been interested enough in having sex to actually do it. And by now I assume I won't ever actually have sex, but if I did try it, I can see that I might dislike it and not do it again, or find it tolerable enough to do it occasionally if I'm with someone who wants to do it, or perhaps even find it an enjoyable amusement, but I can't see it as being more than that.
And in terms of sex before marriage, the scenario that I guess I'd be happiest with is that if I'm considering getting engaged to someone, we have sex a couple of times to see if we get along that way. But then we don't have sex again until we're actually married, which might be six months or a year later. I'd be fine with that, it wouldn't be objectionable or difficult for me, and it seems to accomplish what both groups want: "try before you buy", we've tried sex together rather than going into marriage blind, but it also makes the wedding night special, something to look forward to. But am I the only person here who would like that approach? | |
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| Mr. Fair Play Sex is essential for most of us guys
Posted: 8/30/2006 3:15:10 PM | Now there is no way I would marry someone without sex first nor would I wait three months. People with that big bag of hang-ups are scary and I would get away from them as fast as I could.
***Three months would be about the minimum amount of time I'd wait to have sex with someone, probably even longer. I like sex a lot, but am not ready to rush into it, just to have done it. With my last boyfriend I waited almost five months, counting from the time we first met face to face. We'd emailed only for about five months prior to that. If you consider wanting to wait a while (not until marriage - god no!) a 'big bag of hang-ups' than so be it. We all have out own time-tables and comfort zones.
Ninki | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 8/31/2006 7:05:52 PM | | To me sex is a very small part of any realatioship you need to have a good line of commucation with the person or the whole thing will be based on sex and nothing else...So to answer your question yes I could wait I would rather have a realatioship on a strong foundation then just based on one thing only | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/1/2006 6:42:30 AM | | You shouldn't just rush into sex....but until marriage....nope cause you become more intimate with someone if you have sex and you learn more about that person and see if there is physical chemistry there. That said I say minimum of one month of dating to have sex. Though I have told some people 2-3 months lately but more to see a reaction....I couldn't wait that long...perhaps 2 months...my longest is 6 weeks though....well unless you count my first boyfriend but that was a LONG time ago and we waited a LONG time. | |
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Sentio
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Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 1389 | |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/1/2006 7:13:21 AM | -SCORPIO-GIRL- Two answer your question..
And mind you I like to read the other post of members in different threads.
Though I have told some people 2-3 months lately but more to see a reaction....
I do have a question though....guys say that if a girl sleeps with them too fast she isn't the right one that he would take home to meet the mom.....but if she waits too long he leaves....so what is the time frame?
Communicate honestly with the person your involved with. I will respect a woman who is honest more than the woman who is trying to be something she is not.
In MY experience, a woman who acts like she is an angel who you later find out during intercourse is not, can not be trusted or respected. A woman who is open and honest about her sexuality should be respected for her honestly. You choose to be with a woman who is honest with you. You have to live with it, in other words don't judge her after she has chosen to treat you with respect by having integrity.
I have a problem with woman who claim to be 'Ms. Innocence' advertising they have had sex once and turns out to be a porn star in bed.
I love it when a woman gives me unsolicited information to support how much of a lady they are and it turns out to be false. The web we weave.
I want a 'Lady' who is well spoken, can carry herself in public and has a moral compass.
When I was 18, I dated a woman who was 32 'in her defense she didn't know my age right away. I used to bounce at a bar at 17. I remember she worked part time as a bartender and I would come pick her up towards the end of her shift. I remember one night she started dancing with a man who kept trying to touch her. I was young and started towards this man. She said to me "No, I will handle this". She taught me a valuable lesson, one of many.
A (wo)man should first respect themselves and the relationship they are in. She explained that she was involved and only her man touches her. But I see so often people do not respect themselves in this regard. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/1/2006 7:31:50 AM | | I admit to having been with 14 guys...I went through a slutty period in my life. I am not an angel. I am definetely a lady in public and the type of girl that any guy could take home to meet the parents. I have tried to tell guys that I want to wait and make sure that it is right. I have had guys in the past sleep with me and leave after even if we waited a bit...cause that is all that there were after. I do respect myself now in life. I guess I just don't know though why some guys won't even wait 2 months...why it is always about sex. I know sex and money control this world but there should be more than just sex....what happened to making love to someone? | |
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Sentio
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Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 1391 | |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/1/2006 7:45:10 AM | Use the wealth of information in this forum to help answer that question for you. I read about how many "guys" you have slept with and do not hold that against you. I respect your honestly on that subject.
To be honest you are questioning yourself about questionable men. I can not say that I wait every relationship, because it depends on the relationship.
But when you find someone my advice is to make sure you have that three point connection with them.
Mind, Body and Soul.
Ask yourself the hard questions. Does he sincerely listen to you? How often does he ask you what you are thinking? After you kiss and affectionately touch one another, does his interest in you spiritually and mentally remain or is he still concerned with "rounding to home base"
I keep seeing woman and men contradict themselves in these forums about what they truly want. You as a woman have beautiful things to add to a relationship.
The questions is do you see that? Sex is not a tool to get a man or woman to like you, but as you said a method of creating love.
I always look at a potential mate before sleeping with them like this... We have had sex X times, would this person still stimulate my intellect, communicate and have the same moral goals I have? | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/1/2006 8:34:03 AM | I have thought about this one some more.
And just want to add this.
In the title the OP has written "If you met the right woman" ....if she is the right one.
Why are you waiting.
If you are sure she is the right one, then at the exact second you two come to that realization, i hope you stop whatever else you are doing and go make love!
It is such an important part of a relationship, that in my eyes waiting is just weird. | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/1/2006 9:29:34 PM | I did meet one woman once where I felt that. I was so smitten with her that waiting for her would be a no brainer. "For you? If I could have you forever I'd wait for you no problem." It would be like if putting a hundred dollars in the bank now would guarentee me a million in one year who wouldn't? | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/1/2006 10:48:33 PM | I think we should ask ourselfs why we are having sex...1. is it to gain a stronger mutual connection with someone? 2. Is it to feel loved and cared for? 3. Something to do because there is nothing on T.V.?
I personally do not feel that it is healthy to just jump into bed with anyone quickly. That being said I'm not preaching no sex before marriage (although that would be nice, possibly).
Sex is better with a foundation of friendship, trust and respect.....the build up is flippin' great as well.....
just my 2 cents worth... | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/2/2006 1:35:32 PM | With all the divorce going on and the cheating happening with married couples and livins there really isnt a meaning to sex other than have fun and enjoy it while you can. people themselves have made sex as cheap as it is these days. the court systems stealing from one another,adultery. I mean come on people, sex is dwindling down to just that "sex". if you make love to a woman she just stole everything you ever owned in your life and your bank account too. if we arent gettin it on in less than a week, than she really isnt interested, NEXT   now add that to your mix LOLOL | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/2/2006 2:05:35 PM | | wow, I dont remember you name or care to (guy who responded on here) but he said "I wanna know if were compatable "sexually" before we get married" So you would dump her if she was'nt "good" wow your a really great guy I want some of that. NOt to mention she would feel "used" and discarded. Nah I'm definetly waiting. And tha great guy that gets to be my first will be so honored I wasnt with other guys!! | |
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| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/2/2006 6:12:06 PM | Jules, WOW?? im not bitter at all. look at the statistics about divorce and all the fighting with it and who ends up with more for less. its all a sex game. if a woman screws a man and then the relationship ends, the man gets ripped blind, see it all the time, listen to the news and read the papers,, or better yet spend a day reading divorce papers at your local court house. I could take this right into a new forum, but i wont. dont play innocent, sounds like your one of them women LOL I still say if it hasnt happened in a week move on to the next. | |
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