|
|
|
|
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/27/2006 9:21:08 AM | No time to wait at my age... lol
But even when I was younger I would not have waited that long.
Sex is sex after-all and certainly not the thing that guarantee's a lasting relationship.
Respect & communication is what really makes the difference and sex is like the frosting on the cake.
Would I have waited if told on a first date? Of course, it's a womans prerogative to change her mind and my job to help her do so! lol | |
|
| |
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/27/2006 11:20:50 AM |
You can't tell if you're even sexually compatable with your new love if you've never crossed that threshold with her. So, it makes little sense to abstain for a year or two, spend countless thousands of dollars on a wedding/honeymoon, etc, buy a house w/2.5 car garage, and then 3 years later, you find the relationship isn't working, for whatever reason that may unfold. If cupcake decides, after three years, that she's no longer interested in you, guess what? You're gone, and the law then becomes her servant to assure her of her piece of mind. . If children are involved, she gets the house and kids, and you get an invoice for the next 18-20 years. And in some cases, you still get to pay for the house, not to mention pay the bills. All this because you were sold on the notion that your cupcake (and sex with cupcake) was going to be the best thing since sliced bread.
I agree with what you are saying here somewhat. Its like taking a car for a test drive. No one wants to end up driving a lemon which is going to need some serious maintenance later on! Thats the best analogy I can think of! But seriously though what i said was under the quandra that you have actually found the RIGHT woman, because personally I dont think I have met anyone like that yet (plenty of right nows...lol) Now that I think back I dont think I have really ever been in a relationship that didn't involve sex. I think what one needs to do is really look to communicating with their partner if someone in a relationship wants to wait to be intimate. I never said there was anything wrong with waiting, though, and I still dont. But what I would be concerned about is the motivation my partner has for which she is saving herself for marriage. One other thing Id like to add; I dont think Ive ever heard of this but 'born again' virgins dont fly with me. (Like if she had a really stupid reason to wait like uncomfortable with the whole act because of a previous lover, etc, then I would start to question how much she is actually attracted to me) | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/27/2006 11:32:09 AM | | I think if a man really cares and respects you then he would most likely to be willing to wait until marriage if those are your wishes, however, I believe that in a relationship, besides respecting one another and having great communication, there also needs to be a mutual understanding of each other's needs. Don't get me wrong, I completely respect your moral philosophy, but I strongly believe that when you truly care for someone there shouldn't be any boundaries on how you give yourself to one another. | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/27/2006 12:13:05 PM | I wouldn't marry a woman if we didn't have sexual compatibility. No sex isn't the most important marriage criteria, but it ranks highly, along with being in love, having a similar outlook on important life issues, etc. For me, if I got married to a lady without knowing if we had sexual compatibility or not, not having it would be a definite issue during the marriage. I honestly would not want to be married to a woman without knowing about this issue beforehand. Having sex before marriage isn't a case of "test driving a car", or "getting the milk without paying for the cow", it's a case of wishing to avoid a potentially costly error in judgment that would involve legal participation of lawyers to rectify.
The question is "guys if you met the right woman...", and I say that I wouldn't know for sure that she is the right woman if a major issue like sexual compatibility isn't explored before marriage. | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/27/2006 1:01:23 PM |
however, I believe that in a relationship, besides respecting one another and having great communication, there also needs to be a mutual understanding of each other's needs
Relationships do require communication and respect. However, in the framework of relationships, mutual understanding, regarding anothers needs, also involves sexual intimacy, sex drives, and every imaginable difference 2 people can have in relationships. Sex, the art of, and the pursuit of, are all part of our chemical makeup, which you cannot know about a person, save through experience with said person. Everything else is speculation. Talk is cheap. Mutual understanding of others needs, in relationships, includes, but is not limited to, sex. To ascertain someones needs in such a way, they must have experienced the act for which the need is assessed.
I think if a man really cares and respects you then he would most likely to be willing to wait until marriage if those are your wishes
Because someone wouldn't wait for sex until marriage, shows no lack of respect for you. It shows an unwillingness to be sold the idea that, if I do wait til marriage, you'll respect me more. It furthermore assumes that you will satisfy all of my sexual needs, of which one would have no clue, until they embark into such realms, together. Respecting those who concur with your belief system works fine, so long as you're both willing to live with your own assumptions that you will forever live in eternal sexual bliss. You're assuming that you're sexually compatable, before actually knowing so. "Knowing" this ahead of the actual experience IS putting the cart before the horse. You can't understand or know that person in such an intimate way, until you've actually had time to explore their sexual interest, together.
I strongly believe that when you truly care for someone there shouldn't be any boundaries on how you give yourself to one another
SO, if there are no boundaries on how you would give of yourself, why would your exception be that we must first wait until marriage in order to have sex? This is not a personally defined boundary? | |
|
| |
| |
j5rush
|
Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 1510 | |
| |
| |
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 9/28/2006 5:20:39 PM | Hey, all:
I am sorry, but this is a stupid question--part of being the right woman--or the right man--is the sexual compatibility and joy you give each other. It is part of the whole package.
This is not the 19th Century. Arranged marriages and virgin brides are so archaic, such moronic anachronisms, this question just makes me shake my head. Some hypotheticals are just plain stupid.
David
Messages done with sustainable energy, with Wind and Sun! | |
|
| |
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/1/2006 2:52:53 PM | hey all. some interesting viewpoints but i think many of you are missing the whole point of marriage being sacred. call me old fashioned if you will but i'm waiting.
believe me, very few women are NOT good in bed. and even those who have hangups can learn to overcome them with sensitive and genuine love for her. a woman will respond to her man in the way that he projects his love for her. now, what if the guy doesnt know what he's doing? well, won';t all that be discussed beforehand>?
for those of you who are concerned with what she will or won't do to you...then i imagine you dont know how to communicate well. what's wrong with asking the questions?
and who's to know just how great YOU are? maybe the ladies are the ones who should have the real concern.
i believe that if a couple wants to have their marriage blessed, they'll simply wait. | |
|
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/1/2006 3:12:00 PM | wow to reverie 79. your view is refreshing. you had me totally captivated from start to end. i happen to be one of the very few men who has already decided for myself that i'm waiting until i marry. my reasons are simple...first, i believe that my waiting will cause God's approval and hence she and i will be totally blessed. secondly, i want to demonstrate to my future wife that i loved her before i even knew her and as a result of that, that i was monogamous the whole time while waiting to meet her.
i can understand how ppl can be so frivolous with sex ... both men and women...but when it comes right down to it, one must consider all of the past broken relationships they had in that were unable to be held together even tho they had been having sex. so, sex, is not the do all end all to the ultimate success of a relationship. in fact, it can complicate it (even tho the sex was great). what about the other things, such as: communication, respect, accountability, understanding, patience, etc? if you dont possess these qualities in the relatioinship, nothing will work anyhow.
if two ppl love each other, is it only for a moment or is it with the intention of forever? if it isnt for forever, then why bother to start it ? it will only equate to lots of heartache eventually anyhow. why even go there?
i personally hold all of the above, including having great sex, equally important to each other...and if the romance is worth pursuing, its worth waiting for. | |
|
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/1/2006 3:38:48 PM | i'm a woman & i couldn't wait... mainly because i think that sex is such an important, integral part of an intimate relationship... and i'd be afraid of after waiting for so long that the chemistry & "heat" wouldn't be there... and that would lead to a whole lotta resentment -- atleast from my perspective...
then again... there are other things/ways to keep eachother sexually preoccupied... or are you ruling that stuff out too?
g | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/1/2006 4:08:05 PM | believe me, very few women are NOT good in bed
False. Since imagination and passion, amongst other qualities, are vitally important to bring to any memorable sexual encounter-- whether it's a one-night stand or in an LTR-- and since many, perhaps most, lack those qualities, sex suffers. Passion permeates every area of living. If you don't love life-- and most people, to be blunt, are juiceless in their lives-- then it naturally follows that they'll be joyless in the bedroom as well, while engaged in the one activity where it's the hardest to cover up a disinterest in life.
and even those who have hangups can learn to overcome them with sensitive and genuine love for her. a woman will respond to her man in the way that he projects his love for her.
Even more false. I know, through experience, that some women (and so, by common sense, men also) have had troubled pasts, or are so ingrained in mistrust/hatred/fear of the opposite sex, that a patient and understanding approach does absolutely nothing to help the situation. If one is fucked up, in and out of the bedroom, then it's up to that individual to get serious help. No one can make anybody else happy who's not otherwise happy in themselves.
now, what if the guy doesnt know what he's doing?
Valid point. Most people focus on the shortcomings (ha) of others. It could be they don't realize their own lack of proficiency.
well, won';t all that be discussed beforehand>?
This has been dealt with in many long, previous posts.
The short of it (ha) is that people often lie, omit, misrepresent or self-delude in order to work a sexual situation around to their own benefit. Talking-- "communicating"-- without putting all the big words to the test as soon as possible, is courting disaster and heartache.
for those of you who are concerned with what she will or won't do to you...then i imagine you dont know how to communicate well. what's wrong with asking the questions?
See above. A "lover" in a sexless courtship will often promise or admit to likes and dislikes, certain sexual experiences, frequencies, attitudes, in order to keep the cooing moon-eyed hand-holding going right up to that "perfect" wedding day. This has little to do with reality, and everything to do with rude awakenings when actual sex is undergone.
and who's to know just how great YOU are? maybe the ladies are the ones who should have the real concern
Exactly. It's not a one-sided question. Get in bed soon, and see what develops (or doesn't). | |
|
moneyq
|
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 1522 | |
| |
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/5/2006 10:36:02 AM |
hey all. some interesting viewpoints but i think many of you are missing the whole point of marriage being sacred. call me old fashioned if you will but i'm waiting. - go_mangoman_go
Why are we missing the whole point of marriage being sacred? Does marriage being sacred require two virgins in the marriage bed?
You're not particularly old-fashioned, because there were people back in the good-old days who did it before the wedding day, too. It just wasn't talked about.
believe me, very few women are NOT good in bed. and even those who have hangups can learn to overcome them with sensitive and genuine love for her. a woman will respond to her man in the way that he projects his love for her. now, what if the guy doesnt know what he's doing? well, won';t all that be discussed beforehand>? - go_mangoman_go
Ahahahahahahaha!!!!
I just had to wipe away a tear, just now.
You're wrong on three counts in this paragraph. Here is the truth:
1. Some women are awful in bed.
2. Some women have "hangups" and no, they can't learn to overcome them, because they don't WANT to.
3. Discussion does not generally reveal the sort of "hangups" that come later.
I think it is incredibly presumptuous for you to say that a man can push a woman into doing what he wants with enough emotional wheedling, and manipulation.
It is entirely possible the guy doesn't know what he's doing. Even though this thread was aimed at the opinions of men, if you take a stroll back through the thread, you'll notice that a lot of women want to know that they are sexually compatible with their mates, as well.
for those of you who are concerned with what she will or won't do to you...then i imagine you dont know how to communicate well. what's wrong with asking the questions? - go_mangoman_go
I know how to communicate just fine, thanks for asking. And it's broader than "what she will or won't do to you." It's deeper than that, my friend. But you don't seem to think very deeply, so I'm not surprised that you encapsulize what people who disagree with you think in such a shallow manner.
There is nothing wrong with asking questions.
I ask questions. I want to know answers. But there is a great disparity between what people say, and what people do, in this area. Women can SAY that they are into all kinds of things. And if they want you, and want to be with you, they may even mean it. But saying and doing are two different things.
and who's to know just how great YOU are? maybe the ladies are the ones who should have the real concern. - go_mangoman_go
That is an entirely valid question. I hope she actually wants to know. I'm a competent lover, but chemistry being the strange thing that it is, sometimes I don't click with someone, or she doesn't click with me, or we don't click with each other.
i believe that if a couple wants to have their marriage blessed, they'll simply wait. - go_mangoman_go
Been there, done that. It didn't work.
i happen to be one of the very few men who has already decided for myself that i'm waiting until i marry. my reasons are simple...first, i believe that my waiting will cause God's approval and hence she and i will be totally blessed. secondly, i want to demonstrate to my future wife that i loved her before i even knew her and as a result of that, that i was monogamous the whole time while waiting to meet her. - go_mangoman_go
Okay, so it sounds like we can add you to the long list of people who haven't actually seen this litle Utopia through to completion.
You want God's approval, and you believe that is what God wants. Fine. I'm not going to criticize that. As your beliefs may be, then live according to your principles.
But I've got bad news for you. I came from a religious community that prized waiting until marriage. I've known dozens of couples personally who did it. And it's not the be-all and end-all for marital bliss that you think it is. It can actually lead to a lot of problems that you aren't apparently aware of.
For myself? I'm not sorry my redhead had sex before she met me. She discovered a lot of things about herself, and came into our relationship knowledgeable about herself, and what she wanted. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm glad her life wasn't a sexual desert before she met me.
i can understand how ppl can be so frivolous with sex ... both men and women...but when it comes right down to it, one must consider all of the past broken relationships they had in that were unable to be held together even tho they had been having sex. so, sex, is not the do all end all to the ultimate success of a relationship. in fact, it can complicate it (even tho the sex was great). what about the other things, such as: communication, respect, accountability, understanding, patience, etc? if you dont possess these qualities in the relatioinship, nothing will work anyhow. - go_mangoman_go
Um, Sparky, I hate to break it to you, but you're a 49-year old divorced man. You have a past of broken relationships which you were unable to hold together, yourself. Maybe the sex was good. Maybe it wasn't so good. But you're in the same boat with the rest of us. No better, no worse.
Nobody here has ever claimed that good sex is the only thing that holds a relationship together, nor the only thing, nor even the most important thing.
But, oddly, it is the only thing that some folks expect you to enter into a marriage sight unseen, package unopened, completely unknown.
if two ppl love each other, is it only for a moment or is it with the intention of forever? if it isnt for forever, then why bother to start it ? it will only equate to lots of heartache eventually anyhow. why even go there? - go_mangoman_go
That could be said of love in any context, my friend. It's a risk. But what sort of risk are you taking, and what sorts of risks are you willing to take?
For myself, I will never again enter into a relationship that serious with no foreknowledge whatsoever of whether or not my partner and I are sexually compatible.
i personally hold all of the above, including having great sex, equally important to each other...and if the romance is worth pursuing, its worth waiting for. - go_mangoman_go
Baloney. A relationship is work, my friend. It's not all sunlight and roses and smooshy kisses. You don't continue through a relationship because of romance, because romance - like sex - will wax and wane with the seasons. You will stay in a relationship because you made a commitment, and because the relationship is worth it. You can look back on your life, and say, "Yes, that was worth it. All the work, all the effort, all the pain, all the toil - it was all worth it. I don't regret a thing."
Now, sex will be part of the work. Compatibility does not guarantee extended happiness. But it's a start.
You go your way, though, and I'll go mine. | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/5/2006 12:25:03 PM | I will be blunt honest. HELL NO!!!
I want to sample what I might be in for the long term.
If she is a faithful loyal true woman who will also be my fantastic lover...Yeah the partake in the whole gamut, the whole 10 yards, be able to do oral/vaginal/anal sex. Then I will have someone I will never ever stray from. In fact I would be thinking of her while we are apart.
If the person is nit picky and say, OH I DON'T DO THAT. Then it will be ....nice to have met you & let us part company..and leave it like that.
I want the REAL DEAL...THE SURE THING!!!!!!!!!!!
I have no need whatsoever for a complete and total waste of my time.
If I am going to share all I have, then she must be my total everything: best friend, lover confidante, adviser, SVENGALI, partner in crime..ie my partner in investing, and even keeper of all my secrets (perhaps my confessor..if there is anthing to confess about).
She must be mine completely so that I can be hers completely
When a person plans on being my life partner, there must be NO conditions.
She must love me unconditionally so that I will love her unconditionally. | |
|
|
| Page 61 of 123
|
47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87 |
|
Home
login 
