|
|
|
|
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/5/2006 10:03:14 PM | Hmmmm, if the question was... " Ladies!!! If you met the right man, could you wait for the sex until he marries you?" My answer would be, highly unlikely! To me, it would seem foolish to wait until the wedding night to find out if we were compatible in the physical department. It would be taking a big risk. Now that I have asked myself the question from my own perspective, I don't really see how any guy would be willing to wait for the sex until marriage UNLESS he was very unattracted to this partner. Let's face it, when a guy likes a girl and girl likes a guy, they want to become intimate.
But why must it be that so many are stuck at one extreme or the other?
Why is it that so many either want to wait for marriage to have sex and then the others want to hop in the sack within one month of knowing each other? Between these two extremes there is sanity. Sex is enjoyable and rewarding for two people that are deeply in love and are compatible. Period. If your going to wait for marriage, then I would say cross your fingers! It did work out fine for my grandmothers. But it did not work for one of my aunts. She was a virgin when she married and had no clue what she liked in the phsyical romance department. It blew up into a big problem. She had to divorce over sexual incompatibility. I have learned from her mistake. Something that seems somewhat trivial , can turn out to turn your whole world upside down. So my question to you would be, "why on earth would you want to wait that long to express your love physically for the other person"? The bible? The bible doesn't forbid premarital sex, it forbids sexual immorality. Low sex drive perhaps? I suppose that may do it.Are you just grossed out by sex for psychological reasons? I'm just curious. Why??? | |
|
| |
Rador
|
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 1528 | |
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/12/2006 2:23:33 PM | You have to open the box and try them on first, before deciding whether or not to buy them.
I don't. If chemistry is there, the mechanics will eventually be sorted out. As I prefer to start my relationships on a friendship level and build on that, the sexuality will make itself known in one way or another but that doesn't mean I need to make sure it fits. If we 'fit' in every other important way, I can hold off on the sex.
If he can't/won't, well, then he's showing me we DON'T 'fit' in every other important way. | |
|
eman07
|
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 1530 | |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/12/2006 3:10:00 PM | just because you have chemistry doesnt mean you will have chemisty in the bedroom. IM not saying jump in to bed on the first date, but sex is part of a relationship, and if you think just because you have "chemistry" the sex will take care of itself, then your in for a long relationship. So what if i said, "im not asking you to marry me until i find out that your not a golddigger"...since you using your vagina as a weapon, then i will use money as a weapon, wonder how many women would agree with that.....
If i decide that i will not be with you cause i dont want to wait, then yes, we are not meant to be together, you are excatly right, BUT, it doesnt make me any less of a person than YOU just because i dont believe inthe same belief system that you do......
im telling you, women who use the "im not gonna have sex until we are married".....uh let me inform you of something, the world doesnt revolve around your vagina, and although there are some guys in here saying the right things with the "if i like her i will wait"....BULL S HIT....dont kid yourself, you will be hard pressed to find a guy that will actually wait..... | |
|
| |
eman07
|
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 1532 | |
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/12/2006 3:25:20 PM | | To answer the question in the opening post : Yup. If my choices are ten minutes of fun OR forty years of happiness with somebody I love...well, let's just say that I know a couple of ladies named Handjolina and Palmela. I'll take the forty years of happiness and I don't need a "test run" if it's not on the table (lol...the double entendres are fun too !) Hey, who doesn't like sex right ? And who would trade a long, happy marriage for an orgasm ? | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/12/2006 3:32:15 PM | and if you think just because you have "chemistry" the sex will take care of itself, then your in for a long relationship.
... and this is bad WHY?
I don't want to sleep with someone before we are committed (ideally, married). This is my value system, and it's why in my profile I say I never begin on a romantic level. I want the time to know him, yes, a LONG time! If he's going to be a possible husband, why should I settle for less? I don't want someone who expects to have sex in order to determine compatibility.
Also, by 'chemistry' (perhaps I should have been more blunt), I MEAN in the bedroom. The rest of it has to be right, though, or I don't care HOW hot'n'sizzly we are.
I'm a Christian and this is part of my decision to wait. You don't have to agree with me, but there's no need to correct me on it.
since you using your vagina as a weapon, then i will use money as a weapon, wonder how many women would agree with that.....
Now THAT is a truly groundless, offensive thing to say. You don't know me as a person, or my character at all. I don't use my anatomy to manipulate anybody, I just don't want to sleep with a man if he doesn't love me enough to make a life with me. I also would never choose a man who would try to manipulate me by withholding money. Heck, if he asked me to sign a prenup, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I don't need games.
it doesnt make me any less of a person than YOU just because i dont believe inthe same belief system that you do......
I never said it did. Just because we don't agree does not make either of us wrong; we would just not be compatible. It's really not that complicated. For that matter, do you imagine I'm a bad person because this is how I feel?
im telling you, women who use the "im not gonna have sex until we are married".....uh let me inform you of something, the world doesnt revolve around your vagina, and although there are some guys in here saying the right things with the "if i like her i will wait"....BULL S HIT....dont kid yourself, you will be hard pressed to find a guy that will actually wait.....
I'd rather be alone than compromise this choice I've made. Sure I get lonely. Yes, I get aroused, and I wish I could just grab the nearest young stud and go for it with no regrets, but I can decide to wait for what - and who - is right for me... and if he is right for me, he will not pressure me.
You're off-base to assume this is some kind of control issue for me. It's mainly due to past tragedies and the promise to a certain individual that I would conduct myself in a way that I feel shows the most respect. Your comments to me were gross and rude, and totally uninformed & insensitive. | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/12/2006 4:09:10 PM | Me thinks there should be a special classification for Christian Chemistry.
That standard for chemistry is subject to a license of marriage, a financially castrating, obligatory, and legally binding contract that says "you gotta sign here to enter my vagina". Were men not solely subject to the piptfalls of such, I'd say fine and well, let's sign away. But, unfortunately, men are the bearers of that burden, by far, over women. Like molonel, my background is from a fundamental Christian upbringing, so it goes against my grain to make such statements, but as Iv'e evolved and become educated in life, I've come to see how vexed that proposal really is. In that scenario, I'm betting the ranch, the whole lower forty, and half of my earnings, for upwards of 18 years, on the notion that you're not going to use sex as a tool, and that you're going to satisfy my needs once we cross that threshold. You may very well satisfy those needs, but it's a gamble, and a big one at that. The only surefire way to know is if there were a guarantee that we'll be sexually compatable, but there isn't, and I've worked too long and too hard to risk losing everything I've ever earned just to find out.
This is, of course, given that all other aspects of the relationship are well founded and there is some security in knowing we're "otherwise" compatable.
I'd be prepared to wait until there was some measure of assurance that all other aspects of the relationship are sound before going into the sexual realm, say 6 mos or better, in order to make sure we're otherwise ready to make that step together. But to wait until after signing my life away, in order to find out if cupcake is, indeed, as good as she says she is, is a gamble I'm not willing to take. Talk is cheap.
Were it not for my experience that men often wind up in the poor house, and strewn across the yard (figuratively speaking) after a divorce, I wouldn't be able to make that claim. But I have, and the majority of times men get the short end of the straw after divorce. If children are in the equation, they may (and often do) have their children turned against them, or worse, kept from them, as children are often used as pawns in divorces. | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/12/2006 4:19:17 PM | That standard for chemistry is subject to a license of marriage, a financially castrating, obligatory, and legally binding contract that says "you gotta sign here to enter my vagina".
If you'd read my post, you would see this:
I don't want to sleep with someone before we are committed (ideally, married).
I'm not sure I won't make love prior to the wedding night. It depends on the person, circumstances and mutual readiness, but the commitment is mandatory.
If I were to define "Christian chemistry", all I'd say is that two believers in Jesus Christ have formed a long-term, ideally marriage-bound partnership, and if they both want to wait, there's nothing to criticize. If one of them can't, or isn't prepared to go the distance, that person has the prerogative to end the relationship.
Were it not for my experience that men often wind up in the poor house, and strewn across the yard (figuratively speaking) after a divorce, I wouldn't be able to make that claim. But I have, and the majority of times men get the short end of the straw after divorce. If children are in the equation, they may (and often do) have their children turned against them, or worse, kept from them, as children are often used as pawns in divorces.
I'm sorry about such experiences. I am, however, not responsible for them by mere fact of being female, so I'd appreciate not being bashed for them.
I was married (about 17 years ago, for only 1.5 years), and I never asked for a penny, even though, on welfare, I certainly was pressured to do so by my workers, and I could have chosen to pursue spousal support. I refused, because even if he and I couldn't make it work, it was hard enough on him without being cost his earnings as well.
Rador ~
I could and would stick around. If I really liked her and thought there was something there I would wait but thats just the way I am. I am the "nice guy".
Thank you for that. I have not lost faith in such gentlemen as yourself. Please stay as you are; it's rare and precious.
| |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/12/2006 4:51:21 PM | Kwerki, You aren't the only person stating your beliefs of Christian standards, so I would not (if I were you) consider my comments directed at you, or to anyone, in particular. If, by chance I'm talking to you, I'll make that clear.
I'm sorry about such experiences. I am, however, not responsible for them by mere fact of being female, so I'd appreciate not being bashed for them. (kwerki)
I dont' recall making you responsible, simply for being female. Further to this, it's the system that's biased against men who make this possible, and it isn't women, per se, who are responsible, so much as the system that supports the divorce machinery that is in place.
Rador ~ I could and would stick around. If I really liked her and thought there was something there I would wait but thats just the way I am. I am the "nice guy". (rador) Thank you for that. I have not lost faith in such gentlemen as yourself. Please stay as you are; it's rare and precious.
Didn't know I wasn't a gentleman. Hmmmpphh. Funny that. Are you suggesting only rare and precious gentlemen share your views?  | |
|
| |
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/12/2006 7:15:05 PM | | wait till.....when??? lol! lol! lol! your killing me! lol! would you buy a new car without giving it a test ride.... only to find out it has no motor??? and the top does not come down! i don't think so! as for the first date question??? well i would say i am 37yrs old and so are you and if your holding out till marriage....i say call when your married and i'll come over when your hubby is gone to work!!!lol! | |
|
Rador
|
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 1541 | |
| |
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/12/2006 8:21:09 PM | | you asked me the questions????? i answered and you don't like what you hear....too bad...go ahead and hide your head in the sand....lol! i mean the cat box! cause it would be a cold day in hell when you'll find a man that would put up with all that bible thumping your doing!!!lol! and for the record.....all past and future wars are based on religon....religious nuts and wacko's....god bless!!! | |
|
| |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/12/2006 8:32:52 PM | | Igot married for the first time in 1997, I dated my ex for 9 months before we were married and i didn't see her naked until the honey moon, which never made any difference, she she ennded up chaeting on me, I would never do it again, people are disilusioned to be that if you wait til your married there will be some spcecial benefit to the marriage, it will be blassed and unique, if your marriage is special, it won't be because you tortured yourself in an attempt to be spiritual, Alex | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/12/2006 8:33:36 PM | SEX.......noun: activities associated with sexual intercourse .....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex is so easy to find...But Making Love is almost extinct.......
I can't say I don't like sex because I would be lying.....I like to make Love and have all the feelings that comes along with the orgasm....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ORGASM
American Heritage® Dictionary: Description of orgasm
NOUN: 1. The peak of sexual excitement, characterized by strong feelings of pleasure and by a series of involuntary contractions of the muscles of the genitals, usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen by the male. Also called climax...........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FEELINGS THAT COME BEFORE AND AFTER MAKING LOVE........SO THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION IS YES!!! THIS IS WORTH WAITING FOR......I HAVE WAITED ABOUT 2 YEARS NOW AND I CAN RESPECT MY MORALS AND WAIT FOR MY WIFE........ | |
|
| |
eman07
|
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 1548 | |
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/13/2006 4:22:30 AM | so im inconsiderate if i dont wait for you?......interesting concept....
anyway, back to a few points.....
i have a simple stand that sex IS part of a relationship, no, its not everything, but its one of the main compenents that make it what it is.....
1. trust
2. communication
3. sex
If one of those is missing in ANY relationship it will not survive. I dont hold it against anybody that wants to wait to have sex until marriage, but i just wont be part of it, thats all. It doesnt make me less "considerate", it just makes me different from you.
i noticed the word "respect" going around. Again, its not that im disrespecting you cause i wont wait, its just i have a different beleif system than you. It doesnt make me any less of a man, it doesnt make you any better than me. | |
|
| GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 10/13/2006 10:23:33 AM | so im inconsiderate if i dont wait for you?......interesting concept....
that particular word was aimed at a specific poster because he used this forum to more or less flame me and I had to deal with it. Sorry, it was not directed at every guy.
If one of those is missing in ANY relationship it will not survive. I dont hold it against anybody that wants to wait to have sex until marriage, but i just wont be part of it, thats all. It doesnt make me less "considerate", it just makes me different from you.
i noticed the word "respect" going around. Again, its not that im disrespecting you cause i wont wait, its just i have a different beleif system than you. It doesnt make me any less of a man, it doesnt make you any better than me.
I never said it makes me better. You're correct: we are just different, and I obviously wouldn't be dating you in the first place because your values and mine are incompatible. I would certainly respect that you're looking for a relationship other than what I want. It doesn't make me superior, or you less 'considerate'. However, there are some guys who HAVE been scornful and impatient, so I broke it off, and they couldn't accept where I was at. You're not like this, so don't take what I said to be about you, ok? I mean, if I have an apple and you were to approach me saying "hey, where'd you get that apple?" .. I point to someone who's giving them away, but the sign is on a church, and you decide "no, I don't like apples". ... that's fine, but don't get mad at me or think it means I believe I'm better because I got one.
 | |
|
| |
|
| Page 62 of 123
|
48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88 |
|
Home
login 
