| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/3/2007 4:01:08 AM | Yes, tame Tigress, we DO expect that things should move UP from there, not down or sidewards. It's back to the 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' theory. Men and women just DON'T think alike on this subject. In our gut feelings, women are mating and guys have a conquest.
Sigh. | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/3/2007 4:41:13 AM | | It's a definite no-no for me, but everyone is different according to what kind of relationship they are looking for. Even if the guy really turned me on and I just wanted to attack him, I'd practice restraint--I mean, what would you have to look forward to on the next date?(if there is one at all!) :) | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/3/2007 8:59:19 AM | dude you and i know that is a crock we are guys thats all we think about now c'mon quit lying to yourself and everybody else LMAO  | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/3/2007 9:11:15 AM | ^^
most women also think about sex a lot, just don't admit it as openly..
(got to maintain the 'ladylike' facade..) | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/3/2007 9:32:30 AM | Im sitting reading this wondering what some of you are taking and where I can get some,
I’ll say I have never had sex on the first date but I would be lying,
how about I say the relationship never lasted if we have sex on first date well that’s a lie to the have lasted more or less as long as every other relationship (not very blinking long)
This is interesting though
Some of the blokes are trying the tact of saying what they believe the other wants to hear!
You have a few comments that females want sex as much as men
you have one or 2 blokes slamming blokes for lying about what there are after but there doing the same thing trying to make contact by saying the opposite to extremes:
Then you have some of the females telling blokes that we can’t respect them or what we will think of them if they had sex on a first date and other females again taking the opposite stands
What’s interesting about this?
A bloke would not really think about does a women do this a lot one way or the other he will think he the luckiest son of a bit*h ever but the decision weather she is a slut or whatever was already made or just won’t be consider
You females need to remember as bloke we separated sex and relationships, I was going to say sex and love but I don’t think that’s really true
and blokes admit it we have no idea how females think every time we think we have a handle on them they change we try to predict there action from our point of view (I would add the men are from and women are from bit but in truth I think these book are as much the problem as our predefined roles that no longer existed)
Sex on a first date this is the question the only thing I can agree with completely as I said before is don’t set a time scale! females are always on about spontaneity in relationship well if anything should be spontaneous this is it, if it feel right to not have sex or you have some doubt about you possible partner then just say NO! If it feels right to have one drink then take him/her back to your place then GREAT end of story | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/3/2007 9:37:04 AM | I'm noticing that this topic was posted nearly a year and a half ago and I wonder whether the original poster has even stopped back in to read it lately.
If she does stop by (welcome back!) then to her I would say sex on a first date depends on how well you know your date and how well you know yourself. It's like knowing that cheap chocolate gives you a stomachache: are you ready to endure the pain that follows for the pleasure the chocolate might give you? Or are you willing to shop around for the best-quality chocolate out there?
I think people tend to know themselves better as they get older. When I was a teenager or in my early twenties I wasn't able to handle first-date sex without being powerfully affected by it (not that the situation arose too often, mind you) -- sometimes painfully affected. I deal with things a little better now.
I'm sorry to see both genders making so many generalizations on this thread, though I suppose that's inevitable given the touchy topic. I have read all the opinions here and I have to say first of all that I'm about as different from some of the men who've spoken up as I am from some of the women. In other words, I don't see this as a gender-specific topic. Some guys are going to devalue women who sleep with them too soon and others aren't. Some women are going to have their rules of thumb about waiting until the third date or marriage or whatever and others are just going to go for it if the moment feels right. Everyone is going to claim they can back up their beliefs with evidence and/or hard-won experience and all viewpoints will therefore have validity... and all will be equally worthless.
The bottom line is: Is the chocolate worth the stomachache? | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/4/2007 2:55:42 PM | Alexandria Gal....
It's the "variety" that keeps a guy feeling young and vital...
No, my wife doesn't want the same freedom that I do..... | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/4/2007 4:18:43 PM | | hell yeah, i say yes , too many people want to wait for months before having sex ,what is up with that | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/4/2007 5:45:42 PM | I guess it all depends on how soon you want to know what kind of person he really is.
If you' d rather not get emotionally attached before finding out he's a jerk, then sleep with him and see if he calls you back. If you'd rather wait, until you know him better, and then sleep with him, then if he sticks around, he may be decent. | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/4/2007 6:29:31 PM |
It's the "variety" that keeps a guy feeling young and vital...
I give you credit if you have your wife buying this line of shit, that is if she knows what you're doing.
You're married. You should be feeling young and vital at home, especially since you are lucky to be with someone with whom the sex is still great after so many years.
If you can't manage that, your wife's still young. She can meet someone new who knows the meaning of fidelity and has a clue how to treat a woman. She sounds like a treasure, and I'm sure she could find a guy who would treat her right.
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/4/2007 11:16:10 PM | | having sex on a first date should be a low priority .. getting to know each other and having fun should be the top priority .. a first date is enough of a stress factor for some and including sex in there adds to it .. if the chemistry is right and both parties are relaxed then yeah sex might be the end result .. | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/5/2007 7:11:05 AM |
The quickest way to get to know some one is to see them naked.
lets me think, what is it to know someone. This is not it. Getting to actually know someone can take years. You know what they look like but seeing someone naked doesnt tells you so little about the person.
My experience is that I dont take the person serriously if we have sex on the first date. But there have been occasions that the other person put in an effort to get to know me. I really hate to say this, but your really not going to start knowing til the next morning. | |
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g54cs
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Joined: 4/12/2007
Msg: 89 | |
| know someone b4
Posted: 5/5/2007 10:10:21 AM | | ditto on that comment ... i've had sex on a first date and never want to feel that cheap again (it took 2) ... My advice is when the special someone does come along, entertain each other, get to know each other, then when you Do make love, you'll know it's right. best of luck to all, and don't forget to smile .. someone's looking for you and visa versa ... | |
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| know someone b4
Posted: 5/5/2007 11:27:34 AM | I think that having sex on the first date sends the wrong message out both of you. It either makes you question (that if you'll have sex with each other on the first date) how many other people are you either or you having sex with on the first meeting. It's called being easy..
It could also make each other wonder how needy the other is for sex. If you can't even hold back for a few long dates to see what you're both about, how easy is it going to be to hold over your head on a relationship. | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/5/2007 3:01:46 PM | | Sex is sex and relationships are relationships.....to think one things governs another is a bit off.......if you can be respectful to eachother I think that's what matters and if you can do it after having sex with eachother shows a higher maturity level but maybe the other person has different expectations after it so you gotta talk it out. | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/5/2007 3:31:05 PM | What ever happened to passion? Doesn't anyone on this site want to meet someone that makes them feel helpless to be around? If I have a great date and we both want more, would it be so damning if somehow we ended up kissing passionately which could/should/would end up in some crazy passionate, "just can't f*ckin' help ourselves" animal SEX... Am I the only one this has ever happened to? Am I supposed to somehow not want to see this person again the next day because they had that effect on me and I on her?
Do I demand sex on the first date? No. Do I recommend it? No. If it happens because it just must, will I bag the babe? I hardly freakin' think so...
OMO
Chaz | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/5/2007 3:46:54 PM | | Aww TATGUY that is so sweet and yet so sad.... Your right, sex on the first date doesn't matter, this is the 20th century, seriously, what is the big deal. I personally am a mother of a girl, and I would hope that she has a healthy "SAFE" sex life and she's not to uptight to know how to have an orgasm and is comfortable in her own skin, just like me, that doesn't mean be a tramp but sex is sex, being a tramp is something totally different. If you'd have said you were with 3 different guys the same night,, then you might have a problem. Seriously Sex is the best thing in the world between two consulting adults and too many women get all freaked out because the guy doesn't call the next day or make some statement of eternal love. No offence but get over it already, it's sex,, it's healthy.. DO IT..... but be SAFE and careful. | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/5/2007 5:47:32 PM | ^ ^ ^ ^ Not only do your parenting skills suck, but you don't even know what century it is.
Having sex with a guy on the first night isn't bad enough, you have to have sex with three guys in one night in order to qualify as a tramp in your book? Your poor kid.
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/5/2007 6:01:17 PM | | I think if you read again, you will see I didn't say you had to have sex with three guys in one night in order to be a tramp... but you read it however you like.. after all this is a forum and you ARE entitled to your opinion.... LOL and my parenting skills have gotten me a 20 year old who is an upstanding person and has lots of integrity. You might want to fill me in on what century it is, your age I'll assume would give you more education then mine , whatever ~! Get over yourself already. | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/6/2007 7:50:23 AM | depends on the relationship with the other person and how long we had chatted
ideally first date would be a coffee/tea in a public place to see whats what
if only spoke a few times and they wnted sex asap then i wouldnt take it seriously but more of two people having fun | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/6/2007 11:01:00 AM | | LOL thanks, I got so wrapped up in what I had to say I lost a century, but that's not so bad,, just makes me feel younger.. Phew thanks for the update though, these forums can get ya a little worked up when you read some of the crap in them.. | |
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| question on sex and first date?
Posted: 5/6/2007 2:16:30 PM | Spontaneity, what feels right at the time, those 4 words: Life Is Too Short.
I would never normally 'put out' on a first date. But is it a first date when you have mailed for a bit, when you have got to know eachother a little, before actually meeting?- Another thread topic maybe, but back to ...
You really like a guy and enjoy his company. You say goodbye outside your door, you kiss,the kissing is awesome, then he throws you a mighty hefty curveball: 'Ask me to stay & I will', instead of just letting you know he wants to stay, such a gentleman, he lays the consequences entirely in your court. You are the one who must make the decision & deal with it after. Spontaneity, the 4 words, suddenly wanting to get to know this guy intimately, be held by him. All these things appealed. I did sleep with him. It was great. I let him know I hadn't been with anyone in a long time (nerves), this was true for me, but his reaction, I immediately picked up on, seemed like disbelief. Momentary hesitation on my behalf that he believed I was easy, then I was the hypocrite throwing myself into the pretty damn fine moments. BUT, the next morning I was sad. Sad, because I had the feeling /knew that I wouldn't be seeing this great guy again. I was right, I think, because he referred to me in the past tense a few times, had an air of embarassment that hadn't been there before the great sex, and yes, he did say goodbye. No call back.
Sadness aside, no regrets, a great memory of being with a guy I, albeit briefly,
really connected with, a rare thing. I seized the moment & I enjoyed it. | |
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