| Is it possible to fall in love with someone before meeting them in person?
Posted: 2/17/2009 7:23:48 PM | | I have fallen in love with someone that I met online, and it was one off the most painful experiences of my life. We forged such a strong emotional bond before we met, and when we finally met, I toppled the rest of the way. Sadly, we lived far apart, we both had young children, and it was an impossible situation, but I will always consider him one of the loves of my life. | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone before meeting them in person?
Posted: 2/17/2009 7:36:13 PM | If you are confusing the "chemicals" doing gymnastics in your body when you talk to a charming person online as love....then I feel that you are being silly and immature.
I have always met the person for a "date" right away after connecting online.
IMM there is no reason to sit on one's azz and prolong a melodrama of unrequited "love" online unless that is what turns you on.
Love is so much more than chemicals made by words on a computer. | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone before meeting them in person?
Posted: 2/17/2009 7:36:40 PM | I fell into lust once but it didn't last. I was disappointed when we met in person. I think we can "fall in love" with the personality that is shown to us through the medium of mail, but it is too easy to present what we want the other person to think of us, a false image.
In person,the eyes tell it all. The body language, the level of hygiene and dental care, the taste in clothing and so much more. | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone before meeting them in person?
Posted: 2/18/2009 6:17:19 AM | Nope...don't think it's possible. There may be other feelings that can be mistaken for "love", but in my experience, there are many other factors to consider before I can truly say I am "in love" with another.
But then again, that's just MY experience...who knows what fairy tale romances are out there brewing up for others! | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone before meeting them in person?
Posted: 2/18/2009 8:46:57 AM | | I guess anything is possible. However, I do not think it's a matter of "falling in love", I think it's a matter of wanting more. I have been here, am here, and I do not love him, I just want more of him. I am at the stage where when I hear his voice, I just can't get enough. Will we meet? Hopefully one day, but for now, just hearing his voice is good enough for me. | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone before meeting them in person?
Posted: 2/20/2009 12:45:51 AM | Well, at least as long as it stays virtual, one can't get axe-murdered! 
The "real thing" is love that grows out of spending time and sharing experiences together - A closeness and comfort level that can't develop without tangible contact.
Before you meet the person, all you have is a dream of the good possibilities, and no exposure to any of the bad bits. He can't leave the toilet seat up on IM! And if you are listening to him snore there... Well, that's just weird!  | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone before meeting them in person?
Posted: 2/20/2009 1:08:54 AM | I've fallen asleep while he played me lullaby's on his guitar from 3000 miles away....so it's more likely he heard me snore...;)...
Everyone and their Mother can say it is not plausible...doesn't matter much what anyone says....unless you've experience something beyond what you believe to be true and/or possible...you will answer this question with a definitive 'no'...
Anything is possible, even and including.... and perhaps even especially....matters of the heart...
It was a dream...only I wasn't sleeping....... | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone before meeting them in person?
Posted: 2/20/2009 11:45:05 AM | There is nothing like a good dose of reality to set the tone for the relationship. You can fall in love with someone's words but you can never really know someone until you have to wash their knickers. Big difference, one is more fantasy of who they want you to think they are, the other is the reality of who they are. | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone before meeting them in person?
Posted: 2/20/2009 12:49:14 PM | It is intriguing that people wish to draw such a fine line between online and offline while writing on a forum for an online dating site. Yes -- I realize that for many the goal is to get Y person to meet at X location by Z date. I will agree whole-heartedly that for some falling in love without meeting the person first is very likely impossible. But (and this is the big catch) I think it is equally as possible to fall in love via the net.
But here is why I find the whole up-in-arms debate so amusing: fall in love is not the challenge. Its staying in love that is the true test. Do you have the strength to trust the person to be truthful about who he or she is telling you they are? Are you patient enough / do you have enough hope that you two will meet? Do you have the strength and will to take part in making that happen? And what of when you meet? Are the feelings you have strong enough to carry you through meeting the person? Will you have the wisdom and acceptance to recognize the reality that nobody can fully tell you who they are, because we all have two sides: the believed (what we believe we are) and the preceived (the way that people view us based on how they see us).
I say all of this as someone who is about to meet my boyfriend of 8 months for the first time next weekend. Will it be instant fireworks? Instant Ew! Or 'Uh.... Who are you again?' I am not a psychic and I cannot predict the future with 100% certainty. However... I am optimistic and I believe strongly that the fact that we have tons in common, love each other's company and have done our best to be honest will be at least of some assistance. Even if, somewhere down the road, we do not end up sitting in matching rocking chairs before a fire, that will not meet that we did not love each other here and now. That would not meet that we 'failed' or that what we decided was a 'mstake'.
I also find it very interesting that so many here think it is more possible to lust over someone online then to love them. That seems kinda backwards to me, since lust is more about the physicality of a person where love (at least in my personal view of it) is more to do with what lies within a person's heart. I love my boyfriend because he has proven time and again to be a man of his word, because he treats me with a level of compassion and respect I have never recognized in a man before meeting him, because he has a completely zanny sense of humor with which he has been known to send me into uncontrolled bursts of laughter. I love the fact that he remembers the little things that I tell him about my life, that he remembers the small details of my preferences, whether they be something small like my favorite food or something more important like the fact that I have a imobilizing fear of escalators.
Now don't get me wrong... I did not just meet him and "Poof!" instant love. No... It took time, and lots of it. Two years of friendship and the bonding of that turning into what is now nearly 8 months together. When we first met I honestly would never have guessed we'd even end up dating. But the one thing I stand by the most when it comest llove though is that it does not come just because you want it to. It has its own timing and its own course that it must take. What I can also say about him and I is that the bond between us has done nothing but gotten stronger as time has gone by. I can only hope that our meeting will strengthen what we already have, as opposed to the possability that it might topple everything like a house of cards. Only time will tell.
There are no garauntees within the realm of the heart, especially in this day and age. We all really have only two choices. To risk the chance to have loved and lost, or to play it 'safe' and never love at all. Is "choosing" to fall in love with someone online the most wise and practical decission one could make? Definately not. But then... Love is a risk factor and most risks are not wise in and of themselves. They only seem wise when and if the risk involved generates a reward. Infact, it is the reward, and not the risk, that generates the idea of any wisdom being inherent to the situation.
Lastly... Online or off you can think you know someone and then have your entire perception of that person be completely obliterated within any hour of any given day. People come and people go, and at times there is simply no warning. Some here are saying that there is potentially a fine line between fantasy and reality. Some argue that this whole concept is desperation while others claim it to be an indication of hope. Ultimately, as I tend to say about everything, it is an individual choice and all that any of us can do is to make decissions that we, as individuals, can live with. Whoever else enters or leaves our lives, we will be with ourselves for the long haul.
One more point: [edited to add this] The emotions that we feel are only as real as we permit them to be. Have you lost someone and cried over them? Have you felt worry if they are making a dangerous journey? Have you felt a sense of Joy when someone says their name? The setup for the feelings that those of us who have felt for people via the net may not be the most conventional, but the feelings that are felt are only as valid as the people feeling them. (And last I checked, one person is generally not more "real" then another) As for the whole "drama queen" thing, I honestly hope people don't log onto their PCs hoping to go through all this, cuz it really is a long and challenging road. Kinda like investing in finger paintings done in the wet sand as the ocean tide comes in. *shrug* | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone before meeting them in person?
Posted: 2/20/2009 2:16:21 PM | | AI do not feel you can really fall in love until you spend actual time with them. Online, a person only allows you to see what they want you to see of them, and visa versa. True love requires the true acknowledgement and acceptance not only of the positive sides of a person and the relationship but also the negatives. Love at first sight is also probably not an accurate term. I'm seeing a trend of horror stories lately where people "fall in love" over the internet then meet and refuse to see the realities of thier counteparts and situation. It's trajic and I wish people did not put themselves through this. | |
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| Is it possible to fall in love with someone before meeting them in person?
Posted: 2/20/2009 2:33:53 PM | | Yes, categorically, emphatically, undoubtedly, madly, uncontrollably, unshatterably, bible true, scare yourself to death, is the bear a Catholic? do the Popes shit in the woods? Oh yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyussss so bloody beware and don't be**** about it, thiniking it can't happen to you! | |
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