| How do you get over someone that you loved and they treated you badly?
Posted: 1/28/2006 12:59:08 PM | | i hate that crap it has happened to me so many times and recent i meet this girlwe click instantly and have a good time together then her ex finds out and tries coming back he has treated her like crap cheating on her leaving her for someone else and wont let her do anything w/o him or unless he approves ...... so here i am trying to treat her like she is the only woman i have any contact with and she suddenly decides to go back to him saying he realized what hes done and hes changed one time i could understand but this makes the 4th comon if you havent learnde and changed before now than your prolly not goina either way i just dont understand and she admits i treat her better than he ever did . can anyone explain offer suggestions thanks a bunch | |
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| How do you get over someone that you loved and they treated you badly?
Posted: 1/28/2006 3:09:27 PM | | I'm happy you have made a commitment to your friend, it helps to have that. My lesson that I learned about unhealthy relationships was a difficult one. My relationships became more and more dangerous until the last one where there was this huge physical and emotional explosion. I woke up so to speak and realized I was setting myself up and the next relationship would end me. I had to figure out what I was doing. Why was I recreating these terrible relationships. What was I doing to myself. I think, now it was an unonscious desire to find people who would confirm what I saw myself as, deep inside. I thought I was worthless. I thought everyone I ever loved would hurt me and leave me. So I went out and found people that would treat me this way. It was a very painful thing for me to realize. I had to look in the mirror and face a lot of truth about how I had hurt myself. It was terrible. Then I owned it. It was no longer these crappy guys, it was me. They had no power. I decided I wasn't going to hurt myself any more. I'm still working on it. At Christmas I sent a friendly email to an old boyfriend and he sent a reply that was the worst thing I've ever read. He tore me apart. I was taken aback. I then thought, "HOw can he hate me so much?" Then something funny happened. I realized I don't like him. If anyone is going to dislike me I hope its him. Why would I care what someone that unhealthy thinks of me. The question is what do I think of him? My point is what do you think of this guy that dragged you through the dirt. Is he special because anyone that can hurt you so much is actually powerful and worthy of your love or would you like to save your love for someone who is kind and warm and gentle. We are all alone sometimes and that can be painful especially when we aren't in love with ourselves. There is a little girl in your heart that always wants to be loved. Nurture her the way only you can and protect her from people who are wounded such as your ex. You deserve it and I know you'll find this out. Without any more lessons. | |
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| How do you get over someone that you loved and they treated you badly?
Posted: 1/28/2006 3:16:01 PM | | Hi Double Cabin. Lucky you. Your selfawareness could be used as a healthy role model. For some it isn't that easy to just snap out of it. Each of us must learn about our own unhealthy habits and self sabataging behavior. You are right in explaining that we are responsible for our own deisions but my wish for you is that you may share your wisdom with more kindness. Dwelling on the past is not healthy but reflecting on our personal history is how we can learn about ourselves and make positive changes. Reflection leads to self awareness. Please be kind, we're all trying here. And cheers to you for being upbeat on a downer subject. | |
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| How do you get over someone that you loved and they treated you badly?
Posted: 1/28/2006 3:31:53 PM | | I had a round of counseling after my marriage failed, and I started feeling better about myself. That was about 7 years ago. Its natural to feel as if your life has been wasted, when you're in a relationship that sours, or otherwise goes nowhere. You assume the risk of rejection anytime you start a relationship, but if you and the other person contribute to it, then the two of you get to know each other as friends. Then as soul mates, possibly, but of course that is in the long term scheme of things.. | |
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| How do you get over someone that you loved and they treated you badly?
Posted: 1/28/2006 5:49:07 PM | | good point ..i think everyone has been there atleast once but if you know that its bad and youve had the good why go back to the bad i maybe could understand giving it one try but not 4 it just bothers me that some one would give up being treate really good (i.e very good communication, affection, just in general the way a woman is suposed to be treated and to rather give a bad relationship another try especially when it hasnt been a week and shes allready cried and hes upset her if you have changed or even tried it would show in the begining and then possibly go back to the same in the future but not to be very close to the same from the get go i just wish i could help her before she gets hurt again and possibly does anything stupid | |
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ruby37
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Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 107 | |
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| How do you get over someone that you loved and they treated you badly?
Posted: 11/9/2007 3:34:08 PM | Only Marry some one who will be gracefull to you upon divorce, this sound pesemistic but my friends you experience a darker part of the human equation If they where gracious to you in your life with them 1 you probably won't be ending the relationship and 2 If it does end you will still have a friendly soul in your corner.   | |
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| How do you get over someone that you loved and they treated you badly?
Posted: 11/9/2007 4:22:22 PM | | I personally think from just reading the posters opening comment that anyone who just wants sex in their name or profile has already degraded themselves and have low expectations, not so difficult ones to satisfy, at least on a short term basis. The thread title and opening statement are in contradiction, never the less without looking at a profile that's faceless (no offense, it's against my standards) the poster seems to want something more meaningful, maybe love? The next poster assumes the thread originator doesn't love herself? Get help? Let me start at this point since I don't want my response to be further influenced by other posters. I'll take for granted that the thread poster got all the support and help she could, what comes next? Internet dating is a numbers game at first, you want to read as many profiles as possible and initiate communications if you find a possible match. It can takes dozens or hundreds of profiles and communications before you find someone who might be a match enough to want a date, then if a date is good there are follow up dates that are a must, it's all common sense in a forming a relationship, when it doesn't work you try again, more first dates that hopefully result in second dates, and so on. If you have preformed due diligence with a lost love in a break up process then you are best served by dong what it takes (a lot) to find new love, once you do you can recover when you find a better new lover. Once you have loved or more so when it's mutual, then lose, you are never the same until you can love again. | |
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| How do you get over someone that you loved and they treated you badly?
Posted: 4/26/2008 10:34:41 AM | | i know what ya mean i was dating this girl for 6 weeks everything was going great till her ex came back he drop her like a brick then she tells me if she was single she would take him back well she left me to go back with him didn't end it or anything just went poof now she won't even talk to me | |
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| How do you get over someone that you loved and they treated you badly?
Posted: 7/12/2008 7:52:01 PM | | He tested you to see how far he could use you. When he found out how far you would allow the abuse to go, he further humilated you by pushing your buttons. If you go back now, he will have total control over you. Abusers like to test you, just to see how far they can control you. They are predatory. If you go back, you are saying to him that you are a glutton for punishment. He will humiliate and punish you with verbal and physical and psychological abuse. He will hurt you worse than before. This is a game to him. You are not human. You are a thing to play sadistic games with. RUN FOR THE HILLS! | |
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| How do you get over someone that you loved and they treated you badly?
Posted: 7/12/2008 7:57:01 PM | Seriously..........is this post a joke? How could you even think about going back to someone that you know used you. That is ridiculous. If you love yourself then you will not allow yourself to be used by anyone. I would rather be alone than be mistreated. You do not deserve to be mistreated. You deserve to be loved.
Get back on this site or any site and start meeting people............this will take your mind off the loser you fortunately lost.
My few cents............"sense" | |
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| How do you get over someone that you loved and they treated you badly?
Posted: 7/12/2008 7:59:46 PM | sorry to be blunt but what u just wrote is pretty screwed up.u need help plain and simple.make an apointment with a shrink as soon as possible.it seems like your so desperate to be with someone and not alone that u are willing to try to find just anyone or willing to go back to someone who u know used u and mistreated ya.your definately not ready for a relationship.go get help first.
finaly if you want to get over him its simple just tell yourself that there was nothing worth u staying in that relationship.u didnt gain anything good from it except a lesson to learn so just pretend it never happened and move on.the jerk is not worth u waisting tears on him or thinking about him one more seconde. | |
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| How do you get over someone that you loved and they treated you badly?
Posted: 7/12/2008 9:37:43 PM | | When you love someone very deeply and you know it had to be over, it isn't all that simple to just go meet someone new. One just doesn't snap their fingers and erase the memories of the one they shared their life with for a long or short while. You need to grieve the loss, even if for all the right reasons it was over; you need to make yourself accept that it is over and to never be again; but most of all you must stop loving that person and clinging to the memories. That all takes time. At that point in time then one can move on to find someone new. You meet someone new on the rebound with your heart and thoughts with the other, you are cheating that new one and cheating yourself. | |
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