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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 8:49:21 PM | Dont depend on another person to make you happy. Be happy with your life first and then the right one will come. Help others that are in need in your community. Join a organization or do some volunteer work. Give to others your time. God will bless you with your soul mate. God will send someone in your life that will see the good in you and fall in love with you for who you are. Let God be the center piece of your life , let him be your rock .
Psalm 23:
The Lord is my Sheppard. I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul he leadeth me in the path of Rightioness for his name sake.
yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil. Thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me
Thou preparest a table before me in the presense of mine enemies. Thou annointest my head with oil , my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the lord forever. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 9:00:27 PM | | If you love her then you want what is best for her, not for you. So that means what ever it takes to make her happy, you want her to have it. In this case, what will make her happy is to be with this other guy. So unless you are selfish, you want that for her. It might work out, it might not. But either way, you need to be there in any capacity you can for her in case she needs you. And you can't do that by dying. the pain of the loss outweighs your ability to deal with it. But surround yourself with thought provoking things for a year and the pain will subseid. In the meantime. Let her be happy, you love her after all and want that for her don't you? Or do you want to possess her for YOUR happiness? That is not love, Evaluate what it is you want. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 9:04:08 PM | Stop & think about all the people in your life who love you.. who would be just as sad as you are right now!!! Thinking of my kids was the thing that finally got me to stop & think. Is someone who doesn't care for you as much as you do them... is not worth doing that for. And, as bad as it gets.. it will get better. I had gotten to the point that I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't think. I hurt so much that I just did not think that I could stand it any more!!! It does take some time, but it will get better.
SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION... TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM.
I have felt that same way, I just wanted the hurting to stop, just wanted to go to sleep & never wake up. Thank God, I finally stopped & asked myself what that would solve?? Just hurting those who sincerely cared for me, just transferring that hurting from myself to them.. That would not be fair to those that I love. And, the perosn that hurt us??? Do you think that their life would suddenly stop just because yours has?? NO!! Do not give in to the despair, go to a counselor, better yet go to a support group.
THinking good thoughts for you. Who knows, down the road sometime, she might come to her senses, & then you just might not want her anymore.. This has happened!!! | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 9:06:42 PM | Shappy no its true...i've dealt with countless people that wanted to commit suicide, now the ones that were ligit actually did it out of the blue, sometimes they made it sometimes they didnt, then the ones that go around telling they want to hurt themsleves or kill themselves are the ones that just need some love, some one just needs to hug them... me i personally prefer to kick them back into shape... thats how they become stronger, you break them in and then you build them up stronger. as for the perscentage im not sure if its 92%.
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 9:12:42 PM | Dude we all been there. Today after almost a year I had a bad day again of the exact same issue. My internet went down and I started cleaning and I found a stack of pictures that I had swore I hid away with the others... Yep they were her.
I don't know how long you been apart and there has been some wonderful advice thrown your way. If you are like me though the only thing that seemed to lessen the pain was to tell someone...anyone the whole story.
All I can tell you is it does get better, slowly but it gets bearable. I still can't go a full day without thinking about my ex. Even after I discovered all the lies and even seeing her "cheat" and then throw away others like human trash I still miss her. But it does get bearable.
Now if we can just get to the part where everyone says we will find someone to make us forget them lol...that is what I am beginning to think will never happen. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 9:38:57 PM | First of all,I'd like to say to the reply of empty1,your name suits you buddy,empty,void,& cold.Do everyone a favor & keep your advice to yourself.Your the only one who could make sense of your insensitivity.People like you never cease to amaze me at the lack of compassion for anyone.Having said that-At A Loss-My heart & prayers go out to you.I had 20 years & 3 children by the man who was my first,true love.I know how your feeling,every emotion possible is running through you.I wasn't suicidal,but I felt like dying.The loss of a person by any means is by far the worst pain we will experience in life.It took me over a year to really begin life again.I hope it's sooner for you but everyone grieves in their own way & time.But,honey,I'm here to tell you by experience,you can & will make it.Time does heal.And with the help of family,friends,& others in your life to listen,be supportive,give that hug when needed,& just knowing someone is there will help.Don't shut yourself off,stay busy,be around those that are positive,& that day will come when you can move on & find love again.I hope something in my words inspired you enough to know you still have so much in life to live for.If you need a friend,you've just made a new one here.Please don't hesitate to contact me if you'd like.Here is a quote to think on...The entire sum of existence is the magic of being needed by just one person.I'm sure there is more than one in your life that needs you.Hang in there sweetie,the sun will shine again & hopefully brighter than before.  | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 32 | |
| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 10:01:28 PM | My life will never be the same ever.
you're right, it will never be the same, instead it can and will be better. All it takes is one year, tops, to get over someone, anyone for that matter....you just need to get past all the anniversaries and you're home free...are you really willing to cash in the rest of your life over one tough year? | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 10:07:40 PM | | "...there are no mistakes; only lessons to be learned..." | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 10:09:41 PM | rake:
All it takes is one year, tops, to get over someone, anyone for that matter..
I respect your opinion, however I don't believe anyone can place a time limit on healing.
Time doesn't heal a thing - it's what one chooses to do with time, that heals.
"...there are no mistakes; only lessons to be learned..."
edit: double post... sigh | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 35 | |
| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 10:18:29 PM | | most ppl cant get it done in a year or less because they dont know how to properly grieve the death of a relationship. For those cases it can take years! However if you do know what you're doing and you work at it, there is no reason why it can't be done. Im not talking about forgetting. Thats impossible. Im talking about healing. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 10:52:52 PM | Hey there fellow, I know it may seem really hard right now, but it will get better for you in time. You just have to except to yourself that it is over with your girlfriend, and will NEVER be the same with her again. Remember, you are not alone, this happens to OTHER people all the time. It is a sad fact of life and it always hurts!!! You just have to try to stop thinking about her and blaming yourself for not making it work. You probably could have done a million things differently and this probably would have still happened, so it's not your fault!
If you can get her out of your head, you will find their are many other women you are attracted to, and that it is possible to smile and love again. You WILL find another girlfriend in time, but you HAVE to put her behind you or you will find life will get harder to bare if you don't. SO HEADS UP, CHEST OUT, and GET OUT THERE and START SOCIALIZING AGAIN!! There is still much of your life left to live and many new experiences to have. Good Luck and Stay Cool!!   | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 11:07:12 PM | I can relate to your pain. I lost who I thought was the love of my life, my soul mate over a year ago. She left me because I was struggling with life, and it was to much for her to handle. She had to leave me to take care of herself. From what I have heard she is now shacking up with a married man.
I have now come to realize that she was never the love of my life or my soul mate. Someones soul mate will never leave when times get rough, or when you are most in need. If she truly loved me she would have stood bye me, strong and as in love with me as she "said" she was after day 1.
Here is what you must do: Take care of you, work on yourself and your problems, because..............your soul mate is waiting for you! Yes this is true, she is still out there! Nothing in life is free, and anything that is good in life you have to work for! So, get to work!
Finally, if you commit suicide chances are you will suffer in hell for eternity. If this is something you are seriously considering, please seek help. Please. We have all been there with the pain of losing someone, maybe not as severe as what you have been through, but we have. I, personally, can relate, and want you to know its going to be ok. Each day will get a little easier, and once you get your house back in order, your true soul mate will walk through the door, happy to finally be with you. She can not walk through that door if you are dead. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 11:07:53 PM | | You should read the book Conversations with God, Part 1. There are a lot of good words of advice regarding relationships. Absolutely you will find love again!!!! And when you do, it will be better. I know it doesn't seem like that now and it totally sucks and you probably feel like your heart has been ripped out and it's not repairable! But it will heal, and it will become stronger! | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 11:09:14 PM | | I am truly sorry for your loss, please hang in there. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 11:12:30 PM | First off, be thankful that you have your health.
I wake up every day wondering whether my health problems are going to prevent me from doing the things I love and experiencing life to the fullest, or end my career. Or render me permanently bedridden.
Try finding your soulmate when everyone your age wants someone who can go to the gym, rollerblade, run marathons and have children.
Second, celebrate the fact that you found a true, shared, intimate love in your lifetime.
Some people *never* find that after a lifetime of searching, and have never had the experience.
Celebrate that you are capable of loving another human being so completely, that it happened and is possible for you. It happened once - it CAN happen again. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 11:21:01 PM | At A LOSS .... there is no one and only / or soulmate for anyone! No such thing!
We can be compatable with any number of people ...... some moreso that others....
AND ...... if you are religious ..... then you should know that whenever one door in life closes another will be opened AND that you will NEVER be given more than you can handle!
I'm not a Holy Roller by a long shot ..... and I'm divorced and I've had plenty to be fed up with in life BUT ... something always comes along to turn the tide .... always ... we just have to be open to it and take the past and put it away ..... don't forget it, just learn and move along and be open for whatever new and wonderful thing is awaiting. Life is Good and Can Be Great if YOU are open to it. Take some time and level out and open up!
It will be even better ..... I know! | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 11:52:59 PM | At a Loss-
Join the Club,Do You really think Your the only Person Who has ever felt this way?
Did You ever think that maybe She could change Her mind and realize She may have made a mistake by breaking up with You.Now that would be ironic
I think Your being a little self centered in Your Post.
How Do You think She would feel if You carried such an act out.
She would have to live with that the rest of Her life.
And what about Your loved ones,Family..what about them,think of the hurt they would Go through.
Stop indulging in Your own self Pity,
We have all been were You are...almost everyone of Us,Most of Us have been through break ups marrige,etc.
Suck it up and stop feeling sorry for Yourself.
If You love this Woman as much as You say You do ,You sure have a funny way of showing it.Life sucks grab a helmet.
Get some help. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/19/2006 3:49:59 AM | Please give yourself time to heal, time is really the only thing that is going to help and believe me it does. No one person is worth dying for..call friends, go out and date again as soon as you can. Occupy your mind and time and keep busy.
I almost succeded at commiting suicide over someone and now a year later I think screw you idiot you were so not worth it. I could kick my own ass for even trying. Life is too precious to waste and like I said NO ONE is worth dying for.
Keep your chin up and keep smiling...someone is out there for you and all I can say is it her loss. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/19/2006 6:37:25 AM | | I would like to interject a quick clarification here, time doesnt solve anything...the proper use of time solves everything. The phrase "sieze the day" comes to mind. Time is a passive player, you are the master of your destiny and your heart and mind are the motor and the rudder of your voyage, if you rule them well you will go places no one could imagine, if you let them rule you, you will spin around wrecklessly bumping into everything in the shipyard until you finally sink battered and full of holes. | |
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winxs
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Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 45 | |
| I want to die
Posted: 1/19/2006 6:41:28 PM | | Havent you noticed that everybody has a story? Everybody has been hurt. I lost the man that I thought was the love of my life because he decided after 4 years that resposibility and children werent what he wanted. I never saw it coming. It leveled me. Went through the cant eat, cant sleep, stuff we all go through and then realized that, hey, life has to go on .What doesnt kill you makes you stronger. Chin up, it does get easier. And yes a year down the road there is going to be something to remind you, but eventually instead of it cutting like a knife, youll be able to smile and remember the good times. Take care and best of luck. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/19/2006 6:43:57 PM | It's not as if you're the only one who's experienced incredible pain.
Consider it a right of passage: pain is weakness leaving the body. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/19/2006 7:50:40 PM | wow. I am relieved to see that I am "normal" It took me 13 months to get over a relationship that I ended. For the first 3 months all I wanted to do was get off this earth. I even had it all planned out. But, I have children. Thats the only thing I think that stopped me. Now I look back and think how foolish it was to think that way. That escape is irreversible and very very final. You WILL get through this without question. Yes it hurts. Yes it is going to hurt for a while. And it's going to hurt bad. But it WILL end. Take life one second at a time. Then one minute at a time, one hour at a time etc. Keep busy and you will see that the time will fly. I found that speeding up time helped a great deal. This past year went by like one month. Because my friend, time does heal all wounds. The scar will remain, but the pain will be gone.
Xir.......... i am so glad there is such a thing as Karma. Saves me from voicing my opinion about you. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/19/2006 8:38:42 PM | Hang in there, heartbreak is tough but eventually you will look back and this and think "What was I thinking??""
I just lost a very close friend to suicide this past October. I can't begin to tell you how mad at him I am. I still cry and scream and yell at him for what he's done nearly every day. You really do need to think about how this will effect the people who care for you. They will be left with unanswered questions & guilt for the rest of their lives.
Instead of feeling like this is the end of the world for you start thinking of it as a new beginning. We have all lost great loves and it hurts like hell. We all know the symptoms, sleepless nights, weight loss, the feeling in your stomach & heart like your completley empty but eventually with help from friends and family it will all slowly go away. In the end you will become such a better person for having gone through this and when you find the next love of your life (and you will) you will have a much stronger relationship for having gone through this.
Hang in there and remember that it's a permanent soultion to a temporary problem.
Teelee | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 2/2/2006 1:06:59 AM | | Jesus dude. Its hard to add to all the good advice here. Just remember, that most of this is coming from people who were EXACTLY where you are now, myself included. If we all made it, you will too. The storm of emotion passes, peace and calm will return. Lean on your friends and family, when I went through this not one place I turned for help turned me down. I had lifelines with just about everyone I knew. You might be surprised, people will lend a hand if you ask. And prayer too, whether you beleive in God or some subconscious mechanism, it will help you clarify what you need and the steps you need to take. Its like meditation. Have faith bro. And listen to the people here and other people in your life. "God is my rock", exactly, worked for me. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 2/2/2006 11:15:58 AM | | Hi there. I went through an incredibly painful breakup back in November of 2002. I have to say that I also briefly contemplated suicide because I had never felt emotional pain like that before. That lasted for maybe a couple of days and even though it took a lot longer than that for the pain, hurt, and anger to go away, I knew that it would eventually. I also knew that if I killed myself, she would be able to justify her hurtful actions towards me by saying "See?? The guy had serious mental issues...can you blame me for breaking up with him?" - There was NO WAY I was going to let that happen. So, I tried to keep myself busy, and tried to stay positive about life in general. I intend to go to school sometime within the next year and I plan on being very successful after my schooling is done. She already knows she screwed up big time by doing what she did and losing me forever; she'll know it even more a couple of years down the road. | |
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