| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 1/21/2006 5:41:27 PM | Dude, you're absolutely right, most fizzle out after a few e-mails, then you're writing with another. It gets rather disheartening and sometimes boring. Makes you wonder, why bother? That's why it's probably best to forget about falling in love..or maybe I should say, don't make falling in love a priority. Naturally we're going to be drawn to a certain woman and then get all excited about the thoughts of "what if". But, truth seems to be that the one you really dig will probably just delete your letter without a reply. This is why I NOW look at the dating aspect of this site as a means for just going out once in a while. Probably won't lead to love but at least it can be fun.
The good lookin' one hasn't written you back, huh! Don't feel bad. I was suposed to do brunch this morning, with a girl from here. Last time we spoke was about three days ago, so I called her this morning, just to make sure we were still on. I got her voice-mail, left a short message but she never called back. Last Sunday I was suposed to go out with this other woman, but the weather was pretty nasty considering the drive between us. That was cancelled. So you see, even if it's just for a fun outing, this whole internet thing is a hassle. Got another phone number a couple of days ago. Wasn't going to call her because she seems a little too quiet for my liking, but, maybe I'll call her tomorrow, simply because YA NEVA KNOW! | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 1/21/2006 8:02:51 PM | Thanks. I don't feel bad about her not responding. Maybe she will eventually. Who knows? It's not like I know her. She was just a pretty face on a screen.
Btw, I think I blew it with the one girl from the other site. I returned her call too late and I haven't gotten so much as an email since. I feel all guilty about that. :)
But see that's the thing. I don't even feel all that compelled to call the girls when I get their number. It's not that I disliked her or anything. It's just that by the time I get home from work and such, it's late and everything.
I think she lived too far away anyway. Maybe she got mad at me or something.
Of course if it was that other girl, the one I like who's unavailable, I'd be making time to call her. | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 1/22/2006 8:52:45 AM | i totally know how you feel..
i approached this whole thing originally with enthusiasm.
i had a picture up and a fun thought out profile....and i just gradually slid down hill.
now i've lost all my enthusiasm for this medium.
very rarely does anyone of interest catch my eye.
when they do if i end up chating with them it hardly progresses to me going out with them..
and if it does it all falls apart after the first date anyway (no i am not unattractive/incapable of carrying on a conversation or anything..)
this is not site specific
where are all the intelligent attractive men in this world in the 25-30 age group?
cars, poker and boobs and the quest for money are not all there is to life. | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 2/24/2006 7:29:06 PM | cars, poker and boobs and the quest for money are not all there is to life.
Oh tell me about it. You should meet some of the guys I work with. In the break room, they'll be fighting over the sports section. That's all they read in the newspaper. Most of them can tell you exactly how the Superbowl went down, yet they can't tell you who our Vice President is.
I am getting discouraged. I don't know what it is. I send out emails, and get no response. When I get emails w/o making the first move, they're never women I want to go out with. I really don't get it. I don't know if it's me or them or what? I thought this would be fun, but it's not. I just keep being made to feel like I'm not good enough. What's the point in me even sending anything to anyone anymore? 9 times out of ten it's "read deleted".
I apologize for being whiny, but this sucks. | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 2/24/2006 7:49:35 PM | | Still no luck? I'm sorry. You seem like a nice guy. I totally get what you are saying about losing interest, don't know why I'm not motivated to call or make a date either. Maybe I'm self-sabatoging, lol Good luck to you | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 2/24/2006 7:54:30 PM | Thanks koolaid.
Nice,normal girls that I find attractive seem to suffer from a condition I call A.B.D. Anybody But Darren.
I feel like an unemployed actor or an American Idol contestant. | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 2/24/2006 7:55:35 PM | Do you have a chemistry IV running from your PC to your arm?
Use the site to find out if you think they'd be fun, then go out with them, on an actually face to face date. Then you can find out if there's a spark. If you get a spark from an internet profile, get out of the house a little more often. | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 2/24/2006 8:16:05 PM | I guess I could go out with some of them. I just don't want to lead anyone on. I'm afraid that if i go out with a girl I don't find attractive, that they'll like me and want to see me again, and then I'll hurt their feelings.
There is a girl I've been emailing back and forth that I do feel a sort of spark with. We may be going out at some point.
Blah. | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 3/31/2006 12:15:12 PM | this site is great. it gives you a chance to send a personal note to anyone you find interesting. -even if you dont think they will respond, its nice to be able to tell them they caught your eye. the forums are great, a fun way to add your two cents to any topic. and a way to see what that person is really like or what gets them in a fury.
the problem with paysites is even if your signed up and paying the $29. if the one you want to message isnt paying the $29 also -they arent getting the messages.
once you meet someone here, share a drink and a half hour of their time. you will realize they dont meet 100% of your expectations (two different lives, no one ever matches in all expectations) you have to decide if you are willing to accept (not settle) for them as who they are. or throw em back. some are really nice, -others im left wondering: what just happaned???
its all suppose to be fun -IF YOU TAKE THIS SITE TOO SERIOUSLY -YOUR NOT GOING TO HAVE FUN. | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 3/31/2006 4:25:14 PM | Am I being impatient? I'm relatively new to online dating. Is the old-fashioned way better? Maybe I'm unrealistic, but I feel that finding someone shouldn't be so much work. It shouldn't be like looking for a job imo, and this is what it feels like. I feel like it should just happen.
First a lasting relationship is certainly as important as a job, so you should put as much effort into it as you would in looking for a job.
Second, the old-fashion way might be better because there are so many more men on POF and other dating sites than women. However, like looking for a job, you should not leave any stone unturned.
Third, I'm not saying you are not, but make sure you have realistic expectations. You don't have the profession or the movie-star looks to attract the most beautiful women.
Finally, once you start emailing a lady, don’t wait more than a couple of emails to ask her for her phone number and then call her up and arrange for a meeting in public place. Don’t give her time, with too many emails for her to decide she is not interested.
| |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 3/31/2006 6:41:23 PM | I'm not looking for supermodels. How many people look like movie stars anyway? How many people with movie-star looks are on here? What is a movie-star look anyway? I think lots of movie-stars are ugly. I mean, Dustin Hoffman. GREAT actor, but c'mon... Sarah Jessica Parker I wouldn't walk on a leash. Angelina Jolie looks like she OD'ed on botox. You only see them when they look their best also. And of course they can afford personal trainers, chefs and plastic surgery.
I just want someone who I find attractive (emphasis on "I"). I know what I like. I hope they find me attractive. I know people find me attractive. I've been told by a lot of people even if I don't always like the way I look. They just usually aren't women I'm interested in. Sometimes they have been men!!! And I know looks aren't everything but I think they're important initially. I mean, I also want a girl who is a nice person and is intelligent, etc. But damn, I'm a guy. I mean, I want someone I want to make out with and you know... :)
And there are girls I find attractive that others don't and girls everyone's ga-ga for that I don't go for. Jessica Simpson does nothing for me, but Natalie Merchant.... *sigh*.
I know, I know, I'll get more pics up. Been busy.
Profession? Any girl who doesn't want to date me simply because of my job isn't someone I want to be with. I don't care if the girl I fall for bags groceries for a living. And I am looking for a better job. I don't want to be where I am for the rest of my life. Crappy job even if the money is pretty good.
There are a couple of girls that I'm leaning towards. One I email with back and forth, and the other one I see everyday. The girl I see everyday is involved with someone else though, but I have a feeling about her. Actually, I want her pretty bad. But that's something I will not delve into any further online. | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:05:36 PM | You should just get out to get out... the sparks will come... go to some of your local events
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingForum64.aspx | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 3/31/2006 8:57:58 PM | iwarrior... I hear ya. Meeting people online or in real life, I'm incredibly picky. I like to talk to many people, because I have found there are a lot of really nice people on here. But I've been picky my whole life, and well, it's hard not to deviate from it, but why stop being picky now? Wouldn't that mean you've wasted all your prior time? I can honestly say now I've been asked out more than I've asked women out. But I can assure you, in the end it's gonna be worth the patience. Or at least that's what I'm hoping, otherwise we're both doomed.  | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 3/31/2006 9:23:12 PM | Hey Warrior,
Yeah, you are being too picky. But that is typical of Internet mate seekers.
Start looking for dates in your home town. You can use the Net, only as a contact device, though.
The real purpose is to meet some women, in person. Most of the gals in your age range will have children. Not all, but most.
If you do your looking in the real world, you can eliminate lots of poor matches instantly, and the ones you choose to approach are right there, not far away.
It can take some effort to develop the social skills to initiate contacts, and make some dates.
The effort is well worthwhile. You have to get out among people, and start saying hello. That is the first and most important step.
Forget about instant gratification. Start making contacts.
I'm out in Minnesota, and older than you. Here, I meet lots of gals at singles events. Not for everybody, although it works for me.
Most women like to dance. Dances are great for meeting women. If you don't know how to dance, inexpensive lessons are available.
If you want a connection, then you have to go find it.
Good luck! | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 3/31/2006 9:28:23 PM | Iwarrior,
If you know what you are looking for in a woman--a long term relationship vs. just a short term relationship, I think it's reasonable to be "picky" as you call yourself. It is important to know what you want in a relationship, and the type of woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. Don't settle!
I agree with the guy above me about going out to dances and other singles' events. I've had dates result from such events, but they never worked out. Just because those did not work out doesn't mean I'll stop !
Stick to your guns as far as your standards go, and you will be happy in the long term.
Cheers!!
DW | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 3/31/2006 10:28:25 PM | I'll just keep trying. The one girl I see everyday is not out of the picture imo. I keep feeling like something's going to happen with her. She keeps reaching out to me. But there's nothing more I can do about it right now. That's why I want to try and date. Maybe I'll meet someone who's actually available and who I like even more.
I'll have to find something. I really just don't know where to go or where I'll feel welcome.
Dance clubs, eh, I dunno. I don't like dance music, and aren't they bad places to meet people anyway? I used to work at one. They're like meat markets. The girls can be really snobby also since a lot of them are there just to dance.
I do contact women in my area, but they rarely reply. They just blow you off. It's hard to think of what to say anyway.
Maybe my heart's not into it enough.
I don't want to turn this into a "poor me" thread. I know my story's familiar. :)
I just feel that it should be magic, y'know? Why is it so hard? | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 4/1/2007 6:01:24 PM | Women on here are very shallow.. Some not all. They barely take the time to investigate a person. They see a picture and they immediately pass up on you! they are so rude and inconsiderate.
I'm a great guy, I have a lovely personality and very kind and warming.. but they don't give a rat's A$$ if they decide your picture sucks..
too picky indeed! | |
|
mogrl
|
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 43 | |
| |
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 4/1/2007 6:41:15 PM | You are not too picky. I know the feeling of no spark. There are a few cute guys in my area but I just don't have the motivation to contact or follow up because there is no spark. The faces tend to all blend together sometimes.
I don't want to be entertained I want to find a serious relationship. Or maybe I am really not ready and am just bored. | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:30:41 PM | | There will be several thousand women you want nothing to do with for each one you get excited about. People get discouraged because they don't understand that it takes meeting a lot of people to learn who to ignore right off. Once you figure out what you're looking for, you'll see it coming a mile away. Even if you decided to just go with the first woman you could get your hands on, it wouldn't last because you wouldn't be compatible. It's like being in a bus station waiting for the bus that is going to your destination. There is nothing wrong with the other buses, except they are going other places. Some people jump on the first bus they see and then get off again when they realize it's headed in the wrong direction. | |
|
| |
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 10/5/2007 1:53:12 PM | I think really your expecting to much too soon.
On net it takes a while to warm to people i think.
Some people are not great at expressing themselves in text format and sometimes its really hard to hold a coversation and keep it interesting.
Maybe this kind of lookin for a partner simply isnt suited to you personally.
IF your not enjoyin it why not give it a break and some back in the future? | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 10/5/2007 1:56:42 PM | OP : You are better off going out into the real world and meeting someone there. I know what you're feeling. I don't find many women on here being remotely interesting. Lots of attractive women, no doubt... but after a while it's like 'meh... so what?'
Look at POF this way :
POF is great for trainspotting people & the different characters they can be. 'People watching' but not in a creepy or stalking way. Great place to take notes in general.. then take the good and bad, know what works and what doesn't.. have a more realistic outlook as to how different people are..... turn off your computer and then go out into the world with what you have learned.
*raises beer* | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 10/5/2007 2:04:26 PM | | I always like the one that say "no game", "I value trust&" honesty. After being honest and knowing that I'm trustworthy I always feel like I should play games and be a prick - truly believe that is what most women want, ask for and value. | |
|
| Am I Being Too Picky?
Posted: 10/5/2007 2:09:57 PM | | Brother if you saw the nastiness I have to choose from most days you'd understand why I say "NO" you are probably not being too picky. The Two women that I would be interested probably are not even real. I've chatted with them but have never met so what does that tell ya ? | |
|
Home
login 
