| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/4/2007 1:40:26 PM | | so op should we put on our profiles that we need a man to cut the lawn change the filter in my furnace and also i need extra cash sometimes can you help out with that . In dependance to me , means i am quite capable of doing things on my own . Of course we are all here to find a partner but i am looking for one who will treat me as a partner and not as his slave . We dont have chips on our shoulders. My profile i guess is definatley man repellant , but you know what that cuts out all the insecure men and all the bull sh*t . | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/4/2007 1:46:23 PM | | Independant? When I hear women complain about men being intimidated by them it really just appears that they are just making an excuse to explain why they are still single. So many angry bitter people of both sexes...you seem destined to a life of singleness. When you feel the need to broadcast your past bad experiences and tell people just how stubborn, strong, arrogant or independant you are - you really are just warning potential dates to avoid you. This is all supposed to be fun and mutually satisfying, and being with a person who comes across as angry and bitter is not a fun way to spend a night out. | |
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Dobes
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Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 104 | |
| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/4/2007 5:10:17 PM | I totally agree with you, Emosabebe. I have always done everything myself. I put "independent" in my profile because I need a man to understand that:
A) I need my space too and won't be upset if you go out with the guys once in a while.
B) I don't want to be "taken care of". I want to be respected as an equal partner.
C) I am not needy. If you want someone that you have to "fix", it won't be me. Accept me for who I am and admire my resilance and determination.
The plus is that I will not latch on to you, nor will I take advantage of you. If we click and develop a trusting relationship, over time, I will begin to lean on you, as I would hope that you will also lean on me.
I like independent men. Not all men are. | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/10/2007 6:51:54 PM | | I think a lot of women throw this descriptive term into their profiles to underline the fact that they are not expecting a man to carry them. I don't think it's meant to be offensive. Perhaps the men who take it as such are insecure themselves...who knows? | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/10/2007 7:46:57 PM | Does this statement scream independent? "I have no desire to fix someone nor do I wish to be fixed. I have no need to be taken care of but wish to be cared for".
I mean every word of what I wrote but I wonder if it is understood?
I have had a man tell me he was very independent when explaining why he had not called for so long. Because of this I have little use for the word. | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/17/2007 1:56:32 PM |
Why does a woman even need to state that she's independent?
&
When a woman writes that she is independent, etc, it just seems to me (it's just a general perception from past experiences) that she has her guard up and is less capable of relaxing into a relationship.
Unfortunately it's mine experience too. I was on blind date with "strong&independent" woman. I expected she'll be smarter than me, brave, bright, talkative, open, good soul, fun...
All I got was woman with a job and a flat 
It's nice if a person have a job, but do I really, really care about that? I do not want her to support me. Yet  It's nice if she has a flat, but I am not a homeless who need to crash in for a nap and free food. Come on! Independent has to have some better meaning than that.
Personally I don't think men are scared of "independent" women. I think we are bored if she is only independent and nothing more :(
p.s.
Does this statement scream independent? "I have no desire to fix someone nor do I wish to be fixed. I have no need to be taken care of but wish to be cared for".
I don't think so. To me it's more like mature sign of recognition. Like you want to say "Hi, I am here :-)" but only to mature men. | |
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holia
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Joined: 7/12/2007
Msg: 108 | |
| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/17/2007 4:56:29 PM | | I think men like an independant women what is the defination of that depends on your programing...hmmmm... By stating that she is mearly "maybe" saying im not giving up my freedom to a man agian i want to be equal?? A women that is saying that maybe is saying im successful, responsible and able to take care of myself??? I think that is a good thing.. well for some maybe some men want a kitchen maid and maybe some women love that too. not sure but in my experience.. independance is total freedom.. the wings to fly.. example... She says im moving.. he says oh with your husband??no silly alone and free WOW what a concept.. LOL lovin you Holia | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/17/2007 5:16:19 PM | I am not intimidated by "independent" women, in fact, the more "independent" they are, the better. I enjoy my "independence" too. 
Its a hierarchal term to weed out those who may be lower on the ladder. 
The ones who go on and on about "independent" excessively, actually tend to be very needy...regardless of the image that they're trying to portray. They usually tend to end up single or settling for someone far below their ladder too. | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/17/2007 5:54:01 PM | hey look, i am a single custodial male parent, to a female daughter. talk about empowerment. reality is women had to become independant. if they depended on us what did we give them. comfort, saftey, security. lets be serious, they found that in themselves as they had to. just as i did.all they are saying is that they are more than someone who lays on their back to get what they want. they have had to rely on themselves and have sucessfully done it. a real man who wants to share in a real relationship would look at this as an asset.it is. try being 6. 2 in any drug store bying not just any, but your daughters preference in feminine hygene products. hey there is a difference. guys we /you have pushed this. dont be intimidated embrace it. why should a woman buy the pig, when she can get the sausage for free.if you truly find the love of a good woman, embrace it. respect it. cherish it. grow with it.:  | |
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EyeDye
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Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 111 | |
| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/17/2007 7:32:01 PM | To me, this is just a statement as if to say, " I dont need you to take care of me. I am strong and do not need to depend on another to define myself."
If you have a problem with this, maybe its YOU that is insecure, IMO.  | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/17/2007 7:39:44 PM | To me independent means "I don't require a man in my life to be happy or succesful". I am not a very needy person and I don't really like being pampered or humored. I don't want a man that will say "yes dear" to me and try to do everything in the world to please me. I have seen many mens profiles that say things like "I like to spoil a woman and make her feel like princess" and that just makes me cringe.
Yes, I like to cuddle. Yes, I like men to open doors. But I don't want a man that tells me what he thinks I want to hear and is afraid to speak his mind or hold his own ground. I can have a very strong personality and accidently walk on someone if they aren't capable of standing up to what I have to say or think. | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/17/2007 8:42:19 PM | | I dont like the independent women to much because I cant figure out where I would be needed. | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/17/2007 8:46:45 PM |
I dont like the independent women to much because I cant figure out where I would be needed.
Well seeing as you're tall... you're needed to get the stuff off the top shelf in the kitchen. :D | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/17/2007 9:39:21 PM | Men have been in charge since the beginning, that will never change.
all the sudden in america the feminist movement begins and ****s everything up. Feminism threw a huge stick in the spokes. Unemployment anyone? Now all the sudden the number of job seeking individuals go up to double what that demand was when men provided for the family. now every women has to have a job! see where things start to get ****ed up?
Well guys at least were always guarenteed a job in the sciences...hahaha
Hey women let me ask you something what was wrong with the natural way? Why all the sudden do you have to gank a guys sperm and raise kids on your own? | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/18/2007 9:07:01 AM | | I try to take the term "independent woman" within the context of the rest of the profile. I'm not the type to throw out a profile because of a simple desciptive term that nowadays has so many personal meanings you could probably fill up a book the size of War and Peace. Although, the term does make look for other indicators in the profile, as does more then a dozen other catch phrases. For me, the term denotes that she may not really have time for a relationship due to other constraints (children, job, other duties) and those indicators are what I look for. But without those, I don't really see the problemwith the actual use of "independent woman". | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/18/2007 9:28:40 AM | | Independent woman better mean that she wants to have a successful career, which I fully support women having, instead of meaning that I'll have to be making my own dinners...not cool. | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/18/2007 11:41:01 AM | | I don;t see the problem. I consider myself to be independent. Although the thought of stating that in my profile did not occur to me. | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/18/2007 11:42:11 AM | [Men have been in charge since the beginning, that will never change.]
And let me take this opportunity to let you know I absolutely agree with the statement above. You are obviously in control and let me tell you that you are doing a real bang up job.....
Now I have no issue's with men being men but you make it plain to see that men's intelligence varies.....
You are really "summin".
A very intelligent and wise man once said to me: "Women do what they do because frequently they have been failed by men". NOW....I am not into generalizations but I do agree that this statement is rather true in many scenarios.
And that is all I have to say about that..... | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/18/2007 11:44:13 AM | I wonder if Destiny's Child comes to the POF forums and feels eternally terrible (or really proud) for making this phrase so much more popular?
Basically as men it's sort of a "duh" moment to hear a woman say she's independent, but that's because men have always been taught to be independent and just grow into that without actually thinking about it.
Women have been able to become independent a LOT more recently, so it's a bit of a concept to them to say it.
I still believe women are trying to tell you she's got her crap together and isn't trying to find a man for his money, his property, or anything other than who HE is. She's explaining to you that she's not going to ask you to pay her bills or take care of her kids. Why is she explaining that? Because a LOT of men complain about those type of women. So y'all brought it on yourselves that women are so clear about that.
To you it's like breathing to do the things she's telling you she does, but to her it's separating herself from the princesses of the world who want a knight with a big wallet to come along and make her life easier...a thing that you're saying you want to avoid.
You can't have it both ways, fellas. Either she wants you for what you have, or she has her own stuff. Pick one and let's stop posting these threads. | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/18/2007 1:20:17 PM | Being an independent woman is fine if it refers to financial responsibility - I just don't want to meet them - IF they confuse assertiveness with aggression or have the personality of General George Patton reincarnated.
Joe | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 7/18/2007 1:26:58 PM | Just like the smoking or drinking section; we need a place for people to give us their personal analysis of their character. 
I could see a list of selections:
independant
leach
player
cheater
saint
shy
Good person
liar
etc.
I'm sure we'll get an honest interpretation from the individual. | |
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| Independent woman seeks....
Posted: 10/13/2007 7:25:14 AM | "Independent" = Spinster
- the modern version. She's typically older, has plenty of baggage (which she thinks makes her more interesting), and has no idea how to be appealing to a man; worse, she's actually rather proud about all that. | |
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