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 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 126
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Men Over 55 Years Of AgePage 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Only one gal on this site said she had a guy over 55 ask her for a date.

I posted this same question on two other sites and the women there have never been asked for a date by a guy over 55 either!


Oh you want numbers??? I'd give you a number but I've lost count...then add in guys over 55 that I've met off line...

Of course I'm talking about the last 3 1/2 years since I got seriously interested in dating and relationships, and sometimes during those 3 1/2 yrs I was seeing someone or in a relationship, a couple of those were in fact over 55...

So now you have 2 gals who've been asked by, or actually dated a guy over 55.

Hey guys, why don't one of you start a new thread generalizing that women between 45 and 50 are bad candidates for dates because they are menopausal. And of course all men know that menopausal women are ****es from hell, on wheels! and have less than zero interest in sex??
Can you imagine the beatdown you'll get??

Hey an unfair generalization about one gender/age group deserves an equally unfair generalization in return, no??
Cindy O
 gtadaizee
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 127
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 1/8/2007 4:44:40 PM
You know I was looking for a site about 55 plus and I guess I didn't look well enough so I started another thread. If it gets deleted so be it. I know that this thread has been around for a wee while but I want to stir it up due to personal interest in 55 plus issues, especially those related to meeting, dating and perhaps taking a relationship further.

dbndon. I like what you said and how you said it.

To the people throwing 'viagara' around, wouldn't I like to be around for you needing something or simply not caring. You might not always be what you are now.

I didn't date for a lot of years, now I am trying but like db, I do not date for the sake of dating. Never have never will. I would like to meet someone that I was totally comfortable with but perhaps with a wee bit of an edge. If I don't find someone then I will not have lost anything knowing that I have tried. I think a lot of +40 people (both genders) have been hurt and or just totally fed up. Part of their being says, put yourself out there and another perhaps more overbearing feelings are protect yourself, protect yourself but wouldn't it be nice. I guess what I am saying is that wouldn't it be nice to meet people (a person) without the pressure of that harsh word "dating"?

We have all learned graciously ( I hope) to thank someone for contacting us but saying without saying that we are not interested. GREAT. Keep moving, keep trying, don't give up and don't be in a rush. Above all, don't prejudge. Remember it is pretty hard to make a profile covering 60 years and finding something that may interest a wide range of people. There is so much quality out there and a lot of histories, and yes even that dreaded baggage, but we want to try. Handle it all graciously and keep trying. Now I'll grovel!
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 128
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Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/23/2007 7:57:20 PM
Have any men over 55 ever asked me for a date????

Not ONLY did a man over 55 ask me for a date....(he's 60, by the way).....he flew all the way to CA from PA for the date.....now if that isn't 'special', I don't know what IS!!!!


~DC~
 dbndon
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 129
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Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 1:30:50 AM
.

This is funny:
One of them told me that men over 55 lose interest in pursuing relationships with women.


I don’t mean to be too inconvenient here, but that’s not true at all. As it happens, I know quite a few single men over 55 years old. Are they all “looking”? Nope! But, none are against finding.

Truth is, many of us guys are quite content with the life we have. So are many women our age. Therefore, when we do meet someone who makes a good friend and companion, going to the lover stage becomes probable.

Ah hah, but there’s that friend and companion thing in the way of the love thing with us. Sorry about that, but few of the men 55 and up will date just to be dating. Why?

Personally, I do not need or want anyone “on my arm” evenings who is not my very good friend. Actually, I’d probably be embarrassed to do that among my friends. So, dating, just to be dating, is out.

On the other hand, there are a few women around here who I would be very proud to take anywhere as friends, if they wished.

Now we look to the OP. She posts:
I'm already involved with someone. I'm just here for the forums and looking to correspond with intelligent men. Curious about the male psyche.


Uh huh. That’s really “talk-bate” for guys over 55, huh. I mean, like who cares?

Most of us single guys have a life! Not only do we have family, many of us have various outside activities, including volunteering to help others. For instance, every retired man I personally know spends many hours a week volunteering to help in his community.

The OP said:
However, this year I contacted all these men in my address book and found that none of them had asked any woman for a date during the past year or pursued a relationship with any woman.


Baloney!

I would say the same thing: I don’t date.

Well, I don’t count lunches, dinners and drinks as “dating” cause we’re just talking as friends. So there! LOL

And there will be a big to-do coming up in honor of my great lady-friend soon, who died of cancer a year ago (a married woman), and I already know who will attend with me. She doesn’t know about it yet, but I am quite sure she will cancel anything else to attend that with me. That’s how we are: friends.

Over 55 indeed! I do more in the usual month than many younger men do in a year. But, I do not date. Never have.

But, when the ladies I’ve talk with in the net come to town for whatever reason, they feel free to alert me early enough. Then, I take them to places that interest them. But, that’s not a date. That’s friendship.

.
 ascuteasabug
Joined: 8/8/2003
Msg: 130
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 1:50:15 AM
"Not ONLY did a man over 55 ask me for a date....(he's 60, by the way).....he flew all the way to CA from PA for the date.....now if that isn't 'special', I don't know what IS!!!!"

Dee, and those of us that love you (and therefore him) are so glad he did!!!
 spunki77
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 131
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 2:06:57 AM
Well add another one to your tally. I have had men over 55 ask me out. Some I have accepted and some I have not. I think it is like any age, there has to be some attraction and also some compatability in what you are looking for and what you aren't looking for. I think by the time you hit 55 you sure ought to know what it is you are seeking, I mean we aren't teenagers anymore.

Just as with any age, you see your players and then once in a while you come across a genuine soul who is really in touch with themself enough to go after what they want in a long term relationship. I for one don't have time to cast in twenty different directions. I think most settled 55 and uppers are looking for some substantial relationship and not out there trolling for a thrill,
 Cultured Pearl
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 132
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 2:16:50 AM
I often thought it was 'just me', but men around my age never ask me out. I've been single since I was 40 and it's been that way the whole 16 years. My last two face to face dates that included table & chairs, food, servers and conversation (and we even rode in the same vehicle -his) , were with a man 38 and the other was 78. It's usually younger men that flirt and IM and email. Only coffee once from POF with a man 13 yrs younger. I have enjoyed what people have written here. My best friend is my age and a couch potato. Her husband is mid 70's and he and I go for walks and to the gym when I visit them! Would I like to date a man my age, or older? Sure ... Would I want the same things from him? Well, sure on that too. It's not hot sex with or without enhancers. Its humor, love of the same activities, a walker, a man who enjoys the gym, big breakfasts, compatibility. Perhaps the men my age that don't date are more like me than I will ever know. I keep braving the sea here wanting to date. Maybe they may have found their other niches and no longer care. I don't know where they are locally or here on the site, at least that is my experience.
 gtadaizee
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 133
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 5:00:50 AM
I'm close to 62 now and in the past year I have found that the men 55 + are getting more outgoing with women in their age group (55 to 67) than they were 10 years ago. I do find that men in that age bracket can be reticient to stick their neck out and agree to a meet. Some are very keen but so far I connect most of the latter with sex.

I believe that by the time we are of this age, we've been around, we've seen just about everything &/or heard it all, we may not have dated for a number of years even but there is interest. We are more than 1/2 way thru our lives and we know that time is now a factor we never considered before. BUT we are selective. Rightly so but I wish we would all loosen up a bit. If I like you enough to meet you then I'm not likely to snap your head off. There might not be that connection but I believe we can be gracious about it.

Personally I think it is all about the possibility of rejection whatever the age. Rejection and a wee bit of fear that we might just meet THE one. Then there are the people who were in one relationship for 20 to 40 years and I think that they are the ones who have the most difficulty integrating into the mature singles scene. It is difficult BUT one can only try and KEEP trying.

It is better to keep trying than to fail by not trying The big trick is to not take any rejection personally. It's usually not about you but about the other person. If you are like me and many others i.e. don't date for the sake of dating, then you just might have to for a longer time. But keep a positive attitude and whatever you do, do not develop that dreaded over 50 syndrome: petulant & peevish!

I was trying to get the right balance between positiveness and 'grovelling' in this message.

Oh and it is totally possible to be naive over 60!!!!
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 134
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Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 5:42:53 AM

(OP) One of them told me that men over 55 lose interest in pursuing relationships with women.


I think it depends on ones definition of "pursuing". It's more like not being interested in playing adolescent games. While it's important to get to know the person before jumping into a relationship, meaning combining two lives, it is not necessary to go slow getting to know the person.

Many profiles go on and on about men just wanting sex and one has to take time to know the person and go slow and date a number of different people so as to compare and .......As Spunki77 wrote in msg 131,
I think by the time you hit 55 you sure ought to know what it is you are seeking, I mean we aren't teenagers anymore.


In many cases "go slow" is just an excuse to go out with someone without the intention of anything growing out of it. That's what I found during my 40s dating and it appears, by reading profiles here, not much has changed. More often that not they had the high school/college days mentality of being chased. I'm sure if women put forth/exhibited a sincere interest they wouldn't have a problem finding a man. Being on the defensive, having to prove one isn't there just for sex, just isn't worth it.

As Ms. Twain so aptly puts it, "If you're not in it for love, if you're not willin' to give it all you got.....I'm outta here!"
 notard
Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 135
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 6:23:24 AM
At 57 and divorced for 12 years, I no longer date for the sake of dating. I now have sufficient single lady friends who are great fun to be around who are happy to accompany me when I need a companion at a social function. I do the same for them when they need a companion to attend an event.

Every now and then I meet a woman who I want to date. I usually ask her out if she is available. If she says yes we go out. If things go well we keep dating but if red flags turn up I am quicker to bail than I used to be.
 tomozzo
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 136
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 6:24:41 AM
i'm lovin' every minute of these posts. some positive some negative. it's all a matter of personal opinion, likes and dislikes.
 LadySunDevil
Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 137
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 9:33:07 AM
I think they are looking for younger women rather than women their age....I would like to meet a man in my age range but I only get contacted by younger men....guess it's the way of life nowadays.
 Flytime5
Joined: 3/20/2007
Msg: 138
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 10:39:37 AM
I have had a few ask to meet many 56-60 yrs old..Not on this site though..It was me that declined the invite.
 Thudpucker
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 139
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 12:52:32 PM
It's a fairly well-established fact that men over 55 lack the physical ability to achieve an erection (and speaking for the bunch, it is a very frustrating problem). Add the general "slowdown" of the human body and the "competetition" of younger horn dogs, the reliance on the quality of the relationship comes more into play.

It used to be a quantitative evolution. It is now qualitative (with a decidedly less emphasis on the physical aspects).
 fast649
Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 140
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 12:54:53 PM
im 53
love women
 fast649
Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 141
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 12:58:27 PM
i find most women cant believe im 53 my problem all i hear is your unique , and just want to be friends, or there is no nice guys left, u havent met me ha ha
 gtadaizee
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 142
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 1:04:37 PM
Thudpucker POLEASE don't base generalizations on personal points of view and/or experiences. Men at 55 can be the greatest lovers. Some people, no matter the age will never be great lovers. You really piassed me off with your comments. Sometimes it has everything to do with the combining of the two people, some of it really does have to do with medical conditions. I believe the stats are that almost 90%+ of male impotence is correctable. If I even thought for a minute that men lose it all at 50, I'd probably give up on life. But I'd sure want proof of same.
Fast you are still a young man and you've most likely got decadeS ahead of you! p.s. stop bragging!!!!!! Not fair!
 Thudpucker
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 143
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 1:09:16 PM
@ Qtadaizee

Argue with the medical journals.

There was a time when I could eat a dozen oysters and get 13 to work. Now, I eat a dozen of Chesapeake Bay's finest, and MAYBE one can do the job.
 gtadaizee
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 144
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 1:14:41 PM
Actually I just read 6 medical books on this very problem with male sexuality issues. I was reading them so that I had some insight into the problem.

Must be losing your eyesite, hmmmm having problems getting it up, memory problems (from another thread), now eye problems. Perhaps you need a medical evaluation. 3 prime symptoms for a specific STD. its g as in gtadaizee. No Q last time I checked.
 ascuteasabug
Joined: 8/8/2003
Msg: 145
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 3/24/2007 2:10:28 PM
Interesting Thudpucker that you should bring this up. It seems there are many men in their 50's, 60's and 70's saying they have no problem in this area. They say that it is their women that have lost interest or become unappealing so they seek younger women. When I see women my age and older that are truly beautiful, I just don't understand.
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 146
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 4/18/2007 9:19:14 PM
fifty,
i can't imagine wanting to date someone your age. i prefer men 7 yrs younger to maybe 3 yrs older. i'm guessing you've found some gold diggers. they'd probably date you if you were 90. you reap what you sow.
 babbyme
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 147
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Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 4/19/2007 3:18:59 AM
I think everybody wants to share life with a romantic partner, but there are different approaches to sharing. Dating is not the same as beginning, creating and developing a relationship, and some people are just satisfied and happy with non committal relationship. I also think that by the age of 50s, people might have fears of being 'done', financial issues to resolve or protect, and a bit of greed? still waiting for the 'soul mate'? Maybe it has to do with the fact that we grow too attached to our 'space' and independence?
However, if I look at younger men/women I also see a lot of 20's and 30's who can be described as the 55yo men/women.
Maybe fears and caution are greater than desires and 'luv'.
Bye now
B
 old bikie
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 148
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 4/19/2007 3:35:13 AM
hang on ill throw my oar in the water here, i did post a question that none answered, ie. if a woman says she only wants men 10 + years to contact her its fine, if a man does he is a old perve answer that for me ? also men over 55 dont look to go to pubs clubs fine as its a younger mans place now days but what people(most women) think is your ready for the scrap heap ,some maybe are but not all ,the male is as vibrant as a women he just has a harder time to know what todays woman wants as far as the man woman scenario goes it is a very different world to when we were 30 and under , we are not devoid of passion but its a world where looks are everything , cmon girls leave the hair colour out and the make up off how many fellas will look twice ? and as a side note we dont put on makeup etc to take away the wrinkles and years , its a badge to me that i have lived ,we are not here to dump women as a trophy its more a confidence factor , just my view
 gtadaizee
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 149
Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 4/19/2007 11:38:03 AM
So much self bitterness in here and so many generalizations from all of us.

FACT there are a lot of men still celebrating their sexuality AND there are a lot of women who NEVER have celebrated their sexuality and then there is everything in between!!!!!

I agree with men and women being confused by what the other really wants but that is the breakdown in communication or a shorter word for social intercourse = TALK!

I've never worn makeup and other than bed head I look the same in the morning as I did the night before. I love to get dirty and I scrub up just fine. I'm a wash n wear hair style and I can be ready in a giff BUT a girl does like some notice ahead of time some of the time.

So I say don't be putting men over 55 down. There is a lot of us gals who want them and it takes two to tango, samba, wrestle, etc....

My search falls in the 55 to 68 yrs, I've had a lot of younger fellows show interest and I've had a few fellows in their 50's show interest in me. I just wish people would reply to fishing emails. I sometimes suspect that the reason the younger fellows are interested in the older women is that they want that experience. In a lot of cases men aren't overly interested in women over 55 because not all women have retained their youthfullness and freshness and have never investigated their sexuality!!! When I use the term sexuality I am not just talking about sex.
 cpoorboy1937
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 150
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Men Over 55 Years Of Age
Posted: 4/19/2007 3:30:41 PM
alana you never asked me or emailed me at any time i'm always available you must not search the correct sites email me any time sweetie i'll answer ::
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