| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/24/2007 2:03:18 PM | I can't afford to be turned off by such women. Might be the only way I'll ever get a date. I am shy about approaching women and I have to take time to learn if they are married, do they have boyfriends, what are their personalities like and other things before considering.
At same time I don't ever come right out and ask. So in casual talk it might take me a month.
But if she was dating someone.... I walk.
Then there are my taboos. I don't ask out Co-Workers, Employees or Customers. That covers about 99% of all the women I know.
So it would be stupid for me personally to be offended. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/25/2007 1:39:31 AM | I've only been on a couple weeks....can't WAIT for that to happen!!!!!
That being said, I checked to see if I was on anyone's favorites list....one girl on there had in her profile "if you see I have added you it means I want to date you"....or something to that effect. Thanks, but I'll take a pass on the passive aggressives. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/25/2007 8:07:35 AM | I don't have the patience to sit back and see who bothers to write... when I'm active on the site, I do the contacting.
I maybe only get a 15% response rate... the men aren't that much better at contacting people back than the women. But if you think about it, just because you like the look of someone doesn't mean he/she is going to be compatible- besides looks (which sometimes seems to be the only criteria!) there's kids, religion, location etc that could exclude you from being considered by that person.
You can't take it personal.
But I believe you are much more likely to find someone you want when you make the effort to contact the people that seem to be a good fit. Ladies, if you aren't happy with the contacts you are getting, stop sitting back and waiting to be served- go get what you want! | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/29/2007 8:33:17 AM | Not at all, opimistichappylady, though given the experiences I've "enjoyed" over the years, and ESPECIALLY online, I would be startled and possibly suspicious if it came right out of the blue(anything too good to be true probably is).... but if there were some friendly interaction(a couple dates or casual do'ins) then I would be delighted to have the lady take the lead!! | |
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mapps
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Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 234 | |
| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/29/2007 8:40:45 AM | | Can't say that I mind, half of the women I have gone out with asked me out...guess they got tired of waiting for me to ask them...I do tend to take a long time getting up to that point. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/29/2007 11:42:10 AM | | I would prefer it because when I make a first contact it is usually "deleted unread". So at least if she contacts me first there is at least a 50% chance she might actually be interested. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/29/2007 12:13:16 PM | | I find it extremely attractive to be initially contacted by a woman...in fact I try not to do a lot of initial contacting myself generally because, after talking to a lot of girl friends that have tried this place out, that many find it a turn-off. Then again, that might be due to the way many guys go about things around here...lol | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/29/2007 10:51:08 PM | Gosh no!! If a woman contacts me first, then to me the ice has been broken and any unsuredness is eliminated. Not to mention that I don't really contact that many myself. To me it shows their interest and relieves any doubt as to whether or not they are responding and communicating solely on the basis of respect or mannerisms. (i.e.) If she makes the first contact then her interest is obvious, but if I contact her, how will I know if her interest is genuine? And not based on politeness or the feeling of reciprocal obligation etc.
Personally, I just go according to my intuition. If I see something about someones profile, pics, statements or interest, then I will let them know, respectfully. Doesn't matter if they're in Georgia or Australia. I share any positive vibes and feelings I have with those for whom I have them.
And in return, Kharmically, I get compliments from others to whom I haven't said a word, and some that I have. I am flattered when she contacts me first, but I don't consider it a necessity. Then again, I am not steam-pressed in search of a date either.
I have been here since May of 2006, and I have shared emails and IM's with some really nice ladies, and a couple not so nice. Either way, whether I make first contact, or she, it doesn't turn me off at all. To the contrary. It's all good and my experience with the forementioned has been enlightening and wonderful to say the least.
Thank you all,(You know who you are :)!!
God Bless
Scott | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/29/2007 11:53:41 PM | ^^ woot! I'm a nice lady! YAY ME!
I've done the first contact thing, and it is really a carpshoot (spelling mistake intended). I have had some nice comments about it, and I've had a lot of no responses so who knows. If I see a profile that interests me, or a comment in the forums which catches my attention, I will email the person and say so. Same with if they add me to their favourites or viewed my profile. I have no problems initiating first contact at times.
Although it does help if chocolate is mentioned repeatedly. That usually catches my attention faster.  | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/30/2007 1:06:07 AM | It doesn't turn me off...opening messages don't really turn me on either.
I imagine my response is much like most women's response to email. Check the profile, read the email, make a decision, respond appropriately.
I don't get deluged with mail, so I always have time to read and respond with my best attempt at tact and politeness if I'm rejecting, or my best attempt at light sarcasm, cheekiness, and humour if I'm open to the possibility.
Ladies, just because you don't get a response, it doesn't mean the guy doesn't like getting contacted by women necessarily (although it could, we are all individuals after all), he just didn't see the possible connection you did. Don't stop trying. It's something guys deal with all the time. Just take a look at all the unread/read/deleted whining that goes on. :P | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/30/2007 4:36:05 AM | Not at all, it makes a refreshing change when a woman makes first contact, I doubt many men would be bothered either. But in reality women only make first contact about 25% of the time (that was a guess) .
I am more than happy to recieve a message from a woman, and dont see her as being pushy. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/30/2007 5:17:55 AM | No, its a turn on, .., Until I view their profile and see that they dont meet the criteria set-forth in my profile.. I am sure you wimmens get that all the time though...
In thier defense, they usually acknowledge that they arent what I am looking for... | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/1/2007 12:50:09 AM |
I would prefer that the woman made the first move then I would know that there was some interest.
I couldn't agree more! I've found myself too often writing a few sincere paragraphs as an introduction to a woman who has piqued my interest, only to see my message was read/deleted. Yeah, I get it, that means she's just not interested, so I'm not going to go off on a rant here about no response (although such a lack of courtesy can make me thankful she didn't reply). Like most here would probably say, I get far too many emails from folks I'm not interested in, and the ladies I like and write to aren't interested in me for their own reasons. Such is life on a dating site!  If you don't have a thick skin and a healthy sense of humor, you probably shouldn't be here.
The only turn off to a woman writing to me is when she does the same thing that some many gals complain on the forums that men do; namely, write a very short response, like "Hi, want to talk sometime?" If you don't have something more to say than that, its safe to say we won't be talking. Usually I don't even do those types the courtesy of a "thanks but no thanks" reply, like I normally do. If someone puts some effort into writng to me, it takes very little of my time to at least be a gentleman and reply, even to decline, but a "hi, how are you?" deserves just as little effort in reply as they put into their email. | |
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tork15
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Joined: 3/13/2007
Msg: 247 | |
| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/6/2007 12:09:22 PM | | Personally, i take it as a compliment, somewhat of a "boost" if you would. one of the first replys to this question said " either we like what we see or we dont" is very true. so no it doesnt hurt, you might just be mailing men who are not attracted to your pic if you post one and if you didnt, you should. it will help. and in fact i think in general most men welcome initiation of contact from a woman. that is what this site is for regardless of gender after-all. myself however, take great pleasure in doing the persuing. it helps me reasure myself that i can achieve what i put my mind to. Its a learning process on what and what not to say as well. put it this way dear, try and try some more, you are bound to find someone that either likes what you have to say, or your picture enough to respond. dont give up, just find what works. the biggest tip i could give of my own opinions, is to show confidence. happy fishing! | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/6/2007 2:15:52 PM |
Just curious how men feel about women making the first contact. Is it a turn off? Does it make the female appear pushy? In my experience men that I make the initial contact with will sometimes reply some times not.
In this day and age I thought men would be more accepting of a women making the first contact. That does not appear to be the case.
OP: In answer to your question, I would be honored if a woman made first contact. There is nothing wrong with this. | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 249 | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/6/2007 4:16:15 PM | Life is way to short for me to wonder if I can have something I want and not find out what the answer is. Positive, negative or no reply at least I know. Read / delete me if you like. I won't spend a second wondering why.
If it is a turn off for a guy he wasn't the right one for me anyway. | |
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