| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/17/2007 12:44:22 PM | I will be the first person to put my hand up and admit that I am someone who doesn't always respond back to people who have e-mailed me. However also being a recipient of the "no response" back, I know how it feels, so now I try to at least respond to the person and let them know if I am interested or not.
I have slowed down on e-mailing people because I am constantly getting no responses. It can be discouraging sometimes so now I wait and see if I get anyone to e-mail me. However that doesn't seem to be working out so well either because I don't seem to be getting anyone who remotely matches me in any way.
I agree with what the person in a previous post said..."you get what you pay for" | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/17/2007 5:48:51 PM | Nice to hear this....... Women don't like rejection any more than we do...... That's why I'll never EVER write a first email.......... Why would anybody want to be out on that limb that is being sawed off by the "you're never going to get a date" cartoon character? Girls don't wanna take a chance? ( You've got cats)...... We don't wanna either...... ( Beer beats the hell outta cats!!!)........ Just the way it is.......... You disagree? Let's hear it........... you're wrong................ | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/17/2007 6:24:26 PM | rb and others:
I think you might find that your problem is with message restrictions. Sure all of us would love to find that special person right next store but with what most of us hope to find it probably just can't happen that close. I think you should remove the 75 mile limit if you want to find somebody.
As for what most of us are looking for, I think we as a society have somehow got our heads up in the sky or somplace else I won't mention. We are looking for somebody that matches all the activities that we enjoy when we should be looking for somebody that can make a commitment and are honest. We need to find somebody that matches our lifestyle, do you enjoy camping or cruises? Unfortunately most are more worried about age and looks instead of integrity. We need a few common activities but that should be way down on the list, we certainly don't need to find somebody that enjoys everything we do, but I think that's what most are looking for, probably in 5 years even you won't still do half of what you do today. Common activities will come with time, commitment will give you that time. It takes two that will commit to make it last, but only one to destroy it. I would guess there's maybe about 70 percent that would commit, but I haven't discovered anyway to judge it beforehand easily. Time and observation on how different circumstances are handled can give you some clues, but still it's nowhere near an exact science.
I've come to these conclusions by thinking about marriage through the ages, 200 years ago parents decided who you would marry, 100 years ago you chose from maybe 50 possible mates, since travel was difficult. 50 years ago you maybe had a couple thousand choices. Then divorce became common place and not looked down upon, I'm sure that has ruined a few marriages that would have survived if they had stuck it out and fought to keep it going. Now with internet we have hundreds of thousands, But we can't find anybody suitable. We must be looking for the wrong or unimportant things. The percentage of good happy marriages has stayed about the same at maybe 50% through it all.
Commitment, honesty, lifestyle and a few shared activities, that's what we need. Pull our head out, Get rid of message restrictions and maybe we can get lucky and find these. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/17/2007 6:36:00 PM | I quit a great job and moved 1400 miles for someone in 2002....... ( Man...... what an idiot I was.....!) These days........ You sure as HELL better live down the street! I'm not about to lose everything I own again!!!!! Seattle is gorgeous.... but i'll be broke for years for want of a GF........ Stay home............ Use yer hand.......... Cheaper and less hassle........... | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/17/2007 7:31:47 PM | Of course not, any guy would be mad to say they dont want a lady to contact them..
Personally it gets a little annoying having to always be the instigator...I thought we lived in modern times...girl power and all that jazz
Also yes we are visual just like women...and if anyone says different they are fibbing!!
We all know what we like and dont, its all about personal taste, however I wil always say your not my type rather than not replying as I find that rude to ignore an email when people have taken the time to write | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:12:30 AM | First as I read through all of the posts it almost seems to be %100 percent that guys like to be contacted first. I view this is a connection place and however that happens is part of the process. A lady contacting me means i did something right already so I find it ludicrous to ignore that oppertunity.
Secondly I don't think I can muster a theory on your question of contacting a guy getting no repsonce but being added to their favs list. to me thats seems utterly idotic and the only type of explanation I can think of is not a good one. probably a guy who gets off on sitting in the corner and watching. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/19/2007 4:24:59 PM | I think it's a great thing when a woman will make first contact.The main thing I like is it shows she is secure and confident, which are two great qualities I like in a woman. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/24/2007 1:47:25 PM | | I actually prefer women who make the first move/contact. Equal opportunity means women get to do things that men take for granted. Maybe chauvinist males have a problem with this, but they are becoming dinasaurs anyway. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/24/2007 2:03:08 PM | | I like it, wether or not its a confidence issue is besides the point for me. I just like the fact that she must know what she likes, at least physcially. Sure does take much of the work out of it, makes it more relaxing in my oppion. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/24/2007 5:00:04 PM | | Nope. It doesn't happen out on the streets as much as it does online, but it's always nice when someone actively shows interest in you. And i could care less about who makes the first move, the only benefit to it being me who makes the first move is that i'm sure to be attracted to that person lol. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/24/2007 7:38:52 PM | | I suppose it all depends on how it is done and if in all honesty the other person was interested in your advances. That being said, even someone is not interested it in no way gives them carte blanche to be rude. One of the down sides to the anonymity of internet dating is the common perception that simple manners are unnecessary. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/24/2007 7:48:34 PM | | I must be hitting up the wrong men too. I see most men saying they welcome women making the 1st contact. However, when I do it, I tend not to get much of a response, which makes me hesitant to do so. I suppose that fear goes back to High School when I asked a guy to the prom and was turned down. I found out through the grapevine that he thought I was being too forward. I also have found that sometimes the guys think I want to jump thier bones. I know I need to get past all that....lol | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 293 | |
| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 6/25/2007 8:22:41 AM | I must be hitting up the wrong men too. I see most men saying they welcome women making the 1st contact. However, when I do it, I tend not to get much of a response, which makes me hesitant to do so.
I don't think that these men were turned off by you contacting them. No response = not interested whether it was because of the other person's pics, lack of common interests, age, distance, smoking/drinking habits, having multiple kids etc. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/14/2007 11:05:53 PM | | No not at all not even deep down sus---, being a hottie dose not make anyone an expert, it time and practice, I think it is a huge turn on done in the right place, not in the car just meeting pulling out of the parking lot. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/15/2007 5:40:08 AM | "Does a women making the first contact turn you off?"
I'll let you know when it happens....
actually no, just like in real life, I dont ever choose women, I've more or less fallen for those who've pursued me. Those I've pursued and been with have been the biggest disappointments.
a female advance isnt a turnoff unless its a mailbomb or text bombing or something... | |
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d.t.o
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Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 299 | |
| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/17/2007 11:15:48 PM | Not at all,I often wonder if some of the women are interested,ie; viewing your profile
numerous times..of course it could mean nothing.I will always message a woman I find interesting/compatilable.I would like to encourage the ladys to make first contact if interested.I for one will return/respond to all messages,may take some time as I'm busy with work,but I will answer.
Anyway..here's to wishful thinking Peace brothers and sisters..DTO | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:55:34 AM | Okay
so from the age of about what 12/13 to 34 I made the first move
so since I did 20 years time making the first move and paid my dues by way of rejections I decided it was time for greater equity in our modern society
-- so now I dont make the first move at all
So if and when a woman makes the first move I will be okay with it and welcome it | |
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