| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 4/27/2008 11:24:40 AM | | There is no problem with the femanle making the first move. In some cases it is actually better. This site has many people on it. Numerous emails sent are unread/deleted. That is to be expected, females will recieve far more first contacts than males. But as a male, when you read a profile that seems to have similar interests and then dont even get a response it is frustrating. I would suggest that it is safe to think that a female making first contact would be welcome. Especially when there is a degree of compability that makes it a likely connection, why would a male object? | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:32:57 PM | quote]ust curious how men feel about women making the first contact. Is it a turn off?
I'm with most everyone else in this thread, its not a turn off at all (helps if the poster is cute though )
I've had sooooo many ladies message me already (yeah right!! ) that I've vowed to respond to every mail I receive.  
Lee | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:45:27 AM | Not at all....
In fact, I find it very refreshing..... Men are always putting themselves out there, on that limb, telling a woman that they are interested,,,,, and then waiting.... Although, it's exhilerating.... I would like to share the pleasure and pain.... Of first contact.... LOL.... | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/3/2008 6:06:56 PM | | NOT AT ALL!! I have spoken to many of my friends who are females on this site and they feel by making the first contact shows their taking charge in knowing what they want , and some of the guys feel taken back by this , but I always say to them it just goes to show that she is someone worthy to speak with for a woman who wants to step up and show that she too can take the initiative is AWESOME..IS THAT NOT THE PURPOSE OF THIS SITE TO MAKE THE FIRST CONTACT!! | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/5/2008 6:09:43 PM | | Being as my type is assertive and go getting then it is feasible that these sort of women will make the first move, especially compaered to my slow, will get around to it attitude of late lol | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/8/2008 5:19:43 AM | Not at all because you know they're interested.
If you message them first and then they message you back it could just be out of politeness.
I used to always wait for women to message me first, but now I'm just not interested anymore. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/8/2008 6:31:42 AM | It's probably already been posted. Looking at the numbers disparity between men/women on pof I think that women should be making first contact with whom they find interesting. This way instead of dealing with dozens of guys who they most likely are not interested in they can meet and talk with men they are interested in. Then maybe POF will become a place where people actually do meet someone. I see so many posts on here from people who never seem to meet anyone. It really doesn't make any sense..
As for the question "Does a women making the first contact turn you off?" I can't see how it would. It's not a "turn off" or a "turn on" though its nice to see someone was actually looking at your profile and was interested enough to contact you. I'm sure thats not as an exciting prospect for most women on here. But for many guys its probably nice to have someone at least to chat with or have a chance to get to know someone running under the assumption they are single and wanting to meet someone. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:12:36 AM | women have the vote as well now. I am sure that emily would turn in her grave if she heard this question. Any man (or woman) insecure or rude enough to ignore a first contact to them isnt worth knowing, even if only in being polite enough to answer a message from on here.
In my experience most people do answer. As there are a fair few men out there who get no response to their own initial contacts with women it appears to not be gender or age specific, merely bad manners and ignorance.
I have met some really nice people on here. The others are not worth worrying about. You carry on doing whatever you think best and do not worry about the ones who dont answer. It is their loss and not yours.
Take care. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/8/2008 1:06:11 PM | optimistichappylady wrote:
Just curious how men feel about women making the first contact. Is it a turn off? Does it make the female appear pushy? In my experience men that I make the initial contact with will sometimes reply some times not.
In this day and age I thought men would be more accepting of a women making the first contact. That does not appear to be the case.
Well, "In this day and age" as you put it...it happens alot more than it used to, I myself prefer it when a woman makes the first move..I don't believe it looks like the woman is "pushy", after all it's the first contact you as a male have had with her, now after that and she keeps it up after you have expressed your not interested and she keeps it up, yes then she's pushy...I'd say go with your feelings...you feel like making contact, do it...most he can do is say no. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:24:14 PM | Honestly, I do appreciate it as being a gentleman who was
engaged 3yrs ago, I've sometimes mis-read signals in not only
thinking someone was interested and made a move, but I have
missed out on opportunities with women who were interested
in me and could not tell the difference.
I've been in and out of relationships both short and long
term. Some of the first moves were made by me and
accepted, and others the woman made the move.
Either way is fine with me. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:37:04 AM | It is NEVER a turn off when a woman makes the first move. I am actually very flattered when someone sends me a reply.
The problem is either most live far away or just aren't the type of lady I am seeking. Or I get one message and then that's it. I send a nice reply, ask a few basic question or state that I look forward to getting to know them, then... nothing. It's like talking to a wall. I don't understand the thinking behind sending me a message, say you are interested, then not following up on it.
If you follow up and not like what you see, cool. Sending me a message and then nothing is just wasting both of our time. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/9/2008 8:20:05 AM |
"t is NEVER a turn off when a woman makes the first move. I am actually very flattered when someone sends me a reply.
The problem is either most live far away or just aren't the type of lady I am seeking. Or I get one message and then that's it. I send a nice reply, ask a few basic question or state that I look forward to getting to know them, then... nothing. It's like talking to a wall. I don't understand the thinking behind sending me a message, say you are interested, then not following up on it.
If you follow up and not like what you see, cool. Sending me a message and then nothing is just wasting both of our time."
I agree there, whothehellknows ...If you're not interested say so...I can take it, but don't continue to waste my time ..Hell, a screw off response is better than none at all | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:18:31 AM | | Women making the first contact is better and not a turn off. You know off the bat she's interested. It also takes the pressure off (and there's enough pressure on men to make the first move). Also women making the first move lets them walk in our shoes for bit. Balances the playing field. Some of my female friends I speak to say they would never do it because they're afraid of rejection (ok and men aren't). I always tell them to step up, take a chance and you might be surprised. Most guys won't shoot you down. Most of us aren't insensitive lunk heads. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:12:04 AM | tyree1972
I couldn't of said this any better myself. I know women face a lot of
pressure, but guys have a lot more pressure.
Because in the end, it always comes down to the woman's decision
as to pursuing or not.
If we had some more direct idea, then we'd know how to proceed
and give our own signals back. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:26:56 AM | I agree with most of the posts here, it'd save women the hassle of eew..yuck...nah, that they seem to find so annoying.
The next question is..........are they taking any notice of this thread?????? | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:21:05 PM |
I agree with most of the posts here, it'd save women the hassle of eew..yuck...nah,
Havent read all the posts - there's an incredible 24/30 pages of them - but in consideration of the above I might just to get confirmation of that....
In my experience, its not worth sending a first contact mail. Say, if I had sent 10 first contact mails then only one of them would have had a reply. Men dont appear to like to be chased.....
I'll try take notice of this thread... | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:00:50 PM |
In my experience, its not worth sending a first contact mail. Say, if I had sent 10 first contact mails then only one of them would have had a reply. Men dont appear to like to be chased.....
Umm...what do you think happens to men? Women who make first contact with no response are just starting to learn what men have dealt with a long time. If men took the same attitude, I doubt anyone would ever get together except for the rare few.
Women just seem to have a tough time accepting this. Then again I guess guys had to learn to accept it at one point. I have seen the same thing happen to female friends who try unsuccessfully to engage guys when we are out. They just lose all hope when they get rejected. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:42:49 PM | Seriously?????? Is this an issue? Why not just be true to how you feel? Say something if you feel the need to...
Is this really a gender specific conversation or is it a matter of personal preference, chemistry and connection? | |
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