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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/4/2008 2:32:33 AM | | It's been my limited experience that women on Singles sites largely ignore the average bloke when he messages them. Doesn't seem to matter what you say or how you say it you just get ignored. No responses saying "not interested" just nothing. Apparently this is really common from what I'm told. So if a woman makes first contact then it's a great thing . Otherwise you get a bunch of ignored messages , you talk to no one and get no opportunities to meet someone online . Like I said , limited experience but might just be me I guess. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:49:30 AM |
Just curious how men feel about women making the first contact.
To me, any woman who makes 1st contact probably has more guts and character than the average woman.
So I view that as a very positive thing. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:59:29 AM | It's been my limited experience that women on Singles sites largely ignore the average bloke when he messages them. Doesn't seem to matter what you say or how you say it you just get ignored. No responses saying "not interested" just nothing. Apparently this is really common from what I'm told. So if a woman makes first contact then it's a great thing . Otherwise you get a bunch of ignored messages , you talk to no one and get no opportunities to meet someone online . Like I said , limited experience but might just be me I guess.
Bikebuilder, I'm learning this too as we speak. I have had two girls actually reply back. Still, no one coming to me, but it'll happen. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:56:43 PM | | I'm not shy but it does get a bit dis-heartening when you go through the tutorials on how to write a nice message and every time you have a go you don't even get a "No Thanks" reply . I'll give this a go for a while and go back to trying to weed out the "I'm Single For Tonight Only but I'm Really Married" types that seem to haunt the pubs & clubs locally from the few genuine single women in my age bracket. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/6/2008 2:06:39 AM | | Funny to read about men stating that women do not reply to their initial contact. Us women, find the same thing with men. All I would want is some honesty. If you are not interested in speaking with me just let me know. Nothing like seeing that your email was read and deleted without a response. I will continue to contact men and one day I might find the one who was flattered by my contacting him first. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/6/2008 2:18:16 AM |
It's been my limited experience that women on Singles sites largely ignore the average bloke when he messages them.
This happens for the simple fact that the average guy is not messaging the average girl. Once in a blue moon you will throw the average woman a bone and message her , but it's usually a "wanna fck" message.
Doesn't seem to matter what you say or how you say it you just get ignored. No responses saying "not interested" just nothing.
So your point is what? I message average to below average guys all the time and I almost never get a response either. It's not true that women get inundated with messages on dating sites. I may get one message a week , and they usually are not the kind of people I want anything to do with. They seem to think I would get all flattered and excited about the fact that they are "willing" to fck me. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:03:24 AM | This doesn't exactly answer the question, although it seems to be on topic. I've done some research and found that I've gotten women to at least look at my profile when I e-mail by changing the way that I write the initial e-mail. It seems like the best solution is to start talking to women more in person instead of doing the PoF thing, which is mostly a waste of time.
And I guess to answer the question, I would like being contacted first, but responding depends on the person. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:32:33 PM | To answer the original question - No. It is most definitely not a turn off! There have only been a few women who contacted me first, but I loved it. It's about damn time women became proactive like that! : )
As for those b**ching about not getting a response, well welcome to dating. sometimes people are not interested in you. No big deal.
I have several female friends on this site and they just post a profile, then sit back and sift thru responses. ( If we men did that, then we might as well not even be here! lol)
They get dozens everyday and do not reply to most for two reasons. First, there are too many to send a polite no thank you to them all, and second, it seems to encourage certain types to argue or get bitter about being rejected.
So although sometimes I do feel a bit "pouty" about a "read deleted", it's ok, I'll live. (There are a million women at the grocery store, the gym, and on here. I'll find the right one eventually.)
However, I do think it is rather classy when someone sends a quick " thanks, but no thanks" and explains why. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:40:31 PM | | I would love if a woman would write first. I think its great. I dont mind writing a woman first though. Even though for the most part mine get read and deleted. Amazingly writing on a website is just as hard as meeting someone in person for me. Being introverted seems to not change from word of mouth to word of typing lol. | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/8/2008 6:34:00 AM | optimistic...
studies have shown that women make the first move whether they consciously realize it or not. (in person)... a smile, some type of gesture etc...
online i suppose it is a bit different as many parameters that are evaluated in person cannot be accomplished.
selection is much better online yet the "physical" and emotional "sensations" that occur in person, eye contact, "gut feelings", etc have little chance of manifesting themselves.
online, as i see it, forces one to go after what they are attracted to as far as the pic and profile. yet with all these two and three line profiles ... there is very little to evaluate and get a better idea of the person. pursuing this person might end in a huge waste of time.
you know all this im sure....
but as for a woman making first contact, i get comments almost every day about my profile... most say i am arrogant, but hey, i am very picky. but i enjoy the feedback and some have turned into some fascinating conversations.
but i enjoy the medium and the interactions regardless of the outcome.
there are only 3 that i contacted first and it was only to say they had a good profile or similar encouraging words. all of them were too good to reply. similar to your observations with men.
just send your mail with no expectations, delete them from your box and continue on. if they read em, they do, if not, they dont, no skin off your knee.
good luck...
^^^ I totatlly agree with all of the above, sometimes you might get a decent friend out of someone who msges u is polite & has something decent to say, as it seems alot of people just read n delete because they dont 100% fancy the person. Some people dont even come out that great & pictures some do. But what i will say is this to those vain people ever wonder why yr single in the first place ??? | |
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| Does a women making the first contact turn you off?
Posted: 7/10/2008 6:08:16 AM | Well guys,
One big APOLOGY!!!!! Was brought up on the Golden Rule and try to treat others how I want to be treated. Sometimes us women have met the bad apples and been pushed away which causes not so nice stereotyping. I am just as guilty of ignoring some of the first contacts. Now that I have been 'schooled' in men's reactions I will make the time to atleast acknowledge each msg I recieve. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE INSIGHT.  | |
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