| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 7:33:01 PM | I am not one of those women who can cry at a drop of a hat just to get their way. I would never do such a thing, it takes a lot to make me cry but when i do if he feels guilty about it than I'm probably right anyways  | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 27 | |
| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 8:49:40 PM | Is a woman crying any more of emotional blackmail than a man yelling and punching holes in the wall because his applecart has been upset? Unfortunately, you'll run into folks that get emotional over little things, and those rights aren't exclusively owned by women. It isn't right to use tears, yelling, or other "temper" tantrums as a weapon when there are disagreements.
In an argument or disagreement, there are few "winners" when someone cops the attitude of having to be right. The most important thing is to be heard and to be respected, as well as learning to negotiate in the relationship. | |
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Megd
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Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 28 | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 9:29:38 PM | | If someone emotionally hurts me I withdraw into a numb, frozen like state. Not a word or tear just numbness. Later when I am all alone I cry me a river. It really does play ho on my well being but the person that hurt me never knows. | |
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Megd
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Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 31 | |
| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 9:30:44 PM | | oh my...still bent out of shape are we? The last time I will defend myself about this, and just for hte simple fact that I dont feel as if I should have to...I never said I lived a life void of human contact...it was a question that i never once said was how i lived my life, just curious Ive already stated that in the thread... | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 9:33:06 PM | | maybe im just a little out of date but i cant deal with woman that resort to this tactic. when they start doing this i just walk away and keep walking. i have no time for women that will use this tactic to try and make a point. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 9:36:58 PM | | well megd some people don't read back through the threads, so they don't know what you've said. don't take it personal. i know there have been times where i have read the first post and then went to the last page skipping everythig in between. some times that's not a good thing to do, but other times necessary. | |
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Megd
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Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 34 | |
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aviso
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Joined: 1/20/2006
Msg: 35 | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 10:13:21 PM | I've always been able to cry 'on command'. Did it only once, as a joke, and my parents fell for it so completely I never tried it again (and yes, I can still do it). I cry at movies like Armagedon and the ever-popular Bambi. I cry at perceived slights. Sometimes I cry when I think about my ex and his girlfriend.
But mostly I cry when I'm angry and I HATE it because others do see it as an attempt at manipulation or weakness. It's really a sign to take cover cause I'm about to blow a gasket! Reading through the threads, it seems to me that most of the women who have answered wouldn't consider using tears as a weapon. Sometimes tears are just tears, I guess. | |
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Lutra
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Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 37 | |
| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 11:11:38 PM | | pathetic...I can't imagine crying to win an argument. I'm much to bull headed for that. I may cry later because the situation was frustrating, but never as blackmail. I don't like being manipulated, and therefore try not to do it to others. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 11:27:46 PM | not gonna throw things at you OP, this is a valid point. In fact it doesnt just happen in romantic relationships but family ones as well. How many times have I seen my sister fake cry to my parents over something I supposedly had done, have you ever seen a mother sniffle if she wanted an adult child to do something but wasnt getting her way ??
But Yes I have also seen this done in relationships. Usually how to tell is how quickly it dies down once they get their way. And the redness of the eyes. OR how quickly it turns to anger if they still dont get their way. Gee funny how the tears dry up real fast
Personally I havent done it. I just cant lower myelf to that kind of emotional 'playing' although I will admit to putting on a sad face for attention. Shame on me !! but who knows maybe when/if I get married or a long term r/ship again and I run out of resources.....I might have to go the whole hog and break out the tears... [ to me crying is always a last resort, I dont like it and I try to avoid it except with movies and tears of laughter]
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 11:34:24 PM | | i agree with you TYGRESS I THINK FOR THE MOST PART THATS WHY WOMAN CRY.ALTHOUGH THERE ARE THOSE THAT DO USE TEARS TO GET WHAT THEY WANT OUT OF MEN BUT FOR THE MOST PART I THINK YOUR REPLY FIT MOST WOMAN.IN THE SENSE OF A REASON FOR TEARS WITHOUT MANIPULATION.I MEAN AS A MAN IVE LOST HOPE OR FELT DEFEATED AND BROKE DOWN I THINK SOMETIMES ITS HEALTHY BUT OF COURSE IF THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE CRY LATER,SAVE THE KIDS . | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/21/2006 12:38:03 AM | I can imagine little girls crying and emotional blackmail is behind it.
Once life shaped us into adults and being + 40, tears don't roll down so easily. Surely there are situations when eyes get misty, a 'lump' is in throat or we are emotionally low. And there is a place for shedding tears too, on my own.
Using emotional blackmail? Only matter of time and it will fire back.
buzz | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 41 | |
| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/21/2006 12:50:45 AM |
maybe im just a little out of date but i cant deal with woman that resort to this tactic. when they start doing this i just walk away and keep walking. i have no time for women that will use this tactic to try and make a point
Understood C3.. but how do you distinguish between real tears (genuine hurt) or fake tears (emotional blackmail) ? Just curious. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/21/2006 4:12:48 AM | | I'll cry if I've been hurt badly, but I don't use it as a manipulative tactic. I'm expressing my emotions. Some people do use it to manipulate someone, but just because a person is crying doesn't mean that they're trying to control you. They may just be hurt or angry. Using tears as a manipulative tactic isn't something that only women do, my ex could turn on the tears on a moment's notice. He knew that his tears made it harder for me to stand my ground. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/21/2006 5:25:08 AM | | Just for the record I havent cried since I was a kid. I dont think its a healthy thing either. I can feel sad, hurt, resentment and anger but still no tears. In a way, i'm envious of those who can and inside I crave that release of emotion. I think for myself after admittedly being a cry baby a lot when I was a child and victimized by bullies, I reached a point when I fought back and refused to let ANYONE see me cry again. I do agree that males can use this crying tactic as a form of manipulation as well, i'm sure I did too as a child. If a woman is crying because she truly needs to from being sad or hurt, I do want to hold her, especially if she is my SO. If she's doing this as a last resort not to admit she was wrong, I cant respect that but nonetheless, you never know for sure so yeah, i'm a big softy as soon as the tears fall down. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/21/2006 5:59:52 AM | | Many interesting replies here. There are women who have learned since childhood that tears get them what it is they want. There are also men who never cry, no matter what, because they were told to suck it up as children. Crying isn't unhealthy, but when it's used as a manipulative tool, it is. Believe it or not, I cry...Bridges of Madison County makes me cry every time Funerals usually bring tears, and the break up with someone you loved turns on the faucet. These tears involve emotional sadness...there's no hidden agenda. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/21/2006 7:08:19 AM | @Ksue
You are absolutely correct......Men go on their rants too. The idea is that people need to respond the same way to each. These are designed to get a reaction, even if the person who does it is so entrenched in the behavior that they see it as perfectly justified. Its still wrong either way....with either sex......I am beginning to feel like the "wrong" police but, I feel that I am simplifying bad behavior in a relationship into one word....its WRONG
I dont care how bad she pissed you off. The hole in the wall is going to be there alot longer. Trust me, I know, but in my case, it was things being thrown at me, for, I dont even know what reason.....I dont live there anymore, but the hole in the wall from them is possibly still there. Get where I am coming from?? Nothing is the end of the world until you die. So dont act like a two year old. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/21/2006 7:14:54 AM |
Bridges of Madison County makes me cry every time Funerals usually bring tears, and the break up with someone you loved turns on the faucet. These tears involve emotional sadness...there's no hidden agenda.
oh I can totally relate to that statement. Doesn't matter how many times I see that movie....Clint standing in the rain...and Meryl holding the door handle to run to him. ....and I am bawling like a baby. Funerals too. I went to a coworker's husbands funeral and I had never met the man but it was just so darn sad and I felt so bad for her.
But apart from emotional sadness, I cry when things are poignent like extreme home makeover when the families see their new homes after dealing with the bad things that have happened to them and now seeing it all change for them.
A hidden agenda means that your brain is ruling your heart. A person like that probably wouldn't cry over something that "touched" their hearts. Wouldn't you be able to spot that type of person? | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/21/2006 7:19:56 AM | i cry when i am hurt
i cry when i am sad...if you do something to make me hurt/or sad i cry.
are you doing something to make her hurt or sad....well think about that before talking or arguing your point in a disagreement...maybe she won't cry.
this guy i know...who's name shall not be named. would say very hurtful things and or break up with me though email or over the phone....so that he would not have to see or hear me cry. i've come to the conclusion that he was a punk azz biotch- aka-coward.
so next time you don't wanna see her cry....do what ever it is you have to do via email or phone. preferably email, cause over the phone you will hear her cry.
or get some baseballs and deal with it cause, its a tool woman have mastered.
this is me during a arguement "oohhh my gawd, how could you...yousay something like that
please don't flame me ...i'll make me cry
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/21/2006 7:54:34 AM | I wish I had a good answer for you but the last few relationships I've been in have been with Capricorns and they don't give a shit. Your liver could be hanging out and they may or may not call 911!
Red | |
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