| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/21/2006 8:22:30 AM | | I've heard that crying is nature's way of relieving stress. If allowed to cry a couple of nice, big tears, there is a relief that follows that allows me to move forward and cope with a situation. It's a gentle form of emotional overload. Just trying to put out a fire. No alligator tears. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/21/2006 8:28:11 AM | | well sum women (and guys) prbably use crying all the time to get what they want suppose it depends on the person. It's not the way that u put your point across that makes her cry is it. I don't cry often in disagreements I get annoyed lol x | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/22/2006 2:11:51 PM | << only cries during the sappiest movies..oops, almost forgot, I think I felt a tear when I wrecked my favorite car.
LadyPagey, though you seem to have left something out of your post..I'm sorry about your pain. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/22/2006 2:22:18 PM |
That being said, I can relate Ainsel to your comment. I learned several years ago the reason I cry when I am angry (because I do). It stems from way back when I was a child and of course the societal and family shame placed upon a girl being angry. Girls don't get angry, that is not very lady like etc. So, we learned to suppress our anger. How does that suppressed anger erupt? Well it leaks out in the way of tears. Why you might ask? Well because amazingly, it was apropriate and lady like for a girl to cry. That was acceptable behaviour. Now of course, that is the readers digest, non clinical explanation, but you get the idea (I am hoping).
So, if I were to erupt into tears in the course of an arguement (can't remember the last time I argued about anything) you could suffice it to say that I was really angry. I cannot help the waterworks when I am some choked. Intentionally evoke the tears? Not in this lifetime!
Bingo, themaven. I'd say a lot of women in our generation react in the same fashion. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:13:38 PM | when the tears show up in the context of disagreement, it's time to table the discussion. there's too much appearance of manipulation to make it an honest discussion at that point.
if we pick it up later and the tears make a quick appearance, then i figure it IS a manipulation. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:32:24 PM | | Ohh,,yeah..dont fall for it....it's something they never grew out of when they dont get their way....tell her next time...Look..i'm not your parent..it wont work on me...and find a new girlfriend...and..dont forget to tell her how attractive it is when she's crying like a spoiled child... | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:41:46 PM | Well I personally only cry when either I am very affraid, lose of a loved one, in bad physical pain or someone has hurt my feelings (usually on purpose and with malice.) So I can't help but ask what did you say when these women starting crying? I find it hard to believe someone would cry just because they are wrong about something.
DA** if that were the case I might be crying half the time (lol). | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:02:52 PM | Women tend to be more emotional than men, so the crying is part of the emotional pendulum we swing. Most of the time it's not manipulative at it. Deal with it. It is part of being a woman and our sensitivity and liking pink, purses and shoes.
I can write a book on how manipulative men can be. They just do it in a different way.
We have to deal with it. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:24:30 PM | | hi... I can not speak for all women and not all women behave the same but I would have to say that generally we were created as nurturing, feeling, emotional beings ... I think that a good woman cries when her heart is broken or when hormones are changing .. she is not using it to blackmail anyone, she is expressing her feelings with tears, they just happen naturally as a response to sadness, anger or frustration... some women may use tears as a tool but if you are a man who thinks all woman do this you are missing out on what makes a woman soft and nurturing... blessings | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:33:24 PM |
Women tend to be more emotional than men, so the crying is part of the emotional pendulum we swing.
You mean women tend to have less control over their emotions.
It is part of being a woman and our sensitivity and liking pink, purses and shoes.
No, it's not part of being a "woman".
It's what separates you from women who aren't as sensitive to emotional outbursts.
Crying and being capable of deep emotions are not mutually inclusive. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:46:14 AM |
It's what separates you from women who aren't as sensitive to emotional outbursts.
It's a known fact that woman tend to cry more than men do, of course you will run across women who never or very seldom cry, just as you will run across men who cry often. Someone broke into my car tonight at work (busted my window into a million little pieces) stole 300.00 cash (only had that cash because I returned something during my lunch break) and stole my debit card (again only had it because I thought I might need it today) and DL...when I saw my car and realized what happened, I went though a series of emotions....finally I just started crying. I would hardly consider my crying to be an "emotional outburst"....while I suppose crying IS exhibiting your feeling outwardly....that was a derogatory thing to say IMO. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:57:34 AM | I cry pretty easily, and yeah, it's probably a conditioning thing. For the most part, I consider it a healthy release- I shed a few tears, and then I'm good to go. I tend to cry out of anger and frustration as much as anything else. I always let the man in my life know that I probably will cry from time to time, and to not take it personally. It's no big deal.
I have used tears as a manipulation tool, especially when I was younger. I'd learned early on that a few crocodile tears turned my daddy into putty in my hands. Unfortunately (for me, lol), it doesn't work on everyone, and I quickly learned that it's not cool to use it in a relationship. I'll admit to still occasionally sinking to the use of tears to try to get my way in a retail exchange environment.  Oh, and I did it just a few days ago to get someone to see things my way while I was in the hospital. Hey, it was important! | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:25:58 AM | | There is a big difference between different times that your partner cries and after a while you tend to be sensitive to the type of emotion behind it and the situation of course. You know when a person is in real pain and they are always the worst ones to see a person crying for. I suppose it is a bit like the boy who cried wolf and some people cry a lot and it is hard to tell the emotions behind it and people tend not to worry about them too much but when other people cry, you know the situation is really bad. When a person cries a lot and it isn't very genuine then it does lose its meaning and they are the ones that lose after a while as there partner probably doesnt take too much notice anymore and may not notice genuine tears of pain or whatever. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:24:20 AM | Oh ... and one more thing makes me cry... futility.
Seeing people jump from the Twin Towers... knowing... and feeling for them...
...that what was ahead of them... was better than what was there if they stayed behind.
The futility and fear and the bravery it took for them to do what they did.
Yes I cry... but only over important things. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:51:38 AM | | I don't like to cry infront of anyone at anytime. My tears are a private matter becasue it is about me and not the other person. For blackmail? If I was totaly honest, YES I have when I was young in my teens with my first boyfriend. Lesson learned; it did not matter. LOL | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:07:43 AM | This thread is from 3 years ago, but whatever.
I don't cry publicly unless someone dies. If I feel I'm going to start crying, I get the hell out of the situation and go get myself together. I don't like crying publicly and I'm not real comfortable with people who do it around me...unless of course someone died.
With regard to msg. 73 - yes, 9/11 was a time where I cried a lot for a week or two - to myself if possible, but still. Also in my area 2/20/2003 was the date of the Great White performance and the imfamous Station Fire. I knew a some of the 100 people that died personally, so that was tough.
Most men don't know I cry so they can't really say what it means. A guy or two has cried around me, but it was for good reason - and it wasn't about me.
Judging from my female friends that do cry - I'd say probably not. Seems to be an acceptable way to express emotions that are legitimate to the situation, or emotions that aren't acceptable to display as women, and they don't seem to have much control over it. Sometimes it's for no reason at all - I don't get that, but I don't try too hard to figure it out. *shrug* | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:49:36 AM | | idk-in my case -m i hate to cry-especially in front of my SO......most men i've dated actually liked to see me cry-b/c i am always a hard a**.....so for mr-i never cry just to get my wqay-its more like i am so pi$$ed off oh sh*t my face is leaking...damnit! | |
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