| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 3/27/2006 11:46:58 AM |
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex I disagree ... I have many men who I consider friends and we never get intimate. It's wonderful too because I can go to them anytime and they are there for me. Most are not married and some have girlfriends.
One once told me that if and when he ever has a girlfriend and she has no tolerance for his friendship with me ... too bad, he's not giving up my friendship. We have known each other since high school ... OMG that's over 40 years. Yea ... he's a real sweetie ... he's the one I've known the longest. We can talk about anything ... we cry with each other over lost loves (hey ... guys need to cry with someone too) ... hmmmm the list goes on.
(Running to get my reunion registration turned in so I can attend and see him!)
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 3/27/2006 3:34:30 PM | I have in fact a few friendships with the opposite sex..we have went out to the movies when nothing is going on..one is basically like a brother to me..I could not fathom anything other being a friend. I have had another friend but he met someone online..we still email but decided to chill on meeting for dinners anymore..that's fine with me. My third friend IM's me once in a while ..he gives me updates on his life and the friends he has met online..I have met him a few times but he too is just a friend that likes to talk about everyday things.
Yes, you can have friends of the opposite sex.. | |
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 3/27/2006 9:49:56 PM | Let's see.... I understand where your Amercian friend is coming from.
Its not a big shocker
Most people get together because of a physical attraction firstly and then the rest follows
for those whom the relationship did not go further , some stick around hoping for more... hoping ( the other shares the same feelings, the intimate side ) We become friends only after both parties agree it will not go further. Cannot have a healthy friendship if one wants more than the other.
For those who accepted it they stuck around, those who couldnt handle just being a friend left... it all worked out well,,, we accepted the facts.
Yes they exist...........but few .......... and only if the other has accepted the fact that it will never go any further than just friends. Only then could both have a good healthy friendship.
Both knowing NO SEX, just friends
of course not talking about friends with benefits lol | |
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/1/2006 12:47:03 PM | plutonic
adj : of igneous rock that has solidified beneath the earth's surface; granite or diorite or gabbro [syn: irruptive, eruptive]
So I hope she means platonic, because plutonic really would be impossible
Platonic is totally possible.
Most people (usually guys) say that it's not possible because sex is always underneath. Maybe it is, but if neither party takes it that route, it works fine. I've been platonic friends with many many males and if it bothered or distracted them (no sex with me) then they hid it very very well. | |
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/1/2006 1:19:37 PM | I think it depends completely on who you are. I have many female friends but I can't have females be my best friend and keep it completely platonic in my mind. I always feel that the girl (well person, just girl in my case) you love should also be your best friend. I guess that thinking is what kind of dooms me, if I get too close to someone platonically I end up falling for them which is really hard to overcome if they still feel completely platonic, luckily I'm one of the most persistant (aka stubborn) guys I know in this regards.  | |
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/1/2006 1:20:45 PM | I believe it is. I have a male roommate, and he and I have never been more than friends. I act like one of the guys in front of him, it's like he's my brother. When we first met and became friends, he did like me, but that slowly passed the closer friends we became. Same deal with my other close friend. He too liked me when we first met, but the more we hung out we just remained good friends, he's one of my best friends, he actually introduced me to my ex boyfriend. Sometimes sex does happen between two very good friends, but only when you both find each other sexually attractive, or in extreme times of grief. I think it depends on the individuals, rather than the situation. All in all, it is possible just to be friends with the opposite sex- if you want to be!  | |
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/1/2006 1:29:48 PM | I've had plenty of male friends, and dating any of them would be gross because it would be like dating my brother...
And I'm from North Carolina, so the OP's friend must be from the sticks or something. | |
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/1/2006 1:29:53 PM | Platonic relationship? Not if there's a straight man involved. Sure I have female "friends" but we're not close and don't meet often and they don't compare to the level of my male friends.
Women can effortlessly have male friends and consider it platonic, hence all the guys here complaining that they're too nice and women only want to be their friends while picking ***holes over them.
Most women I've ever become "friends" with came as a result of wanting to be more. Call me shallow but I like interacting with good looking women and if they're attractive and we can develop friendship, why not more? (granted over the years I've learned that even attraction and great friendship are far from enough for a relationship).
I think that a platonic frienship can develop if:
1. The two participants have known eachother and been friends since early childhood and have more of a brotherly bond
2. One of the two is gay
3. If the man is in a relationship
4. If the man is not attracted to the female... but then again he wouldn't be her friend unless see number 1...
A man cannot be friends with an attractive woman no matter what he says... | |
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/1/2006 6:38:40 PM | | I think that it is more on the rare side to have a plutonic friendship with the opposite sex but it isn't out of the question. I went out with a guy on a few dates, we kissed and made out a bit....but then realized that nothing was ever going to happen. Now we are friends and we are both in happy relationships with other people. I don't think of him in any sexual way. I think of him as a brother now actually. I wouldn't do anything with him. That said if it made a boyfriend uncomfortable I would introduce them at least so that he could see that it was just a friendship. I love my friend but he is a friend and nothing more. | |
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/2/2006 1:25:54 AM | I know its possible. I have a very close (girl) friend that i've known for about 10 years. Its always been just friends and nothing more.
But perhaps it just depends on the circumstances on how the 2 people meet. That may have alot to do with it. | |
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:10:33 AM |
(Msg 170) I think that it is more on the rare side to have a plutonic friendship with the opposite sex but it isn't out of the question. I went out with a guy on a few dates, we kissed and made out a bit....but then realized that nothing was ever going to happen.
That's the way I see it. I think sex or the possibility of sex has to be explored or it will always be in the background. | |
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/2/2006 8:24:22 AM | | I know this for a fact. My Ex. had way more guy friends than girl friends. I went to serve in afghanistan for 6 months and find out when I come back that she had cheated on me with 4 different guys that I know of. All of which were suposedly her friends that she could never even dream of doing anything sexual with. | |
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/2/2006 9:15:32 AM | Of course it's possible.....it happens.
In my opinion, it only really works when neither person is attracted to the other.
When one is attracted and the other is not there will usually be problems.
I've been on both sides of this.......I really don't want to be "just friends" with
someone I'm that attracted to......I CAN....but the desire is still there, which
can make some situations uncomfortable. In these cases I would have been very
willing to take things beyond friendship. I've also had female friends that were
attracted to me when I wasn't to them and have felt the uncomfortable feelings
from that side. In this situation I tend to keep my distance more to be sure
I'm not sending the wrong signals or "leading her on". Women don't generally seem
to be as in tune to this kind of thing either......meaning that they don't realize that
the signals they're sending (intentional or not) may be taken as "leading him on".
Often a guy will stay "friends" in hopes of something more developing later and
some women seem to be oblivious to this.
..........so for me anyways, it only works if I don't want to have sex with her and
she doesn't want to have sex with me.........and those feelings don't change. | |
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/4/2006 8:21:09 PM | I've had "platonic" relationships with women my entire life, so anybody that says that can't happen is full of rubbish, but MOST of MY male friends can't do that. For them, a platonic relationship with the opposite sex equals someone they just haven't slept with yet.
Bottom line-possible, not an "everyday occurence." | |
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/11/2006 6:54:54 AM | | I went out for drinks with a female friend of mine that I have now known for almost ten years, we had some drinks got a bit tipsy, as we usualy do, had some laughs and then I walked her to where her boyfriends band was playing hugged her and said good night. Nothing has ever happend between her and I, we are both attractive, and we have known each other while we have both been single. People are not ruled by their sexual desires, we are more then this crude matter. | |
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Breaca
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Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 174 | |
| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/11/2006 7:57:34 AM | I've had plutonic friendships with males all my life.
I am especially thankful for those relationships because - when I've gone through difficult times with partners, it is my male friends who have offered me balance and understanding of the situation.. from their "male" perspective.
My female friendships gift me something just as precious as my male friendships. It has to do with the bonding I feel with other women. Yeah... it's a sisterhood thing.
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| u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 4/11/2006 12:50:59 PM | | Pretty much every female I know at this moment is a platonic friendship. And a couple are ones I'm pretty close with, not just acquaintances. I don't really see the difference. There are women I like as friends and am not attracted to in a sexual way. There are ones I am attracted to but there are circumstances that preclude me pursuing anything romantic with them (they are married, or they shot me down when I did ask them out, or something like that). | |
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