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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/24/2006 3:25:12 PM | Ask her to be your partner for shooting pool..Invite to shoot a game of darts..Walk up to a table full of girls and say you're all by yourself and hoping they'll keep you company. The more girls at the table, the more chances that at least one will say to have a seat..Bring one of those laser pens in with you. Shine it on various parts of her body. Make yourself seem interesting, they may try to speak to you first..
Edit-manof33-You give women too much credit if you feel that bad after rejection. Remember, YOU'RE #1. She's lucky you're offering to make her day! | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/24/2006 3:58:13 PM | Let me get this straight. "Shine a laser pen on 'various' parts of her body." This does what, exactly? Impresses her that I make enough money to buy a laser pen??? I'm just lost on the whole thing. Regardless, I don't have any laser pens. I have a couple of laser sights, but I'd hate to remove them. I just think the whole "Gee, look at me shining my laser on various parts of your body" thing is stupid... but hey, if it's been working for you, drive on.
Darts? I don't do darts. I suck at darts.
Billiards? I actually prefer to keep the table to myself; I think about the most I'd figure to say to some dame playing against me would be "Your turn." I don't see much opportunity for conversation when playing billiards.
As to rejection, I have this irresistible desire to wire three pounds of C4 to her ignition. I just don't handle rejection well. And like what was mentioned, women do the choosing. The whole thing is pretty much a lost cause from the git-go. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/24/2006 4:10:58 PM | Dang Sniper, you're really trying to shoot my last post to h*ll, ain't ya!
Most(repeat, MOST)girls suck at pool. You can teach them how to play..If you suck at darts, maybe a woman can teach you. Got many chicks playing both of these games.
I actually don't own a laser pen myself but do see them quite often in the clubs. It's just an attention getter. If you shine one on a girls chest, chances are you'll get her attention. A minute later she'll ask to borrow it.
Actually, I KNOW I'm a great looking guy and can talk a line of sh*t a mile long, therefor don't give a second thought to just plopping myself down at their table or just dancing up to any of them. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/24/2006 4:13:20 PM | Well, see, there you go. Enjoy that with which you've been blessed. There are a lot of homely guys like me that no about of flashing from laser sights is going to help.
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/24/2006 4:19:59 PM | | Had to look at your profile, Sniper. Like you said, you've got some decent selling points! Shoot, your hieght alone gives you plenty of advantage over us shorter guys. You've got to remember, YOU ARE # 1 and GO FOR IT!!!! | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/24/2006 4:29:13 PM | I'm not #1. I don't even think I'm in the top 75. Depends on how target-rich the male environment is for the female in question, I suppose, but I never kid myself about... myself.
I sure wish I had your hair. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/24/2006 4:44:52 PM | Walk through the bar, making eye contact with every woman that interests you, and gauge their reaction. If they hold it, or look away then look back again, they're interested.
Once you've got a mental list of the ones that are interested in you, pick one, walk up to her with a big smile and lots of eye contact, say hi, and ask her for her opinion on something. Get her talking and keep her talking. While you're talking to her, touch her every chance you get... hand on her back as you move past, lingering fingers when you pass her things, that sort of thing. Then find an excuse to disengage after a while, 10 minutes maybe, and walk away.
Engage all the women you were interested in this way, one after another, with time taken out in between to chat with your buddies. Get to know them all, they're just people. They call this mingling. Don't set yourself up in advance to be desparate.
As you spend your evening enjoying chatting with pretty girls, you'll find that some of the ones you chatted with before, given the chance to mull over the experience of being with you in their minds, will discover that they would like to do it some more and will approach you the second time. These are the ones you're going to be getting phone numbers, slow dances, casual sex, etc from.
Number one rule: It's not about the results that come after, it's about having fun chatting with pretty girls. As long as you keep that firm in your mind, you'll be the guy who's smiling and having fun, and that will make you fun to be around. I mean, really, do you personally find slowly escalating desperation pleasant to be around? Then why should they? | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/24/2006 7:26:31 PM | | Try this one on ---- chat with a couple of the ladies that you personally find a bit less attractive first --- especially if they have good-looking friends with them. One, you'll be more relaxed. Two, the good-looking girls will wonder what's going on, and you'll be able to talk to them later. and Three, you may not even want to talk to the other women after you've talked to the one you choose first!!! | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/24/2006 11:30:48 PM | Never have a problem with the ladies that I would look at as just a thing. But now the ones I would really like to get to know thats another story. Maybe its all to do with being so badly hurt thanks to the ex.  | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/24/2006 11:38:11 PM | | Bring a platonic girlfriend with you to the club. They'll come to you. ALWAYS worked for me. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/25/2006 7:13:53 AM | In any situation... but most especially in a loud bar... BODY LANGUAGE is essential. You need to learn how to master it.
Walk in as if you own the place. Make your movements slow and deliberate... have good posture! Hold your head high and keep your chest forward with your shoulders slightly back. Its small things like those that give women the impression that you are confident.
I also want to elaborate on the eye contact tips you got... yes eye contact is important but it can also make or break you. When you make eye contact with a woman HOLD IT. Too many guys look away when they are caught looking... this makes you look weak and submissive. And you will notice its a hard habit to break, but now that you know about it, you can actually work on it.
When you hold eye contact, give her a slight smirk and think to yourself "You are all mine" keep eye contact until SHE looks away first. The inner dialogue will keep you from being nervous, and who knows... maybe ESP comes into play LOL In either event... It gives her the "alpha male" vibes from you for lack of a better term. It SCREAMS confidence and you didnt even have to say a word. If she smiles back, thats your signal to go over and say hello. If not, pay attention... if she looks back and holds eye contact with you again thats your invitation to approach. Too many guys stare too long and it makes you seem creepy and stalkerish to women. The rule is within the first couple of eye contacts or you are out.
Also remember... women are SUPER competitive with one another. Use this to your advantage! Mingle a lot... talk to women and men alike and make them laugh. When a woman sees you talking to, but not "hitting on" other women it makes you look cool and in control and she starts to wonder about you. It also makes you look popular, another attractive trait (this is a big part of the definition of "charming"). She won't have her guard up as high when you approach her if she sees you have been talking to a lot of people. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/25/2006 7:28:46 AM | I am sitting in the bar, notice this guy walk in. Maybe I could be interested, will watch him to see how he handles himself.
I notice him
Walking through the bar, making eye contact with every woman that interests him, and gauging their reaction.
Me: Okay, he's cruising.
Once you've got a mental list of the ones that are interested in you, pick one. Get her talking and keep her talking.
He's picked me. Great. Now I'm talking, telling him all kinds of cool stuff. Guess I was the one that piqued his interest most.
While you're talking to her, touch her every chance you get... hand on her back as you move past, lingering fingers when you pass her things, that sort of thing.
Too much touching, of my personal body, by a complete stranger is a huge flag. You can leave now. Respect is a better tool with me. Don't come on like you already have license to me.
Then find an excuse to disengage after a while, 10 minutes maybe, and walk away.
He hangs around for 10 minutes and, poof, he's gone. Notice him completing this same circuit with a number of other women at the bar.
Me: Well so much for that. Guess he wasn't really interested. Nice talking to him.
Engage all the women you were interested in this way, one after another, with time taken out in between to chat with your buddies.
He's talked to about ten different women here and now he's back to talking to me. Guess they blew him off and I'm consolation prize or we're all just numbers and anyone will do or 'What an ego.' Either way, I'm not playing.
And for the laser pointing - maybe if I'd had more than two Bloody Mary's. Don't know. Never had anyone try that particular come-on device. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/25/2006 7:59:56 AM | Gotta be careful though...
I saw a lot of womanese in that post  the worst person to get advice from on women... is a woman. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/25/2006 8:00:22 AM | Thank you. My pleasure.
^^^^Then where exactly are you gonna get it? An Orangutan? And, yeah, advice on any group from a few samplings of that group is just that - each person's opinion. As I stated, the laser pointing might even work on me - IF you catch me after a few and I'm having a great time. Would depend on my mood on any given day - but isn't that true of all of us?
Guess what this really means is 'Who the hell knows what will work on any specific human being? I've walked up to men and said, "Would you like to dance?" Reply, "No, I can't dance." My reply, "I don't care. I just love to dance. You can stand there like a coat rack if you like. I'll make you look good." And THEY are in a club wanting to interact with women!? | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/25/2006 12:29:57 PM | What ever happened to "Hi, my names' _________, what's yours? I took a public speaking course and part of the course was how to have a conversation with just about anyone. You find points of interest that require more than yes and no answers.
In your head picture the following in lots of different colours, you choose: A house, with a gable and people running all around it, a ruler for a chimney, a glove coming out of the chimney, a plane shooting out of the thumb of the glove and then recreational stuff falling out of the plane. Now that the picture is firmly planted they are jump off points for a conversation.
Where do you live, where are you from, are your family still there, how long have you been here, etc. then the glove is a tickler for: what kind of work do you do, do you enjoy it, whats the best part, etc. then,,,the planes, where have you been, where's the best, or most intriguing, best memory of the place...etc, then the recreational stuff, what kind of sports, hobbies, past times, and what do you like about them yada yada.... you are well on your way, but first go up and say Hey,,,,, You're welcome..... | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/25/2006 12:43:39 PM | All I have to say is that when I'm hangin out at a bar I expect to be approached and usually am. That's kinda what its all about. So here's some tips:
1. Smile
2. Ask her somethin like "are you having a good time" or "how are you doin tonight"
3. If she smiles and responds then she might be interested introduce yourself
4. If she continues to smile and introduces herself back then offer to buy her a drink or sit down and talk to her some more
5. Hang out with her until the end of the evening and then maybe invite her out for some coffee or breakfast (I know I like to eat after going to the bar to help sober me up) and if she can't, get her number and call her the next day.
DON'T WAIT TILL LAST CALL TO TALK TO A GIRL
many girls take this as an insult.
Personally, I won't even talk to anybody that waits this long, its kind of like they are just picking you because they are running out of time. So annoying. Or if you do say something like I know its after last call but I've been trying to work the courage up to talk to you all evening. Can I please have your number? Make her feel like out of all the girls in the bar/club that you could be talking to, you're talking to her.
And best advice of all....be yourself! | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/25/2006 12:49:54 PM | Sorry Sniper, the hair ain't for sale!lol
Any1real, thanks for pointing out the laser. It's just another something to have fun with, and when everyone is drinking a little and laughing, the laser can be just as much fun as a bunch of those crazy match-tricks. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/25/2006 4:27:51 PM | No matter what I'd ever say to a woman, I firmly believe that she instantly thinks "He wants to f**k me."
Seriously. Doesn't matter what it would be.
Me: "Hello, my name is _________, what's yours?"
Her: "He wants to f**k me."
Me: "Hello, how are you tonight?"
Her: "He wants to f**k me."
Me: "Hello, are you having a good time?"
Her: "He wants to f**k me."
Me: "Hello, I've lost my car keys and I think you're standing on them; would you please step a few inches to the side for a moment?"
Her: "He wants to f**k me."
Me: "Hello, I'm highly radioactive and have several infectious diseases."
Her: "He wants to f**k me."
Me: "Hello... I laid my laser pen down somewhere around here and I can't find it... have you seen it?"
Her: "He wants to f**k me."
Me: "Excuse me, but I noticed you're a short fat Democrat who enjoys smoking cigarettes and I can't stand people like you at all."
Her: "He wants to f**k me."
No matter what, even if it's just an honest "Hi, how the Hell are you?" greeting, I know... no matter what, she thinks... "He wants to f**k me."
So, it's a lost cause. I mind my own business, drink my drink, smoke my cigar (if I have one), and leave people alone. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/25/2006 4:43:04 PM | Smile, wink or just say hi!! It's that easy. I find it difficult myself to approach men in bars myself so I will smile, stare or if I get real brave I will walk by and smile and hope he will talk back. You never know if you don't try.
good luck!! | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/25/2006 4:44:05 PM |  sad but true sniper... thats why I suggested what I did though. You have to have her comfort level as high as you can and her guard down as low as you can. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/25/2006 4:59:06 PM | Actually we know that's what going on in there.
See, that's my point. It is NOT "what's going on" inside ME. I'm 48 years old. I'm not ruled by an overabundance of testosterone. I'm at a point in my life, and have been for MANY years, where I'd just plain enjoy an honest-to-goodness conversation with -- and, God forbid, companionship with -- a decent woman in whom I found some interest. Lumping me in with "all men" is a huge, huge mistake. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/25/2006 5:21:05 PM | I can honestly say, with my right hand on the Bible and shot full of truth syrum... no, I do not think things like "Um, wonder what she'd be like in bed."
Further, when I do wonder... anything at all... I don't start out with "um."
Here's the deal. I see "a" gal. Here's how it goes. Any ONE of the following answered "yes" is a stopper. That is, I totally abandon all interest in said wench.
Is there a ring on her "ring" finger?
Is she fat?
Is she ugly?
Does she smoke?
Does she look like some prissy-a** b**ch who's never been dirty a day in her life?
Does she have tattoos?
Does she have body piercings?
Any ONE of the following, if answered "no," will keep my interest just a little longer... at least to the next question.
Is she wearing more on her ears than I make in a week?
Is she wearing more on her feet than I make in a week?
Does she look like she's here looking for the fattest wallet in the place?
Little "extra benefits" are:
If I hear her using manners, like please, thank you, and you're welcome. I really go stone cold with a mannerless b**ch.
If she seems like she can carry a conversation that has NOTHING to do with what "he/she" said today at work, what happened at such-and-such party, et cetera. In short, if she seems like she has a brain AND uses it, that'll help keep my attention.
Things like that. I look to see if she's got a gut. I look to see if she's got an a** the size of the Grand Canyon. I like good posture on a dame; I hate women who slump. I also find it annoying when women wear low-cut tops; I figure that THEY figure their tits are their best assets -- not their brains -- and so that's what they think they should promote. I guarantee you I'll NEVER waste time talking to some dame with her tits flopping out all over creation. I figure such women have IQs of zero or less and, as such, they hold no interest for me.
I'd be tickled to death to hear some woman telling a friend about some hunt she'd been on recently, or some rifle she'd just bought herself, or something along those lines. I hate prissy dames. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/25/2006 5:38:20 PM | Hah, this has been a fascinating thread...
I'm actually headed out right now to meet some friends for trivia night at a bar. I might try and employ a few of these ideas, just to see what happens. Since I lack a laser pointer for the ladies, maybe I'll substitute a dry erase marker... that'll wash right out of her blouse, right?
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