| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/26/2006 12:15:32 PM | Well I suppose I'll share my pickup secret with the men on here, and it's a simple strategy: let the women come to you.
My best friend and I stumbled upon this little gem of wisdom one day clubbing when we were 21 and have lived by it ever since, and for us, it has worked great. Before we were like any other young guy in a club, getting up and dancing and trying to go after and introduce ourselves to the girls we found interesting, mostly to no avail. We'd go in scoping the room, our heads rubbernecking this way and that, and it must have been a pretty funny sight to see for any women in the bar.
One day we gre so frustrated we decided screw them all and let's just dance for the sake of dancing and have some fun... Within 30 minutes we were surrounded by girls, none directly approaching us at first, but the fact that they flocked towards us sent off an alarm in the back of our heads... Finally we sucked it up and decided to spin around to some nearby girls and say hi, and they gladly joined our circle and that became the beginning of a very good series of years for us 
Though this strategy didn't get us numbers every single night we went out, not a night went by that we didn't at least meet people, and that sort of potential opens up all sorts of avenues. Looking back on those days I think I can explain this success due to three things:
1) We were both known as good dancers, not many people, men or women could keep up with us (but a lot of girls loved to try)
2) We weren't actively seeking anyone, we were just having a good time, and I think the women picked up on that and wanted to join in the fun (and we were always nice enough to let them, be they hot, cute, plain or fat, we'd just talk to them differently depending on attraction)
3) The other horn dogs in the club basically chased them to us, we were some of the few guys not groping away, so we appeared safe to be around and actually were 
As our confidence and social skills grew, it became more a question of "what types of girls do you think we're going to meet tonight" rather than "do you think we'll meet anyone tonight?"
Words of wisdom from the regular-clubbing retired This trick may not work for all guys, but it sure as hell has better potential than shining a laser pointer in her eye just so she falls into your arms (howling in pain because you've blinded her)   | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 77 | |
| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/26/2006 12:23:59 PM | No offense Tiger, but two guys dancing either alone or semi-together wouldn't be the guys I'd be running to but rather running from. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/26/2006 12:56:48 PM | OK, Tiger, you can dance with your boy "friend", some other guy can play with the laser pen and I'll just walk up to a woman, like that foxy AlO3 above me and ask her how she's doing! Each has their own method, whether in a bar or elsewhere.
Hey AlO3, how are you? Will you take me cruisin' after the bar closes? | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/26/2006 12:59:13 PM | No offense taken AI103, but a lot of clubs have packs of guys out chasing girls, though they usually are in numbers greater than 2...
It wasn't always just us, sometimes we brought girl friends from work, eventually we had another two recently single buddies join the mix and learn the art, and they had great success with it too. 
I think the only time we felt we looked gay was one time when we popped out for dinner at a Mexican restaurant; because we're best friends for over a decade, we've developed similar tastes, and without realizing it when the waiter came about we ordered fajitas for two, a starter to share, and two large banana daquiris... The minute we finished giving the order we immediately looked at each other, then the waiter and said "we're not gay" and the three of us started laughing our butts off | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 80 | |
| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/26/2006 1:02:29 PM | I really was kidding Tiger.. and I know what you're saying 'bout the club scene but some of "us" aren't so hard to approach
@KING.. You know I'd go anywhere with you. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/26/2006 1:59:07 PM | You're effin awesome, Ai! Wanna get married?
Shoot, now I gotta think up sumim for the OP! Hmmm, OK, here's you a dirty match trick that's sure to get a laugh..or a slap.
__ __
l_l l_l l l l
Above are two manholes and three workers..Use matches or straws.
By moving any two matches or straws make one large manhole, while combining every match into the completed outcome..Give up yet?
__
l_ l_l N T One big manhole!lol | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/26/2006 8:25:27 PM | | A man in a bar that acts like he's listening, doesn't flash his money AND has manners!! Tell me we'd spend our first conversation without a foul word coming out of your mouth and I may have to let you send me flowers; heck I may send them to you. lol | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/27/2006 9:17:41 AM | | dont compliment... thats a fast way to get shot down... ask her if she'd like to buy you a drink. works for me. | |
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BradPt
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Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 84 | |
| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/27/2006 11:54:23 AM | | Wow Sniper....I thought I was bitter. You need Jesus..lol. Just playing..I'm turned off by many of the same things you are. I think sometimes the problems I have meeting women is because I have developed pre-conceived notions based on their looks. If a woman looks put together...I think high maintainance...maybe we need to just open up and accept people for who they are. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/27/2006 4:16:27 PM | Kingfisher, if you are great at picking up women and talking to them, what are you doing on here then? | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/27/2006 4:30:23 PM | Unless you just want to get laid, I would not suggest looking for a woman in a bar. With the loud music, and tons of "opposition" (other males) it is going to be an uphill struggle all night long.
The fact that one (or both) of you will be drinking isn't a good start either. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/27/2006 4:41:06 PM | I am sitting in the bar, notice this guy walk in. Maybe I could be interested, will watch him to see how he handles himself.
I notice him
Walking through the bar, making eye contact with every woman that interests him, and gauging their reaction.
Me: Okay, he's cruising.
Once you've got a mental list of the ones that are interested in you, pick one. Get her talking and keep her talking.
He's picked me. Great. Now I'm talking, telling him all kinds of cool stuff. Guess I was the one that piqued his interest most.
While you're talking to her, touch her every chance you get... hand on her back as you move past, lingering fingers when you pass her things, that sort of thing.
Too much touching, of my personal body, by a complete stranger is a huge flag. You can leave now. Respect is a better tool with me. Don't come on like you already have license to me.
Then find an excuse to disengage after a while, 10 minutes maybe, and walk away.
He hangs around for 10 minutes and, poof, he's gone. Notice him completing this same circuit with a number of other women at the bar.
Me: Well so much for that. Guess he wasn't really interested. Nice talking to him.
Engage all the women you were interested in this way, one after another, with time taken out in between to chat with your buddies.
He's talked to about ten different women here and now he's back to talking to me. Guess they blew him off and I'm consolation prize or we're all just numbers and anyone will do or 'What an ego.' Either way, I'm not playing.
And for the laser pointing - maybe if I'd had more than two Bloody Mary's. Don't know. Never had anyone try that particular come-on device.
If you've already decided that you're not interested in me because I am socializing and meeting people instead of sticking to your hip from the moment we meet, then I don't want to get to know you anyways. It's not a game, it's called being social and mingling. Notice how much it resembles what you'd do at a party if you weren't single? That's because it's the most natural thing in the world and not a game at all, which is the entire point.
Oh, and this approach doesn't involve me coming back to talk to you a second time. If you want to talk to me a second time, you will come talk to me. If you don't, you won't. As long as I can dance and drink scotch with my buddies, I don't care... there's always tomorrow, and there are plenty of fish. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/27/2006 5:46:53 PM | I think it's different for all women. With me, you have to be funny. And, I don't care what kind of sense of humor you have--sarcastic, witty, dry, goofy... If you can make me laugh, you're more than halfway there~~~ | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/27/2006 7:19:34 PM | Craneman asks why I'm here if I'm good at picking up women.
Truth is Craneman, I love women! Not one to keep though. I actually enjoy having all sorts of them as friends..with potential. Not only do I go out with the women I meet in real life but I also enjoy going out with as many women from the web as possible...I can answer you honestly Craneman and not fear a potential date reading this, because I'm honest with the women who e-mail me. I'm not commited to one woman because I prefer to go out with one or two different ones every week.
OP-Just treat women like the people they are. No need to make things complicated, just have fun. | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 90 | |
| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/27/2006 8:51:41 PM | dont compliment
Stupid advice. EVERYONE, male or female likes to recieve a compliment.
KING doesn't need a "reason" for being here... and thank god he is.  | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/27/2006 10:22:31 PM | I will now reveal the sacred move 36C. My buddy and I came up with this, have used it countless times, and never come away with less than her number. First you need a wing man, second a patio or some tables in the pub. Next you pick a target find 2 girls sitting by themselves at a table (note, the other tables must have people at them or it ruins the move). Go and politely ask if you can sit down. They always say yes and usually roll they're eyes or sigh, if they seem excited right away then there is no need for the last step, you're already in. But if theygive you some sign of here we go again thats perfect. Sit down and talk to each other and IGNORE the girls. The fact that you are not hitting on them will confuse them and they ALWAYS ask you what you're talking about. Boom defenses down and you're in. Now it may get you laid it may not, like any other move, it all depends on the girl. But it always gets your foot in the door.
My other move is much more basic. Be observant. Look around the room and see who is sneaking glances at you. Trust me there is always one. Catch her looking at you and just hold her gaze for a moment so she knows you saw her look, then smile. wait a few min . then go say hi.
Lastly if you want to pick up a girl and you have no idea if she's into you or not, its a crap shoot. Just walk up and say hi, whats your name, followed directly by trying to find some common ground. This may or may not work. But my philosophy is: If she's into me, great; If shes not, I'm in no worse shape than I was before I talked to her, and at least now I know. I don't know why guys get all depressed when they crash and burn. There are over 6 billion people on the planet and most of them are female. SAo what if this one didn't like you, someone else will.
No go get them tiger. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/27/2006 10:32:19 PM | | By the way, it's not always the same for everyone.. My ex of 20 years and I met in a bar and were pretty much inseparable after that... Sooo, you just never know~~~ | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/28/2006 6:12:24 AM | AiO3, you're absolutely right, we all love compliments. You just made my day. Thanks Sweety  I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we're thankful for you as well.
After rereading my last post I kinda want to point out that I don't consider myself one to go around "picking up" women. I think "socialise with" would be more fitting.
OP-When all the trix fail or if you simply don't want to use them, just say Hi...Hi everybody! | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/28/2006 6:17:21 AM |
dont compliment
Stupid advice. EVERYONE, male or female likes to recieve a compliment.
That's the point, he wants to make you earn it. Yeah, I think it's stupid too... | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/28/2006 6:41:05 AM | | I can't even be bothered anymore, if she wants to talk to me, she can come to me! | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/28/2006 6:48:35 AM | skip the compliments in a bar!
walking up to her is a compliment in itself!
eye contact and a smile, will go farther then any words you can utter!
on the phone the next day, compliment her by remembering what she was wearing and 1 or 2 or her girlfriends names!
IF you feel the need to compliment her, make it about something she can actually control, not her looks or her eyes etc! | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/28/2006 7:03:47 AM |
I can't even be bothered anymore, if she wants to talk to me, she can come to me!
Likewise. | |
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cb307
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Joined: 12/11/2005
Msg: 98 | |
| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/28/2006 7:25:48 AM | | My advice to you would be to always make sure she WANTS you to approach her before you do. Try to make eye contact with her from across the bar, smile, whatever, but don't set yourself up before you know what you are getting into. After that, it really doesn't matter exactly what you say.. | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/30/2006 2:51:40 AM | | Realroughdiamond... We were inseparable for 20 years, but complacency set in eventually.. It's a not a good thing to have happen in a marriage, but it does happen. There was also a "financial" problem that we couldn't seem to solve. Otherwise, we're still good friends and talk at least every week. We just couldn't cohabitate anymore. If you've ever tried to live with a friend, or anyone, for 20 years, it ain't easy~~ | |
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| Approaching women in bars
Posted: 1/30/2006 3:02:32 AM | Honestly, I'm 19 and I frequent the bars. I would say to all you men out there seeking advice:
step one: catch her eyes, hold it for a second or two...look away then look back...
step two: if she seemed to be interested....wait for her to be a)alone or b)2 friends or more...
(when women are with just one friend and a guy approaches, the girl tends to feel guilty for ditching the friend) and for your sake wait for her to have a half-empty drink *will explain later*
step three: NO CHEESY PICKUP LINES.. a good start is "Hey, I'm ______."
step four: if she rejects you or seems disinterested, calmy and confidently apologize for 'bothering her' and walk away confidently...other people may be watching
step five:if conversation flows well, wait until she has an empty drink.. *try to time it so you both have an empty drink. Then call the bartender over, order your drink, and say can i buy you a drink?
step six: if you cant handle it from this point then you shouldnt be at the bars anyway :P
Now to explain the half-empty drink.... If they have a full drink, it may take forever until you have a chance to impress her.... if its empty and you have to buy her a drink right off the bat you may be wasting your 4 bucks or more if the conversation flops. Half-empty drinks give you enough time to guage the conversation
Hope, Ive helped! | |
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