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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/27/2006 4:00:38 PM | Hippo you really need to listen to these ppl some of them actually sound pretty reasonable. Surround yourself with friends and family, take up something new and exciting. That's what I did. When I was down and out I didn't want to go to a dr. I just brought myself up and picked up a new safe hobby. I started writing poems, now I have been published for about 6 years. I never would have thought that something I was just playing around with could make money on the side. I do alot of inspirational poems, I'm going to leave a couple for you. Read these and think about them then go start something new and exciting.
Dried Out Roses (you can change the he with she if you would like)
Old red roses, dry and dead,
Wilted petals fall instead,
He once gave to me to keep
Those days they lagged like lonely sleep
And now they sit as time has passed
Alone, without a love at last
With shadows of our old love cry
And wilted roses that won't die
A phone with no one there to call
I try to forget, but don't at all
I once left your name to find
I called it sweet, and good and kind
But when I found it, it was gone
You took it back and then moved on
And so I sit here, cold and blue
With nothing more for me to do
But sit, with nothing left to say
And throw the roses all away.
A New Start
She lies among a bed of dreams
In happiness or so it seems
For it's been long since life began
And her search goes on for holding hands
What doesn't kill you makes you strong
And strength grows wings to fly upon
She flies on wings so white and pure
For in her dreams she feels secure
Lines of songs and verses in rhyme
Will heal the wounds of bitter time
No longer will she lie in sadness
And put on a smile to hide the madness
Young souls that slip away from tears
Can strengthen hope through many years
And with new strength she'll rise above
Heal her wounds and learn to love.
Hippo I really hope that you take everybody's advice and find someone weather it be a friend, family member or someone that you don't even know to lean on. Someone out there is willing to be there for you. Hell we are all here for you, use it. Talk to someone. | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/27/2006 4:10:28 PM | Blindheart, I can understand where your coming from. I can't answer your questions because I don't know what was going on in my friends head. I know just what I saw on a everyday basis. The guy was 17 at the time a year older than us. I myself have always been ahead of my time because my life wasn't exactly a bed of roses. I was put up for adoption and I was raised by the state so I had no choice but to grow up and do it fast.
Melissa, was head over heals in love with that boy she let him consume her whole life. Call it love call it infatuation either way she had a hard time accepting the fact that he chose another girl over her. She was my only friend at the time and I went through so much because I felt hurt because she was gone and I also felt betrayed. Like she was only thinking of herself. Now that I'm older and it has been 5 years since I have learned to put my feelings on paper.
Hippo needs to do the same. And no I haven't heard from him in a while. I really hope he is alright. | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/27/2006 7:56:00 PM | This is not to say I will or won't, but after going thru much grief I can now grasp the very few who do this act. The feeling overwhelms you and leaves you feeling hopeless/helpless. To anyone who feels the pain and survives, my hats off to you.
Hippoman....heartbreak is devistating....... it's a deep pain.... that you never knew existed before.... you never knew your heart to ACHE that way before......... Yes, it is overwhelming...... but you have to take it day by day...........
Keep a daily journel...... write of your feelings...... express yourself...... CRY if you need to cry................ GET it out.... It could take a week.... it could take a couple of months.....
But keep on keepen on!
Ending your life will not make you stronger.............u'll be gone.........
How will that affectyour loved ones? It benefits no one.........
There is no timeframe.... but you are the only one that can help yourself.....
Like SLOOP said... get out and around friends! If you don't have any.... do some volunteer work... give back to your community.....
AGE has NOTHING to do with it.. but... you're 26.... I hope when you're 36 you'll look back... and be like.. dayum..... I'm so glad that's over... look how great my life is now! Look how far I've come... Look what I've achieved!
Rock ON!!!!
Edit:
Everyone thanks for your kindness. I hope one day I can give encouragement to people who will go through a rough patch like me. Am I surrounded by people who love me? Yes, but I wish it was enough. Should I take counselling and anti-depressants?
Think of how blessed you are to be surrounded by people that love you!
Think of what you would leave behind...... if you hurt yourself!
Yuo have to do what is best for you..... if you need counselling.. by all means go to counselling......
Best of luck to you!
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/27/2006 8:11:44 PM | Hi I can relate to this topic. Since my Fiancee decided he needed to find himself and will not talk to me to tell me why, I have tried killing myself 3 times since November. Not once has he ever asked how I was doing or nothing.
I know what it is like to be thrown away like a piece of garbage and try and pick up the pieces of my broken heart. A day doesn't go by that I ask myself if it was my fault. My family tells me it's all his and that he's a mouse not a man.
My family has told him the 3 times that I was in the hospital from either slashed wrists or an attempted OD of sleeping pills.
When people say it gets easier, I have 1 question? When? When does it get easier? I can't listen to certain songs or I start crying, or certain smells that remind me of him.
This was to be our first Christmas and New Years and he spent it with a female co-worker of his, not with me. He says he still loves me...... I don't know what to believe anymore  | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/27/2006 8:24:14 PM | Justme.... I'm very sorry for your pain........
There is NO timeframe! DAYUM it would be wonderful if there was!!!!!
You need to do your best to NOT contact him!!!!!
You need to look within...... look at yourself.. YOU are not a piece of garbage.... who knows why he did what he did.......
Hurting yourself doesn't affect anyone but you and your loved ones.....
A year from now.... you may be over him...... and you may not.... you may see a couple together and it may make you burst into tears...... BUT all you can do is take care of you....
do your best to LET go of him..... and to MOVE on for you!
Keep yourself active...... whether excercising... hanging out with friends.... volunteering.... participating in specific hobbies or sports!
Best of luck to you | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/27/2006 8:31:22 PM | Straight up from one who knows all too well.
You go day by day and build up a life again, you put your head down and bull your way through it until you can raise you head up again and see a better day.
If someone takes their own life from the loss or heartbreak, they are taking the easy way out.
And that is not their right to do.
It's that person's body, but what they'd leave behind in grieving family and friends make it wrong and that's that.
Suck it up, remember to live and go on.
Anything less is unacceptable.
I did it, you do it.
Good luck brother..... | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/27/2006 8:32:37 PM | I have a problem with looking within my self cuse with all that has been going on I developed a hate for myself--- i cannot go past a mirror with out starting to cry. I do not contact him at all.. I know that is good for me.
I honestly believe that this world would be better off without me in it. As for friends, i did have 1 but he chased him away cuse he didn't like him. I feel like i am all alone.... | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/27/2006 8:33:48 PM |
Should I take counselling and anti-depressants?
Counselling might not be a bad idea. I'd advise against the meds, thoygh, for the simple reason that anti-depressants can actually increase the likeliehood of suicide in the time before the effective concentration in the brain is present. (Usually the first week or two.)
As to the comment that people committing suicide want to hurt the one who left... HAH! When I tried, I cared more about ending my own pain, rather than creating any for anyone. And besides, I was convinced that she wouldn't be hurt by my actions, since she would have to care about me for my death to bother her, and I was certain she didn't - after all, she left, right? Nobody I know has tried or committed suicide for the purpose of hurting anyone.. that's just a side effect. Although, thinking back, I remember one friend's gf 'attempting suicide' every time he tried breaking up with her... but since I truly doubt she was really trying to succeed, I don't think it counts. | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/27/2006 8:48:54 PM | I found it helps to know that other women find you desireable, and in so doing validate your self worth....although, after my last breakup, which led to my spending three months in jail for a silly cell phone call, sometimes I'm left thinking it best to find someone who truly appreciates you for who you are, because life is for living, and finding joy in sharing togetherness with an appreciate other.
Anyways, here's a poem I wrote on the subject, kind of a modified sonnet:
ON DEATH
I don't like to write on death,
or even recognize it's there;
But when we smell it's sodden breath
and see it gaze with solemn stare
Upon the people we love most
I see life as an empty pit.
For when they go to be his host,
there's naught to do, but sit and sit,
To think about the reasons why,
how could they just so quickly die?
and leave us all to dream and stir.
To start awake with frightened cry,
and stare till dawn and wonder why.
Anyways, remember that tomorrow the sun will rise, and that things will get steadily better and that in the words of Kahil Gibran's "The Prohet": the deeper sorrow carves into your being, the more future joy you can contain....or something to that effect - someone took my copy of that wonderful book. | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/27/2006 8:49:04 PM | I found it helps to know that other women find you desireable, and in so doing validate your self worth....although, after my last breakup, which led to my spending three months in jail for a silly cell phone call, sometimes I'm left thinking it best to find someone who truly appreciates you for who you are, because life is for living, and finding joy in sharing togetherness with an appreciate other.
Anyways, here's a poem I wrote on the subject, kind of a modified sonnet:
ON DEATH
I don't like to write on death,
or even recognize it's there;
But when we smell it's sodden breath
and see it gaze with solemn stare
Upon the people we love most
I see life as an empty pit.
For when they go to be his host,
there's naught to do, but sit and sit,
To think about the reasons why,
how could they just so quickly die?
and leave us all to dream and stir.
To start awake with frightened cry,
and stare till dawn and wonder why.
Anyways, remember that tomorrow the sun will rise, and that things will get steadily better and that in the words of Kahil Gibran's "The Prohet": the deeper sorrow carves into your being, the more future joy you can contain....or something to that effect - someone took my copy of that wonderful book. | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/27/2006 8:57:44 PM |
Nobody I know has tried or committed suicide for the purpose of hurting anyone
It depends on the person I'm sure but its not just a side effect.I spent an afternoon helping one of my friends race his snowmobile.He was upset that his girl had left him and after the race was over he went home and shot himself with a small caliber weapon in his stomach.He didnt want to die,he wanted pity, but he did die.
Hippoman-I looked back on this thread but couldnt find the reason for your heartbreak.Was it from loss of love or of life? You have alot of friends here with excellent advice so all I can say is consider that before you consider the other.If folks that dont even know you personally want to help,that tells you something.You have friends that you never even knew you had.That in itself is worth your life. | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/27/2006 9:13:09 PM | There is a lot of good advice posted.
As a grief support group facilitator, I help people deal with the loss of loved ones. I suggest finding a therapist either psychiatrist or psychologist. It is someone to help you gain strength and heal. You do not have to do this alone. This is what they do and, Lord knows, we could all use some help in that arena from time to time. It doesn't have to be a long term commitment. Therapy doesn't necessarily mean years on the 'couch'.
I know that calling for the appointment will be very difficult but I encourage you to push through and make the call. I know I haven't said anything others haven't said but that should be an indication that it is good advice. I hope you find the strength to take it.
Another recommendation which I believe was one of the first responses is to be with people. I know it is extremely difficult to do and is probably the last thing in the world you want to do but, strangely enough, it does help.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if you need a shoulder. By the way, I'm giving you a hug right now. | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/27/2006 10:28:57 PM | Justme... I tried to contact you as I was very saddened by your post. It states you are only accepting mail from men.
When we are down and out it is very easy to think the world would be a better place without us.... that no one would miss us.... That isn't the case... you just don't realize it!
If you have such self loathing... you need to figure out what you can do to make yourself happier....
I was watching a program the other day... that a woman went to the hospital to have a baby........... she had some very odd complications that the hospital is not willing to give her information on how it all happened.... without her family seeking legal action. She came home from the hospital with 2 amputated legs and arms.....
I guess my point is... DEFINATELY not belittling how you are feeling but just trying to point out that life could be worse.
Do things for others.... that bring you joy..... Whether helping children.... other women.... homeless..... You'll be amazed at how you feel when you are thinking about others...
I wish both the OP and you the best. | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 1/29/2006 12:46:51 PM |
Should I take counselling and anti-depressants?
It is great to hear you are surrounded by people who love you, allow them to give you strength on your bad days, and build on it, on your better days.... as we all have heard over and over thruout our lives, "It Does Get Better" and "It Does Get Easier".
As some has advised you against medication.... I can only say it has benefited me for the better and serves its purpose well, but have to say , that is for my situation and my body chemistry only. My advise would be to let a professional make the decision after accessing you both physically and mentally. There are things to keep in mind that are not pleasant, and although they work for many people, I agree with others, to steer clear from the drugs or to at least make them your last option. Sometimes it is a very lengthy time period just finding the proper medication and the proper dosage that will work for that individual. Not to mention side effects that can also be long term ones. I apologize if in previous posts , it appears I am saying the answer for all of us in these particular situations is medication, because in truth that really should be the last option.
Take care and hang in there, many people are here for you if needed  | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 2/2/2006 11:39:43 AM | The grief is momentary...it's not eternal. But it can be very deceiving while we are in it...we think that the moment of grief will never end, that it consumes us. However, to this day, I CANNOT UNDERSTAND why people commit suicide. Bc if the grief is soooo painful to go on, I remind myself that I LOVE MYSELF MORE than doing something terrible to end the pain. Think of it this way :
WOULD YOU RATHER DIE or LIVE IN PAIN FOR NOW THAT WILL DISSAPEAR WITH TIME? I think I will choose the latter. | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 3/14/2006 10:51:27 AM | | I think that there are many factors to consider when someone takes their own life over the breakup of a relationship. It isn't necessarily the present-day pain alone that propells them to take such an action of violence against themselves. The person may have long-standing, unresolved issues from childhood, such as abandonment or abuse. There may be other stresses in their life at the time that could be physical, emotional, mental, spiritual., financial. It is always good to have a support system of loving, encouraging, non-judgemental family or friends, no matter what life hurls at you. It is all about healing and learning to love oneself. There are many stages of grief when someone dies, or leaves, and they need to be worked through. Sometimes we try to cover up the pain with work, recreational drugs or other medication, alcohol, food, etc. Its a process that needs time, and above all, understanding. When someone goes through a breakup, they need to be extra good to themselves, to be gentle with themselves. Take quiet time to heal, surround oneself with beauty and serenity and as much love as possible. A relationship is a great emotional investment. How much do we really know about our emotions? How much do we really know to what level our minds, hearts, and spirits have interacted with another human being? There is so much that we give of ourselves in a relationship with someone else, not just a physical or emotional closeness. That is why it is important to be careful when we get involved. Is this person worth our devotion, love and respect? Do they love and respect us? There are no guarantees in life, but treating other people with kindness and respect is something I really try to practise. Learning to love myself has been part of my life's journey. The direction of society is that we seek to gratify ourselves, sometimes at the expense of someone else. When someone has been wounded many times in failed relationships they sometimes develop a hard outer shell. Sometimes they sabotage their relationships before anyone can get close to them again. Sometimes some poor innocent pays for what a previous lover did to them. The importance is to heal, to learn and to grow from our failed relationships, if at all possible. There is light at the end of the tunnel. In my opinion, the Universe is not uncaring. Love is the answer, like the Beatles said. It truly is. That includes loving oneself. I hope our world becomes more compassionate . | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 3/14/2006 11:38:40 AM | U know i could relate i came out of a 3 yrs relationship almost 2 yrs now and when we broke up,i thought there was nothin to live for ..its hard but i went around my family and friends and over came it ,u should not make ur life short for nobody,nobody is worth it...life to short so enjoy it while we can good luck ... | |
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| I could never understand people who commit suicide over heartbreak..........until now.
Posted: 3/21/2006 8:15:25 PM | Brother , you are not the first person to go through this , nor will you be the last .
I suffer sometimes from depression ( Something I never wanted to admit untill now ) , I know what it feels like to love and lose .Every day when I'm alone it hurts even more , especially when i see the women i have felt for moving on with their lives while I struggle to pick up the peices . It hurts, i know for I've been there . Finding love is hard, Keeping it is much much harder .
I myself have tried the suicide route a long time ago , to no avail . Even God didn't want me I thought , now how did i live with it.
I wake up and tell myself EVERY DAY .My LIFE MATTERS, do things that benefit my life ,keep in touch with my friends and family on a constant basis , not just for love and support but for everything in general.
I know you are hurting , I hurt every day I wake up alone .But I know i have so much to live for , as do you. Do you really want to deny that future special someone of what good things about you, that you have to offer ? I don't think so .
Perhaps she wasn't the one for you , please realize this, give closure to this and move on . i hope my message to you doesn't fall on deaf ears . God loves you , as do many people in your life .
Don't lie back and grieve , Wake up and beleive in yourself , I beleive in myself every day , it helps to battle the pain of lonliness . Be strong Brother , for I beleive in you.
Ma-che-fai-tu
Paolo
Sorry for posting the same thing on 2 different threads but i feel for you .
It was very hard for me to write this to its intended target , someone who is going through what you are, only much worse. | |
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