| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 2/3/2006 8:05:13 AM | | It almost sounds as if she's in love with you. Honestly, not to offend. Or it could be she's really insecure about the friendship with you. Does she have any other friends? Is she in a realtionship herself? Is she just so negative as a person, that she wishes nothing good for you? Just thoughts you may want to consider. Once again, another opinion. Good luck. | |
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| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 2/3/2006 8:21:57 AM | deb2005
i am sure your friends lookin out for your best interest...but you tell her if she has nothing positive to say bout him then say nothing at al....an to be happy for you. as long as she keeps doin this to you...you will end up later doubtin him in the long run....so dont listen to her. you have that choice to walk away from her. ...dont tolerate it. | |
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MarkCK
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Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 28 | |
| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 2/5/2006 9:39:12 AM | if she's being all nosey to find out for herself, without even wanting to help you with it, she's a bit of a muppet - what would be the point? so she can indulge in your private life!?
she's being real stupid and I think you need to tell her, to leave it out, and go away.
there's a good chance she's interested in winning your guy over, and there's even a chance that she has started seeing him already, I really don't know and don't mean to put silly thoughts into your head, talk to your guy about it and tell her to sort it out or she's loosing you as a friend, that's what i'd do. don't be a push over, without sounding rude, you don't seem to know what to do and although you're working on it, you are sounding to be a bit of a push over, you should push her over!!
i'd sort your friend out properly, in person on the phone even not by telephone, ask her what her motivs are and why she's truly bothering, ask her if she has a crush on him, if she wouldn't even tell you about it, that's just plain stupid, nosey, and well, it'd make her a big dufus | |
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| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 2/5/2006 10:12:42 AM | | There are some really good points of view in this forum, but here is something to consider; sometimes when you first get into a new relationship you tend to ignore certain aspects of the other person,(LUST/LOVE IS BLIND)which later on become very clear and the relationship dies as a result. I have some very close friends,i meen friends for 20 years which some people find amazing.But i can tell you this when your are not emotionally involved you can see traits in people that will cause your friends to end up hurt. Mind you i flicked a few so called friends on the way as they were JUNK. But you should be wise enough to know the character of your friend. I dont know all the cicumstances so no judgement here just keep it in the back of your mind.....Hope it all works out for all of you. | |
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| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 2/5/2006 10:23:27 AM | There are 3 things it could be..from past experiences it could very well be any..
1.) She wants him..
2.) She's jealous..
3.) She's right...Friends see things we don't because we are blinded by love.. | |
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| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 4/29/2006 1:13:43 AM | Both your boyfriend and friend should have your best interests at heart, or why are you hanging around them? Are they giving you unconditional love; moving you in a positive direction; there when you need them most; tell you the truth (in love) not what you want to hear; and are the relationships healthy or toxic? Only you can make that choice. Best wishes, Patti | |
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| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 3/29/2007 5:28:02 PM | | So you would lie and say you hadn't talked with him. You cut her source of info off so she went and started "seeing" his brother to get more info. Make sure you let your guy know you do NOT condone this after you tell him what she and his brother are doing. With friends like her.... you know the end of that phrase. | |
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| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 3/30/2007 7:15:17 AM | Hi there,
I can totally relate to your problem I am going through it myself. Truthfully she is acting a bit jelouse and that is because you are happy. You say she is your best friend? I am sorry but a best friend would not try and ruin what is going good in your life right now. She is clearly trying to get you to doubt your guy and if that is happening you will lose him not to mention with her as a friend you may be alone for a long time. I know you value her as your best friend but you need to det some ground rules. Tell her you need the respect that you are in this great relationship not her. But make time for her to often friends feel forgoten because of the great love interest you now have. | |
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| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 3/30/2007 8:01:16 AM | | Agree not to discuss your relationship with that guy. It's your life, you are responsible for what happens. Make an agreement to talk mostly about other things or have her just listen rather than give advice. You don't have to talk about him.... | |
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| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 3/31/2007 3:11:24 PM | I've been that "friend" before, so maybe my perspective will help. First of all, I think everyone's advice on here to you has been great. Though, I will say, please don't ignore us?  We're lovable too. The girl I knew, long time friends, was dating/living with a guy, and anytime he'd come up in conversation she'd be complaining about him. She'd look to me for support, and just to think things through, etc. The guy was reasonable I'd met him and I didn't think he'd leave her hanging, but over time I got the sense that she wanted to keep him and he was looking for a polite way out - just too nice for her own good. Letters, serious arguments, etc... she was my only source of info, and the one day she asked what I really thought - poor girl was in tears - I told her, clearly in love she didn't listen, and I went around her, and I apologized but boy was she mad.
Personally I still think her love was blind and she didn't see she wasn't getting happier with him [she just wanted to really badly], but now she's going to have to find that out on her own.
Yes I think you should tell your friend that 'going around you' is unacceptable behavior. If its going to be checked out, she has to check with you before she does ANYTHING. That was my mistake - and thinking back I could have lived with that.
Second, I think you should tell your friend to keep any general negative comments to herself. To try-really-hard. Tell her if you want feedback, you'll ask for it, when you're ready. Otherwise don't give it. She's already made her position clear. When/if you're ready to hear another side, you can ask for it. Otherwise she's going to regret saying things - she probably already is.
Hope this helps | |
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| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 3/31/2007 3:15:11 PM |
Here is the problem you really have. Your friend wants your man. Maybe she doesn't completely realize it but she wants him badly. Be careful.
Not necessarily, but I do agree with being careful. I had a friend like this. She tried to poison any relationship I had--with friends or boyfriends. Most people that know her think she's gay and after me 
I finally made a decision to get rid of her. I can't live like that anymore. Tell your friend that you're dating this guy whether she likes him or not, and she needs to be happy for you or your friendship won't last. | |
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| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 3/31/2007 9:25:06 PM | Oh yeahhhh....I've seen these type friends before.... it's called 'misery loves company'!! These type friends are NOTORIOUS for making YOU want to stay where they are, because they have NO LIFE, often trying to sound BENEVOLENT, disguising it as being 'in your best interest'. They will insist on sticking their nose in where YOUR relationships are concerned. They probably have either a lousy marriage, or a lousy relationship, or no relationship at all, and they want you to commiserate with them in their 'all men are pigs' theories. Any attempts you make to seek out a happy lifestyle will be summarily sabatoged by this person. They will be the ones who call you and say, 'hey, it's time for GIRLS NIGHT OUT!!', and ask you to participate in things they KNOW they shouldn't do, and make you feel guilty if you don't participate out of RESPECT for your relationship. They don't necessarily want YOUR MAN....but they DO want whatever happiness you seem to be showing for yourself, and will become highly contemptuous in what might soon to be a separation of time that was once spent with them......
Be very careful of these types......they do exist. And it wouldn't surprise me if some of you have been friends with them for a very long time........ | |
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| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 3/31/2007 11:34:35 PM | You need to STAND YOUR GROUND.....
I just started a relationship with my BF, Al for almost 3 months now & I have friends that are happy for me & some friends that always find doubts about him towards me....
But you are the ONLY ONE who can judge about what you truly feel towards him & what he feels about you.
Friends have to understand that we have to MOVE ON sometime with our own lives & own relationships.....
BE STRONG & AS I SAID ---- LEARN TO STAND YOUR GROUND!!!
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| Friend interfering with Relationship....HELP
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:41:44 AM | I completely agree with what Ainsel said. This is exactly what happened to me. I was friends with this girl for 10+ years, she got a new boyfriend (who I knew through other people), I told her exactly what he was like, and what he had done to other women. All of a sudden I was "JEALOUS." Right.. 2 years later, when they broke up, she comes crawling back saying I was right and expecting to be friends again.
So, be very careful about following the advice you've been reading off this forum. | |
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