| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 1/7/2009 6:23:28 AM | Personally, what I think chemistry IS and what it IS for me, is intellectual AND attraction physically. Both are required within first 2-3 dates in order to 'pursue' any further. I also believe it's either 'there' or it's NOT! No one can 'make it be there' in other words.
In response to what not2dvs just said, I second that! When 'chemistry is there' everything in the world is grandeur LOL.....that's the ONE I pursue!!! Otherwise, if it's not all there, I lose interest and keep 'fishing' LOL.... | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 1/7/2009 4:44:27 PM | chemistry between a man and a woman is simple,think about it,god created man and woman,adam and eve...this was after the creation of many animals,mammals,reptiles,
how you think adam & eve were attracted to each other? it didn't just happen overnight but they were the only first two humans on earth,it wasn't because they didn't have a choice to be together,god knew they were right for each other because he made it that way. | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 1/7/2009 5:07:52 PM | Have to say in my experience there has to be chemistry otherwise whats the point ! Physical attraction is just a animal instinct based deep in the sub-conscience on the possible success of your chosen mate rearing your off spring. Chemistry is love and love has no quantative method of analysis bar one word.........chemistry | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 1/7/2009 8:49:21 PM | Of course it's possible! They are called "friends"! :-)
Chemistry is something you have to experience to understand. If you don't understand it, then you've just never experienced it. It's like the first time you fall in love. You spend the rest of your life knowing what it is. And realize how much you didn't know before you experienced it. Well, that's what I think anyway....  | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 1/9/2009 6:59:44 AM | Chemistry is a beautiful thing if you ever find true chemistry. It's not just physical attraction in my opinion. It's just a great many of the pieces of the puzzle that just fit together....like each person 'gets' the other person, their sense of humor, their sarcasm, they think in a similar manner....I have met one person I would say I had TRUE chemistry with. It was incredible.
On the flip side, I can see why so many people think it doesn't exist, because of all the people I had to filter thru to find one person I had true chemistry with was a nightmare. It's like finding a needle in a hay stack....
I did learn a great deal about myself in that relationship, the quality of person I want for a partner, and I learned that I had settled in the past just to be with someone & not be single. I won't be making that mistake again, I'll stay single before I let myself settle into a relationship that can't provide what I need. | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 1/26/2009 8:30:54 AM | I logged on today with the intention of posing the Q: What do you understand "chemistry" to mean? And was pleased to find that there's already such a "thread" (that'd be this one).
I've looked at the responses, & by my reading all but two seem to confirm my suspicion as to what most people take chemistry to be. As OnTheBus puts it: "there sure are a lot of chemicals involved, hormones, endorphines." (See midnite cowboy's response for a supplementary list. And maybe we should add seratonin?) Or to put it bluntly, we're talking there about the kind of chemistry which equates with & translates into instant sexual attraction — basically lizard-brain stuff (to use the technical term).
As a student of English, i recognize that that's a legitmate understanding of "chemistry." But as an observer of would-be relationships, i also find it a very insecure basis for anything long-term ... unless you're someone for whom "long-term" doesn't extend much farther than the usual best-before date of a carton of milk. Besides which, such chemistry is purely internal & therefore isn't necessarily mutual (which i hear tell can be a problem if the woman's feeling it & the man is just interested in sex).
There is surely another sense of "chemistry," tho', which after all is a metaphor based on the science devoted to how compounds react with one another. And that other sense is the one that is responsive to this forum's Q as it is worded, esp. to "between a man and a woman." Marc77373 is closest to the mark there (if you'll pardon the pun), but he still leaves plenty of room for clarification. Which in brief (since i've just about used up my allotted space) is this: chemistry of the sort that makes for a lasting relationship consists of two people interacting in such a way that each brings out in the other the self-possibilities pleasing both to her or himself and to the other person. (E.g., i 'm not looking for a relationship wherein i'm the Serious Person who wrote most of this posting.);) Comments? | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 1/27/2009 6:37:33 AM | Chemistry? Heck, that's easy...you go to classes three times a week and get paired up with some nerd whith tape holding thier glasses together. You copy homework from them and at the end of the semester the instructor gives you a C+.
Yeah chemistry, like relationships, suck! | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 1/29/2009 10:55:28 PM | I think chemistry is what attracts 2 people. I would never do the testimonials for my date cause maybe the guy is not the right guy for me, but maybe great for someone else.
I've dated offline before and saw that while I get along with most people, some guys were a bad match. Maybe interests were too different or he drank alot.
I would never date my former brother in law. He is an attractive guy don't get me wrong, but I just do not feel that way about him. | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 1/30/2009 9:53:25 AM | | At first it is lust or love at first sight. Then intellectual or/and behavioral attractions. Sexual chemistry follows. I knew a beautiful and popular young girl who was not attracted to a guy because he was not hot, but became his slave when he kissed her. The sexual chemistry with him was so powerful, unlike any she had with any guy she ever been with. | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 3/24/2009 4:26:59 PM | | It has to do with many sense, but one more than the rest...and believe it or not its the sense of smell.. Its actually the tiny chemical odors that we all exude that kickstarts the attraction in the beginning... | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 3/24/2009 5:49:27 PM |
totally 100% agree with bella... without it there is nothing...period.
I completely agree with you both! I have to have it ~ I don't even bother pretending I can work around a lack of chemistry. That would be a complete lie to the other party and myself. It's not like a garden ~ you can't tend it and make it grow. (At least I can't.) JMO  | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 3/24/2009 5:57:25 PM | I believe it is mutual attraction between 2 people. Some guys I have no feelings for. Not that they are ugly, it's not there for me. My ex-brother in law is not ugly, but I feel more like he is a blood relative. We like each other as family, but nothing more.
Some guys, oddly alot of Spanish type guys there seems to be a magnetic attraction. I don't know what it is about them I like or they like about me.
I see now why my father was so against it, but it hasn't changed for me. My older son is considered Hispanic. He even talks Latino. I don't know why chemistry is there even more so for this group. | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 3/25/2009 7:55:58 PM | Long thread and interesting topic so thought I'd weigh in.
I think Chemistry is basically when the pleasure centers of the brain are engaged with one another. The pleasure you get from chocolate, or a****ail is in my view are one and the same. The brain doesn’t differentiate. While chemistry isn’t everything, many of our most powerful signals are unheard, untouched, and unseen. they exist through unconscious channels; unseen aromas, tastes, feelings about each other.
Its like strawberries and cream when it works it works. Its like you like the opposite flavours and believe it will mix well with your own; doesn't have to be just physical or sexual in my opinion depending on what we seek out in life. If we seek good friendships and relationships and not just sex (that thing we do about 1% of the time when we are with our partners), then it should be so that we would seek to have chemistry and connection with those that will satisfy the other senses. Ask a single 70 year old and I'm sure that they still seek "chemistry"; maybe just different to the way 20 year old do. A 20 year old may not seek long term so the quick physical thing may be the go. For me the better the mind is engaged with the opposite the sexier or better chemically attracted they become. I have dated models that do absolutely nothing for me physically because the chemistry of the mind has not been satisfied. This being so why do so many women and men place such emphasis on looks. Maybe this is why they are lonely, dateless and generally unsatisfied; because they have the wrong priorities and have accepted the misnoma that chemistry is just the physical feeling you get when you look at someones appearance, and think they can do it from the computer as they scroll through the many profiles.( I say their loss if so shallow)
It is also interesting from the point that most people think or say on sites that they would like to meet people with similar intersts and qualities to their own. I think its normally the opposite that is we have strong attractions or chemistry to people who have traits complementary to our own. Sort of like the****ail you may be the tequila and if you look for another tequila and mix its the same; buuuuutttttt, through in a bit of contreau and a splash of lime and you have what the world knows as a Margarita (Yummy)
Unfortunately its not as easy to define what our own contreau's or tequilas are in realtionships or for us to be as in touch with all the elements that will create that same amazing chemistry.
heres my recipe for a good margarita
1-1/2 oz. tequila
1 oz. Cointreau
1/2 oz. fresh lime juice
salt the rim (Yummy); although you may not like either ingredient or the taste it creates
But good luck in the search for your perfect****ail of love everyone.
Danny | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 3/30/2009 10:06:29 PM | | I think you have have to have chemistry to be attracted to one another, but it takes more than that to keep it going. You must have a mutual respect for one another and added with the chemistry things can grow, but chemistry alone will not be enough. If all u have is chemistry then you'll have good sex and nothing more! | |
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| Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it?
Posted: 4/9/2009 7:22:15 AM | Chemistry is at the physical level. Sexual attraction is based on this.
1) Intellectual interest can help carry a conversation.
2) Emotional connections keep friends together.
3) But to schedule that second date when I'm looking for a romantic relationship I must feel the physical attraction, and it needs to be mutual. I need the chemistry. Otherwise we are left to discussing books over email or playing online chess from that point on... | |
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