| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 11:41:30 AM |
Heres a thought....quit leading men on.
Sorry Tyler,
I didn't mean to lead you on... I'm not really gay. Last I heard, neither was Chip. But we'll stop now if it's too hard-on you.  | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 12:07:55 PM | I like GIRLS ALOT....it just makes me mad when women do these sort of things and think its allright. AND FOR THE RECORD PETE IF I WAS GAY YOU WOULD MAKE ME THROW UP  | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 12:10:07 PM | ^^ fart smeller .. I mean smart feller! lol
But we'll stop now if it's too hard-on you
Your a real ho0t Petey! lmao
<------------------NOT GAY!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 12:12:01 PM |
AND FOR THE RECORD PETE IF I WAS GAY YOU WOULD MAKE ME THROW UP
It's OK big guy... you just have to learn to relax your throat muscles... | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 12:24:50 PM | I don't think you can fall in love with both men. For me to "love" anybody there has to be these 5 things in our relationship. Caring, honest, loyal, respectful and trustworthy. So if your not loyal then it's not love. But that's just my opinion. | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 1:04:21 PM | Can you love 2 people at once?
Okay, let's see if I can make some sense here. lol
Of course you can. We human beings have the capacity to love many people that come into our lives and love each differently than the other because they all have different qualities about them that we adore.
There are many different forms of love... Love for our children... love for our parents, sibblings, friends, etc. I don't believe we are IN love with more than one person. There will always be stronger feelings for one man/woman than another.
If I were somewhat confused about my deepest feelings for one/two gentleman, I would surely take some time to evaluate those feelings. Do some soul searching if you will...
When you decide who it is you feel strongest about, make sure you continue with that relationship without having doubts... no relationship can evolve in a healthy way if you have doubts plaguing your mind. This is why I say take time for YOU to discover what's most important to you, "who" is most important to you and take it from there.
Choosing one means you no longer continue to make yourself available to the other. Don't give mixed signals. Be upfront and quite clear about your feelings and what you have decided and that you value the friendship but that that's all it is from that point on. If friendship is accepted and understood for what it is, great and if he cannot accept only friendship than I'd thank him for having been there for me but that I thought it was best we part as friends and move onward with our seperate lives.
Don't dwell too long in your thoughts and decissions and consider that there is a risk of loosing both especially should they find out about one another and how deep your feelings may or may not run. We all want to be #1 in a loving relationship, not second and certainly not be played against someone else.
Anyhow, sorry for my rambling and I wish you much luck in your situation. :o) | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 1:29:04 PM | I think you can.
I saw this movie once; this woman who's husband was away for the weekend had the pizza delivery boy and the plumber show up at her door at the same time. Then in about 5 mins she was........................... | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 2:09:05 PM | | 1nonlyluv...you know I'm just razzin ya! I find these forums quite humorous with everyones comments so don't take what I say seriously . | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 2:24:38 PM | 1nonlyluv:
I think you like both alot and probably like different things in each.....so like someone else said, why would you let it get that far? you are only messing with your mind, and in the end result one guy is gonna feel like he was led on if you are giving him signals that will eventually be RED in the end.....
"Krazy" said it well...very well put
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and how ironic is it that you say you are in love with 2 guys at the same time, yet your screen name is "1"nonlyluv????????????????????????????????????????
Karma? or just coincidence? lol too funny
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 2:55:14 PM | i like to ask the OP a question
lets suppose one of the men youre seeing said to you im in love with another woman and you?
what would you think of him? be honest now. | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 3:16:15 PM | | Romantically? No way! If you think so, you're lying to yourself or using love in totally the wrong way. | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 3:29:27 PM | Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!
 heh they got a lot of smiley faces on here but none that has one picking up a chair and hitting another with it.. oh well | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 3:33:24 PM | 1nonlyluv...my goodness woman... you have children and juggling two men at once? where do you find the time? | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 4:53:09 PM | Of course you can! And you can jump off a building but I don't advise it.
As long as they know about each other and how you really feel about the other, don't mind sharing, and you can separate the emotions then you're being honest. However, since that is next to impossible for humans to accomplish this and keep all 3 people happy; do the right thing, make a choice, live with it. | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 5:30:57 PM | | Sure you can, but you end up feeling guilty and confused, so it is easier to just pick one and go with it. | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 7:27:02 PM | First thought: Why not? We do have multiple personalities styles and we live in a fickle world.
Second thought: Maybe you aren't really in love with either one yet.
Third thought: Have a contest.
Fouth thought: Ride the wave as long as you can and see what happens.
Fifth thought: It will never be easy, good luck.
 
and who said pizza. ah. | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 7:29:10 PM | Many interesting things have been said here. Quite a nice debate you've got going! Cheers to that; good discussion is always a worthy effort.
What I find interesting, reading the replies here, is how many assumptions are being made about the specific situation in question. Mostly, the assumption seems to be that there is lying and cheating going on. It is difficult, certainly, not to separate one's own experience from that of another when certain buttons get pushed. But I do find it odd how few questions are being asked in order to understand exactly where it is you're at and what it is you're dealing with.
Love.
Possibly one of the most used and least understood words in this language. I think there should be about 20 words to describe all the nuances of feeling and differing situations which may be available within those boundaries. (The accepted tradition is that there are five different kinds of love.) Realistically, probably there are many more, but I'm trying not to exaggerate here.
I conjecture:
Love is never the problem. "Love" just is and doesn't ask for anything or need anything.
It's the cascade of other emotions that come with "romantic love" that tend to make things a bit sticky. And those are the issues that need to be addressed with strength, honesty, courage.
The culture to which most of us here belong has some fairly strong thoughts on romantic liasons and what "love", within that construct, should look like. Cool to know that. We know what the "rules" of this culture are. So, what does "breaking those rules" entail?
Realistically, it means you might have to deal with some people who strongly disagree with your choices. And you are the only one to decide how you feel about that and if you feel it worth challenging those norms. The reality is that, provided everyone is completely honest and open, there are no limits to what might feel good and happy to you and those you are involved with and so all of you can make your own rules within that relationship(s). The only real pitfall here is a socially ingrained compulsion to lie or to be silent in such circumstance, thinking that it will "spare someone's feelings". Lying will ultimately hurt those involved. Truth may feel uncomfortable in the moment but is the only way through.
That said, "love" is boundless and eternal. It isn't a small quantity that will gap out when overgiven. However, "time, energy and focus", all of which are vitally necessary in order to develop a fullsome intimacy, are somewhat more limited by time constraints and mental scope of us wee humans. So, there may be a bit of juggling that only you and the folks you are involved with can assess.
Plus, once you add physical intimacy, you're going to have to deal with the oxytocin factor. (Oxytocin is the brain hormone that causes 'pair bonding'. It causes the feeling that most of us recognize as the difference between "love" and "in love".) Oxytocin is a harsh mistress and may ultimately answer your question for you.
There are no wrong answers so long as you are true to yourself and to those you are associated with. Truth is truth. And it is not the same as commonly accepted behaviour.
Good luck on your path. | |
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| here here!!!
Posted: 1/30/2006 7:43:10 PM | | couldn't have said it better myself! | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 8:58:11 PM | | oh yeah...! and, in my experience, it's quite easy, unless you're one of the two... and if the two happen to know/know about each other, well, then it gets really sticky...! how the mormons do it is beyond me! | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 9:34:15 PM | bambiwoods:
Didn't you know that women in the south are muti-talented. How do you suppose I had children? We get up early and go to bed late and have a lot fun during the day!!!  | |
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| can you love 2 people at once
Posted: 1/30/2006 9:37:44 PM | cherokeegirl:
I'm not taking you serious. Hell if I was into women you would probably be in the running with the 2 men. | |
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