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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 2/7/2006 8:35:25 PM | | hey vero it may seem tough at times but there is always a light in the end of the tunnel and another one will be right in the end of it,you'll see | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 3/24/2006 4:28:21 PM | ADHD? Sounds like she is BI-POLAR.
Read my thread on Second chances. Lots of good advice for your situation in there. | |
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cee4
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Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 130 | |
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 3/25/2006 8:54:46 AM | GIVINGUP ... if "all women are wackos" why are you still here???
And trust me - not "all women" are wackos. Now men on the other hand .... | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 3/25/2006 9:37:56 AM | All I have to say to that is:
1) ADHD my ass!!! I know very well what that is and she's lying! It doesn't make you act schizo or like a user...
2) She's acting schizo and sounds like a user! LOL
STOP talking to her and take her to court for the money if you want it back. But leave her alone, or you'll let her milk you for every last breath you have!
People who do these things aren't worth the wasted time......
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| About bipolar
Posted: 3/25/2006 10:06:11 AM | Once upon a time, I married a wonderful, intelligent, spiritual, woman. She was bipolar. After I realized that, I read as much as I could find about it. So I believe I am at least a little bit qualified to speak from both knowledge and experience.
Most people with this condition are fine as long as they take proper medication to compensate for whatever chemical imbalance is associated with it. Unfortunately, what doctors call non-compliance (not taking one's medicine), is very common among bipolar people. There are books written by bipolar people themselves which can explain this better. Basically, there is often a strong desire to deny the problem. This is not unique to bipolar folks of course. Denial of one's problems is always tempting.
Anyway, in this case, she felt so good being in love that she decided that the lack of love had been her problem, not her bipolar condition. So, she stopped taking her medication. Of course she didn't feel it was necessary to tell me she was bipolar, since, at this point she didn't believe it herself.
What is now called bipolar used to be called manic-depressive. There is a good reason for this. There are two poles.
One is up: elated, energetic, on top of the world, wiser than anyone else, and ultimately, a superior being. This is a progression, it doesn't happen all at once.
The other pole is dark and depressive. It usually occurs after the "manic" phase. What seems to happen is that the "special insights" granted to the person in the manic phase change from revealing wonderful things about the cosmos and one's self to whispering all the dark possibilities about everyone else. This is where the "depressive" phase occurs, sometimes with a strong paranoid component.
For the bipolar person, it can be an ascension to heaven followed by a descent into hell sometimes accompanied by paranoia. For the one who loves this person, can be is analogous.
Now, all of this may sound very clinical and detached. Yes it does. I'll return to my own account now.
First, it seemed I had found my soul mate who was unlike any other. Then I became confused. I tried to follow her cosmic insights, initially marveling at them. Some of them were impressive, and not to be discarded even now. Then the "insights" became whisperings about not what had been previously hidden, but about what others were trying to hide from her. At this point, suspicions and accusations began to predominate.
I began to figure it out after she accused me of being the real father of my best friend's son. I was accused of many other outrageous and hurtful things shortly after this.
Needless to say, this was a severe kick to the stomach for me. I asked around and found out that this had occurred many times before. In my case, I decided that I could not go through this again and I decided upon divorce. This was not because of anything in her normal personality. It was simply because there was good reason to believe that this would happen again (and again) and I doubted my ability to have my life thrown into chaos and to be hurt that way again.
It has taken me some time to rebound from that experience and I'm still a bit relationship shy.
Well, this was my experience and my understanding of it. I hope it has been more than meaningless movements of my finger on my keyboard.
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 3/25/2006 10:13:08 AM | dude
I have been down that path before - she sounds like trouble
I know it is tough because with her bahaviour she makes you addicted to her - I can explain if you want
but all I have to say is run like hell
dont look back
it might be tough for a while like a year or so
but you will find a normal woman
you seem like a normal guy
for your own mental health and for your own self respect do not look back forget about the $2 K
it is a small price to pay
think about it like that
YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOUR SELF BEFORE YOU LOVE SOMEONE | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 6/20/2006 5:23:03 AM | dude, your ex doesnt sound like she has adhd. It sounds more like she has BiPolar. And there is nothing worse than a bipolar off their meds. Look up BiPolar symptoms under Yahoo. I am sure you will find that she has many of these symptoms. When a bipolar is not on their meds they will drive you nuts just trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with them or how you can fix them . There is only l way drugs! | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 6/20/2006 9:58:38 AM | Convince yourself that you have to get over her. Not just think about it but in the back of your
head you are keeping a certain "hope".
She's playing you and both of you know it, regardless of her condition. Forget her, forget the money, cut all communication (pursuing the money will be an excuse to keep communication), spend less time on the computer and pof (as it can lead to depression..LOL), and get out have a good time. Take a trip with a friend, take on new activities. In other words, change your life around...
Life is short... | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 6/20/2006 11:10:15 AM | Unfortunately, no one can tell you how to "get over" her. I suggest going to counseling to help untwist your mind. It's easy for people to say "forget her, etc., etc........" That is something that will probably take (unfortunatey) TIME.
I counsel abused women (no degree, but 36 years of experience at being abused, and extensive research...have made me an "expert" in verbal (emotional) abuse.
This is what i am hearing from your ex....verbal abuse is rampant, and rarely recognized. I suggest reading: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I believe this is a book which should be required reading by everyone on the planet.
It is.....difficult to let go of hope; I hung on for 31 years, and then let go....I do understand.
So, my suggestions: get a good therapist; get the book I mentioned; do your best to NOT contact her (common sense, I know), and try to stay busy; talk to friends; (or MAKE friends), write down your feelings in a journal...
Hugs, Ally | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 7/4/2006 11:03:53 PM | I agree with you 100% I dated a girl who was bi-polar and
she was sweet as sunshine for a short time then turned into
a damn she devil ,and she was on lithium which is strong stuff.
thats when I said so long......theres plenty of hot women out
there in tampa just dont rush it take it slow and easy.....MIKE | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 7/5/2006 6:28:46 AM | | i know what she wants ,she just wants to torture you to death,she thinks you are in the her hands,i can feel she is very proud now to control you.constantly calling her and stalking her will make her feel even better,but make you feel even worse....keep a clear mind,try to concentrate on yourself,she is just a woman..plus is your ex,you ought to have found a new one in the times when you felt sad | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 7/5/2006 6:34:18 AM | | To the OP, welcome to the club! You lost your money, forget it! As for her, she’s playing mind games with you while she looks for someone new. You’re just her safety net just in case. Tell her where to go. That’s all she deserves for playing with you. | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 7/5/2006 6:45:06 AM | Hi I feel for you and to be honest it's over.
Could she possibly be Bipolar..Spelling??
I know its so hard to get over someone but the best and easiest way is to cut off all contact and in this case it sounds like your going to have to cut your losses.
The pain will eventually go away and your stomach will settle down. If your feeling really really depressed perhaps go see a doctor and go on antidepressants for awhile and they're not addicitive and it doesn't mean your weak.
So many people take them. You would actually be surprised.
I wish I could help more but its summer get out and enjoy and be with people as much as possible.
I know easier said than done but do remember that what comes around goes around and hopefull she'll get hers.
People can just be so hurtful.
Good Luck!!!! | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 7/5/2006 7:15:28 AM | | All this advice is excellent. For me, it's an addiction, and I had it to one guy, bad, and I always gave into it. He was like drink to me, but, with any addict, I got sick, sicker. I was not happy unless there was some contact. But, later, very much, he was so mean to me that I could not do it any more. I did not want him to touch me. It just happened. If you stay in it, because you just can't leave, sooner or later the pain will become too great for you to manage and it will be over for you. | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 7/5/2006 4:45:48 PM | | She sounds like she has some issues, not sure what, but shes the one that needs to find out what they are(everyone has their moments btw) I get the feeling that you want to help her, maybe try and make her happy, you are very selfless to do that, but your selfesteme has taken a beating over this situation. Everything should be 100/100, you want the happy ending....but she doesn't know what she wants. I say walk away, you gave her love and thats all anyone really has to offer, if she doesn't accept, then thats her loss. I don't think you need to get over her...i think you need to learn how to make yourself happy, stop trying to help everyone around you...help yourself find happiness, everything else will fall into place, do things that make you happy, take a trip concentrate on your passions, it all will help you forget her, and a long the way if bump into another wonderful girl, then you will know how to make her happy as well. | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 7/5/2006 5:11:21 PM | it's hard...but you need to let go.
keep busy... surround yourself with ppl you love... go out! and find something to distract your mind.
and when you want to pick up that phone to call her... DONT.... go out... go for a walk... check out porn...lol...something to distract you :) | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 7/5/2006 5:30:11 PM | The book is called Codependent No More and she also wrote Beyond Codependency (and getting better all the time). The author of both is Melody Beattie. Great books that should be read over and over! Hope this helps.
Erin. | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 7/5/2006 5:38:32 PM | | OK...your just way, way too cute to even put up with bull.... I say,no matter how tough, move on, find another, and I would bet a years pay, when she did find out you were dating someone else, she would come running back to you ! Try it... | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 7/9/2006 10:25:08 AM | | My wife left me and my 9 yearold little girl 2 weeks ago,i found out sence then she wasnt in love with me for like a year,,,thay lie very good,shes not in love with you anymore ,,,forget her ,,hate her thay both work for me:) | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 7/9/2006 12:01:20 PM | | any woman who treats you like this doesn't deserve you. she is not respecting you and you said yourself she is not what you want. she is making excuses for her behaviour to manipulate you instead of taking responsibility. if she truly loved you, her actions would speak louder than her words. maybe the girl really feels like you dont understand her and its her way of lashing out. u just need to try and focus on things to keep you busy. try hitting the gym or taking up other interests to keep you busy. i know its hard, but if you keep putting yourself through this it will only wind up hurting you more. | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 11/23/2006 8:30:24 AM | hey brother i know where your comming from. my x left a year and ahalf ago and we don't talk much,because everytime we do she has to mention one of her male friends and it tears me up inside. i put up with her many illnesses for years and just because i got depressed and a lot ****y,because of the job and her going to the bars after i went to sleep, she left. i do actually still love her,and our daughter, and i don't think there is anything going on with any of her male friends but i thought a wife should be a little different than what she is...sure it's ok to have male friends but i don't think it's right that she has to "go for coffee" so they can cry on her shoulder. can't they find another shoulder to cry on? maybe i'm wrong,but that's my opinion i guess. as far as affecting work....i don't have a job anymore... SOMEBODY HELP ME. | |
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| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 11/23/2006 9:11:55 AM | I think you have to feel the pain, we all go through this, and
we think we will die.
If you know she is not good for you, you have to just
press forward......... | |
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