| |
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 5/29/2008 11:53:10 AM | | time is a great healer....look else where ul find someone who will take u...warts an all...put the loss of cash done to part of a learning process ..move on....lifes to short... | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 5/29/2008 3:54:57 PM | | Oh wow, a creepy similarity with my recent ex. He says he needs space AND he happens to owe me 2k, though I am only asking for 1k back for now. Sheesh, love. | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 5/29/2008 4:31:08 PM | | 2 WEEKS!!!!!!! HA HA..... For me its been 6 months.....Feel weak? I almost passed out.... I just had a turkey sandwich after 2+ days of not even being hungry or thirsty.... had to force it down..... so far its cost me 72# over 6 months...... BUT I AM VERY HAPPY WITH THE LOSS OF WEIGHT...... Reality is it will take time..... Some of us still cry at night.... Yes grown MEN!!!!!!! But we, guys and some? gals in this CLUB are here to try to help...... I wanted too seek help at 3am this morning..... yes up all night too.... Things will get better and you will be better off and a better person when that special GAL walks into your life...... | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 5/29/2008 4:44:21 PM | I've been there ...
Listen carefully.....
You may not want to listen...
Move on....
I know it's inconceivable...
All you can think of is her...
All you want is her...
She seems to be your breath...
Your life....
But you must accept that f she has decided to move on ...
You must also..
Don't call her...
Be happy that it is not $200,000
If she cahnges her mind ... she will call you ...
If not ... you are better off without the pain....
AND MAKE NO MISTAKE >>>> you are causing your pain ...
Let her decide,..... and move on ......
eventually you will understand..... until then... just do it. | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:00:21 PM | Stop making your time with her to be some magical thing. You miss that? So many people that break up act like they are missing something incredible. If she was so bad to you then you should be happy she is gone.
See the reality of the situation. The problem is your self esteem is as low as can be. You are still trying to get with her? She has the time; she just doesnt want you and you need to move on.
Kiss the money goodbye. She used you; I know how that feels but you need to move on.
Love is action. This is now your fault. She doesnt' want you; she throws you a bone so you wont ask for the money or from another reason. SHE DOESNT WANT YOU! Stop looking at every tiny thing to think she does. You are really being needy and embarrassing and you need to get a hold of yourself and move on. You should not be in a relationship when you are so insecure. Good luck. | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:50:43 PM | | "OK...first off, I am a teacher--I have 14 ADHD kids in my class..." First off I think this term is being way overused. Just because someone is moody does not mean they're bipolar or ADHd. Shes insecure and shes using you to vent. Depending on whats going on in her life she treats you good or bad. Do not let her treat you like this. If she doesn't appreciate you, kick her to the curb. I do understand its hard because you love her but there are plenty other mature and understanding women. Go out and look and you will find the right one. | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:05:50 PM | Hey dude stop wussing out. My ex-girlfriend contacted me when she was down and I 'helped' her with over $15k and then when she got approved for SSID she dumped me
like a rag. But its ok because although she too is sweet and kinda cute she has BIGTIME self esteem issues and is absolutely horrrible with holding onto $$.
I also think that since she feels she OWES me the $$ this has created internal stress
although I never asked her for a dime of it due to her condition. I actually think I am the sucker thinking I was being a hero helping her w/ $$ but it only enabled her to
accept a less than stellar subsistence living on SSID instead of pushing for a full recovery of her condition. So I blame mostly myself but I found out she is not
for me in the long term. Plus she dumped me for a loser who stole some of her SSID $$ settlement. It hurt for about 1 week then I moved on....thankfully so! Find someone new and better my friend! | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 5/30/2008 4:02:44 PM | You poor guy, my heart goes out to you. I feel your pain.
Your a guy, you can go out by yourself. I see it all the time, just go out and make some friends. Join a gym, do volunteer work. Keep yourself busy. Don't call her anymore, it is only feeding your pain.
Give yourself a little time during the day to mourn, than make it a point to not mourn beyond that time. Give yourself pep talks. Occupy your mind by reading and writing. Try your best to not be idle. Eventually time will heal your wounds, but you have to pull away. | |
|
| When your ex says she wants time, what she means is
Posted: 5/31/2008 8:00:54 AM | time without hearing from you.
Write up a payment plan for the $2k, tell her to sign it, and she won't hear from you ever again, unless a payment is late.
Then move on with your life. Don't call, don't write. It's over. | |
|
| |
| |
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 5/31/2008 8:17:40 AM | I do feel for you. I am not a relationship counsellor. But I do counsel young offenders and have a degree in psychology. what you need to do is get the book "CO-Dependent No More" it is a good read and will help you to identify that what you are suffering is truly a withdrawl syptom of the co-dependency you were feeling. Co-Dependency is easy to recognize because it squews the way you perceive things.
You sound like you are smart enough to know she is not good for you...and honestly maybe never was..... Co-Dependency is driven by your own insecurities about being comfortable with your own company and convinces you to stay even when you feel its wrong. This is called cognitive dissonance this conflicting feeling. I say resolve yourself to her being gone, be thankful that she is, write off the money, and empower yourself to believe that you are absolutely content and whole in the world with or without a partner. It is then that you will attract your soul mate.
I will give you an original quote that I created and use because I was co-dependent most of my life. Then one day I had an epihany. this is my anology.....men are like a peice of parsley on my plate...they are a garnish...it is nice to have a garnish but not necessary to my meal (life). I create my own sustanance. You have to do the same make being with someone a "choice" NOT a need. you will start to see your life start to change. It is ok to get lonely but that is what friends are for. or pick up a new interest. I started going to the gym. That way I do it alone, meet some nice people and I will be a better package when I finally connect with someone again. Hope this helps...................... | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:38:35 AM | | why do u call her if it just keeps hurting you u need 2 move on and forget all about her play her at her own tricks hun find somebody who will love you for who u r and not money hun xxxxxx | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:28:29 PM | | You're being a revolving door for her, that safety net. I have a friend that's in this situation with his ex. As long as you keep that door open she'll keep coming back when she needs something. He is laying on the floor for her and doesn't understand where the muddy footprints on his back are coming from!!! She show's up when he gets paid, on HER birthday (NOT HIS), night before "ladies night out" (another joke/excuse), ect. Wow, and they say women are fools!! Best thing you can do (tho since this is such an old post I don't think it matters to the original poster now - atleast I hope not) is block her number!!! If she still owe's you either take her to court or write it off, don't use that as a reason to hold on. I would suggest court if your up to the stress, depends on how important it is to you, to some it's just not worth even seeing the ex. Realize you deserve better and move on, unless of course you like muddy footprints - some do. | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:37:41 PM | I just love these ancient threads that spring up by OPs that are no longer members.
It is funny to see people giving advice without realizing this fact, though. Then again, some people seem to need to play Dr. Phil just for the sake of it ?
Nah, they must be doing the Homer Simpson thing ( " I am so smart, S-M-R-T ! " )
  | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:53:50 PM | | do yourself and your life a favour.... sounds like very deep she is an unstable nutcase... or playing you like a fish... it's up to you, i'd get rid of her like a wart | |
|
| |
| |
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:55:30 PM | | Hang out with friends. If you don't have any, find some, or reconnect with old ones. Go to the gym. Go out and do things--whatever you like to do. Join a support group. Write your feelings down. Whatever you do, don't call her!!! You have to ride this part out and it won't be easy at first. There will be a time when it gets easier. There are some really good books out there about setting boundaries with people. Read them! If you feel you can win in small claims court, you have the option of suing her for the 2k. But then it will keep your feelings stirred up longer. You will also have the job of trying to collect the money. You may just want to call it a lesson learned for letting someone treat you badly. If you can learn not to ever do that again, I say it's money well spent. | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:58:04 PM | "you wouldn't understand" in this case = "I can't explain without making it obvious that I am in the wrong here."
It's a strange facet of human nature to be drawn to someone who abuses you. And that's what's happening here. You escaped from an abusive relationship but are afraid of being single out of fear of never finding a partner. Trust me, it's better to have no partner than an abusive one, and everyone can get a date. Granted even the best of us will have to go through many refusals from women who expect Mr Perfect to be single and ask them out, but I've seen many men who didn't have much in looks or personality pull some extremely high quality women, so there's hope for all of us.
The best way to escape the abusive relationship is to admit that you're afraid of never finding a partner. It's not a case of never finding a partner again because she never was yours, no abusive partner is ever really a partner at all. Once you've admitted this to yourself go out to bars and other places and just meet people. Don't go out specifically to hunt for women, but go out to meet friends, workmates etc, and if you see someone you like introduce yourself and just say why you felt like speaking to her and let it go from there.
Don't mention the abusive relationship. This will kill your chances of moving on and thus will increase the damage caused. You may want to talk about it a little after a month of dating, but strictly limit it to avoid being depressing unless she asks for more info.
Good luck, and let us know if there's anything else we can do. | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:13:28 PM | Well Im no expert, but I can understand how your feeling, on one hand you know she is no good for you, and on the other hand, apart of you still loves her and wants to be with her. Maybe you can start with trying to figure out just exactly why you want to talk with her? when she is so mean and rude to you? Why is it that you can not get this woman off your mind, woman that owes you money, treats you badly, and from what you are saying may have some personality problems, or emotional problems. I dont know her or you so I dont want to try and analyze this or tell you what to do. You did not mention if you had any children with this woman? or how long you two were together? or if you were married or just dating? With that being said, and not knowing much more, try and find a hobby something to keep you busy, and when you feel like calling her, do something else, even if you have to call a buddy and say I need to talk just about anything so I dont call her. This is NOT easy and IM sorry your having this pain in your life, I have been there a few times, and it's H*ll trust me! You can be strong and get through it, I promise, How bad do you want to move on? How much do you want the peace and harmony restored in your life? Life is too short to go through such misery! Little advice from a amature, PLEASE DONT find another till you are totally over her and she is not apart of your life, and existance, its not fair to the other person in whom you will be affecting. Just food for thought :)
I hope some if any of this helps you,
Good Luck | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:30:05 PM | Ok Mr. Italianovero....its nice to see that when you ask for advice here you get it, and quite a bit I see. So, sorry if i happen to repeat an advice already given, but i really dont have time to read all your intresting replies.
My personal and favorable advice that has worked for me in the past has been to not take out your emotions on material items around you, for they are ones that caused you your time to make for the better or worse. That means dont get rid of things around you for the purpose of forgetting her. For there will always be something, and its impossible to get rid of it all . Rather focus on yourself instead and your emotions. Dont deny them but reason with then in silence. Take some of that money that you would have been spending on her and take yourself on a trip and make an adventure for yourself (you deserve it). It will not only get you away from her but it will be relaxing and fun. Remember its what "you" make of the situation and not what "it" makes of you.
ALWAYS BE POSITIVE
and you will thank life down the road for this!
 | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:01:50 PM | Just wanted to thank everyone who posted a reply. I am sure there are a lot of people that were help by this and given hope. ( me included)
Stay strong! | |
|
| need some help..please..i am begging
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:17:35 PM | dear italian;
unfortunately there is no cure for pain except time. Most of us have been there and you do feel like a huge hole has been cut out of your chest and you could die - but believe it or not and altho you cant see this yet.....you wont! I got dumped once by someone whom I thought loved me very much and I know I did him - but he turned out to be just stringing me along. Fortunately i had some very special friends to stand by me and let me cry on their shoulder. Cry it out and get it out.
nothing is going to comfort you right now except a good friend and TIME.
Take care and God Bless  | |
|
Home
login 
