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| CIVIL WAR NO MORE
Posted: 2/28/2006 1:55:06 AM | @mesna-
she's probably been dating and not telling us about it
Dont know about upper hand..but ive known some ladies with naughty hands...
its all good i aint complaining | |
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| CIVIL WAR NO MORE
Posted: 2/28/2006 1:56:41 AM | you think??? hmmm... she should share her stories which if she's dating i'm sure she has some!!
"naughty hands"... now you KNOW that perks up my interest... you going to tell more??? OOPS.. got off the topic.. lol | |
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kce33
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Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 104 | |
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| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/1/2006 6:03:44 AM | Simple quick answer: Yes, women have the upper hand when it comes to dating. Men have to approach the women. Men have to strike up a conversation. Men have to ask for the phone number etc. That's just the way it works.
In most dating venues such as clubs, the internet, or even speed dating. Men outnumber women so the numbers favor women. Very few venues have the numbers in a man's favor (volunteer groups would be such an example).
Also consider that a woman that's been out in the field for a while has a pretty good idea of what her drawing power is. In other words she knows the types of guys she can attract. If she attracts very attractive men, that's what she'll choose. If she attracts men that are only so-so in the looks department, that's probably who she's likely to end up with. Basically, women don't approach because they don't have to.
Your first objective when approaching a woman is to get her to associate a pleasant feeling or a pleasant mood with being with you. You're not going to do that by telling her about how much you have to offer or what a nice guy you are. So get her to laugh, tease her a little, get her to talk about herself. Even then, you will get shot down more often than not. Remember what I said about the number advantage and about a woman knowing her drawing power. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 107 | |
| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/1/2006 9:29:27 AM | I wanna know all the places where women outnumber guys , I am not what women wnat in my mind , I want the odds better for me . most guys have it better than I .
Where are the women ? | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 108 | |
| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/1/2006 9:29:43 AM | I wanna know all the places where women outnumber guys , I am not what women wnat in my mind , I want the odds better for me . most guys have it better than I .
Where are the women ? | |
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| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/1/2006 9:42:42 AM |
Where are the women ?
I have already mentioned volunteering. It's a non threatening environment where there's likely dozens of women for every guy. You can also be sure that the women that volunteer tend to be very giving and have great hearts. They are low maintenance generally. Gold diggers don't volunteer.
New age workshops. Women are in abundance hear and there's generally a positive spiritual vibe as well as lots of discussions about love and soul mates. Just watch out for the loonies.
Cooking classes. Cooking is a domestic skill that won't really threaten a guys masculinity. A lot of restaurants or park districts offer them to drum up business. I think a lot of guys are starting to get a clue about these or women will go with their boyfriends or husbands, but I think there's still a fighting chance.
Book clubs. If you want an intellectual woman. This is the place. Make sure you read the book though.
Toastmasters. An international organization that has chapters all around the world (do a web search). It allows people to practice public speaking skills in a supportive environment. There's even competitions. Not to mention that when you speak in public, your posturing. Women eat this stuff up. How do you think musicians and actors get all the ladies? Plus being a good public speaker will make you more successful in other areas of your life.
This is all I can think of right now. Good luck. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 110 | |
| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/2/2006 9:20:17 AM | | damn sounds like a sacrifice of stuff , I guess I will have to swallow that pride and stop fixing stuff ... look at my feminine side ,,, Oh crap I found out that I have such a gigantic feminine side that it seems gay , I guess it will not be a sacrifice after all , I will fit in just fine, now where is my pirate blouse and man skirt ...? | |
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| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/2/2006 10:03:10 AM | ^^ holy crap you're negative. Yikes.
Women don't have the upper hand anymore than men do.
Men make decisions, women make decisions. All of which seems to lead to sour grapes everywhere. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 112 | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 114 | |
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| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/2/2006 4:10:40 PM |
I wanna know all the places where women outnumber guys , I am not what women wnat in my mind , I want the odds better for me ...Where are the women ?
They why are you living in California? Move to the Northeast--New York, Massachusetts. Avoid the South and the West. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 116 | |
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| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/2/2006 5:52:16 PM | sddude, I feel your pain, man. However, I really don't think that the Net or any venue in which the ratio
of men to women is so unfavorably skewed is a good place for you. So, as previously suggested by
another poster, you should get involved in activities that women like to do. Volunteering is a great way
to meet women while doing something worthwhile for those less fortunate. Attending classes at your
local community colleges is another option. Besides, it never hurts to learn something new. Try a Yoga
class. They are always full of good looking women. Believe me, Yoga is not an excercise for sissies as
most men seem to think. It is very challenging and will help you with your posture and flexibility. The
point that I'm trying to make is that you really don't have to go out of your way to get involved in
activities that have a male/female ratio more in your favor. Keep an open mind and you may even
enjoy those activities. Really, if you haven't had any success in all these years with your old
approaches, what have you got to lose by trying out something new?
Good luck, my friend. | |
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| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/2/2006 8:03:36 PM | Often times, who we are can be the biggest challenge when it comes to meeting women, I've found. For the longest time (I'm only 23, but we're going to ignore that for now; everyone has their experiences), I couldn't attract a woman no matter how hard I tried. Nothing ever seemed to work for me and that was a real pain. The problem was that I wasn't willing to talk to a woman I didn't know. When I fixed that little problem, then yes, things got easier, but I wasn't exactly beating women off of me with a stick if you get my point.
My thing was though, that one week, I would meet one new person every day or two. The next week, it would be two. The next week it was three; you get the idea. If I met a woman I thought was funny/interesting/smart/whatever you're looking for, I'd ask her for her phone number. If she said no, big deal; it happens. I would NEVER go more than three days without meeting a few new people though; that was the BIG part. It got me out of the house a lot more, which helped too. It could have been to window shop, take a walk along the river, go see a live band, whatever. As long as I tried to meet my goal of meeting people every week, I was taking small steps forward.
Something like that helps a LOT. It helps boost confidence, gives you something to do and if you have a specific goal (like: meet four women in one week and ask two for their phone number) then its that much easier (and more fun). If you achieve that goal, not only do you have those numbers, but you feel great as well. If you don't get the phone numbers, you can still say you went out and met some new people, which is cool too.
I think the thing that a lot of people don't understand though, is this; if you go a long time without being in a relationship, or every really moving forward in your interactions with the opposite sex, then it can feel like they have the upper hand. For the longest time, I felt that exact way. I still do feel that way sometimes, to this day. It can feel like you're not worth their time; like THEY are the ones that pick YOU. That feeling isn't only annoying, but debilitating as well. It is, however, only a state of mind and can be beaten. | |
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| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/2/2006 9:03:38 PM | YES IT SUCKS HERE
sddude, perhaps you should take a look at the Northeast. With all the military no doubt it does suck for guys where you live. I bet California is a great place for gals and if I was graduated from college and single, I might want to move to California because that's may be good for gals. After all, what is great for women is far more important than what's good for guys. What difference does it make if guys have to do without--they are guys. They can watch porn and do their thing. That's all any guy needs.
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| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/2/2006 10:11:06 PM | Re: YES IT SUCKS HERE
sddude, perhaps you should take a look at the Northeast. ...what is great for women is far more important than what's good for guys. What difference does it make if guys have to do without--they are guys. They can watch porn and do their thing. That's all any guy needs.
Kelley, for you to have an attitude like that probably does mean that women, at least young women, do have the upper hand. I believe when you have more experience with guys, you may learn that we do need a little more than porn. Most guys can enjoy a little porn, but there is far more to guys than a desire to watch porn and maybe give themselves a little physical relief. You need to learn to appreciate the other 95 percent.
SdDude, regardless of the above, Kelley is right about one thing in her prior post. Guys tend to go West while gals tend to go to the Northeast. Furthermore, with all the military, you don’t need to even look at San Diego to know that after high school to the mid thirties there are a lot more males than females. I selected the state New York and then Albany because it was the first city listed and found the following: For age 18 and over there are 41,064 females and only 35,509 males or 16 percent extra females. See: http://albanyny.areaconnect.com/statistics.htm
I then checked for marital status. Since men get married later I thought the number of divorced women to divorced men would be critical. So I went to the following site:
http://www.empire.state.ny.us/nysdc/census2000/HouseholdProfiles/SF3NYMAHHFam.pdf
Albany—Schenectady—Troy were grouped together. 34,425 divorced females to 25,343 divorced males. That’s 36 percent extra divorced females. Then because it was on the same site I checked New York City. The numbers were 356,160 divorced females to 203,109 divorced men or 75 percent extra divorced females. That means the divorced men are marrying younger females and the divorced females are finding it extremely difficult to get remarried. That’s horrible for them and great for the men. If they were smart they would move to California. And, single men living in San Diego should consider moving to New York or somewhere in the Northeast. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 121 | |
| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/5/2006 12:32:03 PM | ewww , living in the north east would suck , less surf and it is cold , yup I am wimpy about the weather , I guess I have to take the sucking situation and be viewed as inferior by other women her , the short little hispanic loser guy .
I guess I am fez , eeeeeewwwwww | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 123 | |
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| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:50:55 PM |
ewww , living in the north east would suck , less surf and it is cold , yup I am wimpy about the weather , I guess I have to take the sucking situation and be viewed as inferior by other women
Sddude, regardless of what Don Williams said, if you are not willing to go where the women are, you just proved my statement that all men need is to watch porn so they can do there own thing.
Not only that, but you only need to drive across the border into Mexico and you can buy sex cheap. You don't need anything else so why are you complaining. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 125 | |
| Do Women realy have the 'Upper Hand'? Ladies?
Posted: 3/6/2006 8:45:15 AM | I am celibate Kelly , I do not do sex unless I am married or gonna get married soon .
I do not watch porn , I have no porn at home and never will unless I am married and my girl wants it too , you think all guys have to do is have sex and watch porn to be happy , if that is true you do not know all guys .
You think that all guys live for is to jack off and that fixes all unhappines ?
I would love to meet a women and give her all that is me , give her the house the paychecks, be her lover , her friend , her hero, I was one once , was married now widowed , I want that again , it is so hard to meet women . When I met my wife , I guess I found one in a million she was so nice decent , loving , my best friend , my objective was to make her laugh hard all the time to see beer, coffee or milk go out her nose was an objective, for me she being incharge of my finances and money was a load off my brain , she was so good at that and did the best for me , being my best friend , I had no need to look elsewere for anyone , she was such a great lover , no porn star could match her , she was beautiful , a great wife and she dying in my arms told me that no women could ever ask for a better guy , she might have been lying , embelleshing or telling the truth , maybe it is not true but we were a great couple and never fought ever .
I want that again .
I actually want to be happy and meet someone nice and decent . I want to be happy once again with someone , have children , be the man of the house , the fixer of all broken things and problems .... Have someone to make happy .
Jacking off would not make me happy , just drained and frustrated mentally though the body would be calmed .
To move to find women would suck , I have a high paying job , why would I want to quit and work in a fast food joint ? , yeah then I will really get women then , like most women do not care about a guy's personal and economic success , yeah right . Even then women will still have the upper hand .
I guess I just suck , I wish I had the balls and ability to be a liar and a player , those guys like my friends have so much fun and women love them , too bad guys like me do not like to cheat in the basically women's game of dating. | |
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