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Show ALL Forums  > Religion  > My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth      Home login  
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 cherokeee51465
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 26
My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worthPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

You would have nothing to base it (sex) on if you'd never slept with anyone else before!

Yes a very good post, but the statement above really got me..... Did you forget about temptation? It will still always be there, and even though we may not have other sex to compare our partner to, we would always know that another man or woman would make love differently than our partner. Temptation and curiosity would get the best of us and where would we be then?
Same place we are now, like when they ate the apple!
 freetime4u
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 27
My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth
Posted: 11/18/2006 10:42:56 PM
I have to agree, we all have a past and we where all given a life to live. Sex is a part of that life. When you want to start that life, hopefully (a lot of sick @@@@@@@ out there) you can, waiting or not. it really is apples and oranges.
I hope that the math is wrong, cause it isn't right on me, or I’m using everyone else lives, lol. That’s sad, 4 hours in a lifetime; someone’s doing something wrong. a good sex life will help you have a better life, just because if anything you know how to enjoy yourself and hopefully more then 4 hours worth in a lifetime, lol.

me's 2 cents

p.s. me's not sorry for taken everyone else's 4 hours, , :roll ,don't think the girls where or will be, either,

Just a thought do you buy the first thing in a store that you come to, lol, no pun intended
 belladancer
Joined: 10/18/2006
Msg: 28
My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth
Posted: 11/19/2006 4:53:49 PM
Easytag, I've got to admit I have been pondering about your post for the last ten minutes. What an enticing subject area to write about and one that is truly close to my heart. I was with my ex boyfriend for almost 10 years and we both decided to remain sexually inactive until we were married. He could not keep his end of the bargain and you know what? After some anger/guilt/etc I realized I was thankful I had not slept with him. Maybe all this random sleeping around is the fashion with people these days but personally (and that's what is all about, personal choice) I couldn't do it. Perhaps it has to do with the way I was raised but if and when I sleep with someone I have to know that there is more attracting me to them then their looks. Some things are worth waiting for as the old cliché goes, I think. I don't necessarily believe it has to be marriage, but it has to be SOMETHING. There are too many unhappy endings and I believe in thinking before acting. I think I'm blabbing a little too much here...okay I'll stop.
 azzela
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 29
My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth
Posted: 11/19/2006 6:16:42 PM
i think you are absolutly right!...every one has to take care of his _her own temple!!
 13doodle
Joined: 11/5/2006
Msg: 30
My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth
Posted: 11/21/2006 3:57:34 PM
This is no different than any other generalization that attempts to pigeonhole the entire human race into. We are a pesky lot that is entirely too diverse to have it work out that way.
Does not engaging in sex before marriage prove a successful marriage? Obviously not. I do believe that postponing sex until you know a person much better is a wise move regardless of the situation, but then I am speaking my own personal preference. This time can be used to perhaps get to know someone more intellectually before the emotion and physical connection that develops from being intimate physically. It also heightens the anticipation and how can that be a bad thing
I recall listening to the Jim Bohanen (sp?) radio call-in program years ago on this very subject. There were all sorts of people with all sorts of stories, but the response of a woman in her 70's who called in and relayed her story. She had held out for a man to marry who wanted to wait until marriage to have sex because that was very important to her. She passed up many suitors. By all accounts some of them were very good men indeed. The man she found and married did not believe in sex before marriage, but apparently he did think it was okay to knock her around. She was in the abusive relationship for many years and finally left.
If we could simply focus on one thing as our problem and solving it would make everything okay, we would not only make a few million on the book and movie rights, but life would indeed at last be.....simple....but how boring would that be?!
Just be careful about generalizations. As a lover of mathematics I would like nothing better than for life to be an equation where if you did the right things you would get the answer(s) that you desire, but I am also aware that it is not...-sigh-
 skypoetone
Joined: 3/24/2005
Msg: 31
My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth
Posted: 11/21/2006 5:05:45 PM
I would agree that the OP has merit in his views. But it is a basic common sense that tells you why it's unhelpful to indulge in sex before marriage; it doesn't mean everyone shouldn't though. There are many, many, cases of lasting relationships between couples who have had pre-marital sex. My marriage was a point in question - it lasted almost 25 years - too much coitus before the wedding night had nothing to do with the breakup! AND I wouldn't need God to tell me otherwise - neither should anyone else.
 Titanvalley
Joined: 11/5/2004
Msg: 32
Thank you for that
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:42:11 AM
Sex without thought means you could become in union, with, what you are with what another is, and discover that one is cold and dark, a bad character, yet your wills and emotions...,... had union, were one. Too late though, you are stained with that persons impression for life. Short of a miracle.

He/she may be a strong lover, and later a kind one has to live with second best, cruel.

Character could become evident if he returns to bash up your new boyfriend or your dad, or if she aborts you foetus or something.

You can't see a character by looking at the skin. But the skin has appeal. Blind really.

You have gotta know the heart you join with first.

Marriage then sex, could mean the discovery of impotence, in the wife or husband. It can be treated now, but think of this happening in 1974.

Certainly as a matter of honour, premarital sex, wrecks things. The honour of being first, perhaps foremost is gone. Sex is somewhat common. Past attachments can fire up again.

In sex there is a kind of marriage, vows or not. By being born again you do have a fresh start, a freshened spirit, unmarried again. Honour partly restored. Different people respond differently. They may get big on valuing, love, friendship and honour and holiness...

I was born again after fifty alter calls when Ps Knutzen laid hands on me. There is living water and Jesus blood, to cleanse the conscience and give life. So loving response, and disregard...

I strongly recommend repentance, change of heart and soul from all known injustice and new birth. And find someone, pray for one who repented and was recreated too.

I think Lisa Bevere coined the phrase "Born again virgin" when her husband answered her questions about past lovers saying that because she is born again, she is a virgin. A new creation so a virgin.

Lust and love are quite different, yet look alike. Want, for something involving a giving and recieving, gently, looking kind, for want of pleasure, of the union, so being uncommitedly selfishly nice, looking generous, to a limited extent. Disregarding friends and family, past and future, loves.

Love is thoughtful, looks at her knows her, loves her, thinks of her past and future, friends and family, is commited, wants her happiness even at personal loss. Is kind.

Love, passion, lust and greed. Meanings overlap, yet end up quite different.
 indrinita
Joined: 9/18/2006
Msg: 33
My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth
Posted: 11/22/2006 7:05:13 AM
As ideal as it may be to not engage in sex before marriage, I think watts17 has nailed it, in her posts about this topic. Abstaining may have some benefits for many people, but it does NOT guarantee a solid marriage. In fact as nightwing66 has said, young people who are bound by religous beliefs to wait until marriage get married young quite often, in order to have sex, thereby lying to themselves they are with the right person. As a result of this they are more likely to get divorced. So it's kind of a moot point. I've seen it happen so many times where young people that come from these religious fundamentalist families get married, a few years later they're done. I don't think divorce is better than waiting before sex to get married (not to say that one leads to the other), but there is a whole lot of relationship experience that comes along with being with someone you are sexually intimate with. I think the OP is really counting that out in his calculations of the "benefits" of sex before marriage.
 skypoetone
Joined: 3/24/2005
Msg: 34
My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth
Posted: 11/22/2006 3:31:24 PM
It seems to me that religion wants to demonize those who feel human and want to express it. Sexual activity is natural at puberty, whatever age you define it. Women should celebrate their sexuality and men should too.... if there is anything wrong with sex before marriage, it is the inability to perform what is a natural born thing to do. My advice is, since marriage is all about compatibility,find a compatible partner.
 Interdimensional
Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 35
My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth
Posted: 11/22/2006 4:26:39 PM
Again, just think of how different things would be if God had his way


And how sir do you know what god's way is. This is crucial. God created the universe. he made us sexual creatures. i think you will find that for those who's organizations are the most sexually repressive...or those who have the highest incidents of what most would call perversion. Why. I look to nature when I want to try and fathom how god works. Nature indicates that healthy sexuality is good for the body and the mind and the soul. When people try to deny this they deny nature...evolution...the universe itself. Sex is creation and most religions have turned it into something else. Guilt guilt guilt guilt. I am not saying that those of you who have made the decision to be celibate have made an bad decision. If it works for you...wonderful..perfect...follow your path and i hope it leads you to happiness. But do not then try to find logical ways to "prove" that this is the right path for all and is as you said in your own words..."God's way" We each interpret God's will differently and so will all take different paths as we learn through our time in this realm. God is a God of variety...all the evidence indicates this to be so...just look at the world!!!!!!!!!!!
 26yearoldguy
Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 36
My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth
Posted: 11/22/2006 8:25:22 PM
Theres some good points. Honestly this is why the fact that people want someone to have sex with them quickly bothers me. I mean yeah I love sex just like anyone else but whether I was looking for a serious relationship, or just a casual encounter I actually want to have a good reproach with the other person. It just seems weird and unfathomable if the only thing that makes you get along with another person is sex.

Maybe im not cool for this attitude but if im going to be around a woman and she can't hold conversation or if we can't tolerate one another whats the point of even Associating.

I find it odd how it seems men and even women seem to be looking for someone just for sex or romance. Those things only last so long. I think if you can't hold neutral conversation or tolerate one another from the beginning. How long is a relationship going to go?

Something I think people should think about.

I guess for me it comes from the fact that I have to feel that I can trust and respect a person that im with. Whatever the basis of the relationship is.
 indrinita
Joined: 9/18/2006
Msg: 37
My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth
Posted: 11/23/2006 8:56:43 AM
Great point Interdimensional! And Frank too..
 sweetandreal
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 38
My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth
Posted: 11/24/2006 5:21:16 AM
My personal opinion is that sex is the most intimate thing there is in a relationship, and should never be taken lightly or given away freely to anybody. I dont' understand those who would choose casual sex with people they barely know. Does that make me a prude? Well, I have no problem with that!
 harmonyharvest
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 39
My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth
Posted: 1/21/2009 2:49:50 AM
I really enjoyed reading your post 'easytag'. Although I do not get how the average premarital sexual encounter is around 10 minutes. Where were these stats from anyways? When I had sex it sure lasted more than ten minutes. Gosh golly, sorry you average people out there; try harder next time. Or wait till marriage;love is about the person, not their "sexual race drive stamina" or lack their of. I choose to abstain from sexual intercourse myself. I want to wait till marriage because sex without the love involved, does not turn me on at all anymore. As well, my own personal beliefs say it is wrong before marriage. Some might ponder "why did you break that rule then" and my reply back for those curious minds, is that my faith was not as strong then and I had allowed life experiences to drag me down. Today I dont allow this and I know what I want. As for reasons to wait such as STD's, I can certainly vouch that this is a very good reason. A few years ago I contracted the herpes virus from someone that knew they had it and neglected to inform me. Since not everyone has symptoms or outbreaks, the chances of passing on this virus without knowing it are abound. HSV can be detected by a blood test between outbreaks, but the results are not always cut-and-dry. Therefore many people have this virus and do not know it. Taking the risks means living with the consequences. A guy I cared about and the feeling was mutual, did not want to be with me because of my virus. I was sad of course, but life goes on and there is many people who are not bothered by this. I have met people that have told me my personality is what they care for and are willing to take the risk, but we remain friends because I am not intrested in more. Another thing, is that when having babies a c-section may need to be done to protect the child from getting the virus. I am one of the fortunate ones as I have not had an outbreak in a long time, some are not so blessed. Be safe. If you have to wet your willy or jump up on the saddle; ride with protection.
Show ALL Forums  > Religion  > My own opinion on sex before marriage...take it for what its worth