|
|
|
|
|
DTM82
|
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 301 | |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/6/2008 10:00:10 AM | | only read the first post, but I had my own front door at 17, forgive me but I feel that to date someone now who lives with a parent or in the same building as a parent but pays rent is one step too much - I don't want the hassle of it all. Have known some men to be at home into their late thirtys - good for them but at 26 I prefer living on my own n answering to no one. (prob why i'm single still! lol) by 30 would expect someone to live on their own,. | |
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/6/2008 3:12:51 PM | ^^^
And yet, at 21, after having been on my own for 4 years, paying for my schooling, rent, transportation, food etc. all on my own, I had enough in the bank for a downpayment on my own home. It's about money management, not about how long you can milk mommy and daddy.
For the record, I also had enough to make a trans-continental move, shortly after my 22 birthday.
I think that a lot of the time, the "saving money" thing is an excuse not to take on real world responsibilities.
Just sayin' | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/6/2008 3:40:35 PM | I also notice the people that criticize or complain about people who still live at home are those who were forced out by their parents or had other problems and have to pay bills! I'm 27. I have it good at home. Live rent free, cause no problems. Currently saving money, why move when you have it good?
I had it good like yourself as well, however I still felt I was much too old to be living at home when I was 27 considering I had graduated from Univerisity and been working full-time for 4 years by then. This was more than enough time for me to save up a downpayment and purchase my first home; and so I did and moved out as soon as my place was ready. I didn't have to give up my lifestyle or my love of travel---I still had it good when I moved. My parents did not force me out---quite the opposite and I never had issues paying my bills.
I would prefer that the person I date also lives independantly, however I do recognize that individual circumstances vary and sometimes it's necessary to still be living with parents. I find out the facts first before making a decision to date them or not. "Having it good" when you should be old enough to be taking care of yourself is not a good reason in my books. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/6/2008 3:54:53 PM |
I plan on living at home until I'm 28. Hell, even 30. Because it makes no sense not to. Because its simply idiotic to go out and pay rent to a third party where I'd rather just pay it to family members ior. Its not for lack of funds, I don't foresee I'll have much difficulty there. Its because I'd rather have the money in the bank and the security to know I can live where I want and how I want.
My brother is a a 27 year old engineer and lives at home. He has absolutely no problem getting girls and more money than most people on here who will claim he's a moocher. Alternatively, I have many friends who work minimum wage or thereabout and live in apartments not even 2 miles form their homes and yet, 'for some reason' are in constant money problems. So you tell me, they're more mature simply because they've decided their decision to leave alone makes them so? I think its far more immature to
And you know what? I'm close to my family. I'm sorry so many of you are desperate to get away from your family, but I actually enjoy mine. I want someone who will appreciate that and not feel 'independent' enough until we're two cities over. If I tell a girl I plan and living at home until I'm 30 and she's turned off, well good riddance. She can go move in with my much more mature buddy who has his own sweet apartment and works at Pizza Hut.
Good God, nice attitude - and such lofty ambitions; to mooch off the parents who raised you until you're a well grown man at the age of *cough cough* 30. And you have an engineer brother who does this as well. How manly! Does your Mommy wash your Underoos and make you peanut butter sandwiches for you too?
So what that some are on their own yet making minimum wage and have a tough time of it. That's how you grow in life, that's how you develop as a person; that's how you mature -- by learning that you have to budget and be responsible and no you maybe can't go drinking every weekend. How the hell do you learn responsibility when you live rent free and don't have to concern yourself with the things most adults do; rent, utilities, groceries, budgeting? You, my friend, are a Mommy's boy and good luck finding yourself a good woman one day. No woman in her right mind is going to respect a man who's 30 yrs old, who's a mooch that hasn't cut the apron strings. Mommy's boys are needy, clingy, have a real sense of entitlement (as you express here) and don't have a strong sense of independence or strong work ethic because they didn't need it -- they lived carelessly with Ma & Pa.
Many of us moved out from the nest in our very early 20s and surely not because we didn't love our parents, or because we didn't have a good and close relationship with them; we did so because our desire to be independent young adults was strong -- and we relished the opportunity to fend for ourselves and really be out there in the real world, instead of tied to Mommy's apron strings.
Did it ever occur to you that you're very selfish? Did it ever occur to you that maybe your parents would like some privacy to themselves? They raised their babies -- yet you and bro still remain underfoot. How rude. I'm sure no parent is going to tell their kid to 'get lost' so they just count the days until Junior grows some balls and gets out onto his own.
There is nothing like the pride one has from having to work hard and sacrifice and grow up and make choices and budget and save - in order to achieve goals --- but you're not going to 'get that' ever, because you're a Mommy's boys and you are clearly quite proud to be one! Sad this next generation. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/6/2008 4:01:05 PM | | hey kubla khan your an ***hole. you piece of shit. i,ve been on my own since i joined the marines at seventeen and im fifty five now. if my mom needed or wanted to come and live with me you can bet i would welcome her open arms. after all they took care of me. and i personally think your lower than a snakes belly. once again your nothing but a piece of shit. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/6/2008 5:47:56 PM | I think that a lot of the time, the "saving money" thing is an excuse not to take on real world responsibilities.
I think that a lot of the time, the "I won't date someone living at home because he must be an imature deadbeat mooch" thing is just an excuse insecure, jaded singles give themselves because they're not really ready for a good relationship.....
If you ever want to find the love of your life...you better open yourself up and be as subjective as possible.....
Many of us moved out from the nest in our very early 20s and surely not because we didn't love our parents, or because we didn't have a good and close relationship with them; we did so because our desire to be independent young adults was strong -- and we relished the opportunity to fend for ourselves and really be out there in the real world, instead of tied to Mommy's apron strings.
My desire not to have to work two jobs in order to give all my money away to some filthy rich old miser of a landlord is why I DIDN'T move out in my very early twenties.
My desire to live a balanced HEALTHY lifestyle is MUCH stronger than my desire to be "independent" ...oh btw....how independent are you REALLY...you certainly depend on your employer to pay you every period so you can pay all your bills....tied down to a schedule that you don't set....busting your ass to make your greedy boss richer....oh but you're so INDEPENDENT....what happens when you get laid off....that helpless feeling strikes when you get the news....now you're dependent on the government to help you out in the meantime.....
Yes...I'm a MAN who lives with his mom because he's in the process of building his own business after getting laid off....I'm a MAN because I choose to be REALLY independent...never again to be exploited by greedy old men with silver tongues and fat wallets....I'm a MAN because I've been BUDGETING long enough to realize that another year living with my mom could potentially save me somewhere between 5-10 THOUSAND DOLLARS of interest on mortgage payments...I'm a MAN because mama didn't raise no fool...I've EARNED everything I have and have a very HEALTHY relationship with my mom....and I'm a MAN because I sure as hell don't let any jaded, judgemental single women tell me otherwise....I don't need your approval to feel good about myself..... | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/6/2008 6:20:33 PM | | ^^^hey, however you wanna justify using your Mommy and making a lot of excuses as to why you do so. And don't worry, if I get laid off - like you did - I surely won't be going home to live with Mommy - when you work hard and have a great career, you make great money - and you put money aside so that you could potentially afford to 'live' for some time until you find another job. Does your Mommy wash your underwear? | |
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/6/2008 7:12:26 PM | | I don't think it's a question of being too old, but rather one of being immature. There are some people who live with their parents because they won't grow up, and then there are others who live with their parents for various other reason. The Peter Pan who just wants to play video games, and have Mom & Dad support them the rest of their lives are going to be the same at 40 as they where when they where 18. Those people need to be pushed out of the nest, other people don't. For example, a man I know that has never had his own place has a full-time job, pays the bills, and works his ass off. He stays at home because his parents have health problems, and doesn't want to see them suffer. As far as myself, I'm living at home right now and I'm 25. I moved out when I was 18, moved in again at 20, moved out at 21, and recently have moved back in with my mom because I'll soon be going through a divorce, and starting college for the first time in the fall. In many ways I'm immature and so is everyone else, in others I'm fine. As far as dating someone that's living with their parents is concerned, it doesn't matter to me. When my STBX and I met she was living with her mom because her family had gone through the death of a loved one, and now that the marriage has fallen apart she's living with her mom again. There are many reasons beyond just caring for family to live together as well. In this economy it's a wonder anyone can afford to live solo anymore, and as such more people are living in multi-generational households these days. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/6/2008 7:55:21 PM | It depends on the circumstances. In some cultures it is normal and expected to live with extended family. Many people even in the USA care for sick elderly parents in the parents or childrens home. I think maybe your question is "how old is too old to still be living 'OFF' your parents?"
My opinion?....If your 21 or over and not in college and your parents are still supporting you, its time to get yourself a life. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/6/2008 10:12:51 PM |
That's great, lucretia, and I'm curious what kind of job a 17-year old possibly could have had to earn enough money to pay for all that.
Two jobs, actually. Once I turned 18, though, I totally cut it back to just stripping on weekends. That was more than enough to pay for my simple lifestyle. 
Like I said, it's about money management. I think that, aside from physical and mental disabilities, there is no need to live at home, as an adult.
I just don't understand how if I can manage to look after myself, while paying for school and other luxuries, someone who works full-time, can't manage to put together money for a home.
Seems to me that more often than not, they just don't want to.
Oh, and in response to someone who said that not wanting to date someone who lives at home, has something to do with *our own* insecurities...keep dreaming, pal! I have much less to be insecure about, than any mommas boy.
For the record, I posted in this thread when it was first started, and gave my official stance on the matter. Since reading further comments, I just had to mention again that some of the young population manage just fine without mommy and daddy's assistance, and that the "saving money" thing can happen anywhere, if you infact want it to. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/6/2008 10:53:44 PM | Oh, and in response to someone who said that not wanting to date someone who lives at home, has something to do with *our own* insecurities...keep dreaming, pal! I have much less to be insecure about, than any mommas boy.
OK...I'm curious...if you are 100% ready and willing to meet your match...how could you possibly be going through life looking at these people and automatically calling them "moocher's" and "mama's boys" ....writing them off in an instant....YOU are searching for the negative...searching for excuses not to date someone.....
Let's get real here....everyone knows that 99% of the time...adults living with parents are usually just going through a transition period....
I'm assuming from your posts that you value a hard working man that takes charge and is financially responsible....I'll tell you what...those are precisely the qualities you're passing up when all you can see is a moocher in some of these people.....
Perhaps it may be jealousy? Jealousy of the dudes relationship with his parents? The fact that he actually has parents that are WILLING to help him get to an optimal position WAY faster than if he was forced to find an apartment and throw $500 or more a month down the tubes....jealous of the fact that he'll be spending a shit load less interest on his mortgage while those dirty bankers are just raping you on your mortgage payment?
I totally cut it back to just stripping on weekends
oooooo what? $100 minimum tax free tips a night on top of your wage?
Now THAT'S money management! hahahahahahahaaaa | |
|
| |
DTM82
|
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 318 | |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/6/2008 11:34:49 PM | No one has ever paid my rent for me. I have always supported myself & my son. I go without a lot so he has a roof over his head and personally find little boys who live with their parents have no concept of what living in the real world ie running a house paying bills etc entails. All the want is to go out get drunk and have the latest gadget/clothes.
oh and also I have a fantastically close relationship with my parents, always have I eat with them twice a week, and they at mine once a week, they're there if needed for emergencies but i've not needed it. (other than a baby sitter now n again)
25-30 living at home isn't right, I wouldn't want to be passing someone's mum on the stairs if on occasion I stayed over - totally disrespectful to their parents. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/6/2008 11:37:28 PM | wow there are some shallow people on here!!
the first thing ive noticed about a lot of the replies on here are that a lot of the people who replied that someone has to be out of the home by 20 , 22 etc say they have "gone to university" all those replies come from Canadians . The educational programs up there are WAY different than the US. its much easier to afford school up there versus the states. I'd like to see you make that happen down here as easily as you made it happen up there. there's no student welfare or any of that stuff down here. sure you probably got a job at a supermarket and were able to pay for college, but it doesnt work like that down here. even community college is getting too expensive for people to afford when they are living on their own without working 2 or more jobs. not everybody qualifies for student loans, and coming up with tuition books lab fees etc is pretty damn hard when you gotta pay 400-500 a month for a dump of an apt, plus electricity, gas food phone bills and all that. sure you could work 2 jobs, but when would you have time to study? try living in rural america where you'd be hard pressed to find a job that pays more than 9-10 bucks an hour, live on your own and pay for school? i think not, unless you are one of the very lucky few who get some kind of scholarship (less than 1%) sure there are student loans, but if your parents make over a certain dollar amount you dont get them. and if they dont make enough to help send you without student loans, what are you gonna do then? work 2-3 jobs? i doubt it would last very long.
and the other group i see saying the same thing are considerably older than those twenty somthings they talk about- times are way,WAY different from when you were young adults in the 60's 70's and 80's. you just cant make it working most hourly jobs the way you used to except for factory work that turns you into a mindless robot. is that really living on your own? i wouldnt call it living, thats for damn sure. not everyone is lucky enough to stumble into a 30- 40 grand a year entry level job. times have changed , i'd like to see you start off on your own in your early 20's in todays world and see what you have to say about things then. nobody wants to pay people a decent wage for a good days work anymore, job outsourcing, cutbacks, increasing profits while reducing costs have seriously cut into the quality of life one can achieve without a college degree- unless you know someone in the right place at the right time.
when i say living and quality of life i dont mean going out every weekend partying, buying clothes and gadgets and electronics to keep up with current fads or trends. im talking about not being stuck at home every single night unable to occasionally go out with your friends because you dont have the extra money, eating ramen noodles for dinner every night, hoping your POS car wont break down again because you dont have the extra cash to fix it if it does. or even going out with friends, like maybe once a month or so and not buying more than one drink or not eating anything other than an appetizer or the cheapest meal on the menu because you dont have any extra cash. makes you feel completely pathetic and embarrassed even though you are "making it"
now there are some people who truly are mooches, have the means to move out or save up some cash for a down payment on a house and instead blow their money on toys and cars while making no attempt to better themselves. the guy who bought a $48k BMW and still lives at home? douchebag!
i dont know how some of you expect to find true love when you're looking at the size of the person's paychecks and not their heart. a lot of those who say they wont even look at someone because they live at home or dont have a good paying job mention going thru a divorce at some point. my cousin is 40 , lives ina very nice suburb of chicago, has 2 homes valued at over $500k each, and is well on her way to her second divorce. why? because she married 2 different guys who she liked but didnt truly love, just because they had good jobs and would be a good provider to her kids. she really regrets the decisions she's made and i dont blame her. she actually told me last time i visited she would rather be poor and living in a trailer as long as she was happy with her man and married for love and not money. I know you have blown off some of the nicest good hearted people just to hook up with arrogant, selfish, ***holes/****es because they have money. maybe you should stop and take a second look at some of those people and talk to em, you'd be surprised at what you'd find inside their heart.
ok you're all probably wondering about me right?
im 32 , yes i still live at home. do i like it here? hell no! do i wana leave ? hell yeah!. i've tried several times. even tried moving out of state to get a better paying job. i didnt stick it out because i could see that things were not going to work and cut my losses before i dug myself into a hole so deep that it would be several years before i could try again. about 7 years ago, moved out with a girl i met, signed a lease, and was fired from my job the very next day. but i stuck it out, doing side work etc until i could find another job.we were both working our tails off just to barely make ends meet. we fought all the time over money and bills. we didnt go out at all, didnt treat ourselves to anything at all. after 9 months of that we moved out, and in the process i lost nearly everything i had except for my bedroom furniture and about 1/3 of my clothes. that also caused the end of the relationship too. is that living? i dont think so.
my parents are in their early 60's, and they dont pay for anything for me, i have managed to at least keep up with all my financial obligations and not beg them for money. my dad was forced out of his job 6 months before his 20 year mark. he's also had bypass surgery within the last 5 years and is showing signs of alzheimer's, so he can no longer take care of the house, so i do all the yardwork and repairs to the house. my mom does my laundry even though i tell her not to(half the time my clothes end up in my dads closet and i cant find em till a month later). if i get home before they do i usually cook dinner. my mom saw some adirondack chairs at lowe's she really liked but they could'nt afford em at $220 each. for her b- day i went to the hardware store bought raw lumber and made her a set. as of a month ago i lost my job due to the recession, that industry is gone and will never come back. i loved my job, even though it didnt pay what i wanted it to. now i have to start all over from scratch in the beginnings of a depression. so as of last week i decided to enlist in the army. i get to learn a new trade, pay off all my debts, move out with a pretty reasonable chance of success and serve my country all in one shot. i know im not a mooch because i want to leave and have done everything i knew how to get out of here. fate just didnt work with me. i know im a MAN because im man enough to admit my mistakes and poor decisions in the past and regret them. im also man enough to realise its time for a drastic change if i ever wana really make something of myself and have a chance at being successful. the one thing i regret the most was not doing this sooner, but at least im man enough to enlist and make a major change instead of saying" screw it, too late now why bother?"
dont judge me till you've walked a mile in my old worn out shoes.
a very wise philosopher once said-
"whatever happened to falling in love with a nigga that just has a bus pass?"
makes you think doesnt it? | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/7/2008 12:57:26 AM | I left home for a private military school several hundred miles from home my Junior year of high school. I was 17 yrs. old. Two years after graduating from military school, and summarily after flunking-out of an away-from-home college, at 22 yrs. of age I left to begin as a sales trainee 500 miles from home, then 1,000 miles away, then 1,500 miles away. Other than visit, I never came home to live. I saved up and paid cash for my first new car to travel and work out of as a self-employed sales rep. at 23 yrs. Read that as totally self-sufficient by then. Never looked back, gainfully employed ever since. Something worked right for me.
One of my Brothers didn't leave home until his mid-30s. Mom and Dad supported him in their home and provided a car for transportation, and 100% of his tuition, books, clothes, etc. to a local college as a day student. It took him almost 15 years to graduate with a 4-year degree in Business Administration in his mid-30s, and got married right after graduation day. He never did get a job, and to this day his wife supports him. I would classify him as a loser. Since he's always been a lazy b*st*rd. He had a heart attack two years ago while in his 40s. He's fat, drinks heavily, (a drunk) sedentary, uses tobacco, and is still unemployed at 51 yrs.
What's the right number to leave home? I don't know, I just know what worked for me, and what didn't work for another family member. Would I date someone that still does live at home? Not a chance. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/7/2008 2:04:56 AM | One guy I know, he lived with his parents well into his 40s. Not only that, he's got the wife and the kids all living under the same roof too. He has always had a good paying job and I suspect that he had helped mom and dad out financially when called upon. Eventually, about 10 years ago, he bought a house next door to the parents and had since moved to live on their own. He is now enjoying a very comfortable retirement in his early 50s, and his marriage of nearly thirty years is as solid as ever.
Momma's boy and a loser? I think not. He is just very smart with his money. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/7/2008 2:27:15 AM | | Depends on the situation. If he was just plan lazy and had no ambitions in life then i would say....looser ! But on the other hand if the situation was that one of my parents needed to be taken care of for special needs like health reasons I would be there for them hands down no questions asked. My family is my first priority above me who could ever repay them for all the things they have ever done for me. | |
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/7/2008 6:09:06 AM | Okay guys, I was totally kidding about the stripper thing.
I did work two mediocre jobs, while paying for school. (University NOT college.) I did pay my own rent (Though i'll admit I had an outrageously good deal for a gorgeous 6 bedroom home.) I did pay my utilities, and anything else that needed paying for. I had one loan in my first year of university that was paid WHILE going to school, because I didn't want to come out of school in debt. I didn't.
I did have enough money for a downpayment on a home, by the time I finished school. I hate to break it to you, but there was no magical job I had that made me a ton of money. I made enough to get by, and then some, so I put the extra money away into investments.
I assure you that i'm not jealous of the guy who lives at home, nor am I going to overlook him. If he has a good reason to be there, and it isn't out of laziness, there is no reason for me to look past him, is there? I feel that most of the guys I have met that lived at home, were there for one reason only and it was that they weren't grown up enough to leave. They were lazy, and unmotivated. Half of them were unemployed, but that's a discussion for another forum.
Yes I do value someone who works hard, but I also value someone who has an understanding of what it's like to be an independent adult, and a desire to be one. I don't classify all people that live at home as "mommas boys" (that was uncalled for, i'll admit!) and I don't think they're all moochers. I do think that those that live there by choice, well into their twenties are taking away from their own adult lives, and those of their parents. It's not fair nor right for anyone involved.
Oh, and if i'm with a man, I don't want to have to worry about waking up his mommy, when I stay over. | |
|
| |
|
| Page 13 of 17
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 |
|
Home
login 
