|
|
|
|
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/7/2008 12:26:57 PM | @Wutz
Did it ever occur to you that my brother and I pay most of the bills for our household? Did it ever occur to you that my mother is a widow and would prefer not to live alone? I've lived alone for 9 months of the year for the last 7 years and paid my own expenses through work and loans. I find it a waste of money. Thats all.
I have 60 thousand dollars in school debt. I think its far more irresponsible to move out and pay additional money to someone not within my family simply to fulfill your childish idea of maturity.
Really, I don't think I'll ever take 'advice' from a 40 year old woman who still takes pot shots at someone she doesn't even know like "does your mommy still clean your underoos." I don't know where your vitriol comes from or whether its evidence of some kind of past hurt, but you could stand to widen your perspective a little. Not everyone who lives at home is a mooch and not everyone who lives on their own is a brave soul worthy of praise.
The point being: check your presumptuousness. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:40:31 PM | | hey like i said, thats prolly why she's still single. has total lack of understanding for other people who werent handed the same opritunities as she was. period. 35K in student loans, which means you'd have to find a job that pays 50K plus a year WHILE YOU'RE IN SCHOOL- to come out debt free after school, which she claims anybody can do. BULL SHYT! grow up and quit being so judgemental lady, you might not die alone if you do. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:53:34 PM | I say 25 is the cutoff for my kids, by then school should be done with and if they are going futher, they need to be out on their own to do so. At 25 the maturity level should definitely be there to be able to maintain an apartment and pay bills. If for some reason they decide not to go to college, after high school, I'd give 'em 'till about 22. They can work full time, save as much as possible, then they get the boot out of the nest, hopefully with a pretty nice bank account to get started with independence.
 | |
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:49:36 AM | Oh boy..
has total lack of understanding for other people who werent handed the same opritunities as she was.
It's not about a lack of understanding or opportunities that some get, and others don't. Assuming that people who are independent have been handed any opportunity that you weren't, is just as bad as assuming that someone who lives at home is a "mooch". Congratulations, you've just perpetuated a screaming generalization! 
Again, I'm going to use myself as an example...
I grew up in a house where we froze sometimes cause our furnace broke and we didn't have the money to fix it. I grew up in a house where we didn't have a phone, because it got cut off when we didn't pay the bill. We ate candlelit dinners quite frequently, because the power was cut off.
I worked really fvcking hard to get out of that sort of life. I busted my ass, scraping up the credits I needed, and getting the grades I needed, to go to University. When I went to University, I busted my ass to make sure my bills were paid (by me, and only me, thanks!) and I busted my ass to get good grades. When my fiance left me high and dry with a lease in my name for an apartment I couldn't afford, I worked harder, to make more money, to make sure that the rent got paid. That's what adults do.
How ironic that someone who likely has a nice hot dinner placed infront of them by mom, everyday, wants to talk about having things handed to them.
My point is that most people work hard for what they have! That's the idea. That's something to be proud of. I don't struggle with anything, anymore. It's not stupid to be on my own, because paying bills is hard. Life is hard. The real world is hard. The thing is...at some point, everyone has to face it. Why not conquer it in youth, than wait until you're 40, and, God forbid, you're forced to because mom and dad aren't around anymore?
There are exceptions to every rule, but from what i've seen here, a lot of people seem to feel entitled and justified in taking away time and money from their parents...and that's sad to me.
You can say that because I value someone with a sense of independence and hard work, that i'll die alone, but you'd be wrong. The thing is, the man who lives at home until (or when) he is forty, is more likely to die alone than the woman who works hard for everything she has, and values it that much more. It's not shallow, it's not close-minded. It makes sense. If i've done it, and my friends have all done it, chances are, there are many, many men who manage to do it.
Men who won't ask me to move into their mom's basement with them, when the time comes. | |
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:53:08 AM | Nope. Unless for medical, financial or physical reasons the parent couldnt take care of themselves... why should some adult still be living at home like they're still a dependent?
Yes! Men who still live at home are usually in no hurry to grow up, become independent or financially responsible. Are those the kind of traits you really want in a future partner?
The only time it might be acceptable for a man to still be living at home is if he’s taking care of aging parents or has temporarily fallen on hard times. In these cases, give him a temporary break. | |
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/8/2008 12:09:15 PM | i havent met anyone with that double standard yet but it does seem rather ridiculous.
i live with my mother and i am 24 i will be going to school but i see people who would never date someone because of thier live in situation as incredibly shallow and spoiled. My mother and I are very much intertwined in providing for the house. she is on disability and has a pension comming in but that alone is not enough to pay for the house so i step in and cover the other expenses. we just got new tenants in the basement suite so now we dont need to pay as much into the house but it still takes a good chunk of change.
If i were to move out of the house my mother could not afford to keep it. and besides my cats are there and i like my cats. so i take a denial like this somewhat seriously cause being able to live on your own at a young age is a privelage very few people have in the world and is not a very good excuse to not date someone. | |
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/8/2008 1:17:55 PM |
You just ripped on him for generalizing and then you proceed to spend your entire post generalizing.... ok.
You know what? You're right. (Though there were two generalizations, not an entire post worth, because truthfully, most of my post was about me.)
So where I said "likely has a hot meal placed infront of him by mom, everyday." let's change that to "Still lives at home, because it's easy" I think that's a fair thing to say, and still implies that he's getting it a lot easier than most of the people who do not live at home, thanks to the opportunity his parents handed him.
And um...about moving into mom's basement...that may or may not happen, but it sounds like several of the people here are quite comfortable living with parents (whether in the basement or main floor, or second floor...) and I certainly wouldn't put it past them. Infact, I think I saw a post from someone who said that a guy moved his wife in with his mother?! Come on...
Sidenote: Does pointing out other people's flaws help you to ignore your own?
For the record, I totally get you on school not coming cheap. I've been through it. I can understand if someone lives at home while going to school, though it wasn't my own personal choice. I can respect someone who moves home to deal with an ill family member, or if they are ill their self (Surprise! I live at home right now!) I can respect many situations, but once it crosses the line into sheer ignorance, you lose all of my respect.
I don't respect the 30 year old who lives at home because it's cheaper. I don't respect the 40 year old who lives at home because he is laid off. (I'm sorry, but I honestly and truly believe that if you lose a job, you get off your ass and get another one, even if it's just "flipping burgers") I don't respect the 20 year old who works full time and never left, because they don't care about being independent or invading the time that their parents finally get to spend together. I don't respect the person who claims they are "saving money" (My sister did this for over a year, and had absolutely nothing to show for herself, when she finally got kicked out!)
And I do believe in kicking a kid out, when they're choosing not to live their life, because it's easier staying exactly where they are. It's a big world, and a short life. I just don't think I could share it with someone who felt that never leaving where they started, was okay. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:36:23 PM | I don't respect the 30 year old who lives at home because it's cheaper. I don't respect the 40 year old who lives at home because he is laid off. (I'm sorry, but I honestly and truly believe that if you lose a job, you get off your ass and get another one, even if it's just "flipping burgers") I don't respect the 20 year old who works full time and never left, because they don't care about being independent or invading the time that their parents finally get to spend together. I don't respect the person who claims they are "saving money" (My sister did this for over a year, and had absolutely nothing to show for herself, when she finally got kicked out!)
Why not they are being smart and saving up you may call it being cheap but others see it as preparing for the future.
And I do believe in kicking a kid out, when they're choosing not to live their life, because it's easier staying exactly where they are. It's a big world, and a short life. I just don't think I could share it with someone who felt that never leaving where they started, was okay.
So it is better to kick them out so they can live in a crappy apartment barely making it and hating there life. Sure whatever you say that is beter. LOL at people ignorance | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:28:26 PM |
Why not they are being smart and saving up you may call it being cheap but others see it as preparing for the future.
I prepared for the future just fine from my own home.
If they choose to live in a crappy apartment, then it's their choice. Again, myself and all of my friends who are in their early twenties all managed to reside in nice places. Most (read: all) of my friends now own their homes. They are university educated, have careers, some of them have children of their own to support, etc. None of them lived at home past the age of 18.
I know i'm not a minority, because everyone I know has done the same thing as me. I just don't understand why kids (in particular) use this "saving money" line of bullshit as a reason to be at home. It's an excuse, in most cases. | |
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:59:33 PM | I lived with my parents to save enough for a down payment. But unlike many, I actually did save enough for a down payment.
Bought my first place, sold it a few years later, pocketed the profit, and returned home for six months. I then bought my second (current) place. And I live in the most expensive place on the planet.
Many of my peers who moved out at 18, 19, 20 are still struggling as if they are still 18, 19, 20. It's cute when you are that age but not so cute when you're in your mid-thirties.
There are a lot of people who shamelessly live with their parents out of laziness or dependence. They don't want to leave the comfort zone. Those people have problems. At the same time, I don't think people should automatically leave home at a pre-determined point in time without considering all the factors. Had I done so, I would not be in as good a position as I am now. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:38:09 PM | | I think it depends on the situation. I lived in a one bedroom apartment for 7 years before I could afford a house. I would say if you are in school or maybe the first year after, it is understandable. Also, if you are helping to care for an elderly parent...and I mean helping them, not just mooching off them and doing nothing for them. There are many variables. Whatever works for the individual but if the reasoning was just laziness or the fear of living alone, I would not be interested. Then again, I am in my mid-forties so if a guy still lived at home in his parent's basement....well that is not real appealing. lol | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/11/2008 1:53:18 PM | I'm nearly 25, and I moved back home about 6 months ago after living in Nottingham (UK for you guys from the states) for 2 years, renting and basically throwing my money at the wall. It was great having my own space and doing my own thing, but far too expensive. The rental market for anywhere nice is pretty terrible.. I lost a £1000 worth in deposits within a year from 'Letting Agents' claiming for all manor of poxy things upon moving out.. most of which I wasn't even responsible for! Anyway, I stray from my point..
I don't want to throw my money away paying a fortune for a place if i'm not going to see any return on it. And getting on to the property ladder by buying a place on my own would be extremely difficult to manage (even on £20K+ per year). Properties might be cheeper now than they have been for a while, but the housing situation in the UK is still pretty dire, and getting a mortgage is tougher than it was too! I still pay a fair bit of rent at my parents, but it's not like the amount I was getting taken from me when renting privately, and this means I have money to save towards putting down on a deposit when I am ready to get on the ladder.
It's not all bad living with parents if they're quite cool and understanding like mine. There aren't really any house rules, or privacy issues. There's not really anything I can't do here that I could do when I had my own place (except maybe cooking in the nude! lol). Plus, the money is actually helping them out, so it's good for everybody. I'm a good person, with a good job, good friends, and a good prospects, but living at home just seems to fit well right now. I can see why some people would judge me for that, but if they took the time to take a look at the situation i'm sure they wouldn't have much of a problem. I suppose we're all a little judgemental about some things, it's particularly unavoidable in the dating-site scenario. I guess the best we can do is just hope to try and understand people better and hope they're not too ignorant to do the same :) | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/11/2008 2:07:34 PM | breisme wrote:..finally moved out of his parents home at age 43. YES, 43. We now own a home of our own and have had nothing but problems. So, I guess when they do get out of the nest, they never really leave....their parents just send cookies and make sure you are taking care of their "challenged" child...
BINGO!
All my Brother did was "change bedrooms" after getting married......nothing else changed, still unemployed 20 years later at 51 yr. old. Unreal!
His wife puts up with it all, so who's really at fault?
Best of luck to you! | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/11/2008 4:37:22 PM | For some people it's a cultural thing. In my culture living with your parents is considered totally normal. Almost everyone in my culture does it. My cousin didn't move out of his parents house until he was married! He worked, contributed to the household helped my uncle out. I just graduated from school and just got my first job. I don't plan on moving out anytime soon. I will eventually but not now. I'd rather live in a big house with my parents paying for my own ultilities then living in some crappy one bedroom apartment paying rent to some miser I don't even know. Living at home has it's flaws my parents do get on my nerves sometimes but I'd rather be a second class citizen in paradise then king of my own one bedroom mouse infested shithole. I know people who make minumum wage they get apartments that are not too far from where they once lived with their parents! and these people are barely getting by on what they earn. They live like beggers just so they can be labelled as "independent" I lived on my own for 2 years that was because I had to go to Hamilton for school. Aside from that living on my own at this point in my life would be a waste of money. Especially when I want to payoff my student loans ASAP If my parents really wanted me out I'd probably be out. but hey they were the ones who encouraged me to stay at home.
| |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/12/2008 11:13:06 AM | population increases exponentially. pretty soon all you people who want to be "independent" will have to buy apartments that hang from hot air balloons, cuz we're paving over the earth....
other cultures (ummm does usa have culture besides scorch, burn, take advantage, profit?) accept offspring living in the parents house...
in russia, the oldest child stays with the parents until death.
if you don't want your kids living with you until you die, then don't make the mistake of having children.
reproduce, you get an 18 year sentence. then tell em to get the **** out?
Get an apartment, and spend the rest of your life paying for it. Oh yeah, and it isn't yours.
buy a house, spend the rest of your life paying for it. Oh yeah... the gov't owns it and can take it away at any time. Just like your car, you don't own it. You pay rent to the gov't, and as soon as you stop paying rent, all your stuff gets seized in a "tax raid"
Our "culture" teaches us that life is to be spent paying.... Why not relax and look around? Enjoy this curse we call life... | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/12/2008 11:31:07 AM | I live with my parents and i am glad i do, i think it was a blessing in desguise, my divorce i mean. My parents are 86, and i take care of them, i make sure my mother takes her water pills, i cook for them and go grocery shopping for them, whatever they need, i'm there. At least i am in a place where people love me and appreciate me, i can't say that about my ex-husband.
And if a man would live with his parents i wouldn't mind as long as in the future we would discuss getting a place of our own, one day. If he lives with his parents he should be able to save money for that, right? | |
|
|
| Page 14 of 17
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 |
|
Home
login 
