| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/12/2008 11:33:14 AM | | I think a lot of you have such ridiculous and silly opinions on this matter. "Utterly pathetic" is not at all something I'd consider someone living at home after 25. Shit happens. It isn't laziness, it isn't a lack of independence, it's smart friggin business. I'm a college student who will be living with my mother when I move back, and I'll probably be there quite a while if a good job relating to my field drops into my lap. I'm sure as hell not going to risk terrible credit problems and living on Ramen frickin noodles because there are people in this world who can't wrap their heads around decent business sense. When your family lives somewhere that the cost of living is greater than the average salary you do what you can to survive, they need me as much as I need them, it's not always the person living at home that is dependant. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/12/2008 1:03:01 PM | "reproduce, you get an 18 year sentence. then tell em to get the **** out?"
Exactly I don't understand why people who think like this even HAVE kids They look at their kids as if they are a burden and not a blessing. oh wait you didnt want them in the frst place? should have thought of that before you dropped your pants. Most people I know who are 18-19 living on their own live in crappy apartments and work minimum wage jobs. (multiple minimim wage jobs to) all for the benefit of being called "independent" I live at home so i can enjoy some of the money I earn instead of giving it away to a rich miser of a landlord | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/12/2008 1:19:49 PM | | I moved out when I was just about to turn 30. I didn't pay rent and was out of the house the majority of weekends unless there was some work to do at the farm, in which case I jumped in to help out. I undoubtly must have seemed like a loser to some. But at age 30 when I custom built a 1,700 square foot bungalo and paid cash I didn't seem like such a looser. In fact things were pretty good. Both my parents and myself have always believed in paying cash for things. I saved over $125,000 in interest payments to the bank. That was 12 years ago and I still run out to the farm whenever help is needed. I think familial attitudes and standards have a lot more to do with things than people realize. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/12/2008 1:42:12 PM | I just don't understand why kids (in particular) use this "saving money" line of bullshit as a reason to be at home. It's an excuse, in most cases.
How would you know that is BS in most cases? In certain areas, the cost of living ( especially housing ) is very expensive. I think it is a good idea to save up money until you could afford a decent place to live. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/12/2008 2:51:33 PM |
How would you know that is BS in most cases? In certain areas, the cost of living ( especially housing ) is very expensive. I think it is a good idea to save up money until you could afford a decent place to live.
Its probably because most of these people moved out before they were financially prepared and thus feel the need to justify their decision with these illogical and baseless assertions. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:21:38 PM |
But at age 30 when I custom built a 1,700 square foot bungalo and paid cash I didn't seem like such a looser. In fact things were pretty good. Both my parents and myself have always believed in paying cash for things. I saved over $125,000 in interest payments to the bank. That was 12 years ago and I still run out to the farm whenever help is needed.
This guy is the smartest person in this damn thread. PERIOD. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/13/2008 11:23:53 AM | t DOES depend on the circumstances so please don't think I am generalizing here but I think it is very unhealthy for someone who is mentally stable and physically fit to still be living at home with Mommy.
Being mentally stable and physically fit have nothing to do with living at home. The fact is you are generalizing if you think you are or not. It is so funny these judgemental people who came in here and think they have the right to tell other people how to live there life. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/13/2008 12:05:56 PM | ^^^^
that is exactly what all those self righteous "independent" people are doing? telling others how they should live their lives? What bussiness is it of yours if they choose to live at home how does it affect you? if you moved out at 18 and have been independent eversince good for you. but it's rather pompous and arrogant to look your nose down at others just because they are still living at home or have priorities that are different from yours.
Still living with your parents when you have a good paying job and can actually afford a decent place is one thing. but I know way too many friends and family who insisted on moving out of their parent's house (and not because their parents wanted them out) before they were financially prepared to do so. The strive for independence was so great they were willing to overlook that they only made minimum wage or slightly more then mimimum wage or they were thausands of dollars in debt from student loans (and let's face it most entry level positions depending on what you majored don't pay that much) My cousin moved out when she was 20, right after university She still works 2 jobs to make ends meet and she still borrows money from her parents and she still calls them whenever she needs something. Is that really being "independent?" She only lives about 10 minutes away from her parent's house. She has a nice place but she is rarely home because she's busy working 2 jobs to pay for it along with her gas guzzling SUV. Which she only uses to get to work and back. She could have bought a cheaper small economy car that is good on gas but nope that would be too smart apparently. Or she could stayed at home for a few years and saved up alot of money and paid off all her loans so she wouldnt have to work 2 jobs when she was out on her own.
Everyone needs to learn to be self sefficient to an extent. but no one is ever 100% self sufficient everyone needs help at sometime or another and nobody gets anywhere without help. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/13/2008 12:13:47 PM |
It is so funny these judgemental people who came in here and think they have the right to tell other people how to live there life.
Here's the thing...the OP asked a question, and got answers. With an answer, genreally comes an explanation as to the reasoning for choosing one side or the other. Seems most people who live at home choose the "save money" approach, while most of those of us who do not, believe it's lazy and immature.
Nobody is telling anyone how to live their life. We're expressing our personal interests and beliefs. Quite frankly, i've been judged just as much for choosing to live independently, as you have for choosing to live at home. My choices have been called stupid, my career questioned, and i've been accused of having things handed to me. How is that not generalizing?
What bothers me is when somebody can't take a differing point of view. I was never trying to insult anyone who chose to live at home, but it's my opinion that there are few good reasons to live with mommy and daddy after a certain age.
People get so freaking ridiculous over a point of view that isn't exactly their own. They get defensive and resort to insulting others, and repeatedly trying to find ways to refute and justify their choices. The bottom line...and to the point: I think it's clear that I personally would not likely date somebody who didn't have what I deemed a good reason to live at home. I think i'm safe in assuming that most of you who live at home, and have been very defensive in regards to my opinions, would never, in a million years date me. (Probably because I am fiercely independent, believe in working hard, having a career, etc.)
People are different. That's what makes us interesting. Nobody is telling anyone how to live here, and if you feel that way, I hope you're capable of deciding the right path for you regardless of what people have to say about it. That's what i've always done, and it's worked just fine for me.
Debates are fine, but when you start to take it personally, it's time to bow out. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/13/2008 12:19:20 PM | What bothers me is when somebody can't take a differing point of view. I was never trying to insult anyone who chose to live at home, but it's my opinion that there are few good reasons to live with mommy and daddy after a certain age.
It not a point of view it is an insult when they call you lazy, momma's boy, and other names. I have no problem with people if they do not think that you should live at home past a certain age but there is no reason to call people who do names and act like a 5 year old. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/13/2008 12:28:57 PM | "It not a point of view it is an insult when they call you lazy, momma's boy, and other names. I have no problem with people if they do not think that you should live at home past a certain age but there is no reason to call people who do names and act like a 5 year old. "
I agree. most of my comments in post 361 were not directed at you personally. People don't take different opinions personally it's the name calling. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/13/2008 1:57:56 PM | | I honestly don't think it should matter if someone lived with their parents or not. I lived with my mom all my life up until the day she died. I was 30 years old then. i took on responsibilty once i was old enough to make money on my own though. I paid rent, bills , food etc. I believe people are in to much of a rush to grow up and miss out on whats important in life. i have absolutely no regrets that i lived with my mom up until then. it made me a stronger person and gave to the ability to adapt to living on my own when she wasn't there anymore. it always made me a better mom myself . it made me more family oriented. Don't judge someone for who they live with , life is to short , i just learned that the hard way. Get to know the person first then see what their living situation is all about. if they are living free of their parents at the age of 21 or more , then i can see you running , but no all people are like that ...it takes time to get to know someone ...if my mom was still alive , i would still be with her, not because i had to be , but because i want to be. some people just have a bond with their parents thats hard to break , not saying they wont if they meet the right person ... | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/13/2008 2:18:12 PM |
@Wutz
Did it ever occur to you that my brother and I pay most of the bills for our household? Did it ever occur to you that my mother is a widow and would prefer not to live alone? I've lived alone for 9 months of the year for the last 7 years and paid my own expenses through work and loans. I find it a waste of money. Thats all.
I have 60 thousand dollars in school debt. I think its far more irresponsible to move out and pay additional money to someone not within my family simply to fulfill your childish idea of maturity.
Really, I don't think I'll ever take 'advice' from a 40 year old woman who still takes pot shots at someone she doesn't even know like "does your mommy still clean your underoos." I don't know where your vitriol comes from or whether its evidence of some kind of past hurt, but you could stand to widen your perspective a little. Not everyone who lives at home is a mooch and not everyone who lives on their own is a brave soul worthy of praise.
The point being: check your presumptuousness.
Excellent post, drackoe28!
I think you hit the nail on the head! Making judgements about someone else's living arrangements when one does not know the circumstances is 100% ignorant and presumptuous. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/13/2008 2:34:15 PM | | The reason that I live with my parents is that I do not have a job that pays enough to live on my own. Yeah I could get a roomate but even then it would barely getting buy. I could aso get another job but working but two jobs will wear you out very fast. I would rather wait find a better job or live with someone who can help me to live on my own. Yes to answer your question I would date someone living at home. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/13/2008 4:14:51 PM | Zain - the "nerve to come back"? yes, I was shaking in my boots and only now just developed the courage. LOL
Drakeo or whatever his name was, very proudly proclaimed that he was living with his Mom until the age of 30 and that was that, and if a woman didn't like that, too bad. When called on this, he then came out with the "oh I have no choice, I'm a student and it costs $35,000 a year for that." Funny he missed these details in his original post.
Hey, if grown adults want to justify living with their parents, go for it. If you have problems finding someone to have a relationship with, don't be surprised. Many of us moved out in our very early 20s and we did what we had to, to not only put a roof over our heads but to put ourselves through university/college. It CAN be done, millions do it every single day. And years later we've got a great career, a home we own, and a good life - and a sense of independence and responsibility that you just can't get when Mommy & Daddy are there to foot the bill.
But hey, however one wants to justify their decision to keep the umbilical cord intact  | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/13/2008 6:10:53 PM | I lived at home past an age many people here would object to. "Saving money" was my reason, one many look down upon as insincere.
I'm living in my second condo now. I bought, lived in, and sold my first. Both are in New York, not an inexpensive city to live in. I hate to sound smug but I can probably afford a McMansion in another state. Other than my mortgage, I have no debt. I'm very financially secure in this sucky economy.
I know folks my age living with roommates in tiny apartments. Struggling with money. Still paying their school loans. They all moved out of their parents' house at a "respectable" age. What can you say about these people? They must have been impulsive to move out so quickly. Short sighted. Financially irresponsible. Childish and naive to think they can make it out there.
Of course, I don't necessarily believe this to be the case in every instance. But for every person we think is a "momma's boy" for staying at home, I think it's only fair to prejudge someone who moved out early as financially stupid.
So you moved out at 21 while I moved out at a much later age. So what! The past does not exist. Only the present exists. While I pay my own mortgage in 2008, you pay your landlord's mortgage. I pay my bills as soon as I get them. You have to wait for your paycheck to clear to avoid an overdraft.
But, of course, you had more character than I did as evidenced by you moving out so much earlier. I suppose, as consolation, I too would imbue such a decision with a noble quality.
But to answer the OP’s question, I would date someone who still lived at home. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/13/2008 6:54:48 PM | Okay, so clearly there are two very stubborn sides to this argument. You think it's fair to call people who move out and pay their own bills, who have zero financial hangups, own homes, have an expensive education, and the luxury of disposable income stupid. I made the mistake of referring to those who proudly live at home, for no reason other than to milk their folks for all they can, momma's boys. The difference being, when I made an inappropriate potentially insulting comment, I admitted it was wrong of me, and uncalled for. I have yet to experience any sort of apology or admittance from the opposition regarding their very rude and generalizing comments.
I don't think i'm better than anyone for moving out at 17, and quite frankly, if I had've wanted to go to school nearby, I may very well have stayed living at home. I don't regret it, nor do I think it was stupid, however. I am quite proud of what I have acheived, and that is much more than most people my age. I could never justify living at home, outside of my current circumstances. I have said numerous times that there are understandable and appropriate reasons to do so. "Saving money" at 25-30 years old, is not acceptable nor understandable in my own books. For others, this age is different. Some don't care either way.
I suppose it's a personal decision that we all make, at some point. However, to assume anyone who is independent of their parents at a young age is in any way irresponsible is slightly ridiculous! Granted, there are situations where it's a child running away, and unable to support their self, but in most cases, it's a matter of being a responsible adult, ready to take on the world and everything that comes with it. If you have a problem with somebody who can do that, obviously nobody can change your mind, but personally I think you need to do some serious reflecting on what it is you expect from life, and to make that very clear to those you associate with.
I think it's unhealthy to spend so much of your life under the wing of your folks. I can't understand how an adult who has been independent, or wants to be independent, isn't ashamed of or embarassed to live at home. I suppose i'm biased because I hate taking advantage of anything. Even when I was in the hospital, I felt like a waste of resources. When I live at home, I feel as though I am taking advantage of someone, when I can absolutely fend for myself. I know what i'm capable of, and it seems unfair not to live to my potential. That is my own personal beef with living at home.
Maybe it's close-minded of me not to accept people who think it's okay to be an "adult" who doesn't have bills to pay, or doesn't have a place to call their own. Maybe it isn't. I know how I was raised. I know what I believe in, and unfortunately it's not going to change. I am, however, much more considerate than those who have an opposing point of view, I have found. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/13/2008 7:36:01 PM | That depends on the situation. Is this a person who just couldn't bother to move out? Or did they move back in for some reason?
When my dad died I moved in with my mom because all my siblings are married with kids living at home, and I'd just come back from Korea and didn't have a home yet. It made sense. It wasn't that I lacked independence, it was just that I was the one who could most easily adjust my life to look after Mom.
When it didn't work out, my brother and his wife moved in. Their housing situation was bad, and Mom needed somebody to look after her. No lack of independence, just meeting mutual needs in a way that made sense.
Now my daugher is going through a rough spot and when I came back from Korea I moved in with her to help her get back on her feet. So she lives with her mom, but again because it mutually makes sense and not because she never bothered to move out.
All these scenarios are different from the guy in the Wierd Al song. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/13/2008 8:11:02 PM | I am 26 and still live at home. The reason for this is simple. I have a large debt load that I am working on clearing, and giving a thousand dollars plus a month for a place I will never own seems pointless. I see absolutely NO reason to incur a bigger debt load than I have. I do not mooch of my parents. I buy my own things, help out with the groceries, give money when I can, work on the garden and yard work and housework. People look at stupid things these days when considering dating. Maybe that's why so many people are single. I mean who cares if you live at home? Like get a life seriously.
Living at home does not make you a loser or a moocher or someone who can't let go of the apron strings. I happen to like my living arangement. When I can afford a place of my own, I'll be doing it. Any guy who doesn't want to date me because of it...**** you; your loss. | |
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