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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 10/10/2006 10:12:54 AM | | I still live with my parents still.If people ask me on here i tell them the truth if they don't like it oh well.I could have left when i was an adult but i didn't.I have personal stuff going on in my life and my parents need me plus my parents are not getting younger.I am 25 years old but if people saw me they probably would think my parents were my grandparents cause i look so young and everyone who seen me says i do even strangers.I don't mind living with my parents because i have a place to live and food to eat.I don't pay bills either since i don't pay rent but i help my dad's bills since he teached me when i was in school plus like i said i have things going on and i don't want to go in detail i could but i know some people don't want to know what is going on in your life and some people do cared.I have only told a few people that i talk to on here but not everyone.Besides i know some people who live with their parents cause they can't afford to pay their bills since it is tough out there in the real world even an apartment is expensive especially if you want a nice one and sometimes you have to have a roommate unless you make some really good money.I do pay bills on whatever needs to get payed and try to help my parents if they need help. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 10/10/2006 10:29:21 PM | LOL... Oh my, quite a few people have definite opinions on specific ages someone should move out by.... and some posters even have given their kids an 'must move by' date... lol
As I'm reading through the posts, I can't help but laugh.
You see, I have a European background. With said background, if you're female, the understanding is you're moving out because you're getting married! AND, it's still typical for males to do the same; stay with the family till marriage..... In fact, many will continue living with the family even after the first couple years of marriage as a way to save to go towards a house if they can't afford it right away. (And they'd live as one big family...... lol)
And then there are those who simply live with the family because it's comfortable and familiar and they choose to. But make no mistake.... they FULLY support themselves and pay equally for the bills etc, JUST LIKE having roommates you split the bills with. A response I got once is something I'll repeat for you..... "Why live with strangers, people you don't know when you can live with the comfort of knowing your with family and they have your back? Why would you pay to be with strangers who don't know you or care about you?"
It's culturally acceptable and expected in some cases for family to help family and to be close, which is including living with the family.... (And notice I say with the family as opposed to "parents". Simply because it's not strange to have 3 generations living together and of different relations.)
Culturally, the typical thing is to always own your own huge house with SEVERAL rooms you NEVER use and TONS of space with a piece of property in the back for your garden... lol So, when family needs to, they live in the 'family' home and there is always the comfy personal space for everyone in their own respected 'wings' of the house.... (LOL)
Now, I can only speak for my background, and it's soooooooooooooo normal! In fact, growing up I constantly heard and was told about those terrible Americans (U.S. and Canada included) who make their kids leave home at 16 and never take in their aging parents or in-laws or friends if ever in need.... LMAO
My oh my.... how some people seem to have judgements ready and on a quick dispenser ready to dish out at everyone without understanding one person's norm may not be the same as another person --- or culture.....
Relax and breath, everyone has different values, culture, etc and if it bothers you, simply move on.
...But wouldn't it be nice to know that if you ever some how came across the misfortune of losing your home - or for whatever the reasons, needing to temporarily live somewhere else or needing help, that there's a family you're part of that would gladly give you and share what they have with you openingly and freely - with no exceptions or expectations for as long as you need, NO questions asked?
Try asking that much of a parent who told you, "it's time to move out now, you're finished school." It's just a guess, BUT you'll probably not be as lucky.....
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 10/11/2006 10:35:26 AM | I'm a 21 year-old guy who still lives with his parents.
I moved out when I was 18 and was out for 2 years till my life took a tail-spin drop and crashed. I've been rebuilding myself ever since but my parents have been there and in respect to them I rarely ask them for anything. I work, I have my own money, I'm saving for some higher education and life changes, I do all my own things.
The one thing that always bothers me when it comes to this subject is not alot of people can look at the situations objectively. I mean there are different reasons and situations where this can occur and how it's dealt with rest purely on the people within the situation.
When I hear someone say, "Geez man, you still live with your parents?" or hear some random comment on that particular subject I get to wondering if we as people are as truely understanding as we think we are, if you live on your own, good for you, I'm glad that you've achieved what you were striving for, but when it comes to those who are older and still live at home, do not berate us because just like you we are attempting to live our lives the best we can at the time. We're not all slobs, losers and misfits and keep this in mind, even a person who is out on their own have been know to be filthy, lazy, sloppy bits of trash too. And I bet there have even been some people who have been with their parents their entire lives and have a multimillion job and are now taking care of the people who took care of them.
Please think reasonably, don't judge, we're all in this one together. | |
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| Reply to UrDarkSecret.....
Posted: 10/11/2006 10:49:10 AM | I totally agree with your european philosophy!
It seems like we as the Western culture have decided that for a person to be strong and self reliant they must be on their own, to forage for themselves and be lucky if they don't die early because they could not cloth themselves properly, find a place of residence or even find a proper meal.
And people wonder why there is so many homeless in our streets, why there is so much loss of green space and more and more subdivisions and mini-malls every where.
I bet if European ideals were more accepted by our more restricted Western minds we would probably have lovely cities as gorgeous and beautiful as Venice. We could be a people who would be know not only by our ways of industry, finance, politics, but also by our family ties and how we treat and respect each other in a large family reflects how well we are at living with each other as an entire race.
And in final note, just think about this, if you lived in a house with about 7 rooms that you don't use, a large kitchen, 3 bathrooms you don't use, a large living and sitting rooms, and a gracious amount of property on which to roam and explore, wouldn't you too make the sacrifice to live with not only your brothers and sisters, mom and dad, but also your grandparents as well to live in such a splendorous way?
Think about it | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 10:11:00 AM | No I would not date someone who still lives at home, too many issues there. Anywho, this is not a major issue for most people, but it could be an issue if you are dating someone who comes from a certain ethnic background , with a culture that is very different from the “mainstream” Canadian culture. For instance, in my community, kids especially girls are for the most part expected to live at home until they get married, and they are generally speaking not allowed to date “outsiders “.
Dating in our community is not dating in the western sense, it’s more like “hanging out “ with a friend, i.e. you go out together, you go for coffee and stuff, but you don’t engage in sexual activity ( you gotta keep your virginity). It’s more like dating used to be here , in the 40s & 50s before the sexual revolution.
Also, generally speaking parents expect their kids to “ date” in this traditional sense of the word, as a way to get to know one’s potential marriage partner. To the western ear this sounds, archaic, and weird, but this is the way things are done in my community . Girls have freedoms , but they are limited freedoms when compared to the freedoms that an average “ Canadian ” lady enjoys.
Those of us, who are brave enough or stupid enough to break away from these cultural restrictions , by let’s say shagging a white Canadian dude ; end up being a pariah in their community. They are disowned by their parents, who also end up losing “face” in the community , because their daughter is looked upon as being a traitor & a whore (not a nice thing to be) .
I know a few girls in my community who ended up broken hearted because their family would not speak to them, as a result of their “improper” behaviour. This is a very heavy burden to carry, especially giving that family is very very important for people in my culture. It’s a very difficult choice to make, should I behave, be a good girl, and listen to my parents, or should I end up alienating my parents for the sake of love. This is not an enviable position to be in, I should know. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 12:16:16 PM | I'm almost 24, and I recently moved in with my mom. She's disabled, though, and if I wasn't living with her, she'd likely have to go into assisted living. In my opinion, it's not really different from being a fulltime caretaker for someone else...she just happens to be my mom. With me here, she gets help with the rent, has someone to take care of her (she can't walk or stand or anything like that) and someone to cook for her.
I'd date someone who still lived with his parents, provided he had actual plans/intentions of moving out eventually. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 1:52:45 PM | If the person is working and taking care of thier own bills, I don't see where it really matters if they always live with their parents. The more I think about it, the more it seems like a lot of fuse about nothing.
Also live happens. Parents need children. Children get divorced, loss jobs, get sick and for a number of reasons have to move back in with the parents.
Sure I would date someone living with their parents. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 2:15:37 PM | UrDarkSecret said it best.
Really, what's all the fuss about? Not everyone who lives at home is a loser. Not everyone who has their own place is a winner.
I live with my parents and I'm 25, and yes, I would date someone who also lives with their parents still. However, I wouldn't date someone who mooched... simply living with them is not mooching... and I certainly don't want a person to mooch off of me.
I find the hostility some of you have to be comical. I'm not sure why this situation angers you so much, but it doesn't bother me. If a guy didn't want to date me because I live with my parents, I would understand to some extent, and I'd just move on. OBVIOUSLY he's not the guy for me.
Am I the only one who finds it odd what kinds of things can deter people from having a relationship? Like someone who's in debt? Would people really choose someone who has no debt but makes a small income over someone who just got out of school and is working in his/her career field doing something he/she loves (and with the potential to make big money) but who has debt? I highly doubt it.
Oh well. To each his/her own.<< | |
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smyllz
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Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 61 | |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 2:29:36 PM | | I'm 21 and live with my father. I am not in school. BUT I was out on my own for a few years, with my own place, bills in my name, the whole deal. I got screwed over by my ex and was left with a house I couldn't afford on my own and bills to pay off and whatnot. When my dad realized that he would need a boarder, he offered to let me move back home. I pay rent, I keep my area clean, I am responsible for my part of the house and what happens in it, but I don't deny that I've got a good situation going and I do get a little hestitant when people ask me about where I live. As much as I wouldn't immediately judge someone who still lived with their parents (like a lot of you, I would need to know the circumstances behind it) I know that some people will immediately form an opinion about someone my age who still lives at home. I don't let this really bother me...If you can't understand that I didnt ask for this situation and that it's temporary, then you arent worth my time. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 3:02:17 PM | I'm glad to see there are a few people with brains here, some obviously lost their's somewhere. I'm quoting one of the smarter ones:
justmeinnc05
If the person is working and taking care of thier own bills, I don't see where it really matters if they always live with their parents. The more I think about it, the more it seems like a lot of fuse about nothing.
Also live happens. Parents need children. Children get divorced, loss jobs, get sick and for a number of reasons have to move back in with the parents.
Sure I would date someone living with their parents. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 3:31:04 PM | well im 36 and just moved in with my parents wife kicked me out lol i took a job in london as a building manager but the building was infested with****oaches so i quit and needed a place to crash asap its actually kinda nice to go home again for a little while but its like a vacation its great to visit but i cant wait to go home as soon as i find one.
i not only moved out at 20 but to a different city and havent lived with them since so this is extremely weird but at least i can take my time now and not buy the first house i see | |
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heuch
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Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 66 | |
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heuch
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Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 67 | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 4:04:19 PM | | Let me first say I am 33 and my mother lives with me, she had a stroke and very bad lungs, then lost the job she had for 15 yrs. I know alot of woman wont date me because I have my mother in the same house but if it werent for me its hard telling where she would be right now. Its all about the conditions. She doesnt help me pay the bills, I pay for all the food and I wouldnt have it any other way | |
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alyjoe
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Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 69 | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 4:30:22 PM | | I don't think its so much whether they are living with parents or not but rather how dependent they are on their parents. I am 26 and I live with my dad, but I help in financially and make all my own decisions, completely independent. I have been with a person who was 26 not only lived at home but was completely dependent on his mother financially, emotionally and in every other way, thats where I draw the line. As long as the person is independent I wouldn't care if they live at home or not. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 5:04:34 PM | I have a problem with the idea of adults who have never lived apart from their families. Yes, there may be some who were raised so well that it doesn't matter where they live, but most of us come from families with at least one or two deficiencies . And at least some of the family members share a common gene pool! I think most people will benefit from experience living in the outside world before entering a serious relationship. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 6:31:34 PM | I would and wouldnt - depends on the circumstances. If they had moved home due to some hardship for a period of time fine. If theyd never even left, no thanks.
I dated one man who at 34 had never left home, thats not my thing. I am very Independant and so I need someone the same. To me It was glaringly obvious we were totally different people and I have No Intentions of a man moving from his parents house to mine when he has NO Idea of whats Involved to support yourself fully. Each persons different but a man living In his little Bedroom In someone elses house IS NOT the man for me unless hes there by force for a short period of time. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 11/7/2006 7:24:14 PM | "You should be out of the nest by 21. If your a legal adult then its time to get out."
***dlwb, things are different now than they were for us. My 23-year-old son still lives with me. He has a full-time job, but living on his own would be way too expensive for him. Not everybody can do the room mate thing, either. I know a lot of people in their 20s and 30s who still live at home or who moved back home after college, getting out of the military or after getting divorced, etc. As long as they're working and contribute to the household, I wouldn't necessarily hold it against them.
Ninki
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