| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/5/2007 11:15:16 AM | Can't answer this kind of question with a simple yes or no, because it's not that simple.
I don't think there's anything wrong with living with your parents if there's a real reason for it. Some people just have terrible luck and can't find a job before, in, or even a while after college. Especially not one that will pay enough to live on their own.
There's a difference between laziness and situations beyond control. If it's something the person can't do anything about, what's wrong with that? I would have a problem with people living with their parents just because it's easier and don't want to do anything else, but no problems with someone doing it if they can't find a place to live, can't find a job (I mean actually can't find one, not just being lazy), or whatever.
Too many situations to list them all, but it's not something you can just say yes or no without some idea of the situations. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/5/2007 2:10:38 PM | | I totally agree with you Gladiator. I got married and moved out at 20, had my son at 25, then separated at 29. I am proud to say I then continued to raise my son without having to move back home. However, in addition to caring for me while I was growing up, my parents were there during all my difficult times. My dad has passed on almost five years now and while my mom enjoys her independance, I would move in with her or her with me if she needed me... we would probably drive one another totally nuts, but I'd do it in a heartbeat.... it is the family unit thingy and it shows alot how you bring up your kids too... because my son who is 17 still offers to help her and would probably move in and take care of her himself if needed... it's called family love and respect. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/5/2007 2:11:46 PM | | My mother and I live together due to the fact that she now needs assistance. If someone doesn't accept the fact that I care for my mother, then I'm better to look elsewhere. I would not date someone who lived with their parents for the sole purpose of needing to have their meals cooked, laundry cleaned, and allowance given....that's just not right when you have turned into an adult. Otherwise, I am not against dating someone who cares for a parent. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/5/2007 8:53:35 PM | It depends on the situation. Myself, I live on my own, and like it that way. But I wouldn't look down on someone who still lives with their parents. It depends on the situation. In Asian cultures--and by all means correct me if I'm wrong--if someone lives with their parents, they are considered family-oriented.
You also have to ask--is the person living with his parents, or are the parents living with him?
Also, does he have a job? Does he earn his keep? Is he a responsible adult? Those are the important factors, I think. If he or she is lazy, and sponges off the parents, then that is wrong.
Also, it is said that you can tell how a man will treat a woman by the way he treats his mother. So maybe that is a good way to test a potential mate. | |
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LILGEM
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Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 159 | |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/6/2007 5:33:12 AM | As most people are saying it totally depends on the situation. I'm 31 and my mom stays with me during the week. My mom and step father bought a house up north recently but because its a small town jobs are scarce therefore my mom is continuing to work down here till my step father gets his business up and running. It didn't make much sense for them to have to pay a mortgage and rent so my mom stays with me during the week then she goes home on the weekends. Also me being a single mom supporting myself and my daughter entirely on my own it helps me out also.
The funny thing is no man I've spoken to has had a problem with my mom being at my place but a few men have had a problem with the fact that my daughter lives with me 24/7 make sense to you? it certainly doesn't to me.
So anyway guess what im saying in this long ramble is know the situation before you judge someone, because you never know you could be missing out on someone special if your shallow enough to let their living arrangements get in the way. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/6/2007 6:32:04 AM | It DOES depend on the circumstances so please don't think I am generalizing here but I think it is very unhealthy for someone who is mentally stable and physically fit to still be living at home with Mommy. If they are in college and can't afford a dorm, it is very understandable but when grown "children" are encouraged to be so dependent, it is sick.
They get to the point where they are not even able to support themselves even if they try.
A lot of Moms (I know about this-I am a mother of 2 and know lots of other mothers:) Are insecure about being alone or just with the husband. Their identities are corrupted. They see themselves as "only a mother" and don't see outside of the box. Also many are afraid of the empty nest syndrome which really does happen. I went through it and it was very difficult; I had to get counseling. We need to let go of our children and realize that they are separate entities-not our Siamese twins. They deserve the right to grow up for real and to assume a legitimate adult identity. Give them the chance to be out there in the world and to gain inner strength. I see so many marriages failing because the husband can't be his own man and when the marriage fails, he goes home to Mommy. Some women do it, too. They always seem to run home to Mommy when things out in the world get tough. I say to Moms-practice some tough love and let these GROWN children be adults and make it on their own. I was out on my own at 18 and learned how to survive. If I could do it, others can unless they have some sort of severe disability. In the long run, it develops into a sick, dysfunctional, unhappy set-up when grown men and women are living with Mommy when they are over 30. In my opinion, it is just plain selfish for a parent to keep clinging to their children after the age of 21 or so ..because they are lonely or need to be supported or just cna't let go of that "parental" identity.  | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/7/2007 10:39:03 AM | | I admit, people who live with their parents can give me a bit of a warning. I automatically think of a reaaalllly nerdy guy building Star Wars models in his parents' basement! However, the truth is that anyone of any age could live at home, and I would be receptive to understanding why. I was in an 8 year relationship with a guy who was 35 and living with his parents when I met him. He had a pretty decent reason- his dad was dying, his mom was also ill and they couldn't afford to keep up with bills and buy medication, plus, his ex-wife was getting more than half of his take home pay. When he had weekends with his daughter, she got to spend more time with her grandparents which was good, because they both died within 1.5 years of my meeting him. Sometimes, especially in a situation like that, it is hard to get by on one income. Soon after we started dating, he and I combined our incomes to get an apartment and later to buy a home. We broke up, and now that his child is over 18, he can afford a home by himself. It would have been easy to make fun of a guy who was 35 and living with his parents if I was ignorant of the situation, so it is definitely important to understand before you make ASSumptions. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/7/2007 2:20:01 PM | I'm 22 and still live at home, but I'm also paying an arm and a leg to be in school and really can't afford to move out. My brother however is 24, and still living in the basement, even though he's been working since he was 18.
Another factor that came up this summer, my mother got into an accident and has been off work since then, she requires a lot of help around the home, even if I could financially move out, I don't think I'd be able to leave just yet because I have become her primary care-giver.
When it comes to dating, I would date a guy who lives at home, if he's doing it for the right reasons. I dated an Italian boy who was 28 and still lived at home, it was a cultural thing, he was supposed to stay home until he married, I get it. I didn't like it, but I respected it. If a guy is staying home either to care for someone, to save up for a house, to afford school, after a divorce to get back on his feet, starting his own business, or anything that implies that it's a temporary thing, then yes, I would date him. If he still lives at home because mommy does his laundry and cooks his meals, then I run as fast and as far as I can. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/7/2007 5:46:06 PM | | I thank the law makers here for giving us a guideline for how a person suppose to live. How could I be so wrong to keep myself of the streets after coming out of the military by moving home to with my mom. You all who are so morally and ethically and wordly soooo perfect are so right...It would be better for me to starve and live on the streets while trying to find a job while wearing the same stinky clothing. You are so right and so all knowing that I should never have decided to go back to college at 36 in order to forge me a more economically secure life in the future from the home of my mother. God, I am so blessed I have you who are could just as easily be jobless and homeless tomorrow are guiding me to the light by letting me know I should choose to live in to be "independent" by being more poorer and in the less livable condition that I am now. And you know what, I thank all of you who said you would not date someone who is smart enough to find a home base to work from while they work towards getting their lives back together. I thank you for sparing us the stupidity of wasting an ounce of our time with you. I am glad you have shown us how unworthy you are of us who seek to better ourselve in any condition we are in. | |
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LILGEM
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Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 165 | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/7/2007 9:41:51 PM | Definitely circumstances. And if anyone is so cheap as to knock you for living with your parents, then they're (she's) usually shallow and self-serving and not worth the trouble.
I was out in the working world for 6 years doing the whole 9-5 thing. Having a girlfriend who wanted to go out, drink and life the high life on a working man's salary is a recipe for disaster. Being an idiot at the time, I eventually had to sell everything I owned to continue funding the relationship.. and everything that gave me joy (guitars/music equipment) was soon up on eBay. I couldn't keep a leash on her, and if I didn't provide her with excitement all the time she got bored and acted like a ****. I was told repeatedly how by my age I should be "established" and have a good salary.
I moved back in with my parents with nothing and fortunately the relationship dissolved. My mother hated her, and I was only being made to feel more guilty for moving back home, even being called a momma's boy. 3 weeks later she had some sucker with money get her pregnant.
I used this time while I wasn't working to learn about internet marketing and how to make money over the 'net, and I took classes for web design. A year later and I'm now back on my own, I have everything I want and am making about 4x as much as I did at my old job, with potential for more all the time. So in my case, quitting my job and decompressing for a while without any responsibilities helped me in so many ways, one being that I don't work for anyone other than myself now and see myself being free enough in a few years to be completely mobile with my businesses. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/11/2007 5:54:46 PM | | I more or less need to move beck in with my dad. He starting to get alzheimer. and I just feel better at night being here in case something happens. It is still hard with my mom pasting away orom cancer all most five years ago. but I do pay the bills here. I am staying in his house I think any one living with there parents that is out of high school even if they are in college need to pay some cind of rent. You can go to schooland learn at the same time. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/11/2007 8:37:13 PM | I've been there and done that in the dating world and I won't ever do it again.
I have my own place and the man I date must as well. I don't hide it. I'm not looking for a handout. I don't want a man to take care of me or make a certain wage. I just expect that if he's over 30, he takes care of HIMSELF and doesn't have his parents doing his laundry and making him dinner.
No one should judge... on EITHER side. Some people might call me shallow if they so please but unless you've done it and had the problems associated with it... you can't judge me for my choices.
Some people won't date smokers, or people with children, or divorced, or buck teeth or a certain body type.. etc... It doesn't matter what it is for their reasons. Maybe there are very good reasons! So those of you that live at home that judge those that WON'T date you because you do...just think... what is on your list of NO's for dating before you jump to conclusions about who WE are. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/18/2007 9:45:13 AM | | OK here this goes . I have had my own house since 97. Never have I gotten on assistance. (Too much pride) , I use to think living with parents past a certain age was bad. Like one comment on the millitary and having no where to go. I served I do understand his veiw once you exit the service it is hard to get a job the economy doesnt have many openings out there. I agree if circumstances are severe and your parents are willing to help out you need to take it but while receiving the assistance pay them in return. Now back to my delema after 10 year relationship 9 year marriage she decides she isnt happy. So I let her have everything House cars and all. One I rather have my children have a roof on there heads then me. I make alright money but I needed a second veichle cause I gave my car to my mom since she dont have a running one, I bought a truck not for luxury for work since I haul my tools and supplies but the payments are 275mnth then the 180 a week I send my ex plus the 60 a week I send for my first son. it all adds up I fell in the have to go live with mom category. So my veiws and beleifs in life tottally changed till you have to live that way do not condem someone who does. After insurance truck and support I am luck to have 200 a month. hopefully Ill get my raise soon which should boost me 320 a month and I can kill my credit card and 2 more loans to move and get my own place soon.. I do help pay what I use thats at least I can do. I dont date or bring anyone here 1 I dont want my kids affected yet I get them every weekend. 2 I dont feel its right. I already am embrassed enough as it is living here. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/18/2007 9:47:53 AM | Depends on the situation.
If they live with YOU for health reasons etc and you are caring for them - then no I wouldn't frown upon that.
If you had hard luck and are on the way (seriously on the way) to getting back on your feet (and not just being a parasite mooching off of them) then, as long as it is short term, I could deal with that.
Anything else, I would feel like you're out there looking for a sugar momma/daddy and would lose interest. (Just being honest) | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/18/2007 10:37:45 AM | It's not about 'living at home' it's about the situation. As someone pointed out to me- "Guys can still live on their own and be a mamma's boy". My ex lived at home. The night of our 1 year anniversiary he was FINALLY going to spend the night at my place- he was always scared to tell Mommy he was going to do that (Daddy had left when the two boys were little and I think Mommy had gotten too attached- she wasn't going to lose them too). That night he tried to tell me he'd better just go home because it was easier and I said 'fine' - just know if you don't stay tonight I won't be inviting you again. Maybe I'm manipulative but I'd had enough (mommy also packed his lunch daily, made his breakfast and supper every day, did his laundry and they took turns tucking each other in). I've seen other men who live at home who don't even need to tell their parents they're not coming home.
"having it easy" may be fine- but you see alot of the people who are posting this are 'single'- like the 47 year old man who's still living at home- it's a turn off for most women who don't want to have to play 'mommy' down the road or deal with 'mommy' all the time. I have been on my own and independent in most senses (still a student and still get some help from the 'rent's') since I was 18- I can't date someone who isn't. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/18/2007 1:41:28 PM | Nothing wrong with living with an elder parent. I do, I think it's the right things to do,not always easy but,I could not live with myself if I did the easy thing and was only thinking of myself.
I would also have more respect for a date, BF etc. If he was caring for a parent instead of ignoring them. It show's what they are made of. Better to do it, than say I should have once they leave us. | |
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