| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/28/2007 1:30:50 PM | Alright.
I have to say this. I am about to be 21 years old and currently live with my parents.
Don't knock it until you hear my story.
I go to a university full time, and live in a dorm about ten months out of every year. I work and I go to school. I live at home because I cannot afford to live on my own going to school and holding down a job at the same time. As far as money, my parents don't help me out one bit. All I get is that I live rent free. As far as my food, clothing, books, tuition, dorm, and whatever else is needed, my parents don't help me out. Everything I own, I pay for.
If a man can't understand that the first thing to me is my education, and that I sacrifice other things to be here, then he's not the one for me. | |
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/28/2007 2:01:23 PM | Msg. 201.
Your situation is not the same. When a man is dating and he is living at home, freeloading off of a parent by working full time and not paying any bills, does NOT have child support or go through a divorce and is not disabled to not be fully self sufficient; then he's seen as lacking ambition and is not seen as a good possible future provider to help keep a house running as a team with a family later on. I feel that your situation is temporary. You pay for things you need as you say and you do not live at home often if you stay at a dorm as well. Please don't see this thread as that applying to your situation. I feel alot of people can see the difference between a freeloader later in life and a young full time college student. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/28/2007 2:01:59 PM | everyone is mentally mature at a different age, but i would say 25 tops. I wouldn't get serious with someone who had never been out on their own simply because they can not relate to such expenses as having to buy toilet paper, doing your own laundry, working 2 jobs to make the bills, etc. I would date someone who had lived out on their own, but had to move back in because of various reasons (medical, debt, parents ill, family issues, etc)
I think that life experiences are very important in a relationship.
Living on your own is a huge life experience. | |
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/28/2007 2:31:23 PM | then he's seen as lacking ambition and is not seen as a good possible future provider to help keep a house running as a team with a family later on
Sounds like a quote from an HRM-corporate recruiter's guidebook! It's not a job, it's an adventure! But then some see it as corporate recruiting (e.g. "lacking ambition", "future provider", "running as a team", wow!!)
I am glad I am not perceived as ... "corporate material" any more! Corporate and Family-Corp Headhunters please stay away! LOL LOL  | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/28/2007 3:31:52 PM | Well, I am going through a divorce and I live with my Mom. I lived on my own a while and I did fine. My Mom is a diabetic and getting old so I look after her. She actually wants me to stay here anyway. When I moved back close to here, she wouldn't hear anything but that I was moving back. I'm also disabled but while I was married, I found out my Mom can't really make it on her own money wise. I came back and the fridge was empty. I buy the groceries and help whereever else I need to as well.
I think we help each other. I plan to find someone else but at least now I know I will have to keep a closer eye on her. The fridge has food in it again for sure.
I like others think it depends on the situation. I lived on my own and payed rent and all. I did fine. Heck, I helped my mom then too. I have total access to her bank accounts. If she gets low, I put some in even if she didn't ask for it. I'm not living off my Mom and she is not living off of me either. We just help each other with whatever is needed.
As far as meeting someone that is in the same situation as me, I would be fine with it. If it came to the time of getting married or living together then we may have to cross a bridge or two. Work something out for the two of us.
I guess it just depends on the boat and what river you are on.
 | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/28/2007 6:39:57 PM |
Nikos44......
[/Having a job in the 75% Services job market maybe be relatively easy, but does such a job "yield" enough $$$$ to pay the bills, and for how many? Economies of scale argument: Live with parents or get married to capture economies of scale???? LOL ]
Not sure if this worked...never quoted anyone!
But being in the career finding industry (as I am)...when people are seriously LOOKING for work..ie..HIDDEN JOB MARKET...along with many other ways of job searching. You do find work...good paying jobs...plus when you live at home you are not as driven to look for a real job.
Many times i have called clients up to do follow up and find their "mommys" or "daddys" telling me at 9:00 10:00 and even in the afternoons..they are sleeping or over at their girlfriends/boyfriends house. WTF?????.....Are you serious about looking for a job or do you just plan on living off of others?
So don't talk to me about %.......
Providing jobs ...please do not blame others if YOU cant find work!.....others do it and find work and make it out there with having pride that they did it on their own...not with help from their parents who have supported them since birth!... | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/28/2007 6:46:50 PM | Msg.206 What is with the corporate handbook comment? (F.Y.I. Hypothetical response only)
Did not know I had to put in simplistic terms here, so IOW: If a man is a leach off of his own parent when he is grown and should be self supporting, then he is not going to be a good catch to a woman that wants a partner (as man and wife should be a "team"..to work together to coexist in a home regardless of how society is now)
and have kids with. I had to raise my daughter to her adulthood years myself as the men I came across did not live up to being such a contributing partner option along the way.
I had my share of encounters with ones that just wanted the woman to clean the house, watch their kids and mine, and then they did what they pleased otherwise. I was once engaged to a guy that showed he did not even work full time to pay his half of the house that we had rented then, found out the house went up for sale when I opened the blinds one day and saw the for sale sign on the lawn. I also found out he spent what money he had on foolish spending and not paying his bills, past and then present ones either. Found out later on that the engagement ring he gave then was paid for by his stepdad's credit card. I gave it back when my view of him became set on his being so irresponsible and unreliable.
When a man is grown, he should have already gone to the point of providing and not ask his parent to provide any still. When a man is older he should show he can fend for himself if he wants to impress a woman. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 3/1/2007 4:02:21 AM | "Providing jobs ...please do not blame others if YOU cant find work!.....others do it and find work and make it out there with having pride that they did it on their own"
As far as I am concerned, I have a job.
As far as job seekers in the US jobs market are concerned, it sounds like 1990s rhetoric.
I used to say AND write such ... rhetoric when I was corporate material. Then I grew up and realised that I cannot sell myths to people! The problem in the US economy is not to have "A JOB", the problem is to have (and keep) a job that covers the needs of a family. With all the job migration going on.
"You are not your job". That is what experts are NOW telling former execs who bought into the career or white collar - management -yuppie "dream" or "myth". And invested their lives, dreams and much more into such "dream".
Could write more on this, but I have a job to do. So, ciao!
| |
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 3/1/2007 10:31:42 AM | | i think you all are probably talking bad about some of your best friends who still live at home. you don't know how to talk to your friends. that's pretty sad. you don't know how to keep your friends who look up to you for encouragement. you don't have alot of experience in life if your going to talk bad about people who still live at home. your breath probably stinks you think your perfect but your breath probably stinks bad. you look like your breath stinks really bad, IDO, or is it 'my breath smell like idoodoo' that should be your log in name. | |
|
| |
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 3/2/2007 8:45:30 AM | Let us face it, those of who have a stay with the parents (or vice-versa) in our social market "CV" are as devalued by SOME"recruiters" as much as those executives who stay unemployed for more than 6 months. The reason does not really matter, both in the corporate jobs and the "SO In-Corporation" games!!!! Thankfully, there are plenty more fish in the ponds of both employers and women other than them! LOL LOL LOL
Viva pluralism! Viva meta-yuppie-ism! Look where have the jobs gone!!! EAST! Go East middle aged white collar MBA! See ya in Goa or Santorini in 2008, neo-hippies! LOL LOL | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/27/2007 6:38:27 PM | | I still live with my parents, and don't have a problem with. I help them out with the house payments, and when they are gone (hopefully not anytime too soon), I will be left with the house. I also love the neighborhood I live in, so even that's a big plus. I think the more important question is what kind of relationship do you have with your parents. If you're legally an adult and rely on your parents to make all your decisions for you, then perhaps you do need to leave home even if its temporary. If you are still able to make your own decisions, take care of your own needs, help out financially, and still allow your parents the ability to have their space as well, then embrace your parents while they are still around. Hope this helps. | |
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/28/2007 1:47:00 PM | I'm 22. I live with my parents because I had a rather messy legal issue relating to my ex (weren't married, but had a child together), and I can't afford just yet to raise my son and pay $900 in rent plus utilities, gas, groceries, medical stuff, and other necessities. If I'd left the stupid idiot before the baby was born, that might be a different story, but I'll never know that. Right now, I'm raising my son alone with no child support (his rights were terminated, so he doesn't have to pay, but he doesn't get to see my son either), which can make money tight some months.
That being said, I do not mooch off my parents or live under their roof for free. I pay for my groceries, clothes, auto insurance, auto payment, auto fuel, and medical bills. I pay for my son's gorceries, clothes, toys, and other needs. I pay a portion of the utility bills and a reasonable amount for the rent of a room to my parents every month. I budget every dollar that comes in, and everything that goes out is paid on time and in full.
So I'd say it really depends on your situation, whether you're in school, whether there are kids, what your finances and budget look like, etc. I may live with my parents now, but I'm putting a certain percent, plus any "leftover" spending money, into savings so I can afford someday soon to move out. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/30/2007 2:46:45 PM | i am a 37 (soon 38) single mom with a 3.5 year old, and i live on my parents' property in a seperate home, but still on the property. the break-up with my daughter's father left me with *nothing* but a beautiful newborn. left dallas thinking that i could either move back to san francisco, with the support system of many friends (with their own kids to nurture), and continue my decent living, or come to santa barbara, where my daughter would have my father as her primary father figure, and earn next to nothing. i chose the latter, and it has worked out beautifully. my father takes my daughter on walks every morning, she has a sleep-over at her grandparents' every monday evening, and he and my mom are always available in a pinch. mind you that these were also the same parents who allowed me to live on my own at the age of 16 because my dad had sold a house and my parents wanted to move into a 2-bdr apt instead of a 3bdr...so they paid my rent, but i assumed it at 18, and have payed my own way to present. i do contribute towards the rent now, but it is slightly below market value. although i fantasize about moving (in spite of the fact that a cottage on a hill with an ocean view is hard to beat), i also think that my father is the most virtuous, male role-model a little girl could possibly have...they have a connection that could not be maintained quite the same, even if we lived just a few miles away.
so, yes, i think it depends on your circumstances... | |
|
| |
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 6/30/2007 7:54:26 PM | I have it good at home. Live rent free, cause no problems. Currently saving money, why move when you have it good?
Because most looking for a future partner want to find someone who has established that they can make it on their own. Many women complain about their lazy husbands who lack the skill to manage life. You have it good, yes. But you also are still sucking on your parents tits. You a momma's boy or a daddy's boy. You haven't shown you can do it on your own. Why should any woman want to marry or date that. They want a grown up. Now I no guys in similar situations who get parental help that way so they can save money to buy a home and establish an independent life. They can show direction. You, by your own words, show you lack initiative and want to leach of the folks. That doesn't come across as grown up.
There are many good reasons for living at home. "having it good" is not one of them. | |
|
| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 7/2/2007 5:17:55 PM | In seeing that this thread was started over a year and a half ago, I seriously hope the arthur has figured out how to be an adult to support theirself..
Everyone at times in their lives may need someone to lean on and who better than those lovely people who love you the most…Mom and/or Dad. However help is something not to be abused.
As a parent, I would hope that if either of my children as adults needed assistance I would be the first place they would turn. However, I would not allow them to sponge off me without a mental or physical disability for a long period of time. The old saying "Charity begins at home" is true, but so is the adage "God helps those who help themselves."
Home is a nice place to be, but make your own home and allow your parents to be glad to see you and not cringe that you’re still there…. | |
|
Home
login 
