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Posted: 12/24/2008 10:05:43 AM |
He didn't benefit at all from lying about or concealing his height... as a matter of fact there was no benefit or detriment because it was a non-issue. He "lost out" (arguably :P) because he made incorrect assumptions about me and treated me badly based on nothing more than those assumptions.
But like I've said to others...you are just one individual and dating is a numbers game. In your case, he was neither hurt nor harmed by concealing his height. But you must be one of the "good apples" I was talking about. So his mistake was not showing up to the date. The point about telling the truth would have eased his mind is irrelevant. Yes, if he had revealed his true height, you would have reassured him and he would have come on the date.
But...you are just one person. The odds are much better that a woman rejects him because of his height than for a woman to reassure him that she also dates short men. It would mathematically make no sense for him to reveal his true height in order to find that one in 500,000 woman who will date him before knowing his true height.
His error was in not following through on the lie (i.e., not showing up on the date). The fact that his height wouldn't have heart him in your case only strengthens my point.
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Posted: 12/24/2008 10:46:14 AM | ^^^
I think part of the problem is that people's profiles are often completely silent on the issue of height requirements. So, in the absence of clarity, the presumption is (not unreasonably, based on the sheer number of supporting height postings) that there will exist a height bias that people will act on (right, or wrong, in whatever manner they see fit).
One very simple solution is to clearly state any height requirement (or lack of one) in your profile. Not only is it more respectful of other's time, but it removes any doubts that may have prevented your future ex- husband/wife from initially contacting you.
I'm just sayin' | |
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Posted: 12/26/2008 7:44:23 PM | | I tend to agree. My experience with many of the women I've met on these sites is that they PREFER taller men. I've become reluctant to reply to many women here I find attractive because I'm not sure what their preferences are and while they may just be seeking a "nice guy" he may have to be of a certain height for him to be considered. It really isn't productive going through life with a chip on ones shoulder and I do my best to remain positive however it can be very disapointing sometimes knowing success for a man in the dating world can be predicated on his height. | |
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Posted: 12/26/2008 9:30:52 PM | I waded through this whole dang thread to see if I already posted on this one back in the dark ages. Nope...must have been another "short man thread"...sorry.
So, here I am with my .02 worth.
I have on my profile that I am 5'0". This really great guy wrote me. I responded. Never heard from him again. He put me on his fav list. But that happens. No biggy. A few months later he wrote again. I responded again. Then we graduated to the phone. I never remember noticing his height...but I'm sure I must have as I can't stand dating giants. Sorry, tall people.
When we met, height came up. He asked me how tall I was and I said 5'1". He said "but your profile says 5'0"!" "Well, I'm shrinking...you know age and all. Who wants to kwibble over a fraction of an inch???" He said, "well, I'm 5'6"." I just smiled and said..."tall enough for me!"
I then said my only issue is if he had that "short man syndrom"...then it would be to the curb in 5 seconds or less! He said he was like that when he was younger, but he got over it.
Good thing! 'Cause he was already a hottie in my eyes...he just confirmed it!
Several dates under our belts and looking forward to the next one!!!! | |
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Posted: 1/1/2009 1:22:31 AM | Well, being 21, short and in college, I can tell you that YES! Girls DO love short men, even if they are taller. The funny thing is, no one really knows who they want, or who they'll be attracted to. Sure you may have some guidelines, and general requirements, but you never know when that one man or woman will come along and sweep you off of your feet. Believe it or not, I've been in more relationships than I can count, with both tall girls, short girls, fat girls, skinny girls, any kind of girl. My ex was 6'1, tan and blonde, and I'm only 5'4, 5'6 with shoes.
To be honest, and from my experiences, girls pretend to know what they want, when in fact they have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what they really want! Most tall girls are also EXTREMELY insecure about their size, so of course they go after the tall guys to make them feel secure, and look better in public. Would you honestly want to date this type of girl? A girl who is so insecure with herself, that she is limiting herself to just taller guys for materialistic reasons? Hell no, I don't want a girl like that!
Smile. Smile at women, take chances. Be creative, flirty, somewhat**** (don't over do it, we all know the Napoleon complex, and NO ONE WANTS THAT). Be charming, sweet, daring. Girls want someone that will keep them on their toes, someone spontaneous. No one wants to date someone all gloomy because of their height!!!!! They wanna date someone with energy, someone they can have fun with.
I study in the library a lot...I make it a HABIT of smiling at attractive girls of all sizes. One day, a beautiful girl, maybe 5'11, walked by and locked eyes. I smiled, she smiled back, I asked how her day was going.....and then bam, next thing I know I'm taking her out to coffee. It's easy guys, just don't be stupid, creepy, pervy, etc.
HAVE CONFIDENCE! If you aren't comfortable with your own body and how you look, how will you ever convince someone to be the same?
My .02 cents with, HAPPY NEW YEAR! | |
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Posted: 1/1/2009 5:12:00 AM | | I am 5'7 I dated a 6 foot red head, I miss her sometimes, she always said she is attracted to men taller, but I was the exception, so shorter guys dont be afraid to approach the taller woman, you really have nothing to lose | |
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Posted: 1/3/2009 10:59:37 PM | Well I am 5ft 8in (actually just a little over but I wont quibble!) and to be honest growing up it had never occured to me that I might be considered short.
I always go for woman around the 5ft-3ft to 5ft-4 ish mark and to be honest its a real issue with many ladies. I always assumed that I was attractive enough in other ways that height would not be an issue especially when I was still at least 4 inches taller, but boy have I been wrong! I have lost count of the times on here that height has been an issue for so many women.
I remember going on date about 4 years ago with a girl who with her heels on I was still taller and all she did all night was take the piss out of me, as though I has some sort of disability! This is a girl that I was still taller then with her heels on! The women around about this height seem to want taller men for some reason! I have two mates, neither particularly good looking who are short (5ft 5is) and go out with women about my height (5ft 8in) and there women are fine! So its a strange one!
its frustrates the hell out of me but what can you do! | |
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Posted: 1/3/2009 11:08:56 PM | | I mentioned this somewhere else, but the problem is, why do shorter guys generally refuse to date taller women? Charlie-bucket, for instance, maybe you'd have less of this problem with women if you actually gave pretty, leggy women a chance, instead of just the short ones. I've noticed that taller women in general care way less about height than shorter women, yet shorter guys always go for the short women. Maybe you shorter guys should be more open to taller women and you'll have less of the issue of being discriminated against with your height. As for the shorter guys who DO like taller girls, you guys rock. I always feel happy when I see a shorter guy out with a woman who's taller than him. That kind of confidence and not being insecure about the height difference is very attractive. | |
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Posted: 1/4/2009 7:57:32 AM | | I have to completely agree with charlie as I didn't realize when I was much younger that my height (5-7) would be the source of much rejection from women. Despite the fact I too had enough going for me otherwise. And the last couple of years since I started with these online dating sites it has confirmed my suspicions. Unlike other sites where there is an "About My Date Section" where someone gets to list their preferences this site lacks such a section. So you contact a woman not knowing what height she's looking for. Generally if they are within a couple of inches of your height they aren't interested because they'll be taller than you in heels. So often times I wouldn't even bother contacting women over a certain height because it probably wouldn't be productive. After a time I became disillusioned with the whole online thing, so I've taken a step back for now and mostly just read and reply to the forums. Should I strike up a chat with a woman along the way great but I'm not pursuing as I once was. | |
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Posted: 1/4/2009 8:56:11 AM | Yes it surprised me as well especially as in a lot of cases I was at least the same height with their heels on. It seems to be that critical 5ft 3/4 inch height where they seem to crave really tall men. 5ft 7in or above (in my experience) they don't seem to be as bothered. But there is the rub they end up being a lot taller in their heels!
What's interesting is that if men were to say to woman, yeah you look nice but I prefer bigger breasts and a size 8 body then we would be accused of being vain and yet in reality woman are doing the same to men inferring as though you are not quite a man unless you are 6ft plus, even though you may still be taller then them.
I have even seem women in their mid forties asking specifically for tall men, you would logically think that if a really attractive (for example) say 36 year old guy who happened to be say 5ft 7in tall wrote to her she would maybe, just maybe relax her criteria just a tad and not quite be as pedantic but no!
How hard is it for for a very attractive woman in her mid forties to get a decent bloke and yet they many would turn down a perfectly very attractive bloke just because they don't feel fill their dream criteria, the point being that woman are just as vain as men!! Can you imagine the response we would get if we said yeah you look really nice but I really do prefer bigger breasts??? Perhaps we should do that as I really don't there this any difference, if women can get away with stating a desire that's comes natural to them then so should we with breasts!! What do you think guys? Next time you get knocked back on the height front mention the fact that actually you prefer bigger fuller breasts and not ones that are sagging, or maybe a rounder peachier bottom
Personally I like being 5ft 8in. I like having size 8 feet where shoes actually look good instead of having size 11 boats | |
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Posted: 1/4/2009 1:03:45 PM | Well I think it is as bad for a woman to say she requires a certain height as it is for a guy to say he prefers a certain breast size, but also if a guy prefers a certain hair color or race too. Though its bad, everyone does have their preferences. Guy do prefer certain breast sizes and hair colors too, but don't really advertise it. But, hate to tell you guys, many guys say they prefer "petite" (ie super short) women as well, so shouldn't this be considered as bad as you consider it when women say they only like tall men?
Charlie-bucket, what's so bad about a woman being a little taller than you in heels? Why does it have to be a "rub?" Too many guys are obsessed with some lame invented law that "men have to be taller than women they're with." Who cares if a woman is taller? Quit being so insecure and superficial about tall women.
The guys who refuse to even contact women over a certain height are total cowards and are missing out big time, so they have no right to complain that "women only like tall guys." You guys are causing your own bad luck be discriminating against tall women. | |
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Posted: 1/4/2009 1:13:39 PM |
why do shorter guys generally refuse to date taller women?
There are some short men that wouldn't date a taller woman. But in my experience, women generally care more about height than men do. There are plenty of short men that would date a tall woman. But they are often rejected due to height. | |
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Posted: 1/4/2009 1:13:48 PM | | I don't think the issue is being a total coward but rather knowing you most likely won't get anywhere with women above a certain height. I have contacted women who were around my height and was ignored and after a time you don't even bother anymore. In a sense I'm leaving it up to them; if a woman above a certain height is interested in me she's free to contact. In this sense because a mans height is more an issue for the woman she can decide whether or not I would interest her. | |
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Posted: 1/5/2009 5:01:13 AM | Well it goes with out saying that sometimes i am ashamed of my own sex , yes have heard friends bemoan the fact that they want a taller guy but i usually find that these friends who have a set list of physical requirements have fallen in to the trap "have a look" they are after but as time proves going by a type or look isnt working for them and they need to lighten up and chat to all different type of guys they just dont get it that it can be a smile a twinkle of the eye or a gut feeling that is the spark so dont fear guys there are other women out there who are not sizest and as to telling them about there chest  go for it what goes around comes around and they have to get as good as they give plus remember if girls need really high heels they must have short dumpy legs Now i will wait to be shot down in flames as a traitorr to the female cause  | |
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Posted: 1/5/2009 5:03:42 AM | | wish had checked for typos before posting but does it really matter guess not | |
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Posted: 1/24/2009 1:49:06 AM | | No comment. Better to say nothing here. | |
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Posted: 1/24/2009 3:09:29 PM | Thank God for short men, otherwise I'd be a 47 yr old virgin. LOL
In general, I have found shorter guys to be nicer than taller men.
I definitely think shorter men keep themselves in better shape, I see many more tall fat men than short fat ones. I have known very few to have the "Napoleon Complex" so often cited in these short men threads. | |
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Posted: 1/24/2009 3:25:38 PM |
Everyone has their their own ideas about what they deem attractive. Whether you like short, tall, petite, BBW, thin, black, white, purple, plaid, etc. I'm not attracted to someone shorter than me, if that makes me a horrible person so be it. Just don't waste my time. There are plenty of short women, go date them. Stop blaming tall women that don't want to date short men. Blame your parents for your genetics.
So now you are blaming your shallow and superficial thought process on genetics. What next?
It has also been my experience that the shorter women have the bigger problem with a mans height then the taller ones. | |
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Posted: 1/24/2009 3:37:40 PM | | I agree with Chucky. Shorter women are usually the height-obsessed ones and more worried about what "their friends will think" if she's with a short guy. If you discriminate against tall women, you're just as bad as women who discriminate against you for being short. | |
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Posted: 1/25/2009 9:31:22 AM | Many women are "programed" to be attracted to Tall, Dark, & Handsome. Does that mean short guys are doomed? I think not.
While a tall guy is Confident, a short guy is****.
Tall guys are informative, short guys are seen a Arrogant.
See the theme here?
Having said that, and being a short guy, I learned a very long time ago what works for me.
As an example, when I enter a room full of strangers, I carry myself confidently. Rather than walk, I swagger. Like a guy who just found his precious black Lexus in the parking lot had been "keyed", and he's looking for the culprit. But, and this is the key, I do it with a friendly smile on my face. Always inviting conversation. Thus avoiding being perceived as arrogant or****.
I'm extremely outgoing, yet can be quiet and a thoughtful listener. I'm somewhat well educated, well read, well travelled, and intelligent. But, it takes a while to find those things out about me. Being mysterious has an intrigueing affect on women.
As my daddy used to say, "It ain't the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." This is especially true in the dating world.
Confidence without being****, intelligent without being arrogant, funny but not crude, impeccably clean and nice smelling, healthy, wealthy, and wise, beats tall, dark, and handsome everytime. | |
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Posted: 1/25/2009 10:38:56 AM | I am 5'5 and 1/4 (the 1/4 is VERY important) and I don't mind short guys.. I have dated shorter than me, and it is not a big deal.. It is all about who they are on the inside -- period..
Give me a person with integrity, a kind heart, loyal to his convictions and it won't matter how tall he is.. Unless he has a fetish for stilts.. Not sure I can date a guy who wears stilts everywhere we go.. I might feel a little odd. Or, the guy who wants to ride a unicycle everywhere _ but that is another topic.. | |
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Posted: 1/25/2009 11:16:13 AM | This is gonna sound soooo cold. It's not though. I'm almost 6' myself (5'10".... I round up  ) I'll date a guy as tall as me but I just can't bring myself to DATE a guy I have to look down to. I LOVE masculine guys and that is just another trait I look for in a guy I'm DATING. I have several friend guys who are shorter than I am, but I don't think I could date them seriously. Sorry.... | |
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Posted: 1/25/2009 12:25:55 PM | | brrlrcnchic...I hope that you are not looking for a guy to love you for who you are on the inside since it is obvious that you are incappable of loving him for who he is on the inside. | |
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Posted: 1/25/2009 12:29:21 PM | I am 5'9 and overweight......that would make me look like a giant next to you hahaha.
I prefer over 6 footers....he can bounce me off the wall and I will not bruise him lol | |
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Posted: 1/25/2009 12:36:26 PM | | I'm with Whovile on this one. I've always liked them bigger, brawnier, man sized. I am only 5'2. I am small, feminine cause I am suppose to be. I don't really prefer the same in a guy. | |
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