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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/17/2006 8:02:57 PM | I enjoy learning new things and expanding myself .......I want you to feed me to my waist expands so much that i have to go to a tent maker to get fitted for a pair of pants, and then teach me what it's like to make love to a beached whale such as yourself
I'm kidding buddy | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/17/2006 8:17:01 PM | LMAO............ok......
I enjoy writing poetry, reading Stephen King,the beach and camping.
...............I live under a viaduct reading books I stole from 7-eleven and have no home - hence "camping"...when the police move me along, I'll see you at the beach!
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/17/2006 8:24:37 PM | ^^The guy is psychic i tell you
I strive for perfection.........................I had so much plastic surgery that my eyes are now positioned where my ears once were | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/17/2006 10:15:07 PM | ^^^^
I am seeking a man who is looking for hangout
...I'll invite you over to play 5 stud poker...win all your cash and hang you out to dry, alone broke and penniless in the hot baking sun | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/17/2006 10:23:57 PM | ^^^No you keep it sweety maybe it will help in your search to find what you are looking for...i loved your profile by the way, very unique | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/18/2006 1:19:22 AM | Enjoys travelling = I'll go for any man who can get me away from my current hellhole
inspired, new age, spiritual, artistic= haven't dealt with reality in the last decade | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/18/2006 5:09:39 AM | | I,m New to Online Dating = I was one of the first 10 members to ever register on Match dot com and have been online since computers were as big as a house. | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/21/2006 4:43:06 PM | Animal activist, I'm adding that one to my profile.
Camping under a bridge, close, camping where I work when pension kicks in. Thank-you Dalton Mcguinty, bill 206 ought to leave me homeless, sell home for food. Live in tent. | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/21/2006 4:54:18 PM |
BBW...........................BIG BIG Woman
That's funny, but exactly what does BBW stand for? I see it on that drop-down body-type list, what could be so scary that they have to abbreviate it? | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/21/2006 9:30:54 PM | ^^^^It stands for big beautiful women since you asked
I have a Model's figure..........................................when i turn completely sideways i disappear
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/22/2006 6:32:30 AM | Ok, so it all boils down to this:
Mens posting:
Lets **** !
Womens posting:
You MUST:
- Be over 6'2"
- Be in great shape.
- Be great looking.
- Be educated. I have a masters degree AND a law degree. That means I am really smart. Did I mention I have a masters degree AND a law degree? Even though deep down I know I am not that bright I can hide behind these degrees and pretend I am - phewww!:)
- Have a great job and make lots of money. If you aren't a doctor or lawyer you aren't good enough cuz they are really, really smart but more importantly they will make my best girlfirends jealous (****es !).
- Be able to impress my friends and make them envious and jealous. Oops I think I mentioned that above. Just want to make sure you know what your main purpose is.
- Not be too domineering but you aren't a momma's boy either. Meaning whatever mood I am in I will tell you how to act.
- Like wine. I like Shiraz cuz it's Australian and I am really worldly and only know Merlot and Shiraz and Shiraz sounds more sophisticated.
- Be well travelled. The bus tour in London was great and staying at the Paris Hilton just screams culture. It means you are smart, attractive and cultured if you travel, cuz getting on a plane and staying at the Hilton takes lots of brains and skill.
- Like jewelry. Tiffany is my very favorite - it is just wonderful. I love wearing a dog tag around my neck that reads someone elses name. Besides only 20 million other women have it. I feel so special wearing the same thing everyone else does.
- Like Starbucks. Even though their coffee really sucks and is way overpriced I must have it. What would someone think if they saw me walking with a plain styrofoam cup ???
- Like fine cars. As with jewelry, I have very unique taste in cars as well - BMW or Mercedes.
- Love Sex and the City because like the girls on the show I have whored around a ton (I will never admit that to you though) but seeing it done on TV makes it OK. Because they aren’t just whores, they are rich women looking for love! They represent sophisticated, educated, tasteful, classy girls like me. If you are a yuppie and spread your legs for lots of guys you aren’t a whore – you are just looking for the right guy. Those uneducated blue collar girls that **** lots of guys are whores ! But I have a masters degree and a law degree so just because I have had more men than the urinals at Fenway Park I am not a whore damn it !
- Not ever, ever, ever be worse looking than any of my friends boyfriends cuz if you are I will try to **** him behind your back and my girlfriends back (that ****!)
- Not ever, ever, ever, mother ****er be less successful than any of my friends boyfriends. If you are I will try to **** him behind your back and my girlfriends back (I hate her !)
- Never bore me. Yes, you guessed it, if you do see above, cuz I am getting sick of telling your sorry ass how many ways and why I will cheat on you (sigh!)
- Give me the attention I need but not be too clingy. Again, this all depends on my mood of the moment. Good luck figuring that out. Oh and if you aren’t attentive enough or too attentive, see above.
- Have a huge**** Again, see above, you know by now what will happen if you don't.
- Constantly be amazing in bed and live up to every fantasy I have ever had about a man. If you don't I'll be coming home late from work several times a week.
- Be a Prince or the son of a Prince would be good. I am too stupid to know that the son of a Prince is still a Prince but I know I want to get me one. If not a billionaire, millionaire, singer, actor, athlete, doctor or lawyer (in that order) is acceptable.
Being a psycho or sociopath is OK as long as you meet all the above criteria. I won't let a small thing like that get in the way if you have all these other qualities. Just because it didn't work out for Nicole Simpson or Laci Peterson doesn't mean it won't work for us. And even though Princess Diana was more miserable than George Bush on Jeopardy I am sure I will be quite happy being a Princess. At least until the effect of making my friends really envious and jealous wears off, then I will find something to hate about you and my life !
Also when I do cheat please know that it will NEVER, EVER, EVER be my fault - it will be yours.
Please note this is just a partial listing of things I am looking for in a man. You should know that this list can and will change constantly and if we do get together there will be an ever changing social contract that I will constantly amend without you knowing it and worse never tell you I changed it.
RESPONSES WITHOUT PICS WILL BE IMMEDIATELY DELETED!
I can't wait to hear from you.
this is in or around Manhattan
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/22/2006 7:26:27 AM | Good to see you back....incredibly funny post
Unbiased.......................I'm not bias because i hate everyone equally | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/22/2006 8:08:20 PM | self employed ........................................drug dealer
looking for a wife ...............................stalker
looking for casual relationship............................looking for a one night stand | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/22/2006 10:35:14 PM | anything fun bowling maybe go out for drinks and dinner whatever i feel like at the moment..................It's all about me
im a bit flaky...........I'm flaky
....ok, give me a break, look at the conditions I have to work under to find new
material!! | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/23/2006 9:17:52 PM | | I'm a country girl at heart............I shoot possum and cook it up for dinner and if you ever cheat on me i'll fill your ass full of buckshot to | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 2/23/2006 11:00:46 PM | Independant thinker................Completely out of touch with reality.
My children come first...............I really don't have time in my life for a man.
Tired of game players................I'm ready to move on to the real psychotic sickos.
   :banana........I'm 14 years old and just playing on Daddy's computer.
Looking for long term relationship only...
................................You must agree to never leave me no matter how horrible I become. | |
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| Decoder for womens personal ads
Posted: 3/3/2006 8:21:58 PM | | A very easy giver.......................She gives out sex easily after you spent your whole pay check on her | |
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