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| someone like your dad
Posted: 10/16/2006 10:07:14 AM | ^ hee
as for my dad , well, I suppose there are some good qualities but I have to look *real* hard , and those good qualities are something I would seek in a partner not because my dad possesses them but because they are basic human traits that I would want in anyone I associate with in my life (for example - intelligence, sense of humour etc).
yes my dad is smart he just made *many* dumb choices in life, and he is pretty funny from time to time, so there , those are the two good qualities.
I didn't have a horrible childhood, had a great one as a matter of fact, but my fathers infidelity and lying caused my mother a lot of grief and ultimately resulted in their divorce. Also my fathers general apathy when it comes to his children (well me anyway ,I can't vouch for the others but I'm sure it's the same with them) is something I would never want in a partner and potential father for my children - the man literally has zero interest in the goings on of his children, at all, period. | |
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ousu
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Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 52 | |
| someone like your dad
Posted: 10/16/2006 10:09:27 AM | Partly yes (trustworthiness, suiting the action to the word, for instance), partly no (heheee... I am not going to bash my father - we are not perfect, not even the parents :p)
In fact, all my partners have been in a way with an heart of gold - only a bit screwed up but that latter part might have just been my own, personal preference :p
Something from my dad, something from my mom... but then that kind of person would be boringly near perfect :-( | |
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| someone like your dad
Posted: 10/16/2006 9:44:51 PM | | To Sombient: I don't know what exactly you read into my post, but I was simply stating what I had been told by various inmates that I had talked to while I was a correctional officer. I believe at least some studies have shown that abuse is a generational thing and what one sees while growing up affects the ways they behave toward their famalies. Fathers, as all other people, should be judged on an individual basis(we are all individuals, right), and yes we should learn from our own mistakes and those of others. I happen to have a very good father and I'm proud to be his son. I have 2 daughters and I try to be a good father to them as well, I'm by no means perfect and I do make mistakes, but "so long as man strives, he errs"(I don't remember where that quote came from). Judge your father as harshly or as gently as you wish,after all, you, not I grew up in his household and you know what the treatment was. I wish EVERYONE had good parents, but they never have and never will. | |
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| someone like your dad
Posted: 10/16/2006 10:00:09 PM | In response to hapeenurse, positive,good,noble human traits are what anyone is looking for.Few people are totally evil, and no one is totally good. For most girls, the first and greatest male influence in her life is that of her father(whether biological or not) and this person's behavior colors her preceptions and choices of men for a large part of their lives. This may be conciously or sub-conciously, but she is influenced by this male entity for better or worse. She is also impacted if there is no male influence in her life while growing up. The fact that so many women are negatively impacted by their fathers should make all men who have children take a very hard look at how they act as parents, the whole nature-vs-nurture thing comes into play, but as a parent, if you do the best job you can raising your children and they turn out rotten, at least you have the(cold) comfort that you did the best you could.  | |
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| someone like your dad
Posted: 10/18/2006 10:11:35 AM | i agree with you totally Ben_Raines ....and i beleive that kids live what they learn....and after working for a FCAS, and being a foster parent for two yrs i beleive now more than ever.....
like i said in my first message i feel it in uncousously......
i think alot of people our generation are "victims" of society......the strict ways of disipline and values have really messed alot of US up....notice i say US cuz i am one of them.......
Now there is a totally different way of raising our children "positive parenting" and the values have changed significantly so i hope that the future generations will have better parenting skills and more open values...... | |
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| someone like your dad
Posted: 10/18/2006 10:17:10 AM | There are many traits in my dad that I would love to have in a partner... but there are some that I wouldn't want either.
I think a lot of women who were raised in a good family look for similar traits in a partner because it's what they know. That's also why women act like their mother's after they've had children! It's what you know.
My dad is a kind, caring, loving man. He's strong and handy around the house. He's the protector and I know I can trust him for absolutely anything. I would love to have these traits in a partner.
BUT...
My dad also tries to be very controlling. He wants to make my life choices for me and protect me more than I need. And these are the traits I don't want in my partner. | |
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| someone like your dad
Posted: 11/28/2006 10:12:11 AM | | Hey wow i know what ur saying. I love my dad but he has tought me very well, I hate things that he does, he is very controlling and has anger issues, i always have promised myself that i would never be with a guy like my dad and my last bf i was with 4 a year and a half and i loved him untill he turned into my dad and i said forget that and i got rid of him and the first thing i did was thank my dad but ya i loved a guy that was just like my dad, i belive that ya we do fall for guys like our dads, im a daddys gurl he would do anything for me and what girl doesnt want a guy that would treat u like a queen like my daddy. | |
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| someone like your dad
Posted: 11/28/2006 10:16:20 AM |
Do you believe that some of us women are drawn to men like our dads? I never really thought about it before but when you do really think about it, are you? If you want to share, which ones of your dad's traits do you find in your b/fs or husbands?
I am the one like my dad was. Bored easy, and hate to settle down.
Unless you mean the fact that he's dead. Most men I date aren't dead, so no I guess I don't follow that pattern. | |
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| someone like your dad
Posted: 11/28/2006 10:38:18 AM | Actually, I am usually attracted to someone who is the opposite of my father. Loyalty, faithfulness, honesty, sensitivity, patience, respect -- that is what I look for. My dad was a hard, rough, demanding, and demeaning man, and I want nothing to do with someone like that in my life.
He is strong and brave, and I do admire those qualities. I wish I had a father that I could use as a role model, but it doesn't always work like that. | |
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| someone like your dad
Posted: 11/28/2006 7:42:57 PM | | Please god, don't give me someone like my Dad! lol (Not all Dad's are the greatest) | |
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