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 Just_Jay79
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 76
are women playing GOD when they become pregnantPage 4 of 54    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Sigh... Redmamma I want you to listen carefully to what my posts are about:

My posts have been asking is there any circumstance under which a woman becoming pregnant should not justify her entitlement to support, in which I listed two hypothetical scenarios where contraceptive measures were used and failed (or deliberately sabotaged on her part), and that the former couple is still within the 1st few weeks of conception.

All I asked was does anyone out there think there are any circumstances under which the one-sided pregancy decision should be a one-sided responsibility?

So far all the posts on the original topic have typically mentioned "he should have worn a condom" - my "what-if" scenarios don't deal with this topic, and I fully agree that anyone stupid enough not to use any form of contraception deserves to pay the consequences. I just want to see what people's thoughts are outside of that situation...

Peace
 spark389
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 77
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are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/9/2006 2:48:09 PM
Peacefrog;Not all are..........but you are!
 spark389
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 78
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are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/9/2006 2:56:10 PM
To baddest shark;You lost me. Who's blaming God ! Read the question.It says playing
not blaming
 redmamma
Joined: 7/2/2005
Msg: 79
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/9/2006 3:00:54 PM
I'm listening carefully Tiger.... my answer is....it takes two to tango.. men know there are risks when they free willie...just like the women do with the open the tunnel of love...no matter what happens after, whether it is right after conception, or not, they knew the risks.. they are BOTH responsible.....Whether they used protection or not... you play.. sometimes you have to pay

Was that clear enough for ya????????????

elsalaluna... ummmmm ?????????????????????????????
 Liongirl25
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 80
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are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/9/2006 3:14:24 PM
To Elsolaluna: Interesting theory. I feel sorry for you that these are the kind of women who you have had the misfortune to be surrounded by! It's too bad you believe that nonsense. I am not going to dispute that there are some women like that, but as far as the majority? Women are not all unthinking, uncaring unfeeling Stepford- like automatons that so many men of the men believe us to be. I think the main problem is maybe NEITHER ONE OF THE SEXES UNDERSTANDS ONE DAM THING ABOUT THE OTHER. Except for maybe on the most base of all levels. So we go around concocting these half-baked theories that just continue to drive more of a wedge in between. Maybe a little more active listening and empathy would be beneficial.
 K.Koje
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 81
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are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/9/2006 3:59:05 PM
To Liongirl25: I wouldn't even call it a theory. More like an observation. Note: I did say the communication between men and women in "general" is virtually non-existent, except for what it is we want. Look at the nature of this online dating experience. Codified, categorized, polarized. Women talk to women. They have real conversations. They value each others' opinions almost to a fault. They talk at men. The reason for that is men don't really listen, until they learn to. Why is that? Because men are hard pressed to be interested in a lot of the things women are. That's why women-again generally adore gay men. Because they can and do value and discuss issues women hold dear, including men.

Objectifying people goes so much deeper than you are perhaps prepared to admit. That doesn't mean I have those kinds of women around me. I learned that there are many other kinds and qualities in women a long time ago. I also learned to listen from women. When I did, oh man! What they were really saying blew my mind. I am by no means a woman basher. But I have also noticed that kind of defensiveness that refuses introspection to search for truth in observations such as this. To be fair, women hold many of the intractable positions they do because they are only recently beginning to emerge as what they historically-ancient historically were, equal citizens under the law in theory and practice. I think the danger here is that women now are tipping the scales in the other direction, making it a dangerous thing to commit to a relationship, financially-because of divorce laws, emotionally-as with child custody issues and physically since the desire for physicality is built into our gonads and are inescapable.

The truth is, children have been and continue to be seriously harmed by the war between sexes. The war is about control issues no human being has a right to contest with another even in marriage. Personal choice and personal freedom has to be excepted with grace by parties to romance if we are to make our world safe for children. Our world reflects what's going on in our families. Are women playing God? Not enough for my taste. GOD IS LOVE! LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL!
 ComoLaFlor4U
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 82
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/9/2006 4:49:32 PM
Well I read through all the posts and what's missing from this picture? I want to go back to the thread..are women playing God when they become pregnant?

This thread is getting redundant and we could go on and on talking about the laws, courts, children's right, parents' rights, etc. But the real answers lie in asking the right questions. This is a very emotional subject and everyone has their own ideas of raising children, paying support payments, bad parents/good parents. All of those issues deal with AFTER the pregnancy.

So here is my question for the OP so I can get to the heart of the matter. What does a pregnancy have to do with playing God? May I suggest it sounds like women are using their pregnancies to control a situation. Because let me tell you the moment I heard 'positive' and went home I felt anything but in control. This is not a thread to discuss God in my opinion. Personally I think God would be offended at your question. Just my thoughts....
 livewirehere
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 83
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 12:01:06 AM
Children are a blessing, when you're ready for them. I recently had a young Hispanic girl living with me (18 years old) and she became pregnant about 3 months after graduating from high school. She had just started going to college part time and working part time.

When she found out she was told it was so early in the pregnancy that she wouldn't even have to have an abortion. They could give her a "medication".

She told me a week later than she decided to keep it, that God gave her the baby... I truly believe that unprotected premarital sex gave her that bab, but she didn't want to hear it. She then lied to me and said she was moving in with her "boyfriend", when in fact she moved in with her aunt..

I just hope she's happy with the decision she made. Motherhood will most certainly wake her up to the reality of raising a child~~~
 TheGlimmerMan
Joined: 12/22/2005
Msg: 84
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 1:18:27 AM
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant


No My Son..


Maybe they are not just playing God,maybe they think they are God! Well what do you think?


This cannot be My Child.......because "*****I'AM GOD*******"


This is not directed to all women, just the women who think they are calling the shots.


Ok I admitt it When I made Woman.....I botched a few things as Gods Go But Hey!!!I love the ground they walk on,and I happen to think they are one of My greatest creations ...since the universe...
****I'm GOD***...don't mess with Me......or "Ms, God" will kick yer ass!!!!!


ps-they also play God when it comes to the emotionally affected fathers.


As GOD!!!....I say it is ok for You to feel this way.....

Remember OP thou shall not Troll.........I'm watching You.....................
 peacefrog
Joined: 4/12/2005
Msg: 85
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 6:54:24 AM
spark... why am i a selfish ****???? please explain...
 peacefrog
Joined: 4/12/2005
Msg: 86
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 7:11:38 AM
spark - I don't understand why you need to attack people just because they posted their own opinions. I did not insult you and you have no right to insult me for the life I am living. There is no way you can understand what is going on in my life and I am not about to explain it to someone who thinks women think they are God. Do you insult people just to make yourself feel better. Calling someone a selfish **** because she chose to not hound the baby's father to get him involved and instead left it up to him. If he wants to see this child, he will see the mediator and together we will set up visitation. Like I said, it was an unhealthy relationship.

There is also the fact that men try to impregnate women... this is pretty much what happened to me. This guy said he wanted us to get pregnant... and being a fool I listened to his empty promises that if it happened we would raise it together. Mind you, the relationship went bad before any of that could be played out. But since I got pregnant, and he was there too... it is only right that he "should" be responsible and step up and be a man and take the responsibility. It is so easy for men to just say... not my problem.

Don't attack someone just because their opinion is different than yours... Get a life.
 spark389
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 87
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are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 7:49:23 AM
To elsolaluna;Amen,Amen,Amen.Your absolutely right. God could never be a pregnant
woman.
 spark389
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 88
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are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 7:57:19 AM
To comolaflor4u; I think God would be offended by some pregnant women.As far as your question"What does a pregnantcy have to do with playing God". You didn't read the question,
I said "pregnant women" not pregnancy.
 spark389
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 89
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are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 8:07:08 AM
To peacefrog; You attacted me.In your first sentence you said I was dumb.Why are
you selfish? you say "I wasn't going to go after it " but,but but, come on ,if your going to bring a kid into this world,start thinking for yourself !
 Liongirl25
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 90
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are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 8:30:46 AM
Elsolaluna: I agree with this last post of your's more than I did the first. You clarified some things you were talking about and now I see your position. I think that one's lack of introspection and personal growth is definately a dangerous thing. I see that quite frequently in both sexes. Same goes for holding intractable positions. No amount of communication is going to help in most cases. V. frustrating.
 Liongirl25
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 91
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are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 8:44:41 AM
I also wanted to say to Spark389: It seems to me that everytime a women expresses her opinion here, or describes her situation, you only take out of it what you want to hear. You seem to think that we are all die hard feminists, and man haters and we want to have your children to punish you and take over the world, etc. Sure, maybe some women think like that, but none that I surround myself with. Just because I had one bad experience with a guy doesn't mean that I won't give another one a chance. Do you think when we are little girls we sit and daydream while we pick flowers and think about how wonderful it will be to have a child out of wedlock?! Of course not. It would have made me very happy to share my baby with the father (I did love him after all) but he didn't want that. If he changes his mind later on, I will give him every opportunity to see his baby. I think it's very important.

When Peacefrog and I were talking about what happened to us, we are talking about one PARTICULAR man in our lives who wronged us. It is not a personal attack against you. Did you get me pregnant and take off? No! Are you the father of Peacefrog's child? Of course not. You can't speak for every man as though they have honorable intentions and we women were the evildoers. You can't look into these men's hearts and minds and profess that they are pure and clean. You have never met them.

You are attacking all women when in all actuality, your situation sounds pretty similar to what Peacefrog and I are dealing with, but, of course with a gender role reversal. You got screwed over, we got screwed over. We should be commiserating and learning from each other. Not blasting each other and taking potshots. It's childish and unproductive. I have been guilty of it too, but it is a complete waste of time.
 spark389
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 92
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are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 12:34:08 PM
To liongirl25 ; You write ; " Do you think when we were little girls we sit and daydream while
we pick flowers and think about how wonderful it will be to have a child out of wedlock?! "
My answer ; YES I DO !! .Not you of course , you don't even hang around with people that even think that way.
 cuddlyjessica
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 93
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 1:11:36 PM
Somehow.. I don't think women are 100% to blame for the getting pregnant thing. It's as much a man's responsiblity to worry about birth control as it is the woman's!!

As for vengence using the kids in the fight. That shows immaturity on both sides. She's dealing the cards and you're playing them. It's best to have a concrete custody arrangement with child support clearly outlined through the state. That way you'll never be worrying about access to your child. And you'll be able to sanction his or her actions without doing any more harm to the child.

From my experience with friends & family, the situations that have arisen are the fault of both parents. If you allow yourself to be used & abused then you're just as much to blame.
 spark389
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 94
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are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 1:44:57 PM
cuddlyjessica ; You say it's the fault of both parents....with one exception,a woman can abort a guy can't.Because she has this option she must take resposibility if she chooses to have the baby, especially if he doesn't want it.Thats not to say he dosen't have a financial
or emotional tie to the baby.
 squeak365
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 95
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 1:59:17 PM
**You say it's the fault of both parents....with one exception,a woman can abort a guy can't.

The only problem I have with this idea is that men may not be able to have a physical abortion, but they have always been able to have an emotional one. By this, I mean they can and do walk away from a child without a thought of how it will affect the child. I know many children who went thru life wondering what it was they did that made Daddy walk away. They lived too many years in pain for something they had nothing to do with.

So...which is worse here? A woman ending an unwanted pregnancy or that baby growing up wounded...often not ever knowing WHY daddy walked away? I totally agree it takes two to make a child...then why is it so often left up to one to raise it?

If men want more say here, they best step up to the plate and make sure more of them take responsibility for any child they help create. And guys, IT TAKES MORE THAN MONEY TO RAISE A HEALTHY CHILD. I find it is often more painful when the man abandons the child emotionally than when he leaves financially. If you have a male friend or a male relative who is proud of being an absent father, tell him he best have a relationship with that child/ren. They need each other way more than most realize. (I mean the daddy and the child.)

Squeak
 Corvanther
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 96
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are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 2:04:56 PM
Ok. I have read through there and looked at all the posts. I have noted some things.

1 - No matter what a woman will say a guy has a responseabilty to any child he fathers. A guy will say almost all the time there are situations where this is not so. Why is this? Simple I think. A guy does not have to pack around that abay for nine months. Does not have to go through hours of labor for it. My sister had her third yesterday and was in labor from eight in the morning till four in the afternoon, after all that don't you think she wants the father in the pciture?

2 - Tigers arguments, well the only thing I can think of is if a man and woman get together and break up while she knows she is pregnant, but dosen't tell him at all about it. I think there is possably a statute of limitations here. If she tells him before the baby is born, or right after he has the responseability for that child. If she shows up a decade later with a ten year old in tow and says this is your kid pay me, then no. This does not apply to guys who dodged the court for that decade, just ones who were not told at all.

3 - Several people have brought up that if a man does not want his baby there are several available options to the woman to simply kill it. I am not going to get into the morals of abortion here. I do think that if the woman does not want the baby and the father does they should be able to get the baby. This is a hard thing because of number one here. When it comes to aborting a child the father has no rights at all whatsoever. She can end her pregnancy at a whim, yes, I realise those that have done so it is not that easy.

Basically it comes down to the animal instinct. This woman is having my baby. While I may not like her as much anymore this baby is mine. I want it to have the best. It is not the babys fault that you want or do not want it. It deserves the best you can give it. Maybe it will learn from your mistakes?
 ComoLaFlor4U
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 97
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 2:07:11 PM
Oh for pete's sake Spark you know damn well you are being a petty son of a ****...and no God is not offended by anyone...jeesh find a life.
 WorkingGirl
Joined: 1/31/2005
Msg: 98
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 2:23:30 PM
I absolutely believe that it is 100% of the woman's responsibility to NOT get pregnant if she doesn't want a child.

It's MY body. Therefore, it's MY responsibility to ensure that doesn't happen.

To blame it on the man is a load of bull$hit and a cop out. There are many forms of BC out there. If you're on the Pill, use foam or a cervical cap, use a condom, etc. This is 2006.

Ladies...it's OUR responsibility ultimately.
 spark389
Joined: 12/2/2005
Msg: 99
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are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 2:32:55 PM
To squeak ; You gave me another idea for a thread that might answer the question.
I'll post it now.
 boarderx25
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 100
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 2/10/2006 2:37:21 PM
I would have to give an absolute "yes" to all the above. Women are playing as if they were GOD by the examples above, and the men get get slammed by the courts. Now im not talking about the dead beat dads etc, but my friend has just gone through this stuff, and he found out later that she was trying to get pregnant the whole time. Its pretty messed up to me that someone could use preganancy and then using your kid as an asset or bargaining point. Just awful, everyone should have atleast a small heart, thats rediculas.
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