| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:29:59 AM | Hey Joe,
I slept with my ex-wife on the first night and stayed with her for 18 years. In today's world, many consider that a successful relationship. I don't. I thought marriage was a lifetime commitment. She didn't. I now realize that I'll may never celebrate a twenty-five year anniversary... I would have liked to see a fifty year anniversary. My friends couldn't understand why I would stay with her. That "one night stand" turned into a failed relationship. Any marriage that doesn't end with a funeral is unsuccessful in my book. Yours, mine... we settle for less than the gold and the title. No knock on you Joe. Our society has become a disposable society. Even marriages get thrown away. Hope you get the gold someday.
James | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:39:06 AM | Hello... what do you consider long lasting? Is eighteen years long lasting? I slept with my ex-wife the first night... or did she sleep with me? Anyway... it lasted eighteen years before she left. Turns out she went after a married man. When we settle for less then we get less. If you're looking for forever then you've got to start with forever. The promise before the prize. I'm not judging her, you, or anyone else for giving the sex before the ceremony. I would be a hypocrit. I just know that I am not the person that I was back then. I think our society has become a disposable society. Marriage is disposable. Morality has been thrown out... it too is disposable... if a person can't keep a high level of morality then they throw it out and get a lower level of morality.
Physical pleasure clouds moral judgment. It clouds everything. We get good sex and it helps us to overlook other things... besides many people will give us what we're looking for if we give them something in return. That's not true giving. True giving is giving without expectation. Why shouldn't he treat you right? You're giving him the prize he wants. Most people can treat us well in the beginning... that's not uncommon... they're getting sex too. Want to see how they really are? Stop giving them what they want and see them change. People think that they change later in the relationship but that's not true. Actors aren't the only ones who act. We've all done some acting. How about job interviews? The greatest audition we all know so well.
I'm not telling anyone how to live their life but as for me... I'm not giving the prize until I get, and give, the promise. When someone doesn't tip well, we call them a cheapskate. Anyone who won't give you the promise before you give them the prize is a cheapskate. Don't settle for cheapskates. Just my opinion... I welcome yours.
God bless you
James | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:44:01 AM | You need to talk to him; he may think of this as a friends with benefits thing; I've never had a one night stand; I could have many times; but I chose not too.
And saying that guys that get uptight after a one night stand are a-holes, is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. I know many people that regret it a lot after the fact so save it. | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:01:44 AM | | Well, every long term relationship I've been in started with a one night stand. In fact, it's funny, I've never had a long term thing that didn't start that way, but, I'm an odd duck. | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:11:59 AM | yeah...
if he called back and if you went out again.... that is more of wow ... good connection than easy girl, easy girl...
so he is probably not thinking of it in that way... then again I am not a mind reader... but if you are both having fun after the fact.. then it was probably not a one night stand... | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:50:45 AM | | I have 2 ex wives that started as 1 night stands. I still loved both of them when they left me for another. Fortunantly one of them left me with a wounderfull son. The problem is thats the only way i know how to date. Have sex first then get to know them. I think sex breaks a big barier. If you have had sex already you are not going to put on a false impression . You have gotten past that. | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:48:05 AM | I agree with many posts. This guy may be very understanding & realize that you weren't just throwing yourself out there. The situation seemed "right" and you two just went with the chemistry, compatibility, etc. Just keep stay honest with each other.
I am a pretty easy-going, understanding guy myself. If the situation happened to me, I wouldn't rush to quick judgements. I would listen, be patient and give the relationship time to run it's course. | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:01:53 AM | | I think that by reading the previous posts, you got the answer and encouragement you needed. I am very glad you put up this thread as I loved what everyone had to say as well. Good luck, enjoy and let things build. | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:09:04 AM | you met here, made enough of a connection to meet in person. that went extremely well, obviously, as there was enough intrigue and chemistry to have sex. he called you again and you go out and continue to have sex. Ummmm, you're dating.
get over it, be present in the moments you have with him, enjoy it! i know quite a few people that have had relationships that are lasting many years and they all started with the magical one nighter!!
if he, or you, didn't enjoy the sex or each other you would not continue to do so. he was just as 'easy' as you. no worries.
as always, just my opinion | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:11:06 AM | UM the OP was two years ago!! Maybe she will read this thread and let us know what happened!
Anyway the men I slept with on the first date went to the way side - the men I slept with quite some time after - I married! | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:43:51 AM | | No it will not leave a bad impression. You are both consenting adults. My brothers x wife and I became good friends when they got divorced and she was out for one nite stands every nite we went out. Some of them never spoke to her again and others did. There was this one guy that never took her on a date ever and after there one nite stand he would call when he was done partying around 3 am and go have sex with her. I told her she was stupid being used like that but she fell hard for him. She kept providing sex nite after nite around 3am. I thought she was nuts. Yet eventually he fell for her and married her! So anything can happen. | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:16:39 PM | Hey newgal.,,,
The best thing is for you to express your insecurites to him and talk it out. He maybe thinking you a friends with benefits kinda gal.......but if you want something more serious.,, the best bet would be to talk talk talk. Its better to know now, rather than involve yourself deeper and deeper............and maybe even get hurt in the future
good luck | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/11/2008 1:49:01 AM | The first time I had sex on the first meeting was with a 19 year old I met in a bar. We weren't even a drinking. It was a non-alcoholic (teeny bopper) bar. We were young and sober. I took her home. I fell in love. She dumped me. She broke my heart. But it was one of the best times I ever had and I'd do it again in a second to this day.
The second time I had sex with a women on the first meeting I married her. Again, we met in a bar. Seven relatively happy years later we divorced, due to many factors (involving kids, adoption, and some other shit), none of which involved sex. The third time I had sex on the first meeting wasn't even a date. I met a friend of my neighbors who happened to be visiting and took her home. I married her too and don't plan on ever letting her go.
To me, if a women has sex with you on the first date it means that there's a possibility for something great in the future. If she plays miss frigid it means she either doesn't like you all that much or she's in to playing games. You don't even wanna know which. Just get the hell out while you can.
So don't worry about it. You're aces. She likes you as much as you like her. What could be better?
- Mike | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/11/2008 4:46:41 AM | Its not a one night stand anymore, you are F buddies!!, which is a nice way to start a relationship and if its all good normally it ends in a relationship. Dont think you are easy, guy are easy too these days more than women lol if theres sexual chemistry a one nighter is bound to happen :) goodluck with your buddy! | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 6/11/2008 5:34:45 AM | I had a one night stand that lasted almost 3 and a half years.
He stuck by me when I was first diagnosed with cancer.
And although not together any more we are still good friends and we call each other every christmas and birthday ect. his folks and sister still call me too.
Not bad for a 1 night stand.
It can happen. | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 9/4/2008 3:47:01 AM | | He sounds like he likes you - is he a male whore because he had sex with you? Of course not, the double standard is a little out-of-date. I've done the same thing - sometimes it blows up in your face the next day - one time, it turned into a great friends thing - I'm still in touch with this guy by the way and our first time was over 5 years ago. I quit beating myself up for being human and craving sex like a normal person - everybody does the sex-on-the first date thing sometimes. | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 9/4/2008 4:52:00 AM | | This sounds more like first date sex more than a one night stand because you are going out. It happens and while things may have been perceptually out of chronological order, he's getting to know you now and still asking you out. | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 9/4/2008 7:23:04 AM | Well Newgal, sometimes ya just gotta bite the ol bullet, say to him you want to have a chat
maybe over a couple of drinks. Tell him that you are a bit concerned that he may have the wrong impression of you 'cause of the first night, you dont normally do that but you had a connection that you hadnt had in a while, so you let it continue with his advances, your only human and that will boost his ego slightly. If he is mature and really into you he will brush it off with a "well I was into you too so all is good" if his eyes raise to the left high position he is thinking of a way out of the discussion and be careful. Be a bit careful of the 'love' conversation and just be yourself, guys worth the effort wont hold anything more against you than they do themselves so you/he should be ok with it. Watch those eyes and remember these things are always better out on the table, good luck | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:41:44 AM | Here's my story...
I was talking to this guy online and he was the friend of a friend. The three of us went to Toronto for a big party. He and I already decided to share a room...even before meeting (contain your gasps).
We go to the party, he and I go back to the room, we have sex...next morning we all go out for breakfast and head back to Ottawa.
I think it's gonna be a one time thing.
He messages me and asks to see me again... He was nice, good in bed...sure why not.
We dated for a year and a half...and up till the end it was a great year and a half.
New story...
I met a different friend of a friend...and holy crap was he good looking. We chatted at a bar for a bit before parting ways.
We kept in touch online a bit but nothing really worth mentioning.
I decide to have a house party for my birthday. I invite friend...and her good looking friend.
We get drunk and go upstairs to my room where we have sex.
In the morning he leaves and I think that was that...
Till I get to the bar that night with all my friends (my birthday weekend that wouldn't end...lol)... Good looking one night stand is there. Yea!
So he comes home with me again...
We've been dating for almost 10 mos now.
So you see...a one night stand can become more
Just don't go getting all weird and girly on him...sometimes a one night stand is just that (I've had my share of those too)
But if he called back it means he's at least interested in more sex...never a bad thing IMO | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 9/4/2008 3:07:15 PM | This may have nothing to do with the post but I felt I had to give my opinion.
I'm looking for a woman that is comfortable with her sexuality and doesn't pretend to look for one thing when really looking for many things. I don't believe ppl that are simply looking for friendship or hang out. You don't use a dating site to help you make friends. That's absurd! Everyone is looking for sex, eventually. They just don't want to admit it or they want other things besides sex. I think the women that don't allow men to msg. if they have looked for an intimate encounter are hypocrits.
Do you want the guy you date to be inexperienced? Awkward! Yes, I like sex and at times I wanted it without a relationship involved. How does that affect you in any way? It's not even your business. I personally don't care if you wanted sex without strings attached before. Why would you care if I did? Being extra picky is what got you here on a dating site in the first place. I've seen attractive women that share common interests with me looking for strictly intimate encounters. So, by your logic I am not allowed to contact you if I tried to contact her...? That is the very definition of prejudice. This is not a personal preference like age, colour, or height, etc. This is something that is private and other plenty of fishers have no right to know if you did that or not. I find it to be an invasion of privacy. It just shows how many closed minded ppl there are around that think they are open minded. Thinking you're something you're not does not make you right because you're allowed to think whatever you want. It's your opinion but logically it doesn't make any sense nor does it make any sense emotionally. It has no validity. That's why you didn't find what you were looking for earlier. You have preconceived rules about who you even allow to say "Hi". Judging someone for something Plenty of Fish categorized not us. I personally don't like one night stands and I have never looked for one. There are no friends with benefits options to click or threesomes or whatever, etc. Spread the word when you understand. There shouldn't be a double standard if we want things equal. If you do not have these stipulations than the above is not meant for you. | |
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| One night stand turns into a many night stand!
Posted: 9/4/2008 5:09:00 PM | Sounds familiar.
Met a great gal, took her back to her apartment, had a one night stand. Then another, then another, 15 years and 2 kids later it didn't end until she passed away.
Don't worry about it. Yes it can be awkward to discuss at times, and you might find yourself set-up for a major heartbreak, but I can only tell you that my experience was the best I've ever had and don't regret a minute.
Sexual compatibility is very important to many couples. If it's working for you two then enjoy and stop stressing. | |
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