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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 2/26/2006 6:42:45 PM |
I have dated a separated guy. And surprisingly, he actually got divorced 6 months after I ended it with him because he kept going back to her every time she beckoned, I was scared if I continued, I'd end up loving him and being the 'other woman', LOL...I was mistaken!! . (After 5 or 6 times of being cast aside for HER I ended it, I was starting to care.) He is now happily remarried to a nurse (like me) and I still wonder to this day, and believe, had I not ended it, we'd be happily married to each other.
I wonder how many times he'll  from the next one(s) back to his new wife???
History has a way of repeating itself...
If I was you I would concider myself lucky? Maybe? Think? But only you will really know  | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 2/26/2006 9:43:19 PM |
Wow - I didn't realize there was such a stigma to being "separated".
I didn't until I started here and I had one person refuse to review my profile on "ethical" grounds. I went what? excuse me....in her opinion I wasn't allowed to date because I was seperated. Well it turns out she was never married and its easy for single people to develop these opinions.
The truth is being seperated isn't the issue...the issue is being recently out of a LTR regardless of marital contract status. Anyone should be worried about rebound relationships...I sure am that is why I choose not to date....Yet! | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/12/2006 12:39:09 AM | NO, STAY AWAY, FAR FAR AWAY....
DON'T DO IT. SEPARATED PEOPLE HAVE COOTIES.........
If dating is going to be this complicated, I don't need it.
I think I am going to start a new thread to address important issues like:
Why I think my cat is gay.
Jobs not to put on the resume (Fudge Packer).
Where the white in the snow goes when it melts.
Duhhhhh!!!!
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exman
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Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 108 | |
| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/12/2006 4:23:10 AM | | I'm not sure that I would equate "single" or "divorced" with being a "good guy". I think that each individual must be judged on his/her merits. I have been seperated for 4 1/2 years. There is no chance or reconciliation, nor is there any desire for such an even. To my way of thinking, divorce is simply a legal process enacted to allow the divorced parties to remarry or to have the courts oversee the equitable distribution of assets or support issues. I have managed to settle all outsatnding issues with my ex, without unecessarily enriching the coffers of the legal profession. | |
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Dru
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 110 | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 8/3/2006 7:56:20 PM | | My suggestions would be to avoid them like the plague. Depending on how long they were married, oh excuse me they are still married. So anyway as I was saying depending on longevity, and how intricate the finances, and whether there are any children involved, it could take 4-5 yrs to get their act together. Now if someone has only been married for say 6 month, and has no kids, and their finances are gonna be left intact, that might be a different story. Just my opinion, but I have read alot of research that has helped me come to this opinion. I wish you well, seems like with your profile, and pics you should be able to find quality match that isnt married. Seperated is married. It is a word to make it sound more acceptable. | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 8/3/2006 7:57:07 PM | | I don't know but I would be careful until things are legal and final. I know 1 looser that is married lives part time with his wife and part time with his girlfriend. Does not work or help pay anything either place, much less support his kids. He threatens them both he will kill someone they love if they leave him, and has a profile on another dating site looking for another women and lists himself as a divorced construction worker. There are definately some real loosers out there and they know how to play the games. | |
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mizbex
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Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 114 | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 8/8/2006 10:55:18 AM | | Each case is different. Separated means that are probably kids involved and that the divorce isn't through yet so there may be lingering issues. The question is:can you deal with the issues on the table? i.e. their kid situation, money situation, etc. If you can, great. If not, be honest and move on. The best bet is to find a separated person who has similar circumstances (re kids etc.) to yourself. | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 8/8/2006 1:19:56 PM | I think every situation is different. It depends on the circumstances that ended the marriage, how each person felt about it, and what issues they still have that keep them in contact. I'm separated, we have kids (so we talk occasionally) - but there's no way in h*ll I'm ever going back to him. The divorce is just waiting on paperwork, time, and money.
What makes a separated person any more likely to return to an ex, than someone who came out of a 5 or 10 year relationship, where they were living together - everything except the piece of paper that said they were married? Nothing at all. You take a chance, either way. Look at how long they've been separated, and their attitude towards the ex, and that is what should decide if you want to pursue something with them.
Here's a hint: If they cut the ex down constantly - they aren't over the breakup and you are a rebound. If they spend time wondering what the ex is up to (and probably talking to you about it), they still have feelings for their ex. If they consider the ex to be just another person who happens to have a connection to their past, and don't spend time agonizing over his/her life - consider it a green light. | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 8/8/2006 1:32:47 PM | | I SOMETIMES THINK PEOPLE DO NOT USE THEIR BRAINS. WHEN A MAN LEAVES A WOMAN AFTER MANY YEARS AND GOES TO ANOTHER PART OF THE COUNTRY, IT IS NOT A CASUAL EVENT. THE MARRIAGE IS OVER!!!!! OVER!!!!! I GUESS EACH CASE IS DIFFERENT, BUT I KNOW FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, THAT ONCE I CUT MY EMOTIONAL TIES WITH A WOMAN, IT IS OVER. ENOUGH SAID. | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 8/8/2006 1:33:51 PM | I personally don't like dating separated people.
Call it selfish/greedy or whatever but I prefer to date co-joined siamese twins. Maybe cause it's like having a threesome. And besides, I relish all the looks that you get from strangers in public. I think it's because they're jealous.
So yeah, no dating separated individuals for me...
BB | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 8/8/2006 1:41:38 PM | Absolutely Not! They are still married. (It is technically, Cheating) If they want to date ...and it's really over they should file the divorce papers. Why do they still have to think about it? Just Do it. Start with a clean slate.
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 8/8/2006 1:53:49 PM | Oh My Frigging god.
Not another separated thread. GEESH. For all you narrow minded bitter, Yea thats right BITTER, JADED tunnel visioned can't see past your nose people. GIVE ME A BREAK. Each situation LIKE each individual is different.
Maybe this will help. Joe or Jane doe tells you he/she is single........ Well whadya know. As it turns out he/she lied. GO FIGURE. Guess ya can't date people who say they are single either???? | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 8/8/2006 2:13:50 PM | Yea as a matter of fact I do Nuthafish. I guess the thousands I paid for that doesn't mean squat???? Where the hall is thas tequila bottle. Gimme that.
Oh great another ignorant one. Will wonders never cease. A pond of ignoramouses.
Damn I need anoosher bootle. hIC. :p | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 8/8/2006 3:24:47 PM | I lovingly refer to most separated men as "dating biohazard."  Especially if their wife left them and/or cheated. I have read, and seen in action, that divorce is like death and you have the seven stages of grief to go through. Therefore, most separated men have alot of crap to work out and alot of issues to resolve. They're up, they're down; it's an emotional roller coaster.
However, me and my single girls have found that if a man is separated, doesn't seem to be bitter about it, wants his wife to be happy, and is in a good place and ready to move on, then it can be good. And girls, we are pretty intuitive and can ususally tell by talking to a separated man where he is at by how he refers to his wife, the names he calls her and even the tone of his voice.
I have gone out with 2 separated men. One wasn't bitter and we had a great relationship. It ended but not because of his wife. Although she would call alot initially when we were together. It didn't bother me, but some women it might.
The second one was dating biohazard. God love him. lol He was extremely bitter, and angry and just oh too much work. We ended a few months ago but have remained friends. Guess what? He still wants her head on a platter, is angry and lets these two things dominate his life. There just isn't any other room in his life for anything but these negative emotions.
Point is, if you feel a good click and want to pursue it, try to gauge where he is at. And if you decide to go for it, just keep in mind that he probably still has alot to go through. You need to decide if you are up for the challenge.
 and happy  | |
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