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lxboy
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Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 126 | |
| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/10/2007 2:12:26 PM | I am a separated man. Habitation wise for about 4 months now. Relationship wise for close to two years. The last year and a half of my marriage was spent living in the same space as someone from whom I felt miles apart. And for the last six months of it I was working out of town, only home an average of one week a month. My ex and I have not been in love for close to two years now, although we do still have feelings for each other. I still care about how she is doing, and want her to be happy, it's hard not to after being with someone for 8 years. But do I, will I, spend my days trying to please her, make her happy? The simple answer is no.
As a separated man, I feel like there is just as much chance of a single person being a disappointment as there is of me being one. We are all people living in this world, and I don't believe you can tell how you will interact with someone based on one fact about them. Yes, a person's marital/relationship status affects many areas of his/her life, but I think you still need to take the time to get to know them for who they are before you decide they are not for you. Deciding that based on the label of "separated" is premature and immature IMHO. Of course, if there is no interest regardless of the status, then no harm no foul. Everyone has the right to not be interested in someone else. I just don't think that the status card is the right tool for that decision.
Stay positive people, and just remember, Karma is real!
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/10/2007 4:29:50 PM | YES !!!!!!!!!!!!! DON"T DO IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ever heard of a REBOUND ????
EVER HEARD OF A LYING SACK OF $#IT ?????? It's one of THE BIG lies.
1. The check is in the mail.
2. I love you.
3. I won't @um in your mouth.
4. I'm married but going through a divorce.
People need to get over their divorce. The LAST thing they need to do is start dating anyone. Men are notorious for lying about "being separated", and ANYONE who believes the story of, I can't post my picture, but I'll be happy to email you one, is an FOOL. They don't post their picture because they are MARRIED and LYING about it.
Even if a person is legitimately going through a divorce, they need to do an autopsy of their marriage and their relationship. They need counseling. They need time alone. They need space to think and learn about what happened and WHY. HINT HINT, if they say their spouse cheated on them, that's NOT the reason why they're getting a divorce. Yes, cheating hurts and breaking trust is VERY difficult to get over, but it's NOT a reason for a divorce. SOMETHING ELSE led to the cheating. Whether it's lack of communication skills, immaturity, drug use, alcohol use, whatever, they need to be at peace with the divorce and the settlement. RED FLAG ***** If they are still ****ing about the ex, what they're doing, what they did to them in the marriage, what they got in the divorce, they are NOT ready to be dating ANYONE let alone YOU. GET OUT. Don't try the...........I'll be your FRIEND BULL$#HIT. They're looking for sex, whether it's a pity lay or what. RUN !!!!!! do not walk to the nearest exit. NEVER, EVER EVER EVER date a married person. PERIOD !!!! No matter what they say.
I can say this both from experience and as a medical professional who has done a TON of counseling of divorcing couples. There will be plenty of time for dating later. While they are married and going through a divorce is NOT the time. | |
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lxboy
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Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 130 | |
| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/10/2007 10:04:16 PM | IMaPA, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You summed up my entire life, and my whole relationship with my ex, and exactly what I'm going through, and what I need. And you haven't even met me or talked to me once. Truly amazing. Thank you so much, now I see the light.
I can go on with my life now, as I know who to turn to when I have a question about my life that I need answered. | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/10/2007 10:28:25 PM | Unquestionably N.
I feel msg.#4 reflects how I feel on this and why . I once was fooled by a seperated guy that claimed to be divorced initially and that was a MESS to say the least, happier it is all behind me and fortunate that was years ago and not repeated since. I also dated a man or two before that was "newly divorced". They weren't emotionally ready for someone new and fooled themself most to say that they were.
I also feel that msg.#129 makes a point that is important to remember most in the LAST paragraph they wrote. That seems to sum it up effectively also. (I did not read all the posts here as 6 pages this far is alot to go through but these two that I did see stood out to me as I could relate in what I lived through in the past concerning this. I say NEVER again. The investment and the risk are NOT worth it for any reason.) | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/10/2007 11:15:52 PM |
NAY to dating separated's. Just my opinion, but you have to finish one chapter before you move on to the next!
I had a rule, I wouldn't date anyone who wasn't separated for at least 2 years.
1st--Finishing one chapter before moving on to the next? Since when does "dating" imply that the person wants a long term relationship or any kind of relationship for that matter.
There are alot of "singles" here that have no desire for an LTR and thus are ONLY interested in dating, so why should people that are separated be held to a higher standard? What about singles that came out of a long term relationship recently should they have to wait several years in order for it to be acceptable for them to "move on"?
2nd--The vast majority of separated people do not return to their spouses. In fact, those cases are in the tiny minority. It takes two people to make a marriage work. The fact that one separated spouse may still have a "thing" for their formerly significant other in no way implies that the other will take her/him back. And while I agree that a married man/woman that still has a "thing" for their spouse is clearly not ready to be involved in a relationship, the same can be said about a single person that still has a "thing" for a former girlfriend/boyfriend.
3rd--Separated people have feelings, and needs just like anyone else. The fact that it takes, in some states, years to get a divorce should not be held against the individual.
Also, "legal separation" is not permissible in all states. In my state (Texas) there is no such thing as legally separated despite there being "physical" separation. Therefore, the couple has no choice but to wait till the actual divorce decree comes through. Which as everyone knows, can take as little as a few months to as long as 2+ years.
What is a separated person to do in this case? Achieve Nirvana by not having any type of contact with another human being for several years? Become a monk/nun?
Join the local chapter of "Celibates R US"? ROFL.
And for what? So that a single person can feel secure in their mistaken belief that there's no way the person would go back to the spouse since there is now a divorce decree? NEWSFLASH divorced people sometimes remarry each other. Just ask my aunt who divorced and remarried my uncle not once but three times!
While this is unlikely, so is the chance that a separated person would return to their spouse. It just doesn't happen frequently. By the time a person has separated a lot has happened in their marriage. Thus separation is the first step in "moving on".
4th-There are men and women that will LIE about their marital status and just about everything else. Just like there are single people that will LIE about having ended their previous LTR when in fact they are still involved.
5th--My grandmother was separated from my grandfather for about 8 years before they divorced. In that "separation" time he became involved with a woman 30 years younger than him and had 4 kids with her. Does this mean that my grandmama would have absolutely no right to ever enjoy the company of another man in those 8 years that my grandpa was reproducing with a young'en female?
The point i am making with all this is that you should consider the individual and their situtation on a case by case basis. Instead of just lumping us all in the same category and characterizing us as some sort of "Lepers" to stay away from. | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/10/2007 11:57:45 PM | Ixboy I highly doubt that IMaPA is a LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor), MFT (Marriage and Family Therapist) or an LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker).
The fact that he mentions doing "counseling" means absolutely nothing since ANYONE can say they are a counselor. This term is not regulated in most states.
By his user ID i would venture to say that he is a PA (Physician's Assistant). Last time i checked PA's weren't qualified or licensed in most states to provide Psychological counseling or Marriage and Family therapy for that matter.
What he fails to remember that the first mantra of patient care is
"FIRST, DO NO HARM".
By his merely stepping into the shoes of a qualified LICENSED professional counselor/therapist/psychologist and offering his version of what amounts to "pop psychology" he is doing more harm than good.
His suggestion that all married people regardless of separation/divorce status are in need of counseling, and heavy introspection to deal with issues of anger or other 'baggage' is indicative of STEREOTYPICAL analysis rather than INDIVIDUALIZED case by case management. In otherwords, his quick jump into judging all couples as somehow being in the same situation and needing the same thing is indicative of lack of training required to properly assess and therefore provide appropriate therapy IF NEEDED to the couple/individual in question.
ImaPA --i suggest you stick to MEDICAL dx rather than PSychological ones. Afterall, the $cost$ for stepping out of the bounds of your PA license can be a hefty one.
If by any chance you are a LCSW, LPC, LMFT or a Psychologist then i strongly suggest you re-evaluate your theoretical paradigm or framework from which you are basing your therapeudic modality.
Oh by the way did i mention that my degree is in Psychology? Yeah , I'll be hanging my shingle up tomorrow. LOL. | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/11/2007 12:12:29 AM | My advice???....DO NOT date anyone who is seperated,split up,about to be divorced,working on a divorce,wants to be divorced....or cannot say to you 100% absolutely and positively that they are SINGLE!!!!!!
From my experience......they will suck the life out of you and take your belongings "on loan" and NEVER give them back and then go back to the loser they left and tell you goodbye.!!!!
Just stay the hell away from these "undecided" people until they have been "unattached" and on their own for at LEAST 3 years....or you will regret.
as I have the last 3 times.
SINGLE women only please.......I don't have many possesions left to lose.
Thank you. | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/11/2007 12:36:51 AM | I can say that I've been there and I'm not so much as bitter about him emailing me the goodbye letter and posting a new profile within a day or two (or probably before) hitting send, as I am about losing a great friend. Well, what I thought was a great friend.
Wife had left him and he had told me that it had been at least three months that he had been separated but because she was in the film industry and travelled so much, he had basically been living on his own for over a year when we met. (Lie number one that came out months later, by accident). Turns out she had just come back from a pleasure trip of her own and broke the news and he turned to the site for solace. So, in actuality we met each other within a week of their ending their 13yr relationship/marriage.
So I became his friend, shoulder and therapist. Not that it was a bad thing but it became a trainwreck of a situation. Him always telling me that he was over her and that I kept bringing her up in conversation and the underlying anger that he had inside of him. Initially, we were just friends for about two months. But someone just out of marriage or separation will lavish you with love and affection, like you won't believe. Eventually, it wears off and you'll be left wondering whom you're with. After about two months, the lines got a little blurry (which is where I really wish they wouldn't have). He really needed a close friend to help him through things instead of helping him to just replace a void where she once was. (I don't think he was trying to replace me with her, don't get me wrong. But I was definitely a rebound). And as much as we do or did have in common, we'll never be friends again. Too many lies to hide the past from me, for what reason - I'm still not sure.
But one thing is for sure, there's definite healing to go through - it's normal. (It's normal for any relationship that you shared with another). Especially when you've grown with another for so many years, how can you just end it and not expect to feel hurt and all kinds of emotions? It's not possible.
I hate to use the term baggage but in a way after we've all had relationships and pasts, we all have baggage. But jumping from one relationship such as a marriage or long term relationship will take someone time to heal and learn to live by themselves and get to know themselves again. (And I've definitely learned that some will use creative stories to make it sound like they're ready to be back on the dating scene. But once you get involved, you'll know if they are or not - watch their actions. If you find that you're being blamed for everything or there's arguments or fights over things such as "no I didn't say that about my wife....or, you brought her up this time..." You're more than likely not losing your mind, it's time to do a check and realize that it's too early. Unless you're a jealous person and you're trying to push for too much too soon with this person.
But for me, almost a year in (don't know how), the email came after spending the night and after signing in one night to wander around the site - guess who's face I saw? He was already on and had been for awhile - it was easy to tell by the number of favourites. (We're all not stupid here). And within about two weeks of dropping me - he's hooked up and in another relationship but was still surfing for others while they had both decided to take their profiles down. (He was just hidden).
So what have I learned?
Someone just out of marriage or separation will lavish you with love and affection, like you won't believe. But eventually, it wears off and you'll be left wondering who you're with.
Also,
If you don't give yourself time to heal - you're just going to keep doing the same thing over and over. Looking for the next person to fill any and all voids that are still left over.
Sorry to lose a friend but he never knew me and I obviously never knew him. I feel pity for him because he won't get help, he'll just keep using women until he finds himself in the reverse situation, a loveless marriage or worse, gets someone pregnant.
Wish all the best but I mean this because it did hurt to come out of that situation - look out for yourself or you could be the heartbroken one next. (And it's one of the worst feelings). | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/11/2007 12:48:53 AM |
Don't ya love it?????
What does the term "legally separated" actually mean?
Any thoughts on that?
Nuthafish...
Legally separated means nothing. There are no papers to fill out or file with the courts, as I saw my now ex go through the whole process of his divorce with his wife. (Well, actually he did it all on his own while she was off with her new boyfriend). All that has to be proven is that one year has passed and the two have been living separately for an uncontested divorce. If it's contested, then paperwork such as rent receipts or separate bills will need to be provided to prove that they were at separate residences or in the case of the one that doesn't want to divorce, then both names have to be on the bills or prove that both were in the same residence within the year.
So you can check the Law Courts site for BC over and over...there is no paperwork to file for separating legally. Nothing is legal until the big D is finally taken care of. There are forms and kits at bookstores that will sell you "legal separation" kits but they also sell you "do it yourself divorce kits" and they're not up to date and they'll make you redo the forms with the proper ones that have to be picked up at the Law Courts.
Help ya' out? | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/11/2007 1:27:47 AM | I agree with what u say, my ex (separated) left me at xmas, I mourned the loss for a month and then saw that there was more to life than misery. so i am looking for a new soulmate.
People have affairs with married partners as I found out so why have u lot got against separated . I agree in some instances it can be dodgy but that could happen in any circumstances. I would not letanyone I meet down by allowing my Ex to come back. Like most parents I have kids to think of and they are the important part of any new relationship. So take me as I am
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/11/2007 12:55:20 PM | Just stay the hell away from these "undecided" people until they have been "unattached" and on their own for at LEAST 3 years....or you will regret.
as I have the last 3 times. SINGLE women only please.......I don't have many possesions left to lose.
40inmarch-
2 years, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years WFT????
Are all of us doomed to spend YEARS ALONE so that you and other singles can feel more "comfortable"? More secure in the mistaken knowledge that if a man/woman somehow spent 3+ years alone they are more likely to be loyal and stay with you?
What makes you think that a timeline you set is going to make a woman more liable to be loyal to you? What makes you think that a single woman wont be just as likely to take your belongings and run?
Have you stopped to consider that if she truly cared about you she would stick around?
Have you stopped to consider that maybe she/they did not develop the same feelings/attraction toward you as you with them?
What makes you think that all women that are separated are in the exact same situation of mourning, anger, unresolved marital issues etc?
This stereotyping is absolutely uncalled for.
The fact that you happen to come across 3 women that were lacking in CHARACTER in no way is representative of the rest of us out there.
I am getting a divorce. Other than for paperwork involved (uncontested since its an AMIABLE divorce) i have no other unresolved issues. Oh wait --yes I have one whether or not to take the espresso coffee maker with me. LOL
If you offered me a million dollars not to divorce i would pass on it. Meaning, there is absolutely NO GOING BACK for me. I have never felt as free and liberated in my life in that knowledge. In fact even my soon to be ex husband's girlfriend knows there's no going back for us. I even purchased a pretty set of earrings for him to give to her.
Case in point, the fact that there are a few separated JERKS out there that insist on lying and taking advantage of people should in no way be representative of the rest of us.
What you are talking about here is not so much their separated status but their CHARACTER. You and others had the unfortunate experience of coming across people who clearly LACKED IN CHARACTER regardless of marital status.
Do you think that once divorced somehow these men/women would magically gain something by way of decency, integrity or character? If they walked out on you with your things while they were still married, they are just as likely to have walked out on you being single. THis is a question of CHARACTER not their marital status. | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/12/2007 12:05:43 PM | The 3 years mentioned of prior is the "golden rule" for a wise time to start to approach someone to date that has been recently divorced. It is proven too many times in studies that typically newly divorced people need the 3-5 year span to readjust to living for themself and rebuilding their life. It does not have to do with faithfulness and it does not have to do with moving on in the physical sense but to give one's self space first emotionally from the reason for the divorce in what issues led up to it, any hostililty from this that surfaces as the wound of it may be fresh for at least one partner in less than that time.
The statistics I mention of are from divorce support groups. There are also articles and /or self help books on life after divorce listing such as well. They say that divorce is the second hardest thing for someone to confront next to the death of a spouse.
The time of at least 3 years is to avoid having someone come along that is not emotionally able to move on sooner. When someone spends a good amount of time with another person in a marriage this is going to be a part of their past and they need to confront and put at rest any factors in that to avoid having that carry into their new relationship after divorce. The standard is reported to be to give one's self a month for each year to avoid dating entirely as well. There has been shown that people that give themself some breathing space first do themself and their new partner a big favor to have cleared their head first in dating so to speak. IF one has kids involved the divorce issues are increased and can be like a roller coaster ride with ups and downs. It can go along fine and then the ex can get issues about the kids and back to court they go, etc.
I for one do not feel it is fair to the new person to have the new divorce issues so fresh and they do not see ahead what they are walking into then. I have been there and done that with a few exs to speak from the recieving side of new divorced dating and their doing that too soon was never worth the grief I felt subjected to then. I recall telling one I was looking to date someone then not be their counselor or substitute spouse. I've seen my share of newly divorced men (even one just seperated once) and they were just too confused in what they wanted early on. They said they wanted to be with someone again but they SHOULD just seek casual dating at first and not any LTR offer. | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/12/2007 1:27:47 PM | | i was as honest as i could be in my profile when i filled it out. i am separated for seven+ months now and have had very few hits on my profile. it stinks, but i understand why. at least i think i do. i would'nt hesitate going out with a separated woman at this time. we'd have so much in common to talk about. lol | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/12/2007 1:28:13 PM | | i was as honest as i could be in my profile when i filled it out. i am separated for seven+ months now and have had very few hits on my profile. it stinks, but i understand why. at least i think i do. i would'nt hesitate going out with a separated woman at this time. we'd have so much in common to talk about. lol | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/12/2007 2:36:13 PM | Anenigma,
Separated= still married and trying to work out problems.
Based on your profile, there will be million guys chasing you. Hey, you're funny, witty and caring. You can pick and choose and probably end up with a perfect soul mate. There is no reason for looking back and second-guessing. | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:30:17 PM | Loyal-- what studies exactly are you referring to? The unscientifically based ones done by support groups?
Lets take a look at the representative sample shall we?
First, the population sample that these "few" studies are based on is SMALL. In other words, only a tiny minority of the population, namely those in counseling, was considered. Statistics 101.
Second, the sample is based entirely on people that are IN SUPPORT GROUPS. Why are they in a support group? Because they need HELP, COUNSELING in dealing with their unresolved issues. Naturally, there is going to be a wider gap reported in HEALING time. Because afterall the studies are based on people IN COUNSELING.
It completely negates the rest of the population that isnt in counseling. It completely ignores the rest of the Divorced population that has not sought out help because they have already resolved their "issues"ON THEIR OWN.
Third, I read a significant amount of material on relationships and divorce. I have yet to find more than a "handful" of articles that makes mention of waiting upwards of 3 years. And these were "ARTICLES" based on POP Psychology. In other words, not based on clinical scientific research but rather OBSERVATIONS of couples in counseling.
They were based on what's known as a CLINICAL THEORY. In other words, you take two people that are in counseling and apply what you learned from those two people to the rest of the world. Hence, no credible and controlled scientific research was conducted other than for CLINICAL OBSERVATION. Therefore, the BELIEF that a divorcing couple should wait upwards of 3 years before dating is just that simply a BELIEF held by SOME clinicians that have simply made an OBSERVATION based on their TINY SAMPLE of clients.
Now, in no way am I suggesting that if a person has UNRESOLVED ISSUES they should jump into another relationship. Of course not. This applies to single people as well that came out of long term relationships. NO ONE whether married or single should jump into another relationship with emotional baggage.
But at the the same time to stereotype ALL married couples as being in the same situation and therefore needing the same things--namely counseling and 3+years of "introspection" because of the suggestions of a SMALL number of therapists or the bad experiences that some single people have had with divorcing boyfriend/girlfriend, is not only ludicrous but highly uncalled for.
It's just as ludicrous as telling someone they need a "specified" time to grieve over the death of a loved one. Since grieving times are different for different people.
Some are ready to move on in a few months, others are ready to move on with their lives in a year or longer. Different times for different people.
We are not all in the same boat.
Furthermore, there are divorces that are Mutual and Amiable. In other words, there's no war going on and the divorced couples have remained friends.
This is the case with myself and my soon to be ex.
Our marriage ran it's course, we grew apart, we fell out of love. End of story.
IT HAPPENS.
Now to attempt to DRAG things out and make more out of it than there's actually there does more emotional harm than good.
If i were to decide to take 3 years from coming into contact with another man in a dating situation, so that i can DWELL and try to nit pick things that went wrong in my marriage, that would do me alot more emotional harm than good.
Someone can literally drive themselves crazy trying to figure out every little thing that happened that could have negatively impacted the marriage.
That is not to say that we both have not already done a significant amount of reading, introspection and had discussions as to what went wrong, because we have. And it's now over and done with. I for one am not going to continue beating a dead horse for the next three years by "mulling over" my feelings.
The same is true for many couples out there. They faced their divorce "issues" before and during the divorce and are ready to move on with their lives once they sign that dotted line. | |
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lxboy
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Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 146 | |
| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/12/2007 7:53:42 PM | Stargategirl,
Your posts are a delight to read. Intelligent, and well written, and you are able to do it without coming off as argumentative or nasty. Kudos to you.
My two cents (anyone ever wonder why it's only a penny for someone's thoughts, but when you offer an opinion it's two cents?), does anybody on this site know two people or two couples that are exactly alike? Anyone?????? Well then, how can you say that every couple, whether married or just long term, needs the same amount of time after separating to be ready to get back out into the dating world? Like stargate said, the grieving process is different for everyone, and some people will heal faster than others. Also, every divorce/separation is different, some amicable (although there are none that are completely without conflict), and some all out wars, and then the majority which are somewhere in between. The whole idea, as I think it should be with single people too, is to take each one on a case by case basis.
I'm not trying to change anyone here, I firmly believe that the only person you can change is yourself. I am however asking all those who flat out say no to someone who is separated to give it some thought, and maybe consider the possibility that they might be missing out on something wonderful by excluding people based on one fact about them.
Of course, it's up to you in the end, and as I have said before (in a different thread), if someone told me that they didn't want to even consider getting to know me because of my marital status, then that person is not the one for me anyway, so, no love lost.
"If you need proof that intelligent life exists in Outer Space, consider the fact that they've never been to visit this planet" Anonymous  | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/12/2007 8:39:36 PM | Funny how it seems that no one has noticed that women always seem to be "freinds" with as many of their ex's as they can still get attention from?
Far as I am concerned, an ex is an ex and there is always damned good reason to stay well away from them..
Counselling and such is not neccesary, just move on and get on with life and try to imagine that they are not all the same.. | |
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| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/13/2007 11:56:23 AM | "Your posts are a delight to read. Intelligent, and well written, and you are able to do it without coming off as argumentative or nasty. Kudos to you." amen on that one lxboy
Stargate can be my lawyer anyday.... Come defend me in court and give me mouth to mouth baby. lol :-) Yes I am the 100th father of Anna Nicoles baby | |
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laus
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Joined: 12/23/2006
Msg: 149 | |
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laus
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Joined: 12/23/2006
Msg: 150 | |
| Anyone have any good advice for dating SEPARATED people? Y or N?
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:30:42 PM | Every situation is unique. It's probably best not to generalize about where someone will be because of that. However, there are certain stages that most separated people go through - and they will go through them - so be aware.
I general, there seem to be a lot of judgements being made about 'separated' people. Whether you realize it or not, most people that have been through that situation are probably much more self-aware and wise about love than those that have not. Once they have healed somewhat, anyway. So, don't be too quick to judge...you may find in time that they have much more to offer than many, and much more genuinely, too. | |
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