| I Need to Know IF What I did is worth what happened to me
Posted: 2/9/2006 6:10:51 PM |
I have no complaints about his "objectionable" outlook, but I did find this snippy comment mildly offensive.
Maybe if it were addressed to you, you could have found it offensive. It was not addressed to you though, and was in fun - as he obviously recognized since he passed it right by. Must be one of those man/woman humor disconnects. ;) | |
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| I Need to Know IF What I did is worth what happened to me
Posted: 2/9/2006 6:13:11 PM | | No for one reason your either heart broken and looking for what you thought you were missing or two you are alone and you felt like you really needed that warm body to hold you once again. Having someone tell you they love you is a strong word that goes straight to the heart and either it will hurt you or kill you in time. I been there alot. Having sex on the first day is and always be a sign of disaster and saying I love you after having sex is another way of not having else to say. Never have sex until 1 or 2 weeks later if you plan on having any serious relationship. | |
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| I Need to Know IF What I did is worth what happened to me
Posted: 2/9/2006 6:13:25 PM | you saw all the signs but it wasnt your fault.. you did nothing wrong but why set him up.. I f you drive yourself crazy/waste good energy that you need planning on setting them up and then blame them.. As soon as you thought about posting a site to trap him you should have ended it right there.. Good luck  | |
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| I Need to Know IF What I did is worth what happened to me
Posted: 2/9/2006 6:15:47 PM |
Having sex on the first day is and always be a sign of disaster...
Right now we're only speculating that it was on the first day, which was my point before. It reads that way, but since the timeline isn't really defined, that may not be how it unfolded. | |
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| I Need to Know IF What I did is worth what happened to me
Posted: 2/9/2006 6:37:22 PM | Amen to that.
I was raised to be nice to people. It is a continuous struggle to not be seen as "desperate" or "co-dependent", just because I choose to not be "jaded" or "bitter".
When we choose to trust people, we get hurt. We just have to accept that.
If we "protect" ourselves from everyone, we become paranoid.
That's my experience, anyway.
The world is full of jerks. If your values tell you to be generous and kind, good luck and God bless you. If your values say "don't trust", good luck and God bless you.
Thanks for your time. | |
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fnlv
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Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 36 | |
| I Need to Know IF What I did is worth what happened to me
Posted: 2/9/2006 6:46:52 PM | STUPID GIRL!!! Seek treatment and move on.
It is girls like you that think men can treat us women like dirt!!!!!!!!!
Don't be so desperate.
And YES, you DESERVED IT. Doormat. That $200.00 could have went to your beautiful children. So, if you are looking for confirmation of your actions, well. It's tough love baby!
Better luck next time, and wait for the right one to come along.
That's it and that's all.  | |
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| I Need to Know IF What I did is worth what happened to me
Posted: 2/9/2006 7:05:06 PM | You began from a place of kindness, compassion and caring. He trampled on you. His behaviour brought out the worst in you. It's obvious from your post you are kicking yourself because you acted in a way you would not normally. Being lied to and taken advantage of ... I think 'conned' is the word, tends to do that. Of course, being in a vulnerable position in the first place made it easier for him, and more likely you would act out of character.
Be thankful he is NO LONGER in your life.
You will move on, but you have to forgive yourself for your actions, first. Be gentle with yourself, and do better next time. Clarify your fundamental values, then stick with them. Don't let this guy take up anymore space in your head.
Good luck. | |
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| I Need to Know IF What I did is worth what happened to me
Posted: 2/9/2006 7:13:05 PM | Well... I'm going to completely side with Blade on this one. NJ did what she did out of caring and a good heart.
She is being true to herself, though girl... please be careful down the road..k? I don't personally think it's a bad thing being giving and nurturing but many men would just love to take advantage and punt you to the curb after they use you up.
Of course if you do suffer with a self-esteem problem hon... you need to sit down and look after yourself first... figure out what your wants and needs are and stand up for yourself. One thing I've learned that strong and mentally healthy women rarely attract problem men. Men that are abusive, users and manipulators tend to seek out women that have low self esteem issues... they are perfect prey, easily dominated. (and why do I know this girlfriend... been there, done that, owned the t-shirt!)
Since then, I've ripped and burned that t-shirt and demand more respect for myself. What an empowering feeling that is!
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| I Need to Know IF What I did is worth what happened to me
Posted: 2/9/2006 7:15:07 PM |
I think 'conned' is the word
To all the posters who think this was a set-up...Are you an idiot?
She gave him $200! You think he seriously laid out his malicious plans to bilk single mothers out of $200? Ahhh, but first he decided to target women who live in a different state because we all know how that makes the heist more successful. I bet after he got that $200 he used it to help by a new identity and he moved off to a foreign land. How dastardly!
Get a clue folks! She got exactly what she deserved. End of story! | |
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| I Need to Know IF What I did is worth what happened to me
Posted: 2/9/2006 7:20:30 PM |
She got exactly what she deserved.
"Deserving" implies that she knew what was going to happen and did it anyway, when in actuality what she got was just a taste of the reality of long-distance internet dating. | |
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| I Need to Know IF What I did is worth what happened to me
Posted: 2/9/2006 7:21:24 PM | Cutie,
It doesn't sound to me like you did anything wrong. Wrong guy is all. I would be thanking my lucky stars that nothing worse occurred. It'd be worth 200 "beans", and a handful of Dvd's. As I like to say..."your loss".
Find another man and try again.
see ya, Bbear211 | |
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| I Need to Know IF What I did is worth what happened to me
Posted: 2/9/2006 7:27:33 PM | Bladeaz, you have gone from sounding naive to sounding naiver (is that a word).
People who write threads like the OP are never in the dark about the answer. They know what idiots they are and they want a threadful of people to say "there, there..it wasn't your fault. You are so special and wonderful and ...puke". This is a self-promotional attempt at self-esteem building, and nothing more.
And, if you disagree, I have this lovely bridge for sale (I keep it in SanFrancisco) at a great price! | |
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Raven1
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Joined: 9/14/2004
Msg: 48 | |
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| I Need to Know IF What I did is worth what happened to me
Posted: 2/9/2006 7:31:27 PM |
People who write threads like the OP are never in the dark about the answer. They know what idiots they are and they want a threadful of people to say "there, there..it wasn't your fault. You are so special and wonderful and ...puke". This is a self-promotional attempt at self-esteem building, and nothing more.
She may know the answers *now* - but she did not *then* and that is the factor that determines whether she deserved it or not.
Sure, she may be looking for some comfort, or maybe a similar experience to draw from and relate to. She got burned and is trying to cope with it. I see nothing wrong with that. | |
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They will make a lovely co-dependent couple.
