| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 7/31/2008 4:57:13 PM | Yes.......this is good about watching for clues that they are "playing" but it is not 100%, I don't think anything really is. However, there are signs that someone is interested in you for more than sex, such as they surprise you with flowers just because, they actually spend time with you and don't try to get you into bed right away; maybe you've met their friends or relatives and you know someone could warn you if that's what they really are about.....clues that things aren't right do include the "booty call" protocol, such as calling you late at night, disappearing from availability to you (out of chat, no response to messages, no recollection that you sent/left them a message, etc). While it really isn't rocket science and most of it is instinct, the smarter you are, the harder the playa has to play his game to get you in the sack! Playas aren't always after a one-nighter, but some are after booty call backup. Speculating on the reasons is a waste of time........I've allowed myself to be disillusioned by one I was pretty attached to, and trust me.......it's not fair! It is, however, a fact of life and a waste of time to be bitter about it......they can't help it because they don't want to do anything about it. That's their choice! What's yours?! Keep your eyes open and trust your intuition. It is that little nagging feeling that you've been dis'd or are being ignored (even sporadically), or the timing is always wrong for you (not for him).
Good luck! There are a LOT of them here, but I believe there are good ones, too! | |
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| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 7/31/2008 5:40:35 PM | Blondiegirl05, You're never gonna know until it's too late or too right. You can't weed out the players no matter how hard you try. You can't weed out people by chattin online or on the phone. Accept it. Move on. Hook up and hope for the best. If it starts to go south, split!
Does anyone really believe they can come on here and weed out all the losers, players, not really interested'ers by chattin? To live is to love and vice versa. You can't live life by sittin home and chattin. Unless sittin home and chattin is the life you wanna live.
Doesn't anyone just ask people for dates anymore? at the grocery store, mall, park, wherever! | |
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| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 7/31/2008 7:25:02 PM | | You answered your own question - men are confusing. I was talking to one guy who was out of the state taking a class and would be back in FL supposedly around now! Called every night, etc., almost like clock work! I don't like thinking of total long-term when you just meet someone naturally, but I do like to think "hey maybe" - then after more in-depth talking - he really is someone who is in one state for so many years or so, then onto the next. His address needs to be penciled in. I asked him what he saw in me - my life is nothing of the sort - his reply "oh, I read your profile and you seemed like such a pretty lady, and nice! Men and women alike sometimes do not know what they want. Men are in general worth it - otherwise we wouldn't be here looking! Trick is to find the right one! So just keep on going - truthfully if they are always walking out the door, etc., then they do not have time for a relationship, etc., so move onto the next! | |
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| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 7/31/2008 8:00:40 PM | One sign a guy isn't as committed as you think is when you realise he knows your life story but you dont know very much about the difficult times in his life except the cold facts.
I used to think blokes in general didn't talk about emotion in a vulnerable way, but now I think most do IF they're serious about you. | |
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| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 9/16/2008 9:00:39 PM | good question, but in a way, very silly
you talk about 'men' like we're another type of organism
we're all people
it's about BSing and/or not following-through on commitments, and shallow social interactions don't exactly bring out a strong 'honour principle' in most guys (depending on alot of factors, such as his wealth, popularity, blood alcohol level, his perception of your social value...)
we are all just people
think of this site as 'free market social interaction with only very mild regulations' | |
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| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 9/16/2008 10:49:36 PM |
i always agree with my partner beforehand, when I know it is a one night stand, so there are no false expectations ..
why not say to the guy, "you know, this is just for one night", and if he eagerly agrees, then you know he is willing to settle for just one night with you, and you can choose to stay or walk away - if he objects, then maybe he wants you for more than one night ..
If a woman says that to a guy, I think that most guys will assume she's a slut. I doubt that there are many guys who would want a relationship with a woman who is telling the man that she only wants him for one night. | |
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| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 9/17/2008 8:00:15 AM | | Sex has nothing to do with reward or punishment. I has to do with this. A man has to "pursue" a woman. He has to feel a need to "win her over". Give him a chance to do this, because this is how men fall in love. They have a need to chase, and win. Once you have sex, the equation changes. So, you have to give the man enough time, in order for him to feel as if "he has won a grand prize". It is a mistake to give up the ACE OF SPADES right away. If you give sex too soon, you will extinguish the FIRE OF PURSUIT he has for you, and he will look at other women, because he will attracted to them, and not you. It is all about ATTRACTION. It is easy to give sex away, but once you do this too soon, the man will lose all attraction for you. | |
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Kra961
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Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 186 | |
| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 9/17/2008 8:09:19 AM | To the OP
Just a thought but maybe just maybe they saw a red flag and walked away. Men that want a real relationship are just as likely to walk away if they perceive a problem in the making.
What is with this assumption that the only thing men want is sex?? I mean really do you really think you're all that?
Ladies I'm sorry to say that most men place a far great emphasis on the mental make up of the women then sex. While sex is nice its only a very small part of the overall picture for what men are looking for especially for men that have been around the block a few times. | |
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| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 9/17/2008 8:20:28 AM | lol..
Basic drive....men are attracted if it stirs their peepee...if not...yawn.......
Basic drive....women know this and if the guy is worth it, they want to get into his head first...
It's not all about the "golden" kitty. It's all about making sure the big heads are on the same table. | |
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| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 9/17/2008 1:26:20 PM | | I strongly believe that most men are not looking for a one night stand... dont confuse that with wanting a relationship... men usually dont turn down a chance of getting laid (same goes for women as well)... and if the experience is good they are usually willing to come back for more... now that may put you in a booty call category and not give you a relationship either... so ask yourself: if i slept with this man and he never called me again would i feel cheap the next day? after all its is all about what YOU want... and if you make a decision based on your wants and needs then you wont have regrets ;) | |
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| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 9/17/2008 2:24:48 PM | KaptainAmericana said:
"Too many women are looking for WAY too much, and it gets tiresome."
After reading this thread I really do believe Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I mean it seems we are so clueless as to what to expect and do with each other. I am no exception. That is why I don't date just hang with people. It is a bit less confusing and they usually come back to hang around some more. I think I have been on one date in my life and the rest of my relationships were either hanging out or just not much of any thing. I have been married twice and have a couple of kids. Get propositioned occasionally but not by anyone I would take them up on it. I haven't bother with any type of opposite relationship in about 15 years. It has been peaceful but I like people and I like guys so I am just started to look around here. Met a couple of people interested in sex on here but I wasn't interested in that so I changed my mail porfile to hang out, friends and such. I took dating off cause I don't date. I just wish to know someone and if in the future we both feel different and would like to make things closer then we would know alot about each other and could go from there. That is how I like to do things. But hey I am actually from Alpha Centeri. :) | |
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zeeba
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Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 191 | |
| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 9/17/2008 2:34:58 PM | OK, here's the thing.
I don't know whether or not I actually want a relationship even after the first date, meeting, whatever...!  So, how in the world could I tell that from a guy?
Shoot, I'd be happy right now if I had a date just to go out, have fun, and enjoy the moment! I truly think that many of us get far too serious, far too fast. Whatever happened just to enjoying the present? Sounds good to this zeeba, anyway! | |
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| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 4/29/2009 10:41:15 AM | If you have sex when you first meet him, it is a one night stand.
Don't wait to see if he will respect you. He wont.
If he is NOT too busy to talk to you again, it is probably to get you back into his bed.
A guy will not have a relationship with a woman that came to easy to him because he probably thinks you would do it with anyone, even if you wouldn't.
Men are not that confusing. Their actions are litteral. We read more into them than we should and confuse the situation by assuming/hoping things which are not true.
If a guy respects you and wants a relationship with you he would not try to have sex with you on the first meeting...period. | |
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| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 4/30/2009 9:54:33 AM | Double Standards are alive and well.....and have been for thousands of years.
Do you think some "off kilter social conditioning" of the last 25 years is going to change something that is old as God?
Men and women ARE different. We are built different physically, mentally and emotionally. Read up on your CURRENT sciences. Be educated.
Don't buy into some 70's -80's IDEALISTIC mantra that is so old now that it has dust bunnies with teeth falling out.
Sex is REALISTIC. The emotions involved, the STDs out there that our "free sex" generation are spawning at a more rapid rate than any other generation.
Get educated.
As for wanting to know if a guy wants a relationship? Just by-pass the ONS...then you will know.
Actions count a helluva lot more than words...Words are cheap. | |
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| how do I tell if a guy wants a relationship or Just a one night stand?
Posted: 4/30/2009 12:30:45 PM | | Basically you have to start doing the talking OP. If you want to find the right man, you have to go out and find one based on your criteria. Since women don't do this you will be ahead of the game. But the best way is to have faith in our Father and pray. Hopefully he will send you someone nice. | |
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