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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 3/2/2006 4:37:56 PM | Kingfisher -- I'm sorry you're feeling neglected. You sound like you need a "chum." I "bait" that would cheer you right up. Your "sole" needs some support to keep you from "flounder"ing. Some people just "skate" by, but more of us want a "manta" be with.
--I've done it now. | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 3/2/2006 4:44:25 PM | Actually, my boots could use some new soles. May help keep me from floundering in all this snow.
I've decided I'm a doorknob and I want my turn! | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 3/2/2006 5:50:47 PM | I live to serve. Please, let me know what you'd like to to do for you...and be specific, even graphic if you must.
If you prefer, you mail email me privately.  | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/1/2006 5:12:13 PM | After reading many of the requests for profiles, I felt this thread needed another round foir those who may have missed it. Here's the OT, by MsAnnThrope:
Everday, I see people endlessly complaining and begging for help reviewing their profiles. "I changed this a million times and you (men/women/rodents) still won't answer my emails!" "OH! People in my town are all such SNOBS!" "What's wrong with (men/women/rodents) anyway?" "Why are people so RUDE?" "But I'm so *NICE*! Why can't I get a DATE?"
Well, babe, it's not your profile, it's YOU. And nine times out of ten, it's because you're a tool. Maybe you can't *help* being a tool, maybe you can, but you surely can't hide it.
Here's my advice: Don't come around asking for advice or searching for reasons or ways to blame others for your unpopularity. Just stand up, go to the mirror, look yourself straight in the eye, and ask yourself, "Dear God! Am *I* a tool?!?"
And don't lie; you probably are or you wouldn't be claiming to be a NICE (guy/gal/etc) who just can't get those MEAN people to appreciate you, answer you, date you, whatever. Face the facts and work on being LESS of a tool, and maybe you'll get somewhere with the opposite sex some day.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. Your thoughts? | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/1/2006 5:43:39 PM | | I think that some people, myself included, just don't know where else to turn to when someone like me has exhausted the medical professionals for help, and nothing seems to work. I want what most people want. To be happy. To be successful, and content with who I am and what I have accomplished in life. When you have depression and anxiety holding you back preventing these simple things from happening like finding "love", and companionship. I want to be happy. I want a girlfriend more than words can say. For me approaching someone who I find even remotely attractive is terrorfying. For most, I would assume that is hard to understand. All I am asking is for some understanding, that not all of us in this world are created the same. Us "tools" want the same thing that we all want, but just don't know how to go about getting it. If it's even possible??? | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/1/2006 5:59:07 PM | I probably won't even get belittled in this thread! Woo hoo!!! I completely gave up on bothering with profile reading here ~ it's pointless. I can't take the negativity, whining, and overall discontent. I do wonder why most are here ~ so many have nothing positive to say. I decided to just skip that and lurk around here in forums. It's less painful.  | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/1/2006 6:05:28 PM | This makes my blood boil  and that is when people ask for advice and out of the goodness of your heart give advice. You get insulted, bad mouthed, and the person gets all defensive. | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/1/2006 6:29:20 PM | I'll agree with MsAnn
A tool can have all the help in the world rewriting his profile, but he (or she) is still a tool.
If you don't get replys to your emails, it's because that person's not interested in you, & rewriting your profile won't make him or her interested in you.
The best profile in the world may not be able to help the person who's email writing ability is maxed out at:
"Hi.   You're hot" | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/1/2006 7:21:10 PM |
P.S. As I'm sure most of you have guessed, I used the term "tool" because I didn't think I'd get away with doucheb*g, d*ckhead, w*nker, dumba$$, a**hole or dipsh*t. Think of the term "tool" as kind of literary device, if you will.
Gabby I hope that answers your question. | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/2/2006 10:47:43 AM |
What's a tool? That's a new expression for me.
I believe it's sarcasm at it's finest. In literal English, a "tool" is an object that's handy or useful. When used as an insult, it's directed at a person who is not. | |
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| No guts, no glory
Posted: 5/2/2006 3:01:48 PM | You say pople aren't responding to your profile? How many have you contacted? I'm not very good looking or rich, and I don't try to hide those facts. But, I do contact (as I'm sure they will testify to) just about every woman in Alaska that I find interesting on this site. Some write back and say "no thanks, your too ugly" or something to that effect, but I get dates too.
The point is I put an effort into finding women that are interested in me just the way I am. I haven't found a "keeper" yet, but I think I will because I am willing to put out the effort. Now, how do I get a woman to STOP calling me without being mean. She has 10 children, treats men with no respect, and lives on welfare (yes I met her here).  | |
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| No guts, no glory
Posted: 5/10/2006 4:34:40 PM | Wishing you luck. Your profile seems ok to me and pic is not optimal, but ok too. Overall, you seem to have a good attitude about the keep on trying thing. Can't accomplish anything if you don't try, right?
As far as the undesirable maximally fertile woman, I would say just be upfront with her (I didn't say hurtful) and tell her that you don't care to have a relationship with her. That means no more calls, please and thank you very much. After that I would block her calls.
I am hesitant to call men when they send their number in response to my profile. I would rather email/chat for a bit and get a better feel for them before they can caller ID me. It's a comfort factor thing for me. I also figure if a guy isn't willing to take/make that small effort to start--afterall, it only costs a little time, then it tells me that he isn't into putting forth the effort a meaningful relationship requires. But that's just me. Smiles. | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/10/2006 5:39:55 PM | New beginnings--
Just curious--
Have you allowed the labels of aniety and depression to paralyze you? Been there myself btw.
My panic attacks ceased when I was born again. I didn't get saved to be rid of them, something led me to attend a church service honoring veterans and made a choice to accept Christ then. The miracle of it was that I have not had one of those terrifying and debillitating attacks in about 13 yrs. May you not find my testimony offensive, but I truly thank God for releasing me from that torment.
Depression is wicked, but there are things you can do with or without pharmacuetical assistance. Exercise every day! Walking costs nothing, doesnt require special equipment and can be done just about anywhere---essentially, no excuses, and if you do it in the morning you boost your metabolic rate for the day AND it increases the levels of serotonin in your brain. You would be surprised at what a 15-20 min brisk walk can do for you.
Next, find something to volunteer time and effort to. Making a commitment forces you to be accountable to people who depend on you to follow thru, whether it be adopting a stretch of highway to unlitter, reading to hospitalized children, raising a puppy to become a service dog, becoming a docent...the list goes on. Doing something takes your mind off your troubles and knowing you bring help/joy to somebody or are making a small difference in this world has positive effects. Not only that, you might meet somebody who has something in common with you. Make a point to start each morning with positive statements. Eg: I am a valuable human being. I have a beautiful smile. I am honest man...whatever fits. basically you give yourself a lil pep talk to begin the day. Another thing to do is to conciously acknowlede, on a daily basis, something you are grateful for...the beautiful scenery on the drive to work, the family you have, to have food in your belly and a roof over your head, having legs that work...whatever fits and you are grateful for at the moment---best is writing it down in a notebook, just before going to sleep. Start the day on a positive note and end it similarly. The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. But...you HAVE to take the first bite and keep on going.
You have to work on you and not expect somebody else to fix or complete you. What you want is within YOU....make the effort to find it. This may sound whacked but bear with me. Try the toastmasters club in your town. It's about giving speeches. Terrifying? Yup...Way up on the stress scale. But, by doing it you can overcome the worst of it and in doing so, boost your self confidence and sense of accomplishment. Self-confidence (not arrogance) is sexy and appealing. Are you getting the connection here?
Finally, "finding" love and companionship ain't so simple. The idea of love, is romantic, the reality of love and companionship is it requires effort--it's not going to knock on your door. It withers like a garden if not tended and nurtured. It takes time.
The things I suggest are NOT hokey. They work. Proven in psychological studies and testimonies abound. But you cant accomplish or achieve if you don't take the bite out of that elephant. Smiles. | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/11/2006 4:57:37 PM | Holy crap, New Beginnings derailed this thread but good! The original thrust of this thread was that a lot of people seem content to blame their lack of significant companionship on things OTHER than themselves -- disregarding their repulsive personalities, entitlement issues, and maladaptive egos, etc.
"Women only want men with money." "Men only like skinny blondes with big tits." Generally speaking, there's some truth to this, but it isn't the whole story. If you're a truly vile human being, you can't expect your in-box to be filled with enticing sexual overtures. It's not your profile, it's because you're a tool. (And yes, Classy and Somewhere both defined that term correctly.)
My take on this question has more to do with the lengths people will go to blame others for theirt own shortcomings. It certainly wasn't intended to be a broken-hearts thread about depression -- there are other threads in other areas for that. | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/20/2006 12:32:20 PM | cuidado llamas--
I beg to differ with you about new beginnings derailing the thread. Like a Robert Ludlum novel, things become convoluted.
Quite simply;
What I comprehend is that nb has issues with depression, and has looked for help in one way by getting help with the profile in hopes to attract the right fish to find happiness. This is a misguided attempt to find a magical fix by looking outside of oneself and relying on smart wordsmithing to reach the goal. My response to nb's post was to suggest 1)introspection 2)practical means to finding happiness within in order to to rely on somebody else to achieve it (the only person who can be responsible for your happiness is yourself) 3)taking corrective action...
Which brings me to this thought...all the clever or smart wordsmithing means diddily if it isn't congruent with behavior, demeanor and actions--basically paraphrasing the key to this thread, its not your profile, it's you. It all ties in, perhaps not so neatly, but a knot none-the less. Smiles. | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/20/2006 4:14:39 PM | I respond to the clever wordsmithing, but then, in e-mails or IM I find the person not so clever. Or the person says *hi* and there's almost nothing in the conversation. It's not that anyone's ugly or boring or a jerk, it's just that the tiny bit required to be outgoing enough present themselves is just too much for them. So they fade away.
I mean what do I do with "Hi.", and nothing else? hand out my phone number? I gave up looking, I gave up on profiles with nothing in them or crybaby 'tudes, and I when I see whiners here I get a little pissy. The same guys who cry about being read/deleted are the same ones who offer nothing worthy of a reply-even though I do-and when I do reply, I get another empty cut and paste letter.
Gini | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/20/2006 7:54:58 PM | | Nah, I'm not talking about those people who don't have the confidence or social skills to adequately interest a member of the opposite sex. I just mean those who are utter douchebags. Those are the tools. | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/20/2006 8:00:41 PM | The art of displacing personal responsibility as blame for others changes from the shape that destroyed the relationship into the shape that prevents the next one from starting. Like a successful virus it is adaptive and survives. And this is not my fault that this happens: you did it! | |
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| It's not your profile, it's....
Posted: 5/22/2006 3:38:35 AM | allow me to expand the advise here so that all bases can be coverd:
i have no money- get a job
i cant find a job- mcdonald's is hiring
i cant get laid- get a playboy and some vasaline
no body like me- who cares
i have 6 kids from different fathers, why do guys think im easy- do i even need to explain this one
i have big tits, wear a push up bra and low cut shirt, why do guys always star at my tits- gee i wonder why
why cant i have nice things in life- get a job and go after it
i wish they would raise minimum wage so i could make more money- why not go get a decent paying job
they wont hire me-get a second job then
why is it all guys think im easy and just want me for sex- because you dress like a cheap whore
i wish i could have a nice new car- than go buy one
my wife wont let me she says im not worth it- than get that little blue pill to help you
i wish i could buy a house- then get off your butt and make it happen.
i wish these stinkin companies would hire me to be a $300,000 a year executive- your 48 and flipping burgers, i bet thats why you cant figure it out eithor.
there i think all bases should now be coverd in this post. if not direct all other whinning and crying to the middle of your closest highway. and yes i have told that to fellow college students, co-workers, freinds, and complete strangers.
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