| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 2/13/2006 11:12:30 AM | | mine is i honestly think they can as well, all through middle school my best friend was a male. I get along better with males ultimetely then i do with females.. | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 2/13/2006 1:51:13 PM | It really depends. I've been dissapointed more than once because I thought I had a great friendship only to find that the person was my friend out of hope for something more.
I always have this little fear when making friends with a guy, what if he wants something more? I hate the thought of hurting anyone's feelings. I tend to get along better with guys as well so its a shame really.
There are usually really good reasons why I won't date my male friends so there is just no chance of it. Like...maybe they lie a lot to their girlfriends and as the 'friend' I get to see that, they are a headcase that's fun to be around but wouldn't date them or they're gay...now that sucks.
Chances are I wouldn't get into a close friendship with a guy who I found 'interesting' who had a girlfriend or wife simply out of respect for his wife/gf and plus it would be like a big tease for me. | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 2/13/2006 2:22:01 PM | First time responding to a forum ( but always a faithful reader).
I've had many wonderful male friends.. some didn't even involve sex.
One of my best friends is male .. we 've even had people ask when we were getting married... we'd just laugh at them.
But .. and i hope this doesn't give off the wrong first impression ... most of the people who assume a guy and girl cannot be friends without shaggin' are usually girls.
See ... as a friend .. i'd rather confide my deepest darkest secrets with a man. they dont' talk all over town, they don't blab to another friend, and although they may not always agree with the things you do, they don't judge you as a female would.
So .. given choice .. i'd take my male friends over my female friends anyday. | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 2/13/2006 8:58:44 PM | | I think men and woman can be just friends. As long as you keep the line straight. I have had many guy friends, one go bad because he wanted more. But I have also had friendships work out as well. It depends on the person, and how honest you are with each other about your feelings. If it is someone that you are attracted to it is going to be harder to keep it at friends so you have to becareful as well, but I do think it can happen. | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 2/14/2006 9:11:37 AM | It was very interesting reading the various responses to your question. I am a married man who moved to Halifax 2-1/2 years ago for work reasons. Lately I am finding I really miss my old friends from back home. My wife and I talked about it and she told me about this site and to go ahead and see if I could find anyone to be friends with on here. I seem to have met two kinds of females on here..... those that run for the hills as soon as they find out you are married... even though it is in my profile.... and those that want to jump in the sack when we first meet (not me). I have met one person that I really enjoy chatting with and who knows... maybe we will become great friends some day.
So I am hoping the answer to your question is yes. The friends I miss where I come from were people I grew up with and basically knew all my life. Finding friends when you are a stranger in a strange land is another story. The people from here already have their circle of friends (just as I did back home) and people today are so busy living their lives that there does not seem to be a lot of time left over at the end of the day for anyone other than your family.
The other issue is men have this thing between their legs that drains the blood from their reasoning brain at certain times which is never a good thing if you want to remain "just friends". I think the best way to handle that is to be up front right from the beginning about what your expectations for the relationship are. At least that way the other person knows where you stand. Good luck with your course and remember friends are precious! | |
|
PA!GE®
|
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 31 | |
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 2/14/2006 9:26:29 AM | I don't wanna become friends with a married man on a dating website.
Most married men arent here looking for friends so that's not in your favour.
If I was already friends with a man and got married, I hope we could remain friends.
I could also be friends with both the man and the wife of an already married couple.
But I just dont see me beginning a NEW friendship with a married man.
esp on a dating website | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 2/15/2006 7:11:04 AM | | Thanks for your insight Paige. What you are describing is exactly my problem. I agree that most married men are looking for affairs. I am not. I previously tried Lava Life and there were 3 catagories of people - intimate encounters, dating and I can't remember the exact description but something along the lines of relationship. I chose the 3rd catagory because I am not looking for an affair and am not looking for a date. I got sh** from a couple of people on there wanting to know what I was doing on a "dating" site. I thought maybe filet of fish was different but I guess not. It seems all theses sites are all about dating. Why do they have catagories of people looking for friendship if in fact everyone is looking for a date? Je ne comprends pas!! It would be nice if there was a site for people like me who are not looking for sex or that perfect someone to spend the rest of their life with. There was an interesting stasticic on the display board at the gym I go to....50% of Canadians live within 50 miles of where they were born. That being the case maybe there are not a lot of people like me out there. But then again maybe there are - I will keep looking! | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 2/15/2006 8:38:27 AM | | I admit it's a bit odd to become friends with a married man..but not totally out of the question. Yes this is a dating site but there are categories for friends and that is mainly what I am looking for too. All depends on ur situation...is ur wife on here too? does she know u are? | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 2/15/2006 11:51:10 AM | | Hi Dimples. Yes my wife is on here too and she knows I am on here. We have been married for 28 years and are joined emotionally, financially and have two children (I have a son who is your age!). We both have successful careers in very different fields. We have no plans to seperate or divorce. We do things together but it is also ok with us if the other wants to do their own thing. For instance I love my motorcycle and walking out to Cape Split and she does not enjoy either so I do those things by myself. I am just looking for someone to share those kind of things with - apparently in all the wrong places. | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 2/15/2006 12:40:09 PM | I'm betting the things you and your wife do together , include other people, a few videos, some toys and well a joint for afterwards......
J/k.... I'm sure your just looking for friends | |
|
sal999
|
Joined: 12/21/2005
Msg: 36 | |
| |
| |
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 2/17/2006 3:15:39 AM | | Men and woman can definately be friends. A couple of my really close friends are females and are nothing more than friends to me. I love em to death and would do anything for them, but now if I even thought about that with them it would tear apart our friendship. I don't think about sex or anything when I'm with them, just them as a person. Although people say sex in pretty much all the guys think about, but there a couple of us out there, who like everything else that goes along with it, and like having good friend.s | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 2/18/2006 9:47:42 AM | | Yes, they can be friends but I've found that a lot of men don't want to remain friends for whatever reason, even though you didn't have a relationship to begin with. I don't see what their problem is. It would be nice though, especially if you don't live far from each other. That way you can do more things as friends, just hang out or whatever you want to do. | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 2/18/2006 1:24:58 PM | Message: It was very interesting reading the various responses to your question. I am a married man who moved to Halifax 2-1/2 years ago for work reasons. Lately I am finding I really miss my old friends from back home. My wife and I talked about it and she told me about this site and to go ahead and see if I could find anyone to be friends with on here. I seem to have met two kinds of females on here..... those that run for the hills as soon as they find out you are married... even though it is in my profile.... and those that want to jump in the sack when we first meet (not me). I have met one person that I really enjoy chatting with and who knows... maybe we will become great friends some day.
So I am hoping the answer to your question is yes. The friends I miss where I come from were people I grew up with and basically knew all my life. Finding friends when you are a stranger in a strange land is another story. The people from here already have their circle of friends (just as I did back home) and people today are so busy living their lives that there does not seem to be a lot of time left over at the end of the day for anyone other than your family.
The other issue is men have this thing between their legs that drains the blood from their reasoning brain at certain times which is never a good thing if you want to remain "just friends". I think the best way to handle that is to be up front right from the beginning about what your expectations for the relationship are. At least that way the other person knows where you stand. Good luck with your course and remember friends are precious!
Have u ever heard of the site HI 5 its a good place to meet "just friends" been on ther myself for about a year now and meet atleast 5 good friends on there.give it a try | |
|
| |
| |
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 3/2/2006 8:08:07 AM | I have had several really good male friends. I still have a few, as a matter of fact. However, once the friendship line gets crossed, there doesn't seem to be any going back. You are either lovers or not. You break up and then one of you doesn't want to be so friendly... You can kiss and still be friends. It is when it crosses over in to the sex category that it becomes too hard to say it's over, one way or ther other.
Pixie | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 3/2/2006 9:28:54 AM | | Some of my best friends are women, just depends on what your looking for, I`m not talking about friends with benifits either, just friends. | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 3/2/2006 9:44:24 AM | Hmmm, I dunno about the whole thing...so many of my guy friends are people I dated at one time and it just didn't work out....and there were certainly slip ups in the friendship where things happened, but it was never an issue. Just, oops that happened, that was fun, whatever, nothing changes....
I'm not sure...all friendships are different...I have some guy friends I just like to snuggle with :P Granted, that wouldn't be appropriate if I had a bf...so maybe that is crossing the friend line, who knows...i don't like lines :) | |
|
me1982
|
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 46 | |
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 3/3/2006 10:08:13 AM | i think guys and girls can be friends after all i have quite a few female friends, and alot of them are people i have never dated and have no interest in doing so really. i've also had friends where we have crossed the line into something else and are just friends now. ive never had a problem with that really, but then im not like most other people in that i never grew up with a circle of friends as i never lived anywhere long enough for that to happen seeing as the longest ive ever lived in one place at a time is three years. but again it really does come down to the people involved. as its said each to their own :P
as for those looking for just friends and not having much luck here hi5 might work and theres another site which im not completely sure of the name of theough i will do a google search for it and post it if you like nad you can see if theres anything to be found there. me though i like pof have met a couple of people for dates here as well as started off chatting with people who im sure will turn out to be great friends :) plus the forums are kinda interesting and the people are friendly from what ive seen. | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 3/5/2006 4:59:32 AM | Of course we can be "just" friends. My closest friend is a woman. I have not had good sex for years and she knows that even if I kid with her, it is just fun. Oh I suppose if she got me drunk enough....well you never know--BUT we would still be friends. She did arrange for a friend of hers to stop by to see me, thank you!, I needed that.
Most of my friends are women and I have never cheated nor left a relationship with hurt feelings(where possible). One friend of mine was learning some sex skills from another woman and used me for awhile to see if she was getting it right. Guys, if you ever find yourselves in a situation such as this; don't tell her she got it perfect, or your done! ;-)
Anyway if the chemistry is strong even with only one person, then your hormones tend to make your decisions. If you are very strong willed and clear and honest then you can resist the hormonal influences and be non sexual friends. To be sure, most men can't or won't resist.
To be fair I have a bit of an advantage at this than most men having practiced tantric lovemaking and having had spiritual expierences hundreads of times more powerfull than the best sex. | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 3/18/2006 12:19:31 PM | Well. I hate to jump on an old thread, but I'm new here so please forgive me.
The answer is yes.
My best friend is a woman and she is in a happy relationship with a guy who isn't threatened by me.
Do I/have we ever thought of doing more? Absolutely. Do I look at her like I would a guy? No way. Is there an attraction between us? For sure.
The bottom line is that I treat her like a lady (Not in any demeaning way) and she treats me like .....well, a man. We may tease each other sometimes but it's always in a cutsie fun way but we know that it will not be more than that.
It's great to have that female point of view sometimes and it's also nice to be able to give her a hug when she's down. (Wouldn't do that with any of my other buddies.)
The only bad thing is shopping with her. If I see someone attractive, I may take a look but always get a dirty look back because they think I'm a pig for looking while I'm with her. You see, we look like a couple because we are so comfortable with each other so EVERYONE assumes we are a couple. It's really funny when I go somewhere with her and her hubby. I'm her age and he's.....older. Many assume he's Dad, which is funny. | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 3/18/2006 3:23:19 PM | I think yes!!! Me and my now current fiance were really good friends for a while before we got into a relationship. I think it all depends if the man and woman understand fully what the other person is looking for or not looking for.
If 2 people understand fully that they can ony be friends, there shouldn't be any problem.
JMHO | |
|
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 3/18/2006 4:36:36 PM | | I don't know of too many women or men that 'are' married who would be in agreement of their spouse scouring a dating site for a friend of the opposite sex. What happens if the wife per say was to find this absolutely hotter than hell man and wanted to spend late evenings just talking, or playing cards, or just sharing a bag of popcorn at the movies? And would licking the popcorn off each others fingers be over the line or just a friend helping out another friend? And the same for the husband who suddenly hooks up with this amazingly beautiful and not to mention stacked woman? Would the wife be okay with this? I highly doubt it but suppose in some freaky alter -universe it could happen. | |
|
Home
login 
