| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 5/23/2007 7:44:57 PM | YES, YES, YES, AND YES AGAIN!
I have several very close guy friends who doesn't expect to jump in my pants.
And they are wonderful guys (who like girls) to which I can confide in with. | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 5/26/2007 4:33:19 PM | | Yes! I agree! I have a very very close male friend, whom I respect dearly and he does me too. I respect his wife and she trusts me . I would never break that trust nor will he. He is my partner at work. I've known him for over a year and I care for him as a brother. I'm blessed to have him as a wonderful "friend". | |
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sunny
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Joined: 3/31/2006
Msg: 103 | |
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 6/2/2007 6:39:26 PM | | I think that men and women CAN be "'friends". My best friend for the last 30+ years is Stevie. We grew up together and have been through everything without one time ever being about sex.We have been through the best times together,and the worst times and I have even threatened to kill him a time or two but I would not trade him for anyone. Also if a relationship with someone ends then I like to still be friends. Some of my ex's would still do anything in the world for me and I for them. I am still friends with my ex husband too so yes it is possible and so rewarding to keep people in your life that you must have loved at one time and still do-whether they are male or female. Sunny | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 6/3/2007 4:33:38 AM | Sure we can be friends....and think ...what a relief it is for a guy trying to interact with a PMSing woman not to have to be scared to death of what his response will do to his sex life, hahaha!  | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 8/11/2007 2:07:24 PM | I've recently been given the heave-ho from a woman i'd been seeing for about 5 months or so. Although we had slept together several times, kissed passionately once or twice, she was adamant we were just friends and would never have sex together, even though she did lead me on so much!
She ran the show and I went along with it because I felt so much for her, and didn't want to hurt her! She had a lot of mental problems but I was, and always wanted to be there for her? I never once tried it on, as I (rather foolishly now) respected her wishes.
I thought I could do the friends thing but it became increasingly hard because I was crazy about her! I really would have liked the friendship to become a full blown relationship. It ended after realising whenever I wasn't around, she was regularly going with other guys! No wonder a friendship was enough for her.
Several times she accused 'me' of only wanting the 'one thing', even though it is obviously what 'her' life is all about, she is at it all the time, with anyone else but me.
Don't think for one moment that I am bitter, that's not the case. I am much better off away from someone who really just used me whenever no-one else was around!! | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 8/12/2007 12:31:09 PM | ^^^^^ but you said you slept together several times.......
I never once tried it on, as I (rather foolishly now) respected her wishes.
I don't get it | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 8/12/2007 12:39:49 PM |
Although we had slept together several times, kissed passionately once or twice
I am thinking each and every time you slept together there should have been passionate kisses, but that is my humble opinion.
I do think men and women can be just friends, but they both have to be on the same page. :) | |
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1cc™
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Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 108 | |
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 8/12/2007 4:38:18 PM | Maybe he means they slept in the same bed together... but didn't have sex?
Anyway, there is absolutely no question that men and women can be "just friends". As long as neither one wants to sleep with the other. | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 8/13/2007 2:23:03 PM | Don't think for one moment that I am bitter, that's not the case.
Well good because there is no reason to be. By the sounds of it, she let you know what page she was on and so basically it boils down to that all your efforts were based on your own wants....not hers. The way you wrote your post though indicates you have some pretty harsh judgements against this person you were really into until they rejected you.
When I hear of situations like this it makes me want to strangle the victim. They put themselves in the line of fire basically saying, please use me so that they can get what they want from the other person. You can't exactly have a healthy relationship if it starts out on the foot with you both using each other. Yet the one who gives the most (because they want reward back) ends up angry because the other person's feelings could not be manipulated with their efforts.
In these cases you aren't even really friends. You are just using each other. She might have been off base as to what you were trying to manipulate her for but sounds like you were pulling out all the stops despite her keeping you at a distance.
I agree that men and women can be friends provided there is no major attraction. I've been friends with guys I've been physically attracted to but not mentally. When I'm in a serious relationship I keep an emotional distance from the guys I'm mentally attracted to. | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 8/13/2007 5:01:02 PM | Wow, this is an old thread. I started this awhile ago. lol.
Since I started this topic, I've gained a lot of guy friends. They're great if you need a date last minute.  | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:55:42 PM | I would like to thank everyone for their comments, but there are one or two points I would like to make clear.
I was not making judgements of any kind, harsh or otherwise against this woman. I don't dislike her and I never could. She was a depressive but that only made me feel closer to her? I didn't feel sorry for her, I thought the world of her. There were no mind games on my part, or any form of manipulation for self gratification as one of you suggests.
It was a very close friendship which in time might have got closer still, who knows?. Only time would have dictated that.
I didn't go into specific details as to how we were at times, because that is just too personal, but to use the word 'rejected' is I'm afraid the wrong choice! 'Cheated' is much closer to the mark!
I would like to ask how many of you have actually been invited into the bed of a friend, and for what reason? | |
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libbyv
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Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 112 | |
| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 8/15/2007 5:43:36 PM | Well first of all. I would rather start out as friends with anyone. And no I am not interested in going to bed with them.  Friendship, to me means talking to someone, I have to find out if we are compatible. I don't like wasting my time at all.. And I don't like people thinking that they have a right to waste my time.. Some guys think that they are better in bed then they actually are... Women don't like to be dissappointed in that area.. Let me tell you!
If there is compatibility and chemistry, there there is a chance for a friendship to develop!
Good luck everyone in your search for true friends! | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 8/19/2007 4:15:30 PM |
Some guys think that they are better in bed then they actually are... Women don't like to be dissappointed in that area.. Let me tell you!
And I can tell you men don't like women who act all "British" in bed either...
Tim
=)x | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 10/16/2007 12:50:17 PM | friends like that should be couples
I had a best friend never kissed her now she's been married to my best guy friend that I introduced them together.
wish I hadn't cause I think she would of been the one, then again she and he are happy | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 10/16/2007 5:13:08 PM | I myself do believe men and women can be friends.
HOWEVER
it does depend on how u pick and choose ur friends too, if ur a girl or a guy and make friends with people who are like high school horndogs lol (sorry it made me laugh) anyways back to topic at hand. like i was saying if u pick/choose horndogs for friends then you are probably gonna have them wanting to get in bed with you and possibly ruin what could have been a perfectly good friendship due to the fact that can't control their how do I say "hornyness". But then again you could get that point across from the beginning and you probably won't have to worry about it, anyways thats what i think. It depends on what kinda friends you have i guess, but if you both know that its only about friendship than oh ya men and women can definitely make great friends it's the messin around that screws things up in the end. Another thing I do believe in is that you can still stay friends after being in a relationship so long as nobody did the other wrong and you both went your seperate ways accordingly, I myself am still good friends with alot of girls i've dated or had relationships with in the past.
thats all I have to say for now
Laterz!  | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 11/15/2007 6:42:26 PM | | I think it can happen so long as they have never been intimate or close to that point. If there is obvious attraction & the eye contact is intense, it's game over for just friendship I'd say. | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:33:11 PM | annie0570 
I am living proof that it can be done. Infact, my ex is on here and I wish I could find him that perfect wonderful woman for him. We are still good friends. He knows I am getting back into dating and I know he is. We both posted something for the other to help let the other sex's know about us. We are better as friends then when we were together , because we wanted different things and were on different paths in our lives. I do still love him , but only as a friend. I could never go back to him , nor him me. I have seen his profile and he seen mine. We still help eachother out in times of need , but also know when a times comes and we find someone we have to back off so we don't make the person we are with feel uncomfrotable. I will always be there for him when he needs me. I know he will be there for me too. I just wish he could find someone for him. He is such a good guy. Infact , if anyone from NS wants to look at my profile and look down to see what he wrote and then click on his profile. please do. I want to see him happy and find someone who will be right for him.
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 4/1/2008 4:00:22 PM | | I don't have alot of "real" female friends actually...I have quite a few online though.Given the opportunity I would sleep with most of them lol | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 4/3/2008 7:14:55 AM | Yes, men and woman can be friends. I find that the ones that can are the ones that see people of the opposite sex as complex individuals instead of these one-dimentional characters.
Wanting to have sex with a friend really isn't the concern. That can be more easily compartmentalized. Falling in love and bringing deeper emotions into play is the problem.
I have a personal belief that if you have not or don't think you have the ability to be friends with the opposite sex then you will never be able to have a lifetime love affair with one. | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 4/5/2008 11:56:51 AM | Yes, men and woman can be friends. I find that the ones that can are the ones that see people of the opposite sex as complex individuals instead of these one-dimentional characters.
Now there's a fascinating quote...
so all these women that claimed to be my friend, fell in love with me, and then found it too hard to be my friend anymore saw me as one-dimensional... That completely clears things up... thanks for the insight!
Care to rethink that?
There's vastly more to not being friends than just being a horndog. The fact is, if you really care about and love this person, as good friends will, it very often leads to thoughts that they can be your mate... from either sex. | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 4/5/2008 12:16:03 PM |
so all these women that claimed to be my friend, fell in love with me, and then found it too hard to be my friend anymore saw me as one-dimensional... That completely clears things up... thanks for the insight!
Care to rethink that?
Nope, because you completely misunderstood what I was saying. There are people that believe that men and woman cannot be friends under any circumstances. Those are the one-dimensional people that I was talking about. | |
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| Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Posted: 4/5/2008 12:30:01 PM | Ah Dame, I see, your comment wasn't about individual relationships but people with the blanket beliefs about how those relationships can be.
Now I can address your actual point... which is still highly related to my comment...
There are many people with limited numbers of interactions with the opposite sex as friends. If, those always concluded with them, or the other, falling into unrequited love then of course they could come to the belief that friendship is impossible. It doesn't require them to think of the opposite sex as a simplified caricature. In fact, it may be just the opposite. | |
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