~iiCe~
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Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 26 | |
| internet dating - uh huh.
Posted: 2/11/2006 9:37:30 AM | | ^^ its because ham looks for the girls with the model pics and hopes that they are real... | |
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| internet dating - uh huh.
Posted: 2/11/2006 9:41:40 AM | "Hambone352 actually I have been on myspace and talked with a few women that are no way what you have said. I guess its what your looking for"
Well, it's probably "Location, location, location"
I have seen some relatively sane looking women on there that don't go out partying all the time. Also, myspace seems to be geared to a younger crowd. | |
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TMP
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Joined: 10/21/2005
Msg: 28 | |
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TMP
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Joined: 10/21/2005
Msg: 29 | |
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| internet dating - uh huh.
Posted: 2/11/2006 11:07:25 AM | | I don't think that's the truth. I mean, I was on here for a bit with my old username for 2 months to give it a go and I just found that it was not for me. I have a lot of men that ask me out on dates outside the internet realm and I find that it works for me better. I know the men beforehand....on here, there are a lot of men on pretense. Hence, it's best that I just stick to the forums...rather than meet someone on here. | |
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| Hi TMP.
Posted: 2/11/2006 11:44:50 AM | Great play on my words, thanks !
I believe we meant very different things, but that's OK too.
Perfectionist ? I think that depends on who is doing the measuring - for I have
met plenty of folks that make me seem incredibly laid back - while others by
comparison look very laid back compared to me - the measuring stick differs
very widely, it would seem.
Blaming ?
An odd concept in response to my posts.
So, kindly reinterpret these events for me:
I told one woman I wanted a LT relationship vs. just visiting - and she dumped
me completely and instantly - how shall I blame myself for this ?
Yet another woman suggests marriage, tells me I am 'the perfect man' for her,
then dumps me - how am I to blame myself for that ?
And in the middle - not wanting to be with a woman that I had to struggle to
get away from to go to work - OK, I will take 100% responsibility for ending
that. (Would you want someone like that as a mate ?)
One thing I find very interesting about posting here is the emotional ways
that folks 'hear' what other folks post, and how they respond as a result.
If a person simply reads what another posts and works to do so without
their internal dialogue and free of personal inflection, things could appear in
a totally different light - does this make sense to you ?
Be Well, and Happy !
mark | |
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| internet dating - uh huh.
Posted: 2/11/2006 11:46:39 AM | | Hate to break it to ya, Mark, but YOU are the common denominator in all of these past dysfunctional relationships - wouldn't you say? And it seems more than clear to me that in a lot of them, based on what you wrote, you knew right off the bat that these women had issues (neediness, as an example, or the women with admittedly "messed up kids") - yet you pursued things. Maybe if you were to look deep down and do some self-reflection -- instead of coming to such an inaccurate conclusion that there's no "good women" out there any more, you'd realize that there's something about YOU that's attracted to women who don't make good partners - and maybe work on that...instead of carrying such a large chip on your shoulder and painting all women with the same brush. | |
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| Hi TMP.
Posted: 2/11/2006 11:48:18 AM | | ...by the way, after reading your last post, you come across as someone who's got down pat, the "victim" mindset - that you're so hard done by and that you just can't get a break in life, when it comes to women. Again - who's the common denominator here? | |
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| Hi Alberta.
Posted: 2/11/2006 11:52:49 AM | I shall stop this immediately - as soon as I can find a gun and shoot myself !!
(Sorry, just kidding !)
Actually, my belief is much simpler - that one must give things a chance, and
that it is most likely to take work and devotion to make a relationship between
any 2 people that have met as adults after separate life experiences.
I do so love the projection in this place !!
Best Wishes,
mark | |
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| Genngi....
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:03:16 PM | My sincerest thanks for your thoughtful reply and kind wishes.
It is very impressive how different people can read the same thing and have
such diametrically different responses !
What you posted makes perfect sense to me, and I agree - of course everyone
has baggage, including me - it is as you said though - how we deal with it (or
not ?) and whether we are willing to grow through our experiences that makes
or breaks not only relationships, but ourselves as people.
I have found some things to be true in life and that they seem to be almost
universal - here's one of them: Some people respond to open sharing as a
threat - and will become angry and even violent in response; where at the
opposite end of this scale, there are people that will see such sharing as being
full and honest and respond in kind - often reaching out for greater sharing.
It amazes me how different people can actually be.
Be Well, and Happy !
mark* | |
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| Hi Alberta.
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:05:41 PM | It's one thing to go into these relationships, already knowing what these women are like already.
See the thing is, in my situation, I go out with a woman...she flakes out, (thus finding out AFTERWARDS that she's flake) and after several of these flakes...some how I am too blame for this.
I get the, "Well, sounds like you don't know how to pick the right women"
Actually, there's no logic to that statement, and it is phrased in a way that somehow says its me that's the problem, how do you know if they are the RIGHT women, if you don't know that at first?
Some people think that if you've gotten dumped or met 10 people that didn't work out, that's it's some how you and not them, EVEN when you stated in detail what went down with each person. Ie-she cancelled a date, she stood me up, she played you, etc
And when someone does said examples to me, I get , "You don't know how to pick the right women"?? | |
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| Hi Alberta.
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:11:07 PM | hambone, you just seem very arguementative a lot! From what I have seen in your threads and posts!
maybe that's the problem!
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| alberta_gurl38
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:12:39 PM | You have impressed me with the depth of your thoughts, and how much of yourself
has been shown with their sharing, thank you.
BTW, I spend a great deal of time in silence, solitude and reflection, as you suggested.
Perhaps you are a very devoted meditator yourself - and spend an hour of more daily
in silence and reflection ?
Just for clarity - I was trying deliberately to be vague about those poor children - but
since you pointed there, I shall be more specific: The younger was 6 but had a brain
defect that prevented growth beyond that of a 2 year old; and the older was angry
and openly violent because of sibling rivalry with the younger that got 'all the attention'.
They were both in treatment as a result of their individual sufferings, and all this left
mom very, very worn out after caretaking and working as well.
The story had a happy ending as such too - a year of so after she dumped me because
I wanted a LTR and she didn't, she met and married a nice man - so I guess she changed
her mind when things were exactly right, and I am glad they are happy.
I'll say the rest for you and save you the effort:
Of course she would have objected to a LTR with my sad, pitiful, victim self !!
Be Well, and Happy !
mark* | |
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| Hi Alberta.
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:18:13 PM | "maybe that's the problem!"
Well, you haven't seen me outside the forums.
But, hey, I could be worse, right? And since when is being arguementative all that bad? | |
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| Hi Alberta.
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:19:54 PM | | Now that I think about it, I believe the meat and potatos of forums in general is its arguementative content. | |
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| Hi Hambone.
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:20:22 PM | I would LOVE to have the magic object that allows me to know INSTANTLY if the
woman I am having a chat with is no doggone good right off - then I could simply
bid her good day and be off to find one who is better !!
Alberta must have this magic object, so I suggest we encourage her to share this
object of perfection with the rest of us poor, limited beings !
All kidding aside, it is clear that there is alot of anger and inability to see and honour
the experiences of others here, as well as many people that condemn immediately
because of absolutely anything they can latch on to - they just come here to flame
others apparently, and I for one am happy to help them vent their bile so harmlessly.
Consider this for a second:
If you read the posts of flamers, conclusion-jumpers, and labelers - isn't it amazing
how they somehow skip sharing any of their personal experiences at all ?
I wonder why that is.....?
Be Well, and Happy !
mark* | |
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| Hi Hambone.
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:32:02 PM | "I wonder why that is.....?"
Here is what I think about that. Basically, a post is made.....and typically it hits home with some readers here...however, they get defensive because they too have treated that person badly.
I.e. - A poster posts something about how some person did them wrong, they go into detail what had happened to them.
Someone that responds to that post, finds that they too, at one time, they treated someone inappropriately. And that post that was made orignally offends them.
Then they respond with: "Well, maybe/perhaps" (they usually start off with setences with "Maybe" or "Perhaps"
"well, maybe, he was busy, and that's why you THOUGHT you were stood up or blew you off" (or whatever)
See, the person that did the blowing off, a responder to such posts was also one of those people that had blew that person off, and is making excuses for that person that they posted about. Because, they too, have been the offending party on a date situation. | |
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| Hi Hambone.
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:39:59 PM | Thanks Hambone.
I guess some things just 'strike too close to home' as you say.
What you explained is why I don't mind the flamers - they need to vent their pain
and suffering, so what better place than here where it is harmless ??
I really got a giggle out of the woman that told me I was 'shamelessly promoting myself'
by sharing my personal experiences in the forum !!
HELLO !!! This is a personals site !!! We all have ads and postings here.
What is this site for if not 'putting ourselves out there' for others to see ?
I guess she must have meant we would do better to meet new people by hiding
in a dark closet, quietly - that would be better, right, right ?
(Yeah, yeah - that's the ticket !!)
Best Wishes,
mark* | |
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| internet dating - uh huh.
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:41:45 PM | | Is it just moi?? Or is Smallhagrid ready for the Turnip Farm??? Hmmmmmmmmmm | |
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| Great !
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:53:32 PM | What a perfect example of harmless manure slinging, just as I suggested !!
(And such deep personal sharing as well - YES, she must be the purr-fect
woman - and I'm off to Maine this very minute !!)((NOT !))
Best Wishes !
mark* | |
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cyw
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Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 47 | |
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| internet dating - uh huh.
Posted: 2/12/2006 1:12:10 PM | Sorry small...whatever, but you're just full of shit.
There is no pharmacist in their right mind, who values their license, that would fill a script for anti-depps with the instructions for use that you describe.
If you're gonna lie, at least google for some credible info on the subject! | |
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| For my dear friend Fluxion !
Posted: 2/12/2006 2:25:30 PM | Fluxion:
You imply that there are NO corrupt pharmacists or doctors, may I ask
which planet you live on ?
A wise, older person once taught me that those who point the finger and
pronounce: 'Liar !' are most often liars themselves, trying to make things
go the other way.
Of course, you know exactly -zero- about me personally, but if you actually
did, your main problem with me would be that I am a compulsive truth
teller, with a HUGE sensitivity concerning lies and liars - a pet peeve of mine.
So -
You may wish to be careful about exactly who you point that accusing finger
at - it could backfire upon you....
(And I do wonder, since you are in health care according to your profile - are
you either a RN or a pharmacist yourself ?)
Points to for man bashers like Fluxion to consider:
1 - The woman in that bit of telling is a career nurse (RN) of over 18 years, so
it is assured she has the very best connections in her trade and community.
2 - I have known her family for over a decade, and they keep her secret.
3 - Post-relationship I was shocked to find out that not only is it common
for RNs to be big drug users, but that this woman in particular has been
known in this small town as a radical druggy for over 20 years - and in
point of fact it is the reason she moved an hour away, to escape her
own past reputation.
4 - The prescribing resident doctor owes this woman many thousands of
dollars - as her BF he obtained some large loans from her, and as her
ex it is not a big stretch to imagine what remaining hold she has upon
him.
Lastly dear Fluxion - you have deliberately and maliciously libelled a person
who has never used any illicit drugs of any kind - and who resists taking any
sort of medication at all times - while you have publicly stated that you are
a smoker, which means that in point of fact that you are a confirmed addict,
by your own say so.
The only credibility you have here is your nastiness, which I am proud to
say has caused me no pain - not even a passing concern.
Personally - I would be very embarassed to say the things you have said,
especially in a public forum where folks can see your face - and it is very
sad how such a lovely face can utter such hurtful words to a stranger.
I wish you well !
mark* | |
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| internet dating - uh huh.
Posted: 2/13/2006 11:40:30 AM | Hmmmm? Prozac equals "Druggie"?? Even unlimited refills have to be, eventually, called into prescribing Dr. Zanex, Oxycotin, morphine-type prescrips... maybe yes could equal "Druggie". But...PROZAC? Sheesh!
(Perhaps you made her anxious? Thus the Prozac?) AND...did you immediately sit down with her and ASK about the Prozac, and tell her it upset you?
Anyway...reading this date-history seems kinda sad. It appears you are a VERY nice guy, but also a "rescuer". Nothing wrong with that...but cannot be full of expectations for others' behaviors that are long-ingrained. Sometimes unavoidable life events occur and one may need a one-time "rescuing". For others it is a pattern.And it is easy to find that out within one or two dates. Have they always had some sort of crisis or drama? Or was it only the one time?
I used to be a rescuer...so I can say much of this is from experience,and it isn't the same as saving the pup by the road!
Most of these types are never going to change and get their act together. No matter how much you attempt to love them thru it.
I have finally learned to avoid those who have the "woe-is-me" past stories and am now interested in healthy, "want-to-grab Life by the tail" people. What a difference!!!  Carpe Deim! | |
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