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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:13:00 AM | Sexual chemistry is vital.. no question. Without it.. you got nothing but a female or male friend and nothing more. Even if you think you could try and maybe wait and see if it turns into something more? It won't.. you're fooling yourself by forcing something that is intended to come naturally.
Nope.. it spells disaster to continue. | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:37:19 AM | You know why it was a clinical study? "They" (feel free to rail against any government or pharmaceutical company here...) So they could make a pill to either re-create it, (with side effects of course...) or try to eliminate it.
Ok, that wasn't why I wanted to respond, but seemd like a good spot to start.
Can we instantly feel this chemistry if one or both parties want to "take things slow"? I think so. There's definitely an underlying tension there. It's palpable and very real.
On the flipside, you can certainly sense disinterest almost immediately as well. Trust your instincts, they'll usually tell you what's best. (Easier said than done, I know...) | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:43:21 AM | | I dont realy know... Ive been in situations where everything was perfect you couldnt ask for more but something was missing maybe thats chemistry.... I believe we all been like this and often wonderd the same things its kinda like the old tootsie pop comercials... the world may never know. I do know that I would rather be single then to ever wonder what if... | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 2/19/2006 6:13:28 AM | i believe 'chemistry' is merely a device for 'players' to fool naive women into sleeping with them on the first date. It's like saying, "you're my type"...huh? What exactly defines type? past experience and hindsight? sounds extremely fishy to me. I've heard all the theory about "scent" and so forth, but i take it all with a grain of salt.
As for having an intuition about who is a 'player' or 'loser' or 'abuser', then all the more power to you. I also take this with a grain of salt.
I feel all these are merely assumptions. how many assumptions in your past, pro and con, have turned out partially or totally wrong? (of course, my entire post is an assumption as well) | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 2/19/2006 6:34:32 AM | If the woman feels no chemistry, she should still perform her romantic lovemaking duties. Why should the man do without just because her emotions can't get with the program?
If the man feels no chemistry it could mean he is hungry and mistook his hunger pangs for lust, which happens. Either way, he has a job to do and shouldn't leaver her wanting just because he can't keep his appetites straight.
Clearly romance requires us to put the sexual needs of our partner ahead of whatever dumb thing is keeping us from enjoying the whole reason we have two sexes in the first place. | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 6/14/2006 6:22:07 AM | Chemistry is vital but isn't always instant. It can take time to build trust, understand the preferences of your partner and adjust to each other.
If you like everything else about the person, I'd be patient. All the people who say you should just dump them and move on, well, that probably says a lot about why they're on here. | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 42 | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 6/14/2006 11:31:16 AM | Hmm is the bottom line sex is the basis to it all? can sexual chemistry gorw over time or does the guy/girl have to want you immediately or no chance?
Why is everyone always in a rush for a relationship? Is it because someone else around the corner may be better?
Is chemistry only immediate and not built as you get to know the person? Or is compatibility only based on if the person looks hot? | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 6/14/2006 11:37:55 AM | That depends on the person - for some it can grow and for others, if it's not there from the start, it's not going to happen.
We can't choose who we're attracted to - be it can change over time.
I don't know about sex being the bottom line but I think the attraction and sexual feelings are what motivates a lot of us. | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 6/14/2006 12:49:25 PM | | ^^I am so glad I am not in the game. Seems too much bs and I find that women for me want chemistry immediately not knowing anything about me and not knowing if we are compatible..I have even been told by many women that chemistry is more important than compatibility...ok sure.. | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 47 | |
| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 6/14/2006 12:58:00 PM | | Rabid: I met someone from POF back in February...I was not at attracted to him physically, though I have maintained a friendship with him all these months and we hang out usually once or twice a week. He is a super nice guy, but, I still cannot bring myself to enter into a 'relationship' because I still do not feel that 'chemisty', even though he has admitted he would like to take things further with me in a sexual manner. I may sound hypocritical, when i say I do not choose chemistry over compatibitlity.but I have even tried to imagine what it would be like to have sexual relations with this guy,and I just can't...there is nothing sexually appealing at all about him to me. So, I'm afraid there has to be just a little bit of something, even if it is just 'wow, his kisses are amazing". | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 6/14/2006 1:04:41 PM | Wow times have definitely changed for the worse...glad to see who a person is to women means less, all about sexual attraction..so all in looks is number 1...the poor average looking guys who try to look great and are terrific guys...come up a bit short huh? Man ladies you sure are missing out on alot of awesome men out there...if they are not making you go 'Oh man he is hot" I guess he just ain't making the cut in these times? Why not have a bit of an open mind and give some guys a chance, I bet you will find you will meet amazing guys you never would have given a chance to in the beginning.
And many people wonder why alot of guys want to give up and all they hear is 'No do not do that" Put yourself in those guys' shoes for a change and see why... | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 49 | |
| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 6/14/2006 1:12:11 PM | | Ok...let me try this again...I have dated guys who I maybe would not give a second glance to on the street, but have started out as friends, and maybe we exchanged a hug and I got a little butterfly feeling in my stomach. That is what I am talking about...something as minute as that could be 'chemistry'. I'm saying with this particular guy, I dont feel anything...not even remote tingle when we accidently bump into eachother... | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 6/14/2006 1:25:43 PM | i wasn't going to chime in on this, but it kind of irked me to read men and women both summarily dismiss relationships due to an instant lack of chemistry.
i'm amazed at women posting here, sizing up a guy and forming a lifelong perpetual mental image of sexual non-chemistry. same thing is true for the guys doing that too.
if you haven't had sex with someone, how do you KNOW that there is no sexual chemistry? it's illogical to state that you don't have sexual chemistry unless YOU HAVE SEX. duh.
of course love isn't a logical emotion to many of us. but to me it's a no-brainer--have sex first without assuming it won't be a mutually satisfactory experience.
not everyone is as sexually advanced either, you are going to end a relationship without first discussing what is dissatisfactory? so much instant gratification among many singles today, perhaps that's why some of you all continue to be single and/or cheat on your partners? lack of communication skills? lack of opening your mind and giving someone the benefit of a doubt when lots of other personality aspects line up to what you want in a partner?
now that my rant on that is over, i'll state i think sexual chemistry is quite important in a relationship. however, i'd likely look over a few clunky sexual mannerisms in my partner if most every other relationship-like aspect of her are very satisfactory. sex, although an important part of a relationship, is not the be-all end-all. | |
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