| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 11/21/2006 11:27:19 AM | No i think there has to be sexual attraction to be with someone. If you cannot be sexually attracted with someone what will stop you from cheating? If you can even resist the temptation to cheat, how can you feel close without that chemistry? Yes sex is not everything and many people need to wait longer to be with someone sexually but to not have sex and resist it till you truly know the person is different then not being sexually attracted. Without chemistry there is nothing. There is only friendship. | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 128 | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 11/22/2006 1:52:02 AM | No chemistry? NO WAY! If theres no attraction, theres no point. I think there are many important factors when it comes to dating..........chemistry is a definite big one.
Why waste time dating someone you are not attracted to or vise versa?When i'm dating someone I need that "spark"........it keeps me coming back for more...........and the relationship alive. | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 11/22/2006 3:17:20 AM | Just because there's no sexual chemistry there doesn't mean 2 people can't go out together.
Naturally, the chemistry would be perferable but that shouldn't keep them from being friends.
Also, when someone does come along, your friends should have the good manners to get out of the way.
Afterall, 100 good friends is better than 1 bad lover. | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 11/22/2006 3:57:55 AM | nipoleon;
As nice, and true your statement was, the issue at hand is can you date someone you have no chemistry with.
You're right though, I mean myself I don't just talk to women purely with sexual intentions.. so there is no need for sexual chemistry for friendship. ;)
Fr0 | |
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lauire
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Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 133 | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/7/2006 5:54:25 AM | | If there isn't any sexual spark there...then my answer is probably not. Both partners have to be feeling that kind of chemistry with eachother...1 just isn't gonna cut it. So, if the person you're dating isn't making you "giddy in the pants", then maybe you'll have a good friendship. But, that's also a cue to start looking for someone who you'll have the sexual connection with. | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/13/2006 8:02:59 PM | Well, I think there are all sorts of elements to consider.
Overall, I don't think that chemistry is an ON or OFF proposition.
There are times when for example, you work in the same building with someone and you feel no spark.
You have occasional coffees together, and then something simmers beneath...
sometimes you can fall in love with something quite subtle, and that something, that je ne sais quoi..
You can date someone that you find pleasant in the hopes of finding the indescribable something..
You have to have a certain amount in common with them.
I have never had a sexless romantic relationship, though I have known others that have.
Interesting question. | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/13/2006 8:03:14 PM | Well, I think there are all sorts of elements to consider.
Overall, I don't think that chemistry is an ON or OFF proposition.
There are times when for example, you work in the same building with someone and you feel no spark.
You have occasional coffees together, and then something simmers beneath...
sometimes you can fall in love with something quite subtle, and that something, that je ne sais quoi..
You can date someone that you find pleasant in the hopes of finding the indescribable something..
You have to have a certain amount in common with them.
I have never had a sexless romantic relationship, though I have known others that have.
Interesting question. | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/19/2006 2:30:36 PM | There's two kinds of chemistry as far as I'm concerned. The first is the sparks are flying type where if not separated immediately the pair are going to be at each other right in the middle of Tim Hortons.
Then there's the you get along well, have some good conversations, build up a friendly and trustful relationship of sorts and find out that you had no idea he or she was going to be such a hot act in bed.
I wouldn't judge it based on a date unless you clearly have bad vibes about one another right off the top.
I find first time sex is often awkward and more a case of walking away saying "that is by no means what I intended to have happen". But if the basic desire for one another is there then the second type of 'surprise' may be awaiting you. | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/19/2006 3:11:24 PM | Oh, that feeling...it is instant! And indescribable...I just "know".
I couldn't continue to date someone that I didn't have that feeling for. Being intimate with that person isn't gonna make it magically appear if it isn't already there.
Ever get that "feeling" just by looking at his/her picture on here? Then, can only imagine what it would feel like upon actually meeting?
I can only imagine... | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/19/2006 3:39:46 PM | | Hummmm, I'm not sure I agree totally with Clickit13. I know what you mean or what you think you are saying by "that feeling ....it is instant" I want to prepose that that isn't really chemistry...it's attraction. Attraction is a whole different animal. Chemistry is an interaction with one another that takes time to cultivate. Do you have the same interests, values, spiritual beliefs, ambitions etc. Attraction is the first sight magnitism. I mean you might have that immediate attraction to a man and find out later he's a serial killer. That's hardly chemistry though. No, it doesn't magically appear but assuming you are not physically turned off by the person, it might take a few weeks or months to develop. On the other hand how many times have you felt what you thought was "chemistry" only to find out later the guy was a complete disrespectful jerk? That again, wasn't chemistry...just attraction which can be fleeting and is notoriosly unreliable for who to get involved in a relationship with. I know another girl an another dating website that is always looking for that "chemistry" She goes out with men for one date and tells me "they were nice men, but no chemistry" Then, she talks about past relationships where she needed therapy to get over because the guy was so abusive she had to get out...but initially she felt "chemistry" to him. Maybe if she gave some of the other nice men she encountered a chance past day one, real chemistry might have slowly developed and then the attraction behind it. Now once again, I'm assuming your going out with people who you consider physically attractive and don't have a third eye on their forehead, but you just don't feel that immediate ...what you call "chemistry" I think if everything else is in place, that can develop over time. | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/19/2006 3:48:26 PM | | There is that goal down the road...everyone's goal,though not stated openly by everyone,(although it doesn't have to be.) This is the end purpose when dating someone. You're not looking for this when you make a friend. There would be no purpose in dating someone if you didn't visualize /anticipate this...it's exciting! | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/19/2006 9:37:10 PM | | I think it would all depend on the person. If sex is not that important to you or you are ok getting pleasure in minimal amounts then whatever works for ya. Me personally would have to feel sexual chemistry or there would be no spark keeping the candle flaming and I would get bored , FAST | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/19/2006 9:37:31 PM | | I think it would all depend on the person. If sex is not that important to you or you are ok getting pleasure in minimal amounts then whatever works for ya. Me personally would have to feel sexual chemistry or there would be no spark keeping the candle flaming and I would get bored , FAST | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/20/2006 5:00:13 AM | Sex isn`t everything, but it helps! ;)
If you get on great then waiting for a bit isn`t so bad, as it can just happen!!Depends on the individual.
I need to have it there first off, sometimes i can tell if it will be an electrifying just by chatting and a date, i`m pretty laid back so if i think thats in the person i meet then i can hold the horses! just for a bit!
Impatient me lol
If it lacked it and there was no immediate spark, i`d have to move on, its something that has to be there!
So if i don`t feel that wow feeling, then it doesn`t progress to anymore than friendship!
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/20/2006 5:37:46 AM |
If one possesses the ability to listen to their physical instincts the answer is simple, but what if we are not that intelligent?
Chemistry is the way two individuals relate to each other. If you don't have that, how can you relate? If we were not that intelligent, we might be animals where procreation is the only physical instinct we would have. I am sure even animals choose their mate based on factors we don't understand. I fail to see what intelligence has to do with this. Stupidity and turning the other cheek may be a more appropriate way of saying one person feels the 'chemistry' but the other doesn't and won't admit it or move on. Basically, no chemistry = no sex. IMHO | |
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